(adept)

got half of the big thing done, confirmed with my boss that he received it, said "awesome. im taking tomorrow off.", and he said "absolutely. thanks for all your work.", and now im slightly drunk bc i ate for the first time at today at 630 pm with a marg

i didnt think i had the capacity to be sad about anything else, especially something so trivial, but gdi im bummed they're killing destiny 2. its not a surprise since they shit the bed so hard post-tfs but god that game had so much more potential. but the final shape was soooo good as an ending that its a consolation at least. i cant remember the last game saga i played that legit had a fantastic 'finale.' blood and wine probably.

i do need something though bc last night i had a dream of splat. it was a good dream, she was healthy again and had jumped up to sit in the dryer which is something she wouldve done when she was young. but i woke up laughing so i could get her down and then reality hit. i hope it was one of the dreams i usually have about them after they die that shows where they are. like it showed that shes happy, but usually i can tell a real dream from just a regular dream and i cant tell if this one was real or not. a bit of a gut punch after this almost two weeks of shock/denial.

I’m gonna cry my boss has done 80% of the grunt work I needed to do which was going to take up my whole weekend. I’m so happy omg

well he signed off but unfortunately committed the worst cardinal sin you can commit on someone with add - he made me stop working for 30 minutes and now im distracted

omg i take that back he finished a huge chunk of gruntwork thank the gods

i need to work late but my boss doesnt want me to work late, so im waiting for him to sign off so i can sign on, but now he's working late.

I just gaslit a youth on the train. She was getting such attitude bc I dared sit in the empty seat next to her and going on about how I didn’t say excuse me. So I told her I did say it (I did not) and she was like Oh. I didn’t hear you.

i have to go get her ashes tomorrow. it still doesnt feel real and idk if thats gonna make a difference. ive worked 60 hours this week to just not think. im self aware enough to recognize that im in total denial. i know it, and i know its gonna hit me at some point but im in the weirdest quasi-reality rn. its like that part of my brain has completely walled off. like intellectually i know it, but everything else is just blank

my mother called and said 'i wanted to see how you were doing.' i said 'i mean not great' and she said 'aww. well we're thinking of you. i'll talk to you later.'

i think baelor will be ok this time

watching dunk and egg for the 500th time as a comfort blanket, and my dad was like 'you should watch something uplifting' and im like there is nothing more uplifting than watching dunk beat aerion to a pulp

I think this weekend’s gonna be it for my girl