katsme.

there is no site that you can read the series for free, but if you search google long enough, there are epub/pdf files provided. 

All For The Game series by Nora Sakavic

Book #1 The Foxhole Court: xBook #2The Raven King: xBook #3The King’s Men: x

ok well this list has been a long time coming tbh but i’m finally motivated enough to do it and i PROMISE u i will forget something throughout the course of writing this, so please don’t hesitate to reblog with your own recs!!

disclaimer that most of these are white gay dudes, bc that’s what i’ve read and that’s what i’ve got. if u have more recs that are NOT white gay dudes, please PLEASE share. i need more of that in my life.

all for the game by nora sakavic @korakos (the foxhole court series)

summary: ugh man. ok so like. this series is the story of a kid (neil) who’s been on the run his whole life finding a home and finding a Reason To Stay in a family of exy players (exy is a made up sport - kind of like lacrosse and hockey had a baby). the team (the foxes) is made up of troubled kids and so there’s so much more to it too, with all the twists and turns and a whole host of shitty abusive characters i have to be vague here bc Spoilers but like. man. there’s a Whole Lot.

why: yOU FALL IN LOVE WITH ALL OF THE CHARACTERS. i’ve never seen a sports story like this where you get to know everyone’s story and character except check please before. the main characters are andrew minyard and kevin day (who is the jack zimmerman of the foxhole court series tbh what a Dork). it’s kids learning that their boundaries will be respected, it’s neil learning that he can have a home, can have this, it’s andrew learning that Some Things Are Worth Fighting For IT’S SO GOOD AND I’M SO GAY. (the first book is free to download!!!)

(my tag for it on my blog)

maybe don’t if: rape, csa, abuse, torture, etc etc etc are not good for you it’s chock full of it tbh

check please by @ngoziu​ 

summary: i lied a lil this one is a webcomic and not a book BUT it’s about a small gay kid named eric bittle from georgia goes to play hockey at an elite made up school, samwell. the captain of this team is hockey’s former golden child, jack zimmerman who has So Many Issues (god he is the kevin day of check please). there’s character development and sheneganins galore. 

why: ok listen. when i was first recommended this i was ALSO like. hockey? really? but man you start reading it and YOU CAN’T PUT IT DOWN. the art is GORGEOUS and the characters are SO WELL DONE and there’s so much EXTRA CONTENT.  i don’t even have anything else to say I LOVE CHECK PLEASE SO MUCH it’s gorgeous and adorable and portrays college life SO GODDAMN WELL it’s amazing. (there’s a point when a character makes an excel spreadsheet to figure out future plans for another characters and i DIED bc i have def done this before)

(my tag for it on my blog)

maybe don’t if: i guess like? anxiety/mental health stuff? but it’s mentioned a couple times and characters are dealing with it and stuff. can’t think of anything else. this one’s p vanilla actually.

the song of achilles by madeline miller

summary: like, if you’re reading this list you’ve probably already either read or been recommended this book at least a thousand times. i’m gonna do it again. it’s the greek myth story of achilles, told in the pov of his lover patroclus and follows them from kids to their deaths (this is not a spoiler the myth is like thousands of years old like come on). there is a war (u might have heard of it, it’s called the trojan war), a training montage, and a lot of gay ass kissing.

why: gorgeous writing. like honestly i couldn’t put it down for the whole night i was reading it. it’s beautifully written and talks a lot about legends and how legends are made (who lives who dies who tells ur story, amirite). and about humanity and living past your life through your deeds and what you can do and prophecy, etc, and a lot about what you’d give up for another person. 

(my tag for it on my blog)

maybe don’t if: mentions of homophobia, war violence, mentions of rape + slavery

the half life trilogy by sally green

summary: it’s a fantasy world where witches and magic exist, and the witches (co-ed term here) are split up into white witches (the Good Witches) and black witches (the Bad Witches) (gotta love that coded word terminology :/) and our protagonist, nathan, is half white witch, half black witch (and his father is like, the Most Powerful black witch so there’s that) so the story follows nathan and all of the white witches’ attempts to figure him out and control him and his powers and shit while nathan’s trying to fight them and find his dad. (nathan is like the epitome of Fucking Fight Me tbh)

why: ok i gotta be honest here i haven’t actually read the last one and apparently some #problematic shit goes down in that one, so approach this one warily. but man, this one also has a beautiful storyline and the plot is so, so interesting because the world is so beautifully done and intricate, and the characters are allowed to change and mature as the story goes on. tbh i’m probably the least excited about this series in this whole list, esp bc of what i’ve heard goes on in the last book but. it’s a good read.

(my tag for it on my blog)

maybe don’t if: abuse, torture, medical torture, etc

aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe by benjamin allire saenz

summary: man this one doesn’t even really have a summary - it’s two kids growing up together and figuring out who they are and learning to love one another.

why: again, gorgeous writing oh my god (are u seeing a pattern). TWO NON WHITE NON STRAIGHT DUDES!!!! YUUSSS. anyway this entire book was gorgeous and talked about the Growing Up Not White In American thing wonderfully?? it’s also the first ya novel i read where the parents are as involved as they are and it’s amazing. it’s so sweet and so pure i love this book

(my tag for it on my blog)

maybe don’t if: i don’t remember anything overtly triggering about this book but i also read it a while ago so i could be wrong bUT it’s a Wholesome Pure book so i doubt it tbh READ THIS BOOK

i’ll give you the sun by jandy nelson

summary: this is the story of two twins, jude and noah, growing up in the world, coming to terms with sexuality, coming to terms with their past and who they are, and finding their family again

why: it’s told in two diff povs, one of noah in the Past and one of jude in the Present, and i am a Huge Sucker for that shit. noah’s entire sections are such powerful uses of language and when you see what they both turned into in jude’s present perspective it’s amazing. it’s growing up and healing and learning to love your family all over again and it’s amazing

(my tag for it on my blog)

maybe don’t if: mental health stuff, family stuff, mentions of suicide, there’s not a whole lot tho

the proxy series by alex london

summary: proxy is a dystopian story where the main character, syd, is the Chosen One and has to save the world, ft. knox, Rich Boy extraordinaire, and marie the Social Justice Warrior. syd’s super gay and knox is super bi and there are shenaginans. the sequel is after they’ve ~saved the world~ and it’s still sort of a dystopia, and then u meet liam, a bodyguard who is basically a giant puppy and is also Super Gay. oh yeah the dystopia part is that like, the super rich all get the poor “proxy’s” to take their punishment whenever they do something illegal/bad/whatever, and syd is knox’s proxy B)

why: proxy was the first one i read of all these books, i think? i loved it so much. so goddamn much. syd is the most soft most wonderful and knox is an asshole and also Trash Son and MARIE. ugh marie. anyway proxy does such a good job of talking about social issues on a large, well thought about scale. it talks about privilege and how it seeps into everything you do, even if you’re trying to help and have good intentions. also liam is adorable and wonderful and So Pure and you’ll never get to him if u don’t read the first book, so. the WORLD is also so intricately woven and so interesting to think about it feels like it COULD HAPPEN it’s really fun to read through!

(my tag for it on my blog)

maybe don’t if: uhhh, death, torture etc stuff

captive prince trilogy by cs pacat

summary: SHIT OK. um, basically. damen, our protag is the prince of a country that’s just been usurped by his half brother and then he gets sent to that country’s MOST RIVAL country, as a slave to the prince there. plot twist (that’s not rly a plot twist bc u find out in the first chapter i promise this isn’t really a spoiler but if u want u can skip ahead like a sentence anyway): DAMEN KILLED THAT RIVAL PRINCE’S OLDER BROTHER IN A WAR A WHILE AGO. ok potential spoiler over, moving on: the whole series is about them facing off against laurent’s uncle for the right of the throne and there’s a shit ton of political intrigue but a lot of laurent trying to make damen’s life as miserable as possible for a while before they both eventually start warming up to each other and then it turns into the sweetest most affectionate relationship and i want to Die.

why: dude. dude the political intrigue and plot twists in this book are TO DIE FOR. laurent is that character that you HATE SO MUCH at the beginning but then REASONS happen and as damen starts to fall for him you do too and it’s amazing it’s so amazing. their relationship is so pure and it’s SUCH A SLOW BURN. it feels REAL and unhurried and is so so so fun to read through.

(my tag for it on my blog)

maybe don’t if: oh god um, rape (including indirectly laurent to damen), csa, torture, fucking slavery, abuse, a whole fuckton of shit tbh

two last shameless plugs:

dates! an anthology of queer historical fiction by @marginscomics​

dates is a comic book anthology that my friend @zhgilbert​ edited and distributed and i contributed to! it’s full of queer historical fiction of all time periods and spans the entire globe, and has one rule: no one dies. my story for it, if ur interested, is called To War We Go and is about two gay girls finding love and peace in each other during the mahabharatha era of hindu mythology.

the carnalis series by @arcsismedia​

Captive Prince series by C.S. Pacat

Book #1 Captive Prince Book #2 Prince’s Gambit Book #3 Kings Rising: x

Bringing back this bit from Burn the Stage episode 2 because I recently stumbled upon an interesting observation.

During the clip where Jungkook gets tended to by the staff backstage (during the performance, not after), we see Namjoon and Hobi standing around beside him. Some clips before that also showed Jimin peeking in, and later we hear a staff call out to him saying ‘Jimin, let’s go.’ He says something else too but that bit was not translated in the original video.

However, thanks to a K-army’s video (they have their video unlisted so I won’t post either the video or mention their name cause they are a private account) they were able to tell what was said in the background. So when we read the caption “Jimin, let’s go” the staff says in korean: 지민아, 먼저 올라가. 너 먼저 올라가고, 정국이 나중에 올라가 which is translated as: Jimin ah, go up first. You go up first and Jungkookie will come up later. 

I trimmed the audio alone and uploaded a slowed-down version of that part to make out the dialogue better. It’s not perfect, but you can hear bits of the convo. There is a random woman’s voice cutting in between, but if you listen closely you can hear the male staff’s voice say ‘jungkookie…’ right where the woman’s voice fades out. Not all people will catch on to it immediately as you need to know Korean and your ears to be trained for that.

This actually tells us two things for sure:

That Jimin was indeed waiting around (with Namjoon and Hobi but out of focus of the camera) to check on Jungkook.

That Jimin refused to leave Jungkook’s side until the staff reassured him that Jungkook will follow behind.

I’d like to tie this in with the scene after the performance ended in Burn the Stage ep. 3, when Jungkook collapsed and was brought back to the medical room. This scene has already been debated on several times (here’s my own take on it) but let’s look at it with the new info I just shared.

Many mentioned that Jimin staying behind in the medical room is not a big deal but first let’s get some facts straightened out:

You are not allowed to stay behind in a medical room unless you are family or spouse. Those are the concrete rules.

It is not up to the patient or the visitors to decide who gets to stay behind when said patient is being tended to. Especially in an emergency situation such as this one.

With this in mind, there is no way that Jimin would have been allowed to stay back in the room UNLESS it was approved by the medical staff themselves. You can argue saying they needed someone’s help to tend to Jungkook but that argument would be nonsensical since there are already several staff around to do that. Jimin specifically was not needed. Yet, he was allowed to stay.

Tie this in with the above audio clip of the staff having to reassure Jimin firmly that Jungkook will follow behind, for him to leave the younger’s side. Note, they did not say this to Namjoon and Hobi despite them both being there as well.

So what does this say? To me, it speaks volumes about KM’s relationship not just from their own point of view, but from the staff and the rest of the members as well.

We know that Jimin is a perfectionist when it comes to performing on stage. He’s even fainted on stage before, meaning he performed even at his worst and refused to cancel out on the show. So for someone like him to NOT leave Jungkook’s side during a performance tells a lot about Jimin’s emotional state at that time; he could not go out and perform unless he knew that Jungkook was alright. While Namjoon was balancing out his priority between making sure Jungkook was ok and seeing the concert through smoothly, Jimin’s sole focus at that time was Jungkook. And we see the effects of that in the subsequent clips.

This also connects to Jimin barely acknowledging the rest of the members when they came in to check on Jungkook after the show. Jimin was in the room from the start. We also see Jin, and then Namjoon enters the room. Then we see Suga, Hobi and Tae. While leaving, no one batted an eye towards Jimin, as if they were certain that he would stay behind. The staff did not ask him to leave, he did not ask to be allowed to stay. It was an unspoken agreement, which in a hospital, only happens when dealing with family/spouse.

In conclusion, Jimin staying behind was indeed approved by the medical staff. And the above conversation bit further proves that Jimin MEANT TO stay behind.

Another thing to note. Someone mentioned that RM/JH “respected Jungkook’s wishes for them to step outside”. The same person also mentioned that “Jungkook wanted Jimin to stay behind.” This is not true.

Fact is, Jungkook was near unconscious at the time. He did not respond to Jin’s ‘are you ok?’ as he was already on the respirator at that time. (3:35 - 3:38). He also did not respond when Hobi asked ‘do you want us to get out?’ (3:38). Hobi then says ‘it will be easier if they remove his pants. Let’s get out.’ to which Jin replies ‘Yeah’ and they all leave (3:39 - 3:42). Throughout all this, Jungkook was on the respirator. So no, he did not ask anyone to leave or stay, it was an unspoken order by the medical staff that Hobi voiced aloud and the rest of BTS, except Jimin followed through.

Some more points I’d like to touch on. Some argued saying Jimin would do this for any member, but let me remind you, in BV2 when Hobi fell seasick and he was resting, Jimin did not stay behind. He was with the rest of the members. In that situation, there were no medical staff involved, no protocol to follow so Jimin could have easily stayed behind to tend to his hyung if he wanted to, and no one would have batted an eye. However, he and Suga only went to check up on Hobi AFTER they were done with their agenda for the day. Point number one.

Point number two, the whole idea of Jimin being allowed to stay because he’s Jungkook’s “older brother” is utter bullshit. (If you still have that thought in mind, please dispose of it). Social status means nothing in a medical emergency situation. Unless Jimin is Jungkook’s brother BY BLOOD, his social status as Jungkook’s ‘hyung’ will not grant him free pass to stay behind. By that definition, the ones who would be asked to stay would be either Namjoon or Jin or one of their managers instead.

So, a key takeaway from this episode, and this scene in particular is that:

Jimin given equal importance as ‘family/spouse’ in a medical setting means that KM has a special relationship that is acknowledged by the medical team, BH staff and BTS members.

Despite Namjoon and Hobi being on the scene, the staff had to particularly reassure Jimin that Jungkook would be alright, before he agreed to go on stage.

Jimin was trusted enough by the medical staff to move Jungkook’s leg (another thing that only family/spouse is allowed to do. Touching the patient while the doctor is tending to them is a big no otherwise) while he was unconscious.

And let’s not forget, the member dynamics at the end when Jungkook joins them for the group shot; Hobi asking him when he started to feel sick, Jin complimenting him on staying professional throughout, Namjoon saying that Jungkook even rapped with him and of course, Jimin remarking on how he felt really down that day and how Suga’s little bit of impromptu dancing cheered him up, Tae laughing and joking alongside them. This showcases the strong bond that OT7 have as a whole, and also how they were attuned to KM; they were checking up on both Jungkook AND Jimin here.

All of this tells us so much about KM’s relationship and the fact that they chose to share this with us means that they want us to know, to understand. So instead of negating or denying the fact that this was a monumental peek into Jimin and Jungkook’s dynamics, take a step back, clear your biases and watch the video again.