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Curses! Another miss!

No matter, yesterday was a good day. While knee pain may have kept me out of roller derby, it did not stop me from going back to my burlesque troupe rehearsal for the first time after a two-month hiatus. I was greeted at the door with a loud cheer, and everybody in the room rushed to pile into a giant, half-dressed group hug. Sometimes my life is pretty fantastic.

I watched the troupe rehearse three group numbers for upcoming shows. The first was one I had been a part of the first time we performed it, and it made me a little sad to see that someone new was dancing in my spot. However, it was a great stress relief to know that my absence wasn’t disappointing anyone. The two new numbers both look stunning, and I’m excited to see them come together.

After rehearsal, many of us went to a benefit show where two members were performing. The show was full of fabulous solo burlesque and fire acts from all of the major troupes in the city, and I was reminded of why I started performing a little over a year ago. I saw so many body types and so many performance styles that it made me wonder what I was ever so nervous about. I also got some praise from the husband of one of my favorite producers regarding my Godzilla act. Even though I think it’s a mess and I’m certain everyone is bored with it, he said it’s a great act and they’re inviting me to perform in March’s Best Of show.

I missed yesterday due to illness. The boy was quite good to me, and skipped our evening plans to veg out in front of Deadwood and The Wire. I sipped chicken broth and Mexican-real-sugar Sprite, and was very appreciative of his flexibility in the matter. Especially when I passed out at 9:30pm.

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I've started taking prenatal vitamins. For vanity, not for childbearing. Obviously. I just want amazing hair and nails, and extra B vitamins can't hurt. It's also possible that the extra iron will help with... well, whatever iron is supposed to do for me. I'll look it up.

I have one close friend who is pregnant right now, and one of her most obvious awesome qualities is a head of hair with the volume and proportions usually found on animated heroines. The thought of her taking any sort of supplement reputed to stimulate hair growth makes me giggle. Even better than the hair, however, is the amazingly kind and generous person underneath it. If the way that she treats her friends is any indication, her child will be one of the luckiest and best loved little humans around. 

And s/he will get to amaze all the other little kids by having a mom who looks like a Disney princess!

Some of them live in my real world, too. One has plans to visit me this year, one was just in town for the weekend. More than a few remained in my life for years, many have become close friends. Some have such a strong pull that pure friendship is impossible. 

My friends and I like to joke around the question of our past exploits by asking, "If you had to transport everyone you've ever been with in the same vehicle, what mode of transportation would be most appropriate to fit them?" The follow-up usually involves speculation on whether they would get along, what they would talk about, what the average attractiveness level would be, what they might listen to along the way.

This morning, I went to the first roller derby practice of the 2013 travel season. It was hard, and there were times when my lack of conditioning became readily apparent. There were also times when I fought hard to make something magical happen. After the 2-hour practice, I wasn't ready to go home. 

So I didn't.

I stuck around for practice with the men's league, and I like to think that I made some good things happen there as well. My legs were tired and aching by the time I left, and it felt amazing.

Today, I'm in a good place to really appreciate the effect that 7+ years of skating has had on my body. I am incredibly strong, even after the Great Slack of 2012. I know things about balance and weight distribution and momentum that blow my mind, and I am constantly adding new tricks to my arsenal as the game evolves. 

My scarf smells of campfire.

I didn't want to go out tonight, but friends were having a birthday celebration, and it was the right thing to do. I'm glad I went, because despite my initial awkwardness, I got to have great conversations with some of my favorite derby people. There was chatter and hugging and raucous laughter inside the bar, and catching up with old friends around the fire pit outside.

In the past few months, I've been exploring the world of perfume, and it's added lovely dimension to my everyday life. This morning, I forgot to put anything on. I may have caught a whiff of fragrance on my scarf, but I really did feel like I missed one tiny opportunity to do something nice for myself.

The boy and I went out after work for Korean gogi bowls and a movie. I am typing this from his home, where I keep a single tiny bottle of perfume. It was an impulse buy, and while I was not a huge fan at first, I realize that I associate that particular scent with getting ready while at his home. Of course it was the first thing I reached for when getting into pajamas!

Tonight, I went to roller derby practice and stopped by my mom's house to return a library book and chat. I'm pretty pleased with both of those parts of my life, but tonight I'm out of words for big picture gratitude.

When I came home, I found that my roommate-from-Alaska returned from her Christmas trip with a freezer full of salmon. I had a piece of smoked salmon for dinner and it was delightful. 

The last few months of 2012 were a little rocky, despite it being a pretty fantastic year overall: I started and sustained a healthy, adult relationship; I found a new job that is a much better use of my skill set; and despite a disappointing finale, my best friends and I had a wildly successful roller derby season.

Through each success, however, there was always something that kept me from fully appreciating the moment. Sometimes it was legitimate, but I let little concerns interfere my enjoyment of the big wins far more frequently that I’d have liked.

In 2013, I’m conducting an experiment in gratitude. Each day (and I know I missed yesterday; I think the gods of little resolutions can forgive me!), I plan to post something that I am grateful for, in the hopes that making a daily effort to recognize my blessings will make me a happier person moving forward.