mumbfounded

It’s easy to say that gratitude is the secret to happiness. But I came to a realization that being grateful is something easy to declare and profess. The ultimate question is, “How deeply do you mean it?”  

Without mindfulness, we can be trapped into thinking that we are already grateful just by saying “thank you” followed by the list of persons, things, events, dreams, aspirations, memories, among other objects and subjects that fill our gratitude litany. Although such gratitude practice is quite powerful as it helps set the course of your day and gets you in a more empowered and resourceful state, we are reminded to look deep within if we really feel the abundance and the warmth of God’s love, and with this, the faith and confidence as we go about each day, each moment.

I say this because as a mother, wife, teacher, student, friend, sister, Filipino, among other roles that I take on, it is rather easy to become off track despite the gratitude practices I strive to keep. Imagine yourself aboard a ship of gratitude, and inside that ship, you feel alive, happy, supported, and loved. Although you have an awareness that God is at the helm of your ship, you sometimes lose that sense of confidence and certainty when the tides become stronger and the waves come crashing down on you. At that moment, you take the helm, trying to figure out what to do. You become focused on using your human capacities just to survive. At that moment too, your gratitude litany gets drowned out by the echoes of the present tribulation and uncertainties. What happens? You react out of fear and the supportive state you were in while doing your gratitude practice is no longer there.

This brings to mind the image of Moses as he doubted and even questioned God as to why He allows trouble to come to the people. Yet, in the end, it is through God’s mighty hand that the people were delivered from evil and afflictions. 

We learn best through authentic experiences.

This is exactly what happened in the AgriBizQuest 2018 at the University of Negros Occidental-Recoletos in Bacolod City.

AGRIBIZQUEST (ABQ) is a game which simulates the life of a UNO-R Agribusiness Student. This is situated at the UNO-R AGRIPRENEURSHIP INNOVATION HUB, a fictional facility that is the learning lab of the UNO-R Agribusiness students where they attend classes, conduct experiments, design prototypes, and simulate market conditions. The Innovation Hub is built for experiential and immersive education where students become industry-immersed, job-ready, technologically competent, and knowledgeable in agri-entrepreneurship. 

High school students from all over Negros had a chance to play AGRIBIZQUEST during the 1st UNO-R AgriBusiness Summit. The game serves as an education and marketing tool for prospective students to:

experience what it is like to become an Agripreneur Student at UNO-R;

appreciate agripreneurship as a course and as a career, and; 

realize the potential of agripreneurship in Philippine development. 

Forming groups of 10, players explored the Innovation hub and searched for “QR codes” which served as instructions for tasks they needed to finish along this quest. Each task earned them a token. Each time a task is finished, they had their works checked by UNO-R student-actors. The objective is to collect 30 tokens for a chance to get a key that opens a secret room called the "Mainframe." The main goal is to access the Mainframe, where they solve a puzzle and make sense of the entire gamified experience. Special prizes were given to the winners.

Here’s a rundown of the game zones, and a brief description of the challenges the students experienced in the game.

  The game is a resounding success so much so that students were asking for another round! They were highly engaged in the process, and their creativity and strategy really came to the fore. In the end, they joyfully declared that they look forward to the next AgriBizQuest!

Sorosoro Springs is a hidden treasure in Sitio Silangan, Sorosoro Ibaba, Batangas City. It is a resort and adventure park that has well-maintained facilities, a variety of swimming pool sizes, a monkey trail, and an air bike adventure. I was amazed to know that the resort is owned by a cooperative! Never thought that a collective ownership model will work this well! :)

Rule every Valentine’s is to avoid celebrating it on the 14th lest you want to be one of those struggling to find restaurant seats and hotel bookings. So, this Heart’s Month, we thought of celebrating it in a totally different way. By joining an All Single and Available Party! Haha! 

Having been married for 8 years already, this is certainly a far cry from our past Valentine’s. We’ve tried romantic dinners, family getaways, even the “no-celebration-celebration.” And so far, this, I think, is the most memorable.

We took the Batangas City exit of the Star Tollway. It took us barely an hour from Calamba to reach the venue. Sorosoro Springs dubbed itself a resort and adventure park. But it is more than that! 

I thought that the night would be just like any other night. But when we entered the venue, I was surprised with the setup! Memories of our high school foundation week instantly played in my mind. There was the marriage booth. I remember my junior year where I was asked by the campus heartthrob for my hand in marriage. And the moment seemed forever. Staring into each other’s eyes, holding each other’s hands fleetingly, yet enough to make the sparks surge from all over your body. And wearing the souvenir ring like a promise of forever. Hahaha! How naïve. How sweet. NOTE: Apologies to my husband. That was the high school kilig. The cuteness of it all is what makes me smile.  Last night in Sorosoro, witnessing lovers take their vows in make-believe marriages is definitely a treat for me! 

Then, there’s the jail booth! As the DJ announced that all those wearing stripes will be jailed, people ran and tried to evade the law. There was even a guy who ran so fast that it took two ‘police officers’ to catch him. Then straight to the jail he went. Funny thing is the one manning the jail booth looks like the stereotypical warden – tattoed and big bodied. But his red fiery hair stands out. The hulihan episode made everyone laugh and feeling cautious, at the same time. For if you get caught, your friends have to bail you out for 20 pesos. Fair enough, I guess! The single guys and ladies can actually just stay in the jail booth, and chat with their inmates. Who knows, your soulmate might be one of them. 

The other booth is wittingly called “can-shoot-an.” The DJ jokingly said newly-weds can immediately proceed here. Haha! But it actually is just a shooting game. The goal is to shoot the pingpong balls into the cans from a fair distance. For a 20 peso ticket, you get the chance to win free pass to Sorosoro Springs with your barkada. Sounds like a good deal to me! Just needs to practice my canshootan skills because my aim is not that good yet. Hahaha! Finally, there’s the dedication booth! Dedication messages may be cheesy, but that’s what love does. And funny thing is, everyone stops chatting and dancing when the DJ reads one dedication after another. This proves that messages of love are indeed universal. 

At my age, I never thought that I would relive my high school fair in an all singles and available party on a Heart’s Month! 

The well-organized events at Sorosoro Springs gave me a chance to remember how it is to fall in love. The kilig, the fun, the chasing and the pakiramdaman. The small talks while leaning close to the person’s ear. I then realized that the loud music in singles party is designed to make one forget about his/her concept of personal space. You lose your inhibitions and let down your guard. For a chance to open your heart and eventually, bare your soul to the person you will be willing to spend the rest of your life with. Naks. 

The night began with raving music, and the youth never skipped a beat dancing and partying. But as the night grew deeper, and the chance for slow dance came, couples serenely danced to the music. It’s as if the wandering souls rested for a while. And with a growing awareness of each other’s heartbeat, they started dancing as one. 

When my daughter was four, she once beamingly declared she wanted to be a dentist. Perhaps, she was inspired by her aunt who is a tooth doctor. Three years after, she has a new answer to the same question. And this time it’s different. In her own words, “I want to be an adventurer!”

Now, why am I happy with this?

The manner by which she declared her newfound dream spoke of confidence and sheer honesty. She looked so light, as if her spirit is soaring. And this happened three months after our bold move to homeschool her. I have been a happy witness to how she adjusted really well to the new setup. When she attended a traditional school (equivalent to hours spent in the classroom, a dozen books, more than a dozen notebooks, a stroller bag big enough to fit a small kid inside, and a standard curriculum, of course), I noticed her innate creativity slowly slipping away.

Incident 1: She went home one day carrying a poem that she has to recite in front of the class. I asked her if she understands what the poem means, and she said what matters is she does not commit a mistake. And on the night before the dreaded recitation, I noticed her breath getting heavier as she tried to finish the poem while rehearsing. At that point, my heart ached and all I could do was to hug her and tell her she does not need to worry because everything will turn out fine. And all I could do was to feign strength.

My thoughts: Children should not fear mistakes! And a child as young as seven should not be subjected to such nerve-wracking experiences as reciting alone without any room for mistakes. In case she stammers or fidgets, and the rest of the class laughs, she might grow up with a disdain or fear of public speaking! I am not a child psychology major, but I know from experience that being made to recite in front of the class while the teacher looks at you holding her record book and a pen isn’t a nice experience. Far from it!

Incident 2: Being a naturally intelligent child, she became an honor student. Now this might seem to be legitimate reason to celebrate and therefore assume that my child is getting the most out of the education system. But I feel something is amiss. We were looking at the Honors list posted on the bulletin board for everyone to see, and I heard my child say “My friend is not an Honor student. He usually finishes last to copy teacher’s notes on the board.” I sensed two things from her reaction: one is sadness for her friend, and the other seems to be pride for her achievement.

My thoughts: Children should not experience learning as a competitive activity! The word “school” actually came from the Greek root which means “leisure.” In a highly competitive structure, leisure is undermined and learning becomes extrinsically motivated. Certainly, achievement should not be predicated on who gets to finish tasks first or last, who scores higher or lower, or whose names make it to the Honors list. Grades are not guaranteed tickets to success and diplomas definitely not the key to a happy life. I would rather see my child creative in her play, respectful and considerate of others, and confident of who she is.

As school age children grow older, they bring this misconception that learning means being good in literacy and numeracy – which is sadly, the focus of mainstream education. Abilities in other intelligences such as in music, art, dance, theater, reflection, just to name a few, are not rewarded as much. This may also explain the massive explosion of the grade-conscious populace who exhibit symptoms that aren’t healthy anymore. They get depressed when they score low, and get overstimulated when they fare high. They are keen on asking their classmates how they did in an exam, and end up comparing their own performance with those of others. They gauge their overall worth based on their GWA! There is nothing wrong with being grade conscious if that means being conscientious. Unfortunately, this attitude has its perverse side – that which borders on obsession.

Children should not be burdened with passing or failing marks! They should be experiencing the world, and witnessing how wonderful everything is interconnected.

Evidence 3: In her Math exam sheet, I saw this equation: 9-2 = 7. Two is called the __________.

My thoughts: How can she appreciate the world of numbers by being taught definitions and concepts that she cannot relate to? Students are bombarded with similar lessons year in and year out, yet we wonder why they are still not competent when they reach high school or college. I deduced the answer when we were reviewing how to convert Arabic to Roman numerals. It was a battle that tested our will, patience, and endurance. But later I realized, the painful process of reviewing for her tests was futile. She found the specific Math lesson difficult because she has not fully understood place values yet. I realized I am asking too much from a child who was simply made a “receptacle of knowledge,” instead of an active, engaged learner.

Since school follows a standard curriculum with a prescribed number of days, teachers move to the next lesson even if children do not show ownership of learning yet. And this one-size-fits-all approach fail to consider the unique learning styles, the developmental stages, the multiple intelligences, and verily – the heart and soul of the child.

And when a child becomes frustrated, he becomes tired and withdrawn from learning. True enough, when my daughter goes home from school, she attempts to work on her assignment, but falls asleep soon after.

These are the reasons why we started homeschooling. And so far, I love how my daughter turned from exhausted to excited, from weariness to wonder, from bored to buoyant, from competitive to cooperative, from fear to fun!

Let me go back to her dream of becoming an adventurer. I am happy because she did not feel the need to fit in adults’ expectations of her. She was so happy she did not consider whether anyone in the family is an adventurer or what pay grade that career (if you can call it one!) falls under. Her choice itself is so open-ended that you will not find that in the classified ads. It is just a state of being. My heart is beaming with joy because my child is genuinely happy in being, and not pressured into doing.

Because I believe the becoming and the doing will naturally come. Last night, my daughter cheerfully told me she is writing a book about her adventures and as I caught a glimpse of her notebook, I saw several three-page stories.

I now know what natural high feels like. Heart afloat, senses alive and pulsating, happiness radiating from within. Suddenly, the clouds seem to talk to you and say “We got you covered.” The sun seems to say “I love making you warm and comfy.” The leaves and the flowers are cheering me to seize the day and make it the best ever. Every butterfly that I see fluttering outside sends an important lesson on the interrelatedness of God’s creations. And the empty spot where I once decided to purge the bees (out of ignorance that they might sting my babies) gives me a hollow dent in my heart and a searing pain deep in my belly. My entire being is engulfed with guilt and shame. Guilt because I myself annihilated a species, and that is unforgivable. Shame because how dare I think that the bees will hurt us when all our lives, humans have been hurting, abusing, and misusing the flora and the fauna, the mammalia and the reptilia, the two- and the four-legged animals, the ferns and the bushes, the mountains and the oceans – each one, necessary for the balance of life. How dare I. How dare I. All I can do now is cry and repent and most importantly – ACT.

1. Mommy Kate tells the legend of Mount Mayon to Kahla.

    Kate: ...ayun, tapos, kung san namatay si Daragang Magayon, may umusbong na lupa, lumaki ng lumaki, hanggang sa naging bundok..

    Kahla suddenly interrupts me saying, "teka, teka.. eh sinong namatay sa Bundok Maculot???!

(Maculot is the mountain in our native town, Cuenca, Batangas. 

    Kate: ...Wala.. walang namatay dun. Iba naman ang alamat nun e!

    Kahla: ah alam ko na, namatay dun yung manliligaw ni Magayon na kulot. 

     (ahahahaha! valid naman ang inference na yun, di ba?)

  2. Kahla tries out her newly acquired reading skill.. But becomes too confident. 

    Kahla: Mommy oh, ang basa diyan..Boracay Gems!

    (The sign actually says "Broadway Gems."

   (pwede na sana eh!!! hehehe)

  3. Tita Anne uncovers an old and no-longer-functioning stethoscope from the closet.

    Kahla uses it as props and plays doctor.

    Kate: O, ano? May sakit ba si Avi?

    Kahla: Yes, misis. Meron po syang high blood. (waaah! baby, may high blood! porket mataba?!)

    Tita Ancy: Eh ako, doc. Anong kondisyon ko?

    Kahla: Ikaw..wala lang. sakit lang. (hm, buti naman!)

    Lola Cecing: Ako naman Doc Kahla. (Nag-inhale-exhale pa si mama, tapos...)

    Kahla: Ikaw..malapit na mamatay.

    Lola Cecing: SUPLA!!!!

      (bad ka, Kahla!!!! Kaya pala bumili ka pa multi-colored candles para sa undas ha!!)

  4. Isang umaga, bagong gising si Kahla at Tanta at Mommy Kate..

     Si Kahla, pinakakatitigan si Tanta, sabay sambulat...

     Kahla: Mommy, pano ko naging kapatid yan? Baket naka-spread ang nose?

     Mommy Kate: waah! ano ba ibig sabihin ng spread?

     Kahla: naka-flat.

        (hay, laiterang bata! consistent sa pagiging laitera! scary!!!)

  1) Habang nasa byahe,

Kate: Kahla, ang ganda ng ulap no?

Kahla: Opo, parang bulak.. Yan ba yung bulak na pinangwa-wash ni Mama Mary kay baby Jesus pag pumu-poo?

  (me ganon?! panalo ang analogy, di ba?!)

  2) Habang naglalaro ng parlor-parloran with our neighbor, Chat..

Kahla: Chat, anong gusto mong ayos, yung medyo maganda o panget?

Chat: Yung medyo maganda na lang..

  (good choice!! Hehe)

    3) Kahla: Si Daddy parang truck..

     Kate: Baket?

     Kahla: En kasi ang laki nya eh!

     Kate: Eh si mommy, parang ano?

     Kahla: Bike

     Kate: Eh nung buntis pa?

     Kahla: Truck din.. pero pink!

  (hmmm… truck ng MMDA???!)

  4) Habang bored at naghihintay sa loob ng van..

     Kahla at Eunice: Lola, palagyan kami lipstick

     Lola Cecing: Sige, konti lang ha. Pang-matanda ‘to.

     After putting on the lipstick..

     Kahla: Hey girl, halika nga dito, girl..ang ganda natin no?!

  (Aba! At nag-iba na ang tawag sa pinsan nya! Sudden transform into a dalaga! J)

  5) continuation eto nung no.2

Kahla: Hay, napagod ako kakalaro!

Mommy Kate: Anong nilaro nyo?

Kahla: Panget-pangetan

Mommy Kate: Huh? Pano yun?

Kahla: Ako ang maganda..tapos si Chat ang panget kunwari.

  (Masama ang laitera, anak!!!)

  6) Ilang halimbawa ng walang katapusang “Bakit” na mga tanong ni Kahla:

                Bakit walang kulay ang tubig?

                Bakit pwedeng idura ang laway?

                Bakit may pakpak yung heart sa CinemaOne?

                Bakit bayolente si Tita Tricia?

                Bakit ayaw maubos ng bubble gum?

1. isang lunes, kakasikat pa lamang ng araw at bagong gising ang munting bata..tumunog ang papalapit na truck ng basura..

kahla dali-daling binuksan ang screen door, sumilip, at tinanaw ang truck ng basura, sabay sabi: "basurero, ewwww!"

gusto kong isipin na ang tinutukoy nyang ewwww ay ang basura, hindi ang basurero. wag kang elitista, anak!

  2. si kahla manonood ng Huwan Tamad (play na dinirek ni daddy gian..a must-watch!) with her Lola Beth..

kahla: meron na po akong baon dito ha.. kayo na lang bumili ng baon nyo..

hmm, prepared sya! in fairness! hehe. yun lang, may pagka-bossy!

  3. si kahla, pinapaliguan ko..

mommy kate: tumingala ka, anak.. wash ko yang hair mo..para hindi pumasok sa mata yung bubbles..

kahla habang nakatingala : walang himala! (mala-nora aunor na tono ha!)

mommy kate: aba, san mo naman narinig yan aber?!

kahla: sa cinema one po..

hmm, again.. the influence of mass media. bow.

  4. si kahla tinuturuan tungkol sa healthy food versus junk food

mommy kate: ano nga ulit ang mga healthy foods?

kahla: uhm, rice, chicken, fish, gulay, fruits, biscuits..., at young pork tocino! masarap yun!

patay na!!!

  5. kahla: mommy, mommy.. apat ang pangarap ko..

mommy kate: wow, talaga?! ano ano yun?

kahla: uhm, doctor..teacher...singer.. and dancer!

mommy kate: andami naman!

kahla: bakit, di ba pwede yun?!

may point ka anak.. pwede naman actually! you actually reminded me to continue dreaming and be bolder despite the roles i have now. thank you anak!

  6. kahla pilit na pinapatulog ni lola cecing isang tanghali..

lola: kahla, matulog na.. tingnan mo si lola, patulog na din..

kahla: lola, di po ako inaantok! kasi pag bata pa, hindi madali makatulog.. pag matanda po, antukin..kaya, hindi pa po ako tutulog..bata pa ko eh..

yun oh, muntikan na ma-convince ang lola! hahaha!

  7. si baby sister tanta, wala gusto samahan kundi ang lolo nick nya.. may comment tuloy ang kahla..

kahla: gusto yata ni tanta yung amoy yosi, no?

nice observation anak.. as young as you are, you can already formulate a hypothesis. good job! :)

  8. birthday ni lola cecing at may surprise munting handa ang mga little apo's

kate: o mga kids, practice nyo na kantahin yung happy birthday. pagdating natin sa house, sabay kanta ha!

ezra, eunice, kahla : singing happy birthday lola

eh sumabay si tita tricia nila sa pagkanta..

kahla: teka, ba't ka kumakanta happy birthday lola.. hindi mo naman lola yun ah.. di ba mommy mo yun?

tricia: baket, masama ba?!

1) Daddy Gian: Kahla, wag ka bababa dito. Malamok!

    Kahla: Ah.. eh, bakit ka anjan?

  2) Mommy Kate: Anak, tingan mo tong picture, ang ganda ng lines.. pati yung colors, nice.. ang ganda nung...

    Kahla: Ah, mommy, maganda yung design..

    (pakahirap pa ko explain, alam pala yung salitang "design!" lech!

  3) Lola Cecing: Kahla, mag-panty ka para hindi kita yang pepe mo..

    Kahla: Sige lola.. Lola, lola..Si Daddy ko, may pepeng mahaba.. 

    Lola Cecing: ANO DAW???!!!

  4) Kahla: (pabulong) Tita Nina, sino yang kasama mo?? Iba na ba boyfriend mo??  

    hmm, perceptive child.. pero tsismosa!

  5) We watched Alice in Wonderland... and after some time...

     Daddy Gian: Kahla, tingnan mo nga kung si Tito Alvin na yang nasa gate.

     Kahla: Si Tito Alvin...Alvin in Wonderland??

  6) Tita Anne is wearing a Bohol souvenir shirt with a picture of tarsier..    

     Kahla: (pointing to the letters in the shirt which reads BOHOL)

                     Tita Anne, tingnan mo.. ang basa jan Dae-Dae! 

     Dae-dae is her cousin na medyo may kalakihan ang mata. tarsier look-alike? pwede..lol!

  7) Kahla and Ezra are playing teacher and student..

    Kahla: Tara, read natin to.. (reading the brand of the mineral water per letter...)

               B-E-V-I-D-A......  (then shouts)  Mineral!

    ang galing magbasa noh??? lol!

  8) Lolo Nick: Penge ako nyang chocolate mo.

    Kahla: Ayoko po.

    Lolo Nick: Madamot ka!

    Kahla: Kaya po ako madamot kasi last na to!

    Lolo Nick: Madamot kang bata ka.. Buti pa si Tanta...

    Kahla: Haaay, nakukulitan na ko sa matatanda!!!

  9) Sa faculty room:

    Ma'am Liza: Hi Kahla! San ang mommy mo?

    Kahla: Sa work po..

    Ma'am Liza: Eh ang daddy mo?

    Kahla: Work din po...  

    Ma'am Liza: Eh ikaw, ba't pa-upo-upo ka lang jan? Mag-work ka din! 

    Kahla: Hindi po pwede, kasi bata pa ko..

    Ma'am Liza: Hindi..mag-work ka din! Lakad na! 

    Kahla (masama na ang tingin kay Ma'am Liza) then Ma'am Liza leaves

    Kahla turns to the other teachers Ma'am Mylene and Ma'am Monette

    Kahla: Kilala nyo ba yun? Patayin nyo yun ha!

    Ma'am Mylene: Ha? Bakit??

    Kahla: Kasi pinagwo-work nya ko! Eh bata pa nga ako eh!

    Ma'am Mylene: Hindi ko pede patayin yun..friend ko yun e.

    Kahla: Bugbugin nyo na lang. Wag nyo bubuhayin!

    (at forever na nga markado si Ma'am Liza kay Kahla) :)

  10) Nung nasa bahay na...

      Mommy Kate: Teka nga Kahla, pano mo naman papatayin si Ma'am Liza?

      Kahla: Babarilin ko ng tubig!

      Mommy Kate: Ah, water gun lang pala! 

      Kahla: Babarilin ng tubig hanggang malunod!