This is Me

So no troupe this season, 13 celebs, 7 men, 6 women.

Y’all……Kiki’s brother has outdone Val’s hotdog eggs…..Bone Apple Teeth!

Is that Doritos?

And.....beefaroni?

Y’all……Kiki’s brother has outdone Val’s hotdog eggs…..Bone Apple Teeth!

Is that Doritos?

Current WTForecast in Reston, VA…it certainly doesn’t even feel that warm!

That’s mine……

DWTS Live Blog Bond Week

Charli and Mark - The eye is creepy af. I hate when the give them youngins Rumba. It’s weird for them. Holy lean lift trick thing! That was amazing! She’s really good! This was my favorite dance of hers. How did I not know she’s a friend of the K Klan?

Cheryl and Louis - Cheryl’s friends with James Bond…..give her credit! Ooooh! That’s a beautiful dress! And a lovely dance! She definitely redeemed herself from last week’s missteps. I loved them singing along.

Trevor and Emma - Emma surfing 😂😂. He’s getting quite confident for the daredevil afraid of dancing. Home dude in troupe fell over half a beat too late 😂. He’s a dark horse…..because he’s good. Gahdam it! I typed that before Derek said it! Now it looks like I stole his line!!!!! I said it first! How cute is his middle school mirrorball

Daniel and Britt (and Gabe) - Britt learning ASL is probably the highlight of the season. Her dress is STUNNING. This was not his best dance but he does a very good Bond. It was still lovely. Abs was very concerned about him saying he wouldn’t be able to feel the music. He did pretty well.

I think Tyra is thinking of the wrong spy…

DWTS S31 E1 Live Blog

Jordin and Brandon - She is precious. Jussayin. Get it girl!!!! She’s pretty good for someone who says she has zero experience. I’m proud of her! Big Papa even liked it! Hooray for skybox!!! How sweet is her Whitney moment.

Sam and Cheryl - Oh my…..he’s stiff in rehearsals. Much better on the floor. This is a nice solid dance for night 1. Kinda like Cheryl’s hair….the blonde is growing on me. (Shai’s gonna turn on that blinking thing and it’s gonna crack me up 😂😂.)

Heidi and Artem - When someone leads the “meet” with “I was a competitive dancer” it usually doesn’t end well. It was good but she looks very timid. Solid week 1 dance but she needs to loosen up. And whoever put her hair in pigtails should be fired!

Daniel and Britt (And Gabe) - How cute is he talking about his favorite song! Kinda love him! She looks like Tinkerbell. Wow! He’s good for someone who can hear the music or audible directions on the dance floor! Total Nyle vibes!

Jessie and Alan - Ok….the no commercials is making live blogging hard! Lawd! I love her and her family! Her kids are so cute! Meanwhile, Abs won’t shut up about how good Alan smells. Her face 😂😂😂. Dial that back sweetheart. Decent dance for week 1. She was definitely frantic and tried too hard to make good facials and it kinda all failed a little 😬. Just bite your lip next time sweetie.

Teresa and Pasha - didn’t pay attention to her package because I was trying to vote. This is Maks and Petas song. Abs said this song should be a quickstep. That was……a dance. 😬😬. A good try for week 1 😬. She’ll do better next week! Hopefully.

Wayne “Man That’s A Good Frame” Brady and Wit - I just realized I did Jessie’s math wrong 🤦🏻‍♀️. Live blogging is hard with no break!!!! Can I get a bumper or something?!?! Jeebus! Awe, Wayne us dancing for his Grammy. Starting with a solo! Ok, Wayne! Damn, he’s a front runner!!!! That was a damn good dance! Like whoa! Take that “Charlie’s gonna win” people! Awe Alfonso made Alfonso 2.0 cry! Love him!!!

Cheryl and Louis - I love when super fans join the show! Love her confidence. Get it, Cheryl! Ooooh! Didn’t see this coming! She’s good! Go Oldie! Show the tweeter and Reddit haters that the Oldies can bring it!!! I’m so impressed with her! She was not on my radar.

Vinny and Koko - I’m so happy for her!!! They are adorable. Their last names are quite the mouthfuls. He’s thinking reeeaaalllly hard. It was a good week 1 effort….much room to grow 😬. (I do believe we’ve lost Shooshie). I’m glad he had fun!

Shangela and Glebby - Abs is SO EXCITED! I kinda love them! If she doesn’t death drop at the end she’s fired. Holy lord this is good!!!!! Even if she didn’t death drop. This is me….rooting for Glebby! Love them!!! Halleloo!!!!

Trevor and Emma - Oh no! His biggest fear is dancing. Bless. He can jump out of a plane but he’s terrified of the funky chicken….Emma “he may faint”. And they gave the man the damn quickstep! Way to conquer your fear my dude!!! That was good!!!!! I’m proud!

Gabby and Val - Love her dress! Definitely not a lemon, sweetheart. I love Val doing a Jive. Those knees! How are we pressed for time with no pee breaks?!?! Very very solid 1st dance! Loved it.

Joseph and Dani - He’s a big dude! He damn near ripped Dani’s arms off at the beginning. He’s surprisingly light on his feet for a week one jive! They were floppy as all hell but he got his knees up. They’re gonna be fun to watch

Jason and Peta - Awe!!!! He brought her flowers! His rehearsal hips are hysterical 😂😂😂. That was decent. Ish. Sigh. I wanted Peta to have a good one. It was ok. Room to grow!

Selma and Sasha - I want her to do so well! MS is a cruel disease. She’s got the best partner for her needs. Wow! She’s doing amazing!!!!! This is great!!!!!! Well done, Selma!! Everyone is crying! What a moment! That was absolutely beautiful. Why are they making her climb to the sky box?!?! Someone get Joseph to carry her. I hope her body allows her to do this season.

Live shot of me every time Selma dances…

This is a damn good cast!!!!!

I’m mostly excited about all the Jersey Shore gifs we can use!!

And when he’s kicked off......

🤣🤣 or if he wins…

This is a damn good cast!!!!!

I’m mostly excited about all the Jersey Shore gifs we can use!!

Something must’ve happened between Val and Jen