this one morning. l Joel Miller
Warnings: fluff, some worries and concerns, some tears, Ann and Tommy appear, pregnancy?
A/N: tell me what you think about it. about this chapter? about this story? about what I write? about anything? special thanks to @underneath-the-sky-again. thank you, sweetie
your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. ๐ค sorry for all the mistakes
short stories from life. [masterlist]
The patrols had been called off due to the blizzard. Joel and a few other men were securing the stables and then they were going to tackle the interior of another house. Ellie and Dina didn't feel like spending time with you, which you understood perfectly, so you bundled up and went to Ann's house. The Christmas lights were shining in her windows, Ann had an uncanny ability to create a wonderful homely atmosphere and you knew that spending time there would definitely help you.
โI canโt believe how fast heโs growing,โ you said, looking at Elijah who was sitting in his playpen, busy with his toys.
โI just need to blink and heโll grow up a little.โ Ann laughed, placing a cup of tea in front of you. โJoel brought in the wooden blocks he made for him yesterday. I didnโt know he could do things like that! Are you sure you donโt want some coffee?โ
โNo, thank you.โ You replied. โI havenโt been able to drink it or even smell it lately.โ
Ann handed you a piece of cake, smiling as if she remembered something really funny. โI remember Shane making me coffee once. I got sick and threw up in the kitchen sink. Then it turned out to be Elijahโs fault. Right, honey?โ she cooed at the boy, and he squealed as if he understood her.
But his mother's face suddenly turned serious, her eyes widening as she looked at you. Your name fell from her lips in a whisper. "Can you be..." she began.
You couldn't answer. The thought had been circling your mind for almost two weeks. You hadn't talked about it with anyone, but deep down you were glad that it was your friend who asked the question you were afraid of.
"I don't know." You answered quietly, gripping the hot mug tighter in your hands. "I... I have no idea."
Ann sat on the edge of the couch, leaning toward you. โBut you can be? How late are you?โ
โSix weeks, almost seven.โ
Annโs face gave way to a ghost of a smile, but then she turned serious again. โDid you take a test?โ You shook your head. โJoel knows?โ
โI didnโt tell him.โ You looked down, feeling a knot in your stomach. โI donโt want to give him hopeโฆโ
โHope?โ Annโs mouth dropped open in surprise. โYou tried for that baby!โ
You put the cup on the table and hid your face in your hands, sighing deeply. You wanted to tell Joel everything. You hated keeping secrets from him, but at the same time you were afraid that it might be a false alarm. You had been feeling uneasy for a few weeks now, but you kept it to yourself.
"I'm scared." You finally said, giving vent to what had been sitting in your chest for so long. "After what happened last time, I'm scared..." You looked at Ann, tears glistening in her eyes. You finally stopped defending yourself. A few tears rolled down your cheeks. "What if this all happens again? My heart would break if..."
โDonโt think like that.โ Ann cut you off and quickly stood up, then sat down next to you. โYou both deserve to be happy. You should take a test and tell Joel. Do you have one?โ
You nodded, wiping your cheek. โI found it at the pharmacy on my last patrol.โ
โDonโt tell Joel that.โ Ann grabbed your hand, smiling. โIf Joel finds out you suspected you were pregnant and were on patrolโฆโย
You both giggled. A weight lifted from your heart and you felt a little better. This conversation didnโt solve all your worries, but you already knew you werenโt alone in this. And that was comforting.
The soft whistle of the kettle echoed through the kitchen. Joel poured boiling water into the mugs, then picked them up and slowly walked up the stairs. It was still early, and you had plenty of time before you had to take care of your duties. You could spend this time lounging in your warm bed and lazily cuddlingโJoel really liked that. Time just for the two of you, time to pretend the world hadnโt ended at all, and everything was as it could be.
He set the cups down by the empty bed and noticed that the light was still coming from under the bathroom door. Nothing else. No sound, no morning bustle, no running water. That worried Joel a little. He walked quietly to the door.
โSweetheart?โ he knocked. โAre you okay? I made you some tea.โ
Silence. Joel frowned, feeling a growing unease in his chest. He ran a hand through his already disheveled hair and knocked again.
โYouโre worrying me, sweetheart. Can I come in?โ
You didn't say anything. Joel put his hand on the doorknob and the door opened without a problem. He carefully entered and immediately saw you sitting on the edge of the tub. Something was wrong. Joel swallowed.
"Something wrong?" he asked "Baby, talk to me, please..."
You looked up at him with barely visible eyes, tears glistening in them. "Joel..." your voice broke.
You couldn't speak. You held out the long, white object to him, and Joel, slightly confused, took it in his hand. It took him a few seconds to realize what he was looking at. Two distinct lines could only mean one thing.
"Baby..." he sighed, looking at you in a way he had never done before. "Really?"
You nodded, feeling tears streaming down your cheeks again. "I'm almost 7 weeks late. I don't feel nauseous, but my breasts are sore, and the smell of coffee is irritating... Yeah, I think we did it, Joel."
You looked at each other for a moment. Neither of you knew what to say, the moment had swallowed you like a bubble and you were completely stunned. Finally, it was Joel who made the first move, placing the test on the sink and reaching for you. You took his hand and stood up, snuggling up to him. He was warm, smelling like home. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent, feeling your heartbeat and at the same time feeling like his legs were made of cotton.
"Are you happy?" you gasped, your cheeks still wet.
A warm hand cupped your cheek. Joel smiled. You saw the small wrinkles around his eyes, his soft brown eyes full of feelings for you.
"I'm the happiest man in the world, my love," he replied, "I have everything with you."
And he kissed you, already knowing that what he was saying was true.
"Joel? What the hell are you doing here?"
Tommy approached his brother, who was preparing to go on patrol. His horse was already saddled, and his rifle was slung over his shoulder. He looked at him, demanding an explanation.
โHow does that look to you? Iโm going on patrol,โ Joel replied, still working. โWeโre leaving in ten minutes.โ
โItโs not your turn,โ Tommy said, crossing his arms over his chest. โWhat now? She was feeling sick the other day, and then she had to help Ann. You canโt keep covering for her on patrol.โ
โThat doesnโt bother anyone,โ Joel muttered. โCome on, Tommy.โ
The man snickered. โWhat? Is she pregnant or something?โ
Something in Joel shifted slightly. Tommy had known him long enough to notice it. He noticed the small gesture, the change in his gaze.
โNo shit!โ he choked out. โReally? Damn! You still have it, donโt you? Oh, man!โ he patted Joel on the shoulder. โThatโs good news!โ But he noticed that Joelโs face wasnโt as happy as heโd expected. Quite the opposite. Something was nagging at him.
Tommy leaned in slightly. โBut sheโs fine, right? Have you been to the clinic yet?โ
Joel nodded. โYeah. She goes almost every week. Listenโฆโ he looked at Tommy, and Tommy saw the hidden fear in his eyes. โAfter what happened, we donโt want to take any risks. Morris says everythingโs great, but we wonโt be able to relax until we get to the second trimester.โ
โAlmost ten.โ The corner of his mouth lifted. Just the thought of you and the baby growing under your heart made him want to smile.
Tommy looked at the men preparing for patrol, then back at Joel. โListen, youโre not alone. Weโll all keep an eye on her, I promise you. No patrols, no hard work.โ
โYou donโt have to thank me. Weโre family, right?โ
Joel nodded. โDonโt spread it around. We want to keep it to ourselves as long as possible.โ
โSure.โ Tommy grinned. โBack to diapers, huh? You must be so happy.โ
The same day you took the test, you went to the clinic. You waited until dusk again and kept it a secret. Dr. Morris examined you and assured you that the pregnancy was progressing.
โThe results are normal. The heart is beating strongly,โ he said as you stared at the blurry image on the screen. โYou should be more careful because of what happened earlier. But I think youโre out of danger at this point.โ
From that day on, every night, Joel put a red cross on the calendar in the workshop. He counted down the days until you were both safe. There was nothing more he could do. Joel took over for you on patrol, but that was all. Oh, and he also started drinking coffee by the open window or on the porch so the smell wouldnโt bother you. Despite all your fears, you were truly happy.
And you were in this together, like a family.
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