Love Big, Pack Light

My first few days spent in Thailand, I was intrigued by the delicious food, beautiful nature, and fun tourist attractions. But I was soon dragged down from cloud 9 and reality hit me like a truck. One night I, along with a few teammates, walked through the very real world of the red light district in Chiang Mai. The district here consists of alleyways flooded with bars and brothels. This is a hotspot for 70% of the male tourists who venture here to Thailand. As my eyes were opened to old white men sharing conversation and drinks with young southeast Asian girls, possibly the same age as or younger than their own daughters, my heart broke. The facade of beautiful beaches, elephant sanctuaries, and magical waterfalls shattered and the dark side of tourism in Thailand revealed itself to me. My heart hurt as I saw the brokenness in the young girls selling their bodies and in the men who run here to fill the holes in their own heart by buying one of these girls for an hour or two. When I first got here, I was angry at most of the men I saw walking down the street as I assumed the reason they were here, but after my first experience in the red light district, my heart changed for them as I realized how lost and numb they are. The ones I am truly angry at are the bar owners, pimps, and traffickers who supply for the demand for girls, boys, and children. It has opened my eyes greatly and humbled me as we have walked through the bar strip weekly to pray for and build relationships with the girls by playing pool, laughing, and sharing God's redemptive love with them. Last Friday night as we played a game of pool with a few girls who worked in the bars, I got to know a girl named Emily*. She had only worked at the bar for five days. Emily told me she was 20 years old, although she looked much younger. When I asked how she liked Chiang Mai so far, she hesitated, forced a small smile and said, "it's okay." It wasn't long before her boss called her over, put a drink in her hand, and made her sit at a table near the front of the bar and wait for the next customer. I felt so defeated as I realized I wasn't able to do much more for Emily that night. I stood across the street after we left the bar strip and watched as an old white man with a wedding ring on walked in, carefully chose which of the countless bars he wanted to go to, and approached Emily with his hand on her thigh as soon as he reached her. I wish I could say that Emily did not leave the bars with a stranger that night. I wish family patterns that encourage parents to sell their children could be instantly broken. I wish that the enslaved girls, boys, and children who are drugged and locked in a brothel room to be rented by the hour could be freed today. I wish that every traumatic memory of being bought for sex would vanish. And I wish innocence could be restored. I often have to remind myself that there is not a quick fix for this worldwide issue. But I will never say that there is not hope. There is hope in the organization we've been working with that takes in children from hill tribes and loves, houses, and educates them so that they are not sold to traffickers. There is hope in the coffee shop I hang out at that employs beautiful girls who have walked away from the sex trade industry for good. And there is hope in being able to walk through a bar with a friend who used to work there, and see her share God's love and freedom with the girls who continue to sell themselves there. Human trafficking exists everywhere, yes everywhere. And it's time to act and bring change. Sometimes the things God calls us to do aren't easy or fun. I never walk out of the bars feeling satisfied. My heart breaks all over again each time I walk in and stand face to face with these girls who don't see their worth. And God's heart breaks for them even more than anyone else's does. But I know that Christ is working in the hearts of the girls and men here through each team who walks in here to share His redemption and freedom with them. We should never stop pursuing the ones in the darkest places because God never stops pursuing us. *name changed for protection

Cambodia filled me with joy. As we lived at an orphanage and taught English to 25 children for a month, it warmed my heart to see such passion and excitement in each kid as they were eager to learn a new word or phrase each day. Over the course of the month, my heart grew so much for these children. Maybe it was the fact that we were literally with them every hour of every day (there's nothin like waking up to the smile of a child peering at you through a window right above your mosquito net), or maybe it was because each kid there was bursting with compassion, humor, and pure joy. But either way, as I got to know each kid's personality and story, they stole a large piece of my heart. As much as I was filled up with love, I struggled with confusion and anger. My heart hurts when I think about the stories I learned about these children's pasts. They have experienced more war, abuse, and loss at such a young age than most have in their lifetime. I rarely saw a kid cry over a scraped knee or a fall off their bike. They were always crying about a deeper sort of pain. In all of this, I struggled to see the justice of God. God is a god of justice right? So how is it fair that 25 innocent kids ended up in an underfunded orphanage, abandoned by their parents? Why is this their place in the world? Why do people who actually do bad things get away without punishment while the innocent receive no justice? Through all of the injustice within the stories I've heard, and seeing how unjust orphanage systems can be in general, it was a challenge for me to really know if God is a just god. But this is where faith comes in. Faith is the belief in something that we cannot see. I cannot see God but I believe in him. So why would I not have faith in his plans just because I do not know what they are? As human beings, we love to have a logical answer for why things happen. I would give anything to know how this difficult part of these children's stories plays a part in the beautiful plan God has for their lives. I want to skip ahead right now to the part where these kids receive justice. But God is so much bigger than I can comprehend. I might not ever see how His plan plays out for my sisters and brothers in Cambodia, but I have to have the faith to believe that because they know, love, and accept God, he will bring them justice. It was hard for me to be with these kids all the time and not have the power to change the situation they are in. I wasn't able to wrap my mind around how these precious children's parents could look at their faces and make the decision that they no longer wanted them in their life. It breaks my heart to think about that. But though their own parents abandoned them, God still looks at their faces and calls them his children. And God cares for his children. Our last lesson for the kids was the most important one. They learned the phrase "I am", and words like "loved", "smart", "beautiful", "handsome", and "important". Once they were able to really understand what those words meant and accept those things about themselves, the smiles that lit up their faces were incredible. Knowing that about themselves, and believing that God calls them those things too allows them to walk in the freedom that the Lord provides. These children welcomed us with such grace and it was such a gift getting to know their kind souls. Please keep our team in your prayers as we serve at our new ministry in Thailand!

I'm super pumped to have finally made it to Cambodia! After an unexpected 24 hour delay in Malaysia because of a missed flight and a decent amount of sleep deprivation, we were able to step off of the plane healthy and in good spirits. For the next month, my team and I will be working with New Hope for Orphans in the Preah Vihear province of Cambodia. Our hosts welcomed us with open arms as soon as we made it to the airport. The pastor and his wife, our hosts, run the orphanage consisting of 25 children, and they are two of the most gracious, generous, and humble people I have had the pleasure of meeting. This month, our team is living in a room at the orphanage that doubles as a church on Sunday mornings. Sleeping under a mosquito net has taken a bit of getting used to, and it was also a little challenging showing up so exhausted from four days of travel and attempting to sleep on the floor of a room filled with Cambodian heat and bugs. But I came to realize that I am here to serve these children, so I need to set aside my own comfort and experience a slice of how they live their daily lives so that I can better understand and build meaningful relationships with them. For the past few days, we have been spending our time resting off our jet lag getting to to know the kids who live at the orphanage. I absolutely love these boys and girls and have already begun to connect so well with them. It leaves me in awe every day how they show such incredible joy and love for one another. It has really humbled me to see how easily their joy and excitement for life shines, even though they have almost no physical belongings. Christ's love and acceptance shows through these sweet children so clearly. I cannot wait to learn more about each of their stories during my time here. Yesterday, Pastor took us into the village to help with a youth group that he runs weekly for the village children. He has not only dedicated his life to running an orphanage at his home, but is also passionate about seeking out children in the local community and sharing God's word with them. He was able to share with us a little more about his life. Right out of high school, he moved away from his family to plant a church here and eventually house an orphanage. He then took the initiative do what he could to help the local village and had six water pumps drilled into the ground so the village people could have free, easily accessible water to bathe in and use whenever they need to. Pastor walked us to one of the pumps and we were invited to hold a little newborn baby who was getting a bath in the pump. Pastor's compassion and determination to spread God's kingdom is greatly inspiring. I am eager to see what valuable lessons I will learn from Pastor, his family, and these amazing kids during my time here. Today is the first day of teaching English to the children at the orphanage! Prayers are appreciated for my team as we prepare lessons for the month and that we reach the kids we are teaching. The love here is great and all is well!

bummin in the airport

My big adventure began on Thursday! I left my home and said goodbye to my family for the next three months. It was hard to leave, but I was filled with excitement for what was in store. It was sort of weird and uncomfortable sitting alone on the plane knowing that I would be met with strangers at the airport who I would be spending all of my time with during the upcoming months. The discomfort disappeared when I stepped off the plane and met my team. Everyone is so awesome and this is a cool group that I have the chance to be a part of. We spent three days at Adventures In Missions for training camp with a few other teams that are headed to different countries across the globe. Each day was packed with team building activities, good food, sessions to spiritually prepare for our trip, and cultural practice. I learned more about when serving a foreign community is good and will allow them to be self-sufficient, and when helping can hurt the growth of a community and take them a step backwards. I was able to hear about how God has perfectly equipped us to go and serve the nations that need to know about the hope that He can provide. After a fun and empowering weekend in Gainesville, Georgia, I am headed Asia! We are in the midst of traveling right now. My team and I had a good time entertaining ourselves at the Atlanta Airport yesterday for 13 hours before boarding our 14 hour flight to Qatar, followed by a 7 hour flight to Malaysia. One more flight to go and we'll finally be in Cambodia! It has been really cool to see what God has already been doing through my team, and I'm excited to see everything else that will soon happen. We've been having a blast as we slowly make it to the other side of the world. Hoping for smooth travels the rest of the way! Thanks for the many prayers!

I am now two weeks away from leaving the comfort of home to start my adventure in Cambodia and Thailand. The months of waiting flew by and now the time that I have been preparing for is almost here. I’m nervous, but I don’t know what exactly I’m scared for because I really don’t know what to expect. I guess I am anxious of the unknown. But as nervous as I am, I am so ready. I cannot wait to meet the people I will be traveling, serving, and learning with. I’m excited for all the cool things God has planned for me, my team, and the people and places we will be serving. I’m ready to be challenged, uncomfortable, and to love like crazy. Thanks for reading, I can’t wait to update you on my experiences and adventures!