I am 34 winters today. How in the fuck?
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸

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@katie91-reads
I am 34 winters today. How in the fuck?

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Doom Slayer dry humping his s/o?
On it Boss đŤĄ
You know since Eternal showed us the gaming pc in his personal room in the Fortress what types of games do you think he plays? I feel like FPS would be the boring expected answer but you know with him doing all sorts of shooting you'd think he'd try to stick to other genres that don't remind him of his actual life? Like what would be stress reliving games to him? Okay semi relevant ramble over.
(Gender neutral reader)
It started out innocent enough, late one evening sat in his desk chair with you on his lap. You two do this quite often as it really relaxes him, he can play his computer games with his arms caged around you and you can sit back with your back to his chest and either watch him play, or read, or do whatever it is you want to - your shoulder providing as a good chin rest so that he can look at his screen.
Down time. Down time was good, even if it doesn't happen often - constant demon slaughter crusade and all. But when it did you both take the time to appreciate it, even in the small ways like this.
The keys gentle click with each tap of his fingers, serving as rhythmic background noise that fills the room, his eyes don't leave the screen in considerated focus to hit each different colored note of the synergizing metal music that played, even softly humming to them every once in a while. You on the other hand laid there, even with the music, nearly falling asleep. Though knowing you don't get moments like this very much you try your best to keep your eyes open - even if sleep softly lulled at the corner of your eyes.
It nearly shakes you out of your skin at first when suddenly a large hand is on your stomach, patting and rubbing at you with silent affirmation; Sleep. I got you.
You feel bad about it a little bit, going on and passing out during your quality time together but it's really easy to win your sleep brain over when your lover so warm and his big, thick, juicy bosom serves as the best pillows - leaning back against him was so comfortable you could go to right there...
...
...
Okay. Almost comfortable.
You been sitting here for about three hours, your ass was a bit numb. Slightly sore. Distractingly so. But you know if you got up to relax it a little Flynn will make you go to bed proper without him and that's no good, lonely, and when pillowy chest is like heaven... no you had to come up with some other substitute.
You shift a bit in your seat and find lifting yourself a couple seconds at a time relives it a little. You try not to move forward too much and block the way of the computer monitor, only just a little bit then readjusting yourself and back just to ease the discomforting tingling feeling. The more you keep on doing it, the more-
The sudden hands that snap on your hips and hold you down nearly send a throaty gasp from your throat. Keeping you still. Suddenly the room felt a lot warmer than it did previously, you slowly look back over your shoulder to find how your lover looks flushed down at you, chest heaving a bit unevenly.
Oh.
Oh.
Doom slayer eating out his s/o?
(Gender neutral reader)
Sparks sprinkle across his face as he mends the iron of his suit, dull green plating glowing with a deep neon orange as it tries melting together with the new - it bubbled a hot metalic liquid with a wafting smell he could tell wouldn't leave him for at least the next couple of days. He lets back with the torch and sits back in his chair to look over his work. The tear was repaired now, or at least it appeared on the surface, he wouldn't know until he puts it on. But now came the next issue, the major issue, the one he'd been dreading.
His bronze colored eyes drift over to the sleeve - or the lack of one, torn completely from the rest of the main suit and sat over on his workbench, clusterfuck of wires remnants in it's place around the shoulder of the suit. If he could fix it would he the determining factor if the Preator Suit could be salvaged.
It's not that he had emotional attachment to the suit, but it was the one gifted to him by the Wretch, the one he wore in Hell for all that time with in that cave with Valen, the one he was stripped of when he came to from the Sarcophagus on Mars, the one he's been wearing in his continued fight since, the one he saved and met you in... it was a good suit, served it's function as armor well. It'd be a shame just to toss it out. He huffs through his nose, taking another look over at it from it's suspension in the air hanging from the work-rack, his studying hands trailing down it with a firm grasp and-
THUNK.
The entire lower half fell off.
He sighs, feeling at his tired face. He'd have to talk to VEGA about crafting a new suit.
Maybe he could have a cloak again? But then he remembers what it was like fighting in Hell's heat with it on and is turned off from the idea, which sucks because cloaks are so cool... anyway even if he manages to salvage it he needs something to work in for the meantime and soon. It's not like he needs armor to fight - he certainly has plenty of times before, given his marine armor had completely gave out when he fought off the invasion of his original earth he did so in tanktop and stupid haircut - but it's both something he prefers and he knows you would absolutely put your foot down as there's no way in hell you'd let him leave so unprotected.
He's a shitty artist, he's aware of that, but he does manage to sketch out a couple ideas on some scavenged notebook paper. He liked the shoulder canon his Sentinel armor had, he put that in there, and glancing at his comics he had an idea of an extendable tonfa blade on his arm he could think a couple good uses for which sounded cool. He made sure it was at least the same similar shape as the Preator Suit for familiarity sake and feeling at the Argent implant at his chest he doesn't forget to doodle a spot commendating for it on the breastplate so VEGA and the suit can sync to his vitals.
...and maybe add short sleeves, let his arms breathe a bit. One thing he didn't like about the Preator Suit is how smothered he'd feel in it sometimes. His Marine uniform was short sleeved, the UAC given uniform post Invasion of Eath was short sleeved, his Sentinel armor was short sleeved - he was used to fighting with short sleeves.
It was getting late and he was finally getting hungry, notebook in hand he finally abandons his desk to make his way to the kitchen.
There wasn't much in the fridge, supplies were running low and he makes a mental note to go on a supply run in the near future - bring you along too, getting you human contact with someone other than himself was important.
"I was wondering when you were finally going to come out of your cave," Speaking of which, he turns to over his shoulder to see you in the archway, teasing smile on your lips. "-I see you found dinner."
He looks to the now half emptied tub of processed alien meat in his hands, looking at it and back to you for a moment before letting out a low hum in favor to keep chewing. He was hungrier than he originally realized.
"What's that?" You question the notebook slab on the countertop.
He swallows. "Suit."
"No hope saving the other one after all?" He hesitantly shakes his head, noting a sadden look on your face as you look at his scrawled sketch. The more you look at it the more genuinely hurt you look.
"...I haven't apologized yet. This is my fault, I got you distracted over coms and-"
"Don't." He bluntly states. You had nothing to do with it, he got himself locked in his own bloodlust and got in over his head, fought an intense battle and manged to win only in scraps. No serious bodily injuries, obviously - besides a few lingering bruises - but his suit took the severe force of the damage to an inoperable state. But you care and worry about him so much and since you were on call as Mission Support you've bared this blame onto yourself, hell positions were reversed and if he were in your shoes he'd do the same.
You don't respond, just continue to stare at the sketch, mind swirling in doubt. He quietly sighs and sets the tuberware back by it's lonesome in sparce shelves and closes the door with a quiet; thunk. He stands tall in front of you, slow hand finding its home to your cheek, you look up at him with dazzling eyes.
"You can help me finish designing it... if you'd like..."
GULP AGAIN does this mean you take request for doom... if so can I get a smut w/ reader fucking Doomslayer on his fur cloak, maybe like by a fireplace? Or something like that LOL
(Holds out glass of water) you're gulping a lot that I think you might need this. Anyway porn time now. And a bit of angst because I can never help myself but there's comfort... smutty comfort but still comfort! ...and maybe a dash of more angst đ¤ then more comfort.
(Gender neutral reader)
It'd become a ritual by this point, late in the night he'd trudge his way through the empty hallways of the Sentinel Barracks to make his way to your quarters. He couldn't sleep, which wasn't exactly an unusual issue as he hasn't had a good night's rest in uncountable amount of years but recently things have been... worse.
He wasn't under Maykr control anymore, hasn't been in weeks, and while he obviously didn't miss it he did appreciate the nights not being left with own thoughts. Under their control he was left with nothing but the rage and hatred but not the reflection of why it is there in the first place but eventually that steel wall blocking that reflection eroded away reminding him of his purpose - that strange symbol on his shield flashing in his mind - being the reason he was able to break free. After that it's been a roller-coaster of events, he's barely been able to be alone clear with his thoughts. Hell he doesn't think he's been alone with them since the Seraphim put him in the machine.
But here he was, at your doorstep like a pathetic puppy. He holds on to his side - the pain of the injury had stopped hurting and has healed over long before but he can't help but to cradle it with scorn, another reminder of what he has failed to protect. But it does throb every now and again.
Every time he gets here he immediately thinks about turning around and going back to his room, scolding himself for wasting your time and ruining your sleep, you're a Captain afterall you have important work to do with the Sentinels, you deserve rest... but a selfish needy part of him desires your warm comfort to ease his mind away. Slowly, his gauntlet clad hand rises up and braps a couple times on the wooden door.
You don't take too long to answer, peeping your head out first before after seeing it's just him opening the door further allowing him to see you and a little bit of the room inside. You were dressed for bed, big baggy tunic that went just about to your knees and thick layered pants for warmth as it was now the winter months, speaking of, there was also a flickering glow behind you that with the opened door made the shadows of you and himself dance in the pitch dark of the hallway from the fireplace behind you - artificial blue flame that despite the cool light it brought was in fact very warm.
He swallows as he stares at you, he came here practically every night yet he always felt need to come up with a different excuse dispite not being able to ever verbally voice them, but it never matters as you're so gentle with him and you grab him by the hand and tug him inside. The door shuts behind him with a soft click, not to wake any of your neighboring officers as he awkwardly reaches up to remove his helmet which you then take from him to gently place it on your desk. While you're over there you go to straighten up some hologramic 'paperwork' that floated above your desk that you flick and scroll through, a task it looks like you were doing before he arrived.
"You know, it'd probably be easier if you just came straight to my room at night instead of your own, you wouldn't have to sneak around - potentially wake Valen, I know he's like a bear when he's woken up." You clearly tease but when you look back at him still in the doorway and had not moved an inch does it drop, you turn back to your reports. "I still don't mind though. Go on and sit down, I'm nearly done."
His footsteps are always heavy, they make a metallic clunk every time he steps, slowly he inches over further into the room to where he is in front of the centerpiece of the whole room, what tied the bedroom part and the office part together at the head of the quarter; the fireplace. He didn't truly notice how cold the rest of the Barracks was until he stood in front of the warmth in comparison, heat licked his skin real nice, it was a tolerable if not enjoyable heat not unbearable and overwhelming like Hell's that he's use to, so nice that he decides to crouch in front of it.
With a waver of your hand the screens flicker away, leaving you to stand there and look over to the man over your shoulder, a look in your eyes he doesn't allow himself to focus on and he forces himself to stop looking at you from the corner of his eye and back on the blue pit in front of him. Not long after he hears you move around the room, gathering the items of 'rite' before kneeling down beside him and placing them in between the two of you on the floor.
Books.
The Argenta language was still so strange to him, due to Samur's... freakiery that he can fluently speak and understand it now and in turn the Maykrs can understand his original language - he stopped questioning the insanity of all of it long time ago - but the written language was... different. Strange symbols and letters so alien to his eye that was all natural to your own, but he supposed it would be the same for you if you saw written English... maybe he should show you sometime, he thinks. But anyway, for these past couple weeks since of Azhrak's invasion had come to an end, to escape the trap of his own thoughts at night you have been giving him private lessons - since you were shocked to learn he wasn't taught.
Doom Guy/Slayer x gnReader
Itâs moments like these you thoroughly enjoy. You're in a comfortable bed, the room is dark, there are no responsibilities that need tending to, nice and comfy. Just you, a comfy bed, and Doom Guy. Yeah- you're still not entirely sure how this happened- but it did.Â
When you first entered and became part of his life, you wondered why he even had a bed in the Doom Fortress. It seemed before that the bed was rarely touched; you were very tempted to check the bed for dust, you didn't. You did- however- run your finger across the dust on the headboard.
The man never seemed to sleep, he always seemed to be on the hunt. Ripping and tearing his way through hellâs legions, like a bloodhound with an unquenchable thirst. As far as you're aware Doom Guy doesn't technically need sleep.Â
As for you, in the last few weeks, you've been growing more comfortable here in the Fortress. This place has started to feel like home, comfortable in ways only home can offer. Where you can be yourself unapologetically. It lets your mind be at ease, relaxed to the point where you have started to sleep in the untouched bed.
But ever since youâve started sleeping in the bed he never used, you've noticed him quietly following along. As in, heâd try, and fail-Â to sneak into bed with you. Itâd sound like a bass drum walking down the hall to the room, and muffled vibrations through the metal floor could be felt as it got closer. Youâd press your face into the pillow trying to ignore everything, the opening of the door, him entering- then the rustle of clothes as he changed into something more appropriate for resting. Most often just a pair of sweats you bought him, no shirt.
He's a furnace enough on his own.
Your hand massages the wide expanse of his back, every now and then putting more pressure into tense areas of his back, trying to work out the tight knots. Occasionally youâd feel a rough patch of skin where scarring has occurred, deep old scars that you avoid dragging your fingers too hard into. Feeling the dip of his spine inclines you to scratch along the slope of it. His back arches beneath your touch, pushing you deeper into the bed. Youâre attempting to get him to unwind further, to get his muscles to loosen up from slaughtering demons for God knows how long. Your hand wanders absentmindedly up his back, fingertips tracing idle circles along the line of his spine, then up to the hair at his nape.Â
His short brown hair is surprisingly soft. Perhaps you should look into the brand of shampoo he uses, you hope it's not one of those three-in-one shampoos. If it is- then you would have to intervene next time he's about to wash up and actually get him into a proper hygiene routine.
Burying your face into his hair, you take a breath and get the faint smell of eucalyptus- and a bit of mint, you hum into him. He definitely had taken a shower before sneaking into bed.Â
Every night he tries to sneak into bed, slowly, in an attempt to try not to wake you. All after finishing up with whatever task he had taken on for the day. It doesn't work though.Â
Youâve become a light sleeper over time, any shift in the bed would wake you and since he started to sleep in the bed with you, it's nearly impossible to sleep without him. So youâd be slipping in and out of consciousness, up until the point he decides to try sneakily joining you in bed. The attempt does amuse you though.
Although mornings are much different, sometimes youâd wake to find that breathing is harder and you're overheating. Blinking away the sleep youâd look around to find Doom Guy completely lying on top of you. His weight is fully over you, like a weighted blanket, his legs are sprawled all over yours and his arms are tucked firmly against your back. Like youâre a life-sized teddy bear for this giant furnace of a man. Youâd be unable to move out from under him until he wakes and moves himself.
You did try once- with a wheeze, you had tried to sneakily crawl out from under him, only for his arms to tighten around you in a vice grip. Holding you still underneath him. Like someone is trying to steal you away instead of you trying to preserve your body temperature and freedom. Chest to chest, youâd hear a grunt and feel it vibrate deep behind his ribs, which is currently crushing yours.
That escape attempt ended fairly quickly.
Your hand runs through his hair to the back of his nape, playing with the short hairs there. Seriously, why is this man's hair so soft?Â
You'd think wearing a helmet all the time would be cause for some damaged hair, maybe some helmet hair- having it be flat pressed up against all that padding and wires inside- but no. When he took it off- his hair would always be fluffy, not messed up in the slightest, it made you kind of jealous.
You run your fingers through his hair, dragging your fingernails lightly over his scalp, which gets you a shiver. So, you keep doing that.
This bed is nice, where you can lie and rest together. Even if you're not sure if he really sleeps. Being able to feel his warmth and the movement of his chest as he breathes relaxes you, you hope it does the same for him, he needs it.
Moments like this- are far in between with him going out to slay demons and you working.
You move a hand down to his back, continuing to massage the muscles there. You feel the Slayer shift, then a hand travels up behind you, his hand slides up and down your back, returning the gesture. It's soft and appreciated, especially from such a man. Dipping your head down, you plant a soft kiss to the top of his head, and his hair tickles your nose. You love that he feels comfortable enough to be gentle with you, well- heâs naturally gentle with humans. This time with him feels extra special because he chooses to let down his walls and rest with you. Even if he doesn't really need sleep. He pulls you impossibly closer into his chest.

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Pt2! Of Doom slayer head cannons NSFW edition
ďżźďżź
⢠Large and very girthy
â˘starts off slow and gentle, he holds back out of fear of hurting his partner
â˘mostly doms and tops, doms and bottoms as well kind vocal, grunts and groans
⢠very rarely submissive but when he is he is very vocal, moans when his partner dominates him
⢠loves it when you call him by his name not his nickname but his real name, Flynn
⢠the god of after care, he would run his partner a hot bath and join them, give them massages and makes them meals and cuddles, if out on the field he would clean his partner up with wet wipes/￟baby wipes
⢠very handsy and love fore play. Ass, thighs, brest (if his partner has any) he loves grabbing and fondling around
⢠oral, he loves to go down on his partner and loved it when his partner goes down on him
⢠loved picking up his partner and fucking them especially against a wall
⢠praise, he loves getting and giving praise
⢠possessive, but not like in a crazy jealous type way. But he will make it clear that his partner belongs to him and will protect them from anything
⢠marking, he will leave his partnerâs neck, chest, and thighs covered in hickys
⢠he listens to his partner, if they say no, he will respect them and not bother them about it, he respects consent and his partner decisions and they do the same because consent is the most import thing when it comes to sex and also respect ￟￟
đđ¨đ¨đŚđŹđĽđđ˛đđŤ đđđđđđđ§đ¨đ§đŹ
âA Headcannon for the Slayer as his new game comes out.â - Ichor
Summary - âSmut & Normal headcanons for the Scourge of Hell.â
âDOOM: The Dark Ages came out! :D So, these are HeadCannons for Doom Eternal.â - Edit
TW // Smut.
|°đđđ¤đĽđđŁđđđ¤đĽÂ°|
đđĄđđŤđđđđđŤ: đđ¨đ¨đŚđ đŽđ˛
"The mark of the Doom Slayer was burned upon his crypt, a warning to all of Hell that the terror within must never be freed. There he lies still, and ever more, in silent suffering." - Slayer's Testament
I love this page so much! The blood on the chains, the reaching hands.
Oh he inherited his dad's teeth
Let Go
Dungeon Crawler Carl x Reader
Rating: Smut
WC: 1.2k
Blurb: Where you and Carl just need to let go for the night.
Minor spoilers for book 6 and 7.
Strings Attached
Dungeon Crawler Carl Mordecai x Reader
Rating: 18+ SMUTTTTT (and a whole lot of backstory)
WC: 5kish
BOOK 2 SPOILERS!!!!
Sorry for the wait, everyone!!! I love you all thanks for the patience!!!
Blurb: Incubus Mordecai and Reader fuck. Thatâs it. Well, not reallyâI took a lot of creative liberty with this one SORRY ITâS SO LONG. I had so much fun writing Mordecai, that I genuinely couldn't stop.
Three hundred years of strings, and she never noticed they all led to the same place.
A reimagining of Mordecai reappearing after the "I was going to fuck a grandma" scene.

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itch - dcc carl x reader
a chance encounter leaves you and carl with a 'nasty' debuff. takes place during part I of bedlam bride.
pairing: carl x fem!reader (slight use of Y/N sorry)
rating: 18+ (extremely horny, 5 peppers teehee)
word count: 4.1k
author's note: i told you all sex pollen was coming. i hope you prepared yourselves. @cmonmoony this is for you :P
Have I read this before? Yes. Am I reading it again? Also yes.
A breath of fresh smoke
Carl finds you sitting in a dark corner of the Desperado Club holding something he's been craving for a very long time.
Pairing: Carl x fem reader
WC: 2.2k
Rating: 18+
A/n: My first fic, be kind cruel world. I have been a consumer of fanfic for years now, but never brave enough to post my own. Sorry if it sucks or makes no sense, the Carl x reader universe is just so Bare and I wanted to try to contribute for those who are obsessed with him (Me). I am trying really hard to not cringe out and delete this by reminding myself that this is just tumblr and who cares if my writing is ass. Anyways, enjoy Carl being a freak in the Desperado club.
Hey this is SO hot
guys im genuinely so unwell over carl.
like. Come on. 6â3â muscles mcgee over here rolls up with a cute cat on his shoulder?? And his pockets full of bombs intended for rich powerful assholes??? And a canonically thick ass?? and youâre gonna tell me you WOULDNT risk it all for him?? Donât fucking lie to me.
I know his dick is big I literally know it in my bones. I also know that he eats pussy like heâs starving and WILL pull your hair if you ask him nicely. These are things that I know.
Heâd 100% be the kinda guy who needed some way to unwind after a long ass day of explosions and chaos and helping as many people as possible with increasingly complex tasks. His 2 favorite ways are:
-curling up with his head on your shoulder and Donut on his chest while you rake your nails through his hair until he falls asleep
-absolutely railing you within an inch of your life and making you cum 45 times in a row while he tells you how pretty you are and uses your body like a stress toy.
Cold Water
DCC Carl x Reader
Rating: Smut
WC:Â 1.3k
Blurb: Carl jacks off to the thought of Reader (and feels guilty about it).
YEAAAAAHH BABY
Why you should read dungeon crawler Carl
Have you ever wanted to read a book that asks the question âWhat if an emotionally constipated ex military man became a reluctant cat dad to his now ex girlfriendâs prize winning Persian show cat. And what if those two were outside right as the earth got hitchhikerâs guide to the galaxyâd, only to be told that if an earthling won murder death game show, DnD edition, they would get the mineral rights to their planet back. The cat then gets the ability to talk. She is very much still a catâ
Out of context spoilers to convince you

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Even when I write Salamanders I can't help but throw in a necron 𤣠But now that it's the new year I can reveal my Sanguinalia gift to Magistra on AO3! I've been wanting to write a Pariah Nexus follow up for a while, and I had a lot of fun with Sa'kan and all his angst (and his new sassy traveling companion)
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Sa'kan's Priest
So I just had to write this after I found out that the Salamanders had this special chapter serf who is known as a brander-priest, who marks the Salamander whenever he leaves, and when he returns. And as Sa'kan has like no stories writing about him.. I had to! Cw: mentions of branding, otherwise fluff (I hope) You never regretted choosing to stay with the Salamanders after your lord saved you, he pulled you from your dying world surrounded by fire and death. And he gave you a new life, sure it was not easy at first, so many new things to learn nevertheless you shall also not regret becoming his brander-priest. Even now knowing exactly what horrors he faced whenever he leaves with his chapter and brothers. You much rather be able to give the respite of coming back - to someone he can be sure is here.
As you prepare the camber, you think back to what your angel has told you of the past mission he went to. How many were lost and yet he still made it out alive, vile beasts he and his brothers fight to keep the rest of you safe. You watch as the flames flare around the hot iron, nearly ready to place another brand. You turn as you hear the door open and your Lord enters, Saâkan will leave soon. Not yet clad in his armor, he reaches out to you with his fingers brushing the side of your head. âAlready a place in mind for this one?â He asks, his voice as soft as the touch he gave to you. âI thought to put it between your shoulder blades, to guard your back.â He gave you a small smile, nodded and turned to stand before the heating metal. âIt is nearly timeâ The words of the Promethean Cult now fall easily from your lips, as you lift the now glowing branding tool leaving its mark on your Salamanders skin. It slots in perfectly next to all his others, never overlapping, never the same. No sound leaves Saâkanâs lips as the flesh beneath the metal smolders, as you lift it away and say the protective words your lips touch the burned area. Your Salamander takes a deep breath, while you continue the rights knowing of their importance. In the newfound silence Saâkan turns to you, once more his hand lifts brushing against your temple. You know what he means with no words spoken, he will return if he is able to. As you watch him leave you know that it may be the time you see him alive, but when he does return he shall tell you what happened as you place his return mark on his chest. And after, he may celebrate the victory with you in private. Off he goes, into the fires of battle, unto the anvil of war. You pray that he will return from Paradyce fast and whole again..