You’re in her DMs, I’m screaming her name across the moors and she somehow hears me. We’re not the same.

Craft stores are just like "can I interest you in some...objects? some items? would you like some things?" and every time I'm like Oooh I love objects and items and things!

#i black out the second i enter a michael's and come to like an hour later with three bags full of beads and 5lbs of fake birds

he is turning the tiles brown. he needs to be contained

SCP 

first date with me is watching shrek and then i fight you during the credits

woke up and turned over and there was a roach next to me.... wtf did we do last night....?

the only person that understands me is richard siken

Team “not actually oblivious to flirting, just terrified of appearing presumptuous” represent.

“Yes, in the balance of consideration this person’s behaviour could certainly be interpreted as flirtatious, but it would be purest arrogance for me to just assume they actually meant what they said. I should gather more evidence. Forever.”