Little Bit Of Everything

Yesterday, when I texted you to tell you I ended things with my boyfriend, you immediately called me to see what happened, to make sure I was okay. You made me feel important, heard, cared about. I hadn’t felt those things in so long. I want to stay away from you. I know that you’re no good for me. But damn it, I can’t help that I want you. Not just parts. All of you. I know I can’t have you. That’s something I have to keep reminding myself of. If you really wanted me, you’d have me. But you don’t. And that’s okay. But I’m not okay. I’m not okay without you. I will be. It’s going to take time. So please be careful about what you say and how you act around me. Because I will take every word, movement, look and think myself crazy about the what if’s.

Knowing how I feel about you, you continue to string me along. You love her, but you like me. You have her, but you want me. You bring me to the edge, and then you go home to her. I know you aren’t happy, and so do you. But you stay. Your actions are destroying me. I’m high on you one minute, and then I’m going through withdrawals. And you are the only cure for my heartache. I can’t get you out of my head, and you’ve taken up permanent residence in my heart. Why are you doing this to me? Why do you keep hurting me. Either choose me, or let me go. Stop bringing me back.

For weeks, it felt like I was the one you wanted. We were inseparable, always near each other, texting if we weren’t face to face. Telling each other some of our deepest thoughts and fears, wants and needs. It was almost heaven. But something changed in you. You flipped out of no where, leaving me with unanswered questions and a sore heart. I have to get over you. I have to heal myself. You’re what I want, but you’re not what I need. And I’m what you need, but not what you want. This is our tragic love story.