I hadn't been active here in a very long time, but I think that is a good thing. I used to think I'd be on this site at this point still but I think it has helped me get to where I am today and happy that it was there for me when I needed it. Thinking about teenage me on this website and adult me now has been a very nostalgic feeling. The connections I made here has been irreplaceable, but also outgrown, to say the least.
Writing use to be an outlet for me to be able to talk about my thoughts because I thought no one else would listen. I do miss writing as it gives a good avenue to think through my thoughts and spend time to curate my words in a better way. I am happy to say that I have someone that is willing to listen to all my thoughts without judgement. But I know from time to time it can still be scary.
There had been so many life changes in the past two years that I don't know if I've been able to fully digest it all. Being in a relationship has definitely changed a lot of things and showed me different perspectives of things.
If there is anyone out here still that still wondered at all, I can say that leaving things behind was a really hard task for me in the beginning. But now that I had finally came to peace with it, after that it was just easy to share things with my partner.
I have learned a lot about myself and my partner and how we mesh together and it was been a eye opening experience, for the lack of a better saying.
I am happy and content with my love continuously growing and really can't wait for what the future holds.
My partner expressed in the beginning of our relationship that me being stuck in the past made her pretty uneasy. And I had worked continuously to make sure that my past doesn't affect my present and future for both of us.
There were people that were important to me and I had mourned the loss of friendships over the years. And I had wished that some people had stayed to see how much I've grown and grown with me. But I guess that's how life is. I do think about those friendships from time to time and its sad. But I think I'm glad to have had those friendships. I remember conversations of future plans only for things to fizzle out. As much as I am sorry for losing those friendships, I am grateful for the experiences I got to have. I know that I tried to reach out to rekindle friendships but in the end there was no reciprocation. At first I became bitter about it but now I am just sad it went that way. I do hope that I had made some positive impact to some of those friendships even if some of it went sour.
I don't want my partner to think that I reminisced often about the past and people because I don't. I think that it was just a part of my life that I looked back as good times but in reality they were just different times in my life that happened. And that now she is my present and future. I had felt so lonely but she had filled the void that had been vacant for years.
So for those that had been interested in where I am at in life, I am in a good place and I really hope you are too. And if our paths ever cross again, I'd let whatever happens, happen. Cheers to our lives moving in different paths.
My fiancé will eventually find this, so I hope you know that I love you endlessly. Thank you for loving me.



















