ਕਰਮ ਕੌਰ

I decided to create a masterpost that would help you with what you are struggling with. Hopefully any of the links below will help you! Reminder; You’re going to be okay. What you are going through will pass, just remember to breathe. 

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Distractions;

Here are some distractions to help keep your mind occupied so you aren’t too focused on your thoughts. 

-Draw something

-This website translates the time into colours.

-Create your own galaxy.

-Play flowing.

-Make a 3D line travel where ever you like. 

-Listen to music.

-Calm.

-Ocean mood, do nothing for two minutes.

Sleep issues; 

- 8 hour sleep music.

-Rainy mood. 

-Meditation.

-Coping with nightmares.

-How to cope with nightmares, 11 steps.

-Calm

-Foods that can affect your sleeping, both positive and negatively. 

  Uncomfortable with silence; 

-Rainy mood.

-10 hours of rain and thunder.

-3 hours of rain and thunder.

-Human heartbeat.

-Rainforest.

-Sound of rain on a tin roof.

-Autumn wind.

-Rain on a tent

-Traffic in the rain.

-Soft traffic. 

-Fan.

-Train.

-Simply noise.

-My noise.

-Rainy cafe.

Anxiety; 

-How to stop worrying. 

-Tips to manage anxiety and stress.

-The 10 best ever anxiety management techniques. 

-Self-help strategies for anxiety. 

-Helping a friend with anxiety. 

-All about worrying.

-8 myths about anxiety. 

Sad, angry and depressed/depression; 

-“I’m always sad”

-Feeling sad.

-Going through trauma.

-“I’m always angry”.

-Anger management. 

-All about anger.

-National helplines and websites.

-Self-help strategies for depression.

-Dealing with depression at work.

-Dealing with depression at school.

Isolation and loneliness; 

-Pets and mental health.

-All about loneliness. 

-“I feel so alone”

-10 more ideas to help with loneliness. 

-How to deal with loneliness.

  Self-harm;

-Alternatives to self-harm and distraction techniques.

-146 things to do besides self-harm.

-More alternatives to self-harm.

-Self-harm alternatives.

-How to take care of self-harm wounds/injuries.

-Getting rid of scars.  

Addiction; 

-How to help a friend with a drug addiction.

-What is addiction?

-All about alcohol and addiction.

-The facts about drug addiction.

  Eating disorders; 

-Helping a friend with an eating disorder.

-Eating disorder treatments. 

-Support services for eating disorders. 

-Self-help tips with eating disorders.

-Eating disorder recovery. 

-Recovering from an eating disorder. 

-100+ reasons to recover. 

-Understanding and managing eating disorders. 

  Dealing with self-hatred;  

-3 ways to ease self-loathing. 

-How to turn self-hatred into self-compassion.

-Self-hatred resources.

-10 step plan to deal with self-hate. 

  Suicidal; 

-International suicide hotlines (1)  (2)

-Preventing suicide. 

-Reasons to stay alive.

-Dealing with suicidal thoughts and feelings.

-Coping with suicidal ideation.  

  Schizophrenia;

-All about schizophrenia.  

-Helping a person with schizophrenia.  

-Understanding and dealing with schizophrenia.  

-Delusions and hallucinations.  

OCD;

-Managing your OCD at home. 

-Overcoming OCD.

-How to cope with OCD. 

-Strategies for dealing with the anxious moments. 

Borderline personality disorder; 

-Helping someone with BPD. 

-All about personality disorders.

-Treatment for BPD.

Abuse; 

-Healthy relationships VS abusive relationships. 

-Emotional abuse

-Overcoming sexual abuse. 

-Hotlines services. 

-5 ways to escape an abusive relationship. 

-Domestic violence support. 

-Signs of an abusive relationship. 

-What do to if you’re in an abusive relationship. 

-Surviving abuse. 

-What you can do if you’re sexual harassed. 

-Sexual assault support.

-What to do if you’ve been sexually assaulted or abused. 

  Bullying;

-How to stand up against bullying.

-How to protect yourself when it comes to cyber bullying.

-How to help stop people bullying you. 

  Loss and grief; 

-How to cope with a suicide of a loved one.

-Grieving for a stranger. 

-Common reactions to death. 

-Working through grief.

(Other loss and grief)

-Moving away from friends and family. 

-Coping with a breakup.

  Getting help; 

-Seeking help early. 

-All about psychological treatments. 

-Types of help.

-All about age and confidentiality. 

Things you need to remember; 

- Don’t stress about being fixed because you’re not broken.

-Remember to remind yourself of your accomplishments. Tell yourself that you’re proud of yourself, even if you’re not. 

- This is temporary. You won’t always feel like this. 

-You are not alone. 

-You are enough. 

-You are important. 

-You are worth it. 

-You are strong. 

-You are not a failure, 

-Good people exist. 

-Reaching out shows strength. 

-Breathe. 

-Don’t listen to the thoughts that are not helping you. 

-Give yourself credit. 

-Don’t be ashamed of your emotions, for the good or bad ones. 

-Treat yourself the same way as you would treat a good friend. 

-Focus on the things you can change. 

-Let go of toxic people. 

-You don’t need to hide, you’re allowed to feel the way you do. 

-Try not to beat yourself up. 

-Something is always happening, you don’t want to miss out on what’s going to happen next. 

-You are not a bother.

-Your existence is more than your appearance. 

-You are smart. 

-You are loved. 

-You are wanted. 

-You are needed. 

-Better days are coming. 

-Just because your past is dark, doesn’t mean your future isn’t bright. 

-You have more potential than you think. 

- Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.

It’s not okay to have your child be scared of you. That isn’t respect. That’s control. 

It’s not okay to have your child obey you at all times in order for you to love them. That isn’t high standards. That’s manipulation.

It’s not okay to force your child become what you wanted to become. That isn’t wanting the best for them. That’s living vicariously through them.

It’s not okay to take away your child’s basic needs as a punishment. That isn’t teaching them. That’s hindering them. 

It’s not okay to dictate your child’s sexuality or gender. That isn’t normalizing them. That’s repressing them.

It’s not okay to berate your child’s appearance or intelligence for being what you think is sub-par. That isn’t toughening them. That’s bullying them.

It’s not okay to take out your stress on your child. That isn’t parenting. That is abusing.

acts like you don’t exist until the second they want smth from you

pretends he’s your boss and gives you orders, treats you like factory worker

doesn’t know absolutely anything about you except what vulnerability to hit to trigger you into thinking you owe him obedience

demands you to be interested in his opinions and forces you to participate in activities he likes, never considers your interests

completely ignorant of you most of the time, then over-controlling, strict and ruthless when he wants something

disregards your personal space, enjoys poking and physically disturbing you, humiliates you in front of other people

is extremely strict on how you’re not allowed to embarrass him in front of other people, will treat you differently if others are present

clings to “traditional” values where children owe obedience in return for shelter, claims himself as the “provider” and expects endless gratitude

disregards your time and personal activities, expects you to be ready to receive orders from him at anytime

gets extremely angry and aggressive if called out, reaches for violence and terror if he’s not obeyed instantly

doesn’t hold back with yelling, shouting and heavy threats if his status is challenged

values his reputation more than entire family

values money and his personal pleasure more than family members

pretends to be the victim in absolutely any situation, if you as much as don’t idealize and adore him, you are hurting his poor feelings and you should know better that he actually cares deep inside about you even if it doesn’t show in any of his words or actions whatsoever

will patronize you, compete with you on how smart he is, gross you out, do childish pranks, act like a toddler and have zero emotional maturity

very blatantly prioritizes his social circle over you and will put much more energy and willpower into pleasing and impressing his “buddies” while you can go and raise yourself if you like

threatens to kick you out of “his” house as if he was renting you your place and not living together with his family members in a home meant for that

pretends your worth is nothing compared to his, works on lowering your confidence and will put you down especially when you are feeling a bit encouraged and happy with yourself

tries to control your opinions and makes you feel like you’re stupid for having independent thought that differs from his

shamelessly indulges in perverse, disgusting, dehumanizing and cruel behavior right in front of you

generates dumbest and most disgusting excuses for his behavior, however you are not allowed to put one step out of line or you’re deemed a waste of space and ungrateful brat

acts like you don’t exist until the second they want smth from you

pretends he’s your boss and gives you orders, treats you like factory worker

doesn’t know absolutely anything about you except what vulnerability to hit to trigger you into thinking you owe him obedience

demands you to be interested in his opinions and forces you to participate in activities he likes, never considers your interests

completely ignorant of you most of the time, then over-controlling, strict and ruthless when he wants something

disregards your personal space, enjoys poking and physically disturbing you, humiliates you in front of other people

is extremely strict on how you’re not allowed to embarrass him in front of other people, will treat you differently if others are present

clings to “traditional” values where children owe obedience in return for shelter, claims himself as the “provider” and expects endless gratitude

disregards your time and personal activities, expects you to be ready to receive orders from him at anytime

gets extremely angry and aggressive if called out, reaches for violence and terror if he’s not obeyed instantly

doesn’t hold back with yelling, shouting and heavy threats if his status is challenged

values his reputation more than entire family

values money and his personal pleasure more than family members

pretends to be the victim in absolutely any situation, if you as much as don’t idealize and adore him, you are hurting his poor feelings and you should know better that he actually cares deep inside about you even if it doesn’t show in any of his words or actions whatsoever

will patronize you, compete with you on how smart he is, gross you out, do childish pranks, act like a toddler and have zero emotional maturity

very blatantly prioritizes his social circle over you and will put much more energy and willpower into pleasing and impressing his “buddies” while you can go and raise yourself if you like

threatens to kick you out of “his” house as if he was renting you your place and not living together with his family members in a home meant for that

pretends your worth is nothing compared to his, works on lowering your confidence and will put you down especially when you are feeling a bit encouraged and happy with yourself

tries to control your opinions and makes you feel like you’re stupid for having independent thought that differs from his

shamelessly indulges in perverse, disgusting, dehumanizing and cruel behavior right in front of you

generates dumbest and most disgusting excuses for his behavior, however you are not allowed to put one step out of line or you’re deemed a waste of space and ungrateful brat

I’m angry that when I finally put the pieces together that yes this was abuse, nobody believed me.

I’m angry that when I told my parents everything, gave them every bit of evidence I had, they still sent my sisters to that school, knowing the people there will lash out at them when I go public.

I’m angry that when I told a friend everything, she locked me out of her life and shamed me into silence.

I’m tired of older adults ignoring me because apparently the twenty year age gap that is physically impossible to close makes my opinions and feelings invalid.

I am angry that social services left us in that house even after they saw what it was like inside. Even after they saw the piles if moldy dishes, the floor piled with trash. After they heard that a single parent with no job had 7 children. After my sister called the police because my mum took an axe to her door.

I am angry that when we were all huddled into one room, hiding from an abuser, we were urged by our father (over the phone) not to call the police. But I am even more angry that if we had they wouldn’t have listened.

I am angry that they tore my out of the arms of the one person who was trying to protect me, as I screamed and cried. And when I expressed fear about my mum entering the room the school Chaplin said “either she is coming in or i am calling the police”. I am angry that when she grabbed a tissue to stop the glob of snot from falling from my face they said “see, your mum loves your, no one else would do that for you” when I knew she was just protecting their carpets.

I am angry that there are 2 little kids still living in that hell. That no one will save them. That I can’t save them, because I’m just a kid too.

I am angry that at 16 instead of planing my future in accordance to how it will be best for me, I am planning what I can do to be able to take in one of those children.

I’m angry at my school, for confronting me about what was going on at home, because I ‘looked a little different’. I had an unironed shirt on. As usual. Maybe greasy hair because I forgot to have a bath. As usual.

I’m angry at my former social worker, who has suggested and maybe even tried to get me to see my dad again, even though I had made it obvious I don’t want to see him, or hear him, or even step n e a r him

I am angry that they were shocked and angry when me and my brother left.

1. Ignore your feelings when they say to put walls … and actively decide to build a bridge instead.

2. Don’t compare yourself to others, or attack yourself. Appreciate your talents and the things that make you “you.”

3. Pay attention to your thoughts when you feel anxious or afraid. Imagine being successful, and relaxed, and popular.

4. Focus on what’s best in others; validate their gifts and strengths.

5. Avoid touchy topics; don’t be boring or offensive; and notice when it’s time to let another take the stage.

6. Try to focus more on others and the things that interest them. Avoid the trap of talking about me, me, me!

you are good enough! your best is always enough! you are good enough! your best is always enough! you are good enough! your best is always enough! you are good enough! your best is always enough! you are good enough! your best is always enough! you are good enough! your best is always enough! you are good enough! your best is always enough! you are good enough! your best is always enough! you are good enough! your best is always enough!

i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you.

your eyes light up a million skies of darkness brighter than the stars of the night sky do. your smile lights a fire within my heart and makes me grin automatically. you glow effortlessly and brighter than even the warmest of fires and bonfires my precious angelbeam!

thank you for existing. this world needs you. you make me happy. and my heart go boom boom and flutter flutter and lovey dovey. love you! i see great magic in you!!!

The abuse is not your fault.

You do not deserve how you are treated.

The abuse was not your fault

The abuse was not your fault

You did not deserve how you were treated

Even if you don’t get out of the situation.  Whether you can’’t or didn’t realize how bad you were treated until you were out of it, IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.