Idk.

I feel like I will never have a boyfriend and the question is do I put my energy into accepting that or do I try to find a partner.

It just feels so useless.

Maybe I’m meant to be alone.

I don’t want to be but I just don’t think it’s gonna happen for me.

And you were never taught to care about yourself.

Here I am still trying to make excuses for you.

And you’re waking up next to someone else.

You’re fine.

You’re probably happy that I’m gone.

But you’ve always been waking up next to someone else. And I’ve always just been there and now all I’m left with is the fact that I wasted all this time and emotion.

And it’s my fault because I’m crazy.

And I can’t stop feeling.

And I’m so sad my heart lives in my stomach and I just feel that way all the time now.

When does this stop.

Why do you get to be happy.

When will I get to be the lucky one.

Why wasn’t I ever good enough.

It sucks to be crazy.

Maybe if I wasn’t this wouldn’t be so bad.

You always joked about us getting married.

How fucking dare you.

Why am I still here.