Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

For @forever-rewatching-merlin​ who made me cry over my most favourite merlin fic for the hundredth time.

But I don’t think after the events of season 1 ep 5, Lancelot wanted to be a knight. Like he was a talented swordsman and a natural fighter but I do think that his dreams changed and before everyone comes at me saying that what’s he had wanted since he was a child but come on things change and perhaps after dealing with the whole knighthood situation firsthand, he realizes that it isn’t what he want anymore and that would explain why he never tried to return to Camelot out of his own accord. I also believe after defeating the Griffin, he was pardoned because let’s be honest the man left with quite style.

He was gifted a horse, armor and a nice fancy cloak and he dramatically rode off in the sunset. Like all the episodes he is in, the man surely knows how to make an exit and entrance. Anyway even after the events of season 2 episode 4 when he is down on his luck and kinda has the opportunity to go back to Camelot but Lancelot doesn’t seem to even entertain the idea of it and I really think it’s after this episode that he and Merlin begin to write to one another.

Merlin was in desperate in need of a sincere friend who knew the real him especially after Will’s death and that’s why I believed he turned towards Lancelot and those letters they not only helped Merlin stay on the path of sanity but also was like a source of comfort for Lancelot and their friendship deepened over the course of two years that they simply wrote to another. I am sure Merlin often mentioned Lancelot’s letters to Gauis as well because when Gauis mentions it during the finale episode, he looks like he is quite accustomed to it.

Ok so now we have Lancelot who has become friends with Percival so at least he is not that alone anymore and they are surviving together but then he receives Merlin’s letter and he is beckoning for Lancelot to come and he does come without a second thought. Also throw back to the deleted scene.

Merlin had said that he didn’t think that Lancelot would have come which means that during their exchanges, he must have gotten an idea that Lancelot wasn’t particularly interested coming back to Camelot and then he assumes that Lancelot had come out of loyalty for Arthur. Now, Lancelot in particular is not a very blunt or out spoken guy. In a lot of scenes he prefers not to go against people’s assumptions about him but in this scene he rebuffs that “It wasn’t Arthur who sent for me” which clearly shows that he wasn’t there to chase Arthur or in more specific sense glory and recognition. He was simply there for Merlin.

Also after the knighting scene. Like friendly reminder that out of the all whole group, he had wanted to become a knight but we see a very different response as opposed to the one in the first season. I know, they are currently stuck in a very life and death situation but even Merlin is more excited than him about Lancelot getting back his knighthood. Perhaps Merlin thought that the knighthood was the perfect gift and excuse for Lancelot to not leave again and he could have his friend close to him.

Lancelot only jokes, “for how long” and then turns the conversation onto Merlin saying that he was actually the bravest of them all and inquires on what is the actual plan and makes it clear that he is here to follow Merlin not Arthur. This knighthood thing is just a responsibility he has to adhere just so that he can help his friend.

I don’t think I have to further analyze the future two episodes because they have already been discussed so much.

But just thing I would like to add from the darkest hour episodes. Lancelot had come to Camelot to protect his friend and for that he was ready to compromise his vows of knighthood. Like wanting Merlin to turn back and he would lie to Arthur for him and most importantly wanting to take Merlin back to Camelot even after he was fully healed even though as a knight it should have been his first priority to join Arthur. Man was ready to risk it all whether it was to forsake the vow he made with Gwen or the knight’s codes.

His first and foremost priority was to keep his friend safe and in the end he sacrificed himself to make sure that Merlin lived. That’s why he turned back one last time and smiled at Merlin, knowing that the sacrifice was worth it.

[ID: two screenshots from series 2, episode 2 of BBC Merlin. In the first, Arthur has put on a blueish grey shirt given to him by Merlin. It had a relatively high collar and is low-cut, the strings of the shirt loosely threaded through the eyelets. Two lines of stitching run parallel around the opening of the shirt. In the second, Arthur is sitting down in Gwen’s house. The cuffs of the shirt, which looks more grey than blue, end at his wrists and another line of stitching is visible at the base of the shirt's opening, creating a rectangular panel on the front of the shirt. End ID.]

The Darkest Hour P1 - s4 e1

The Wicked Day - s4 e3

His Father's Son - s4 e5

A Servant of Two Masters - s4e6

The Secret Sharer - s4 e7

Lamia - s4 e8

Fuck yes bro here we gooooo

Fair warning can’t promise this will be coherent and there WILL be straw grasping 🤣

Okie dokie we begin as does everything important with 1x05

So Lance lives with Merlin and Gaius for the entirety of his stay; indeed I'm pretty sure Gaius adopts him, he starts doing the proud father in law smile after Lance gets knighted

And of course Merlin and Lance share a room. With the one single bed. You know where I'm going with this.

Look I personally think they just kissed but you really can’t have two people emerge messy haired from a room with one (SINGLE) bed muttering about how hungover they are without Implications

We shall skip through 2x04 bc Lance is terribly emo during that and we get like one good interaction

And thus we reach 3x13, where Merlin very casually reveals he's sent a message to Lancelot.

And a deleted scene where Lance asks 'how did you know I was still in Haldur?’ (sadly not Ealdor, though can you imagine) confirms that they've been corresponding before this, probably with long, romantic letters ok so this is basically why Mercelot is canon what did you expect

And of course later on they display their fondness for sleeping next to each other and gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes again what did you expect

Okkkk now we get to s4. The crux of the matter.

In 4x01 Merlin faints and Lance goes ballistic (and is the only one to (???????)). He's like holy fuck is he going to be ok and Gaius is like go get him some more blankets.

We see Merlin coming out of his room wrapped in the blanket from his bed so presumably Lance hasn't come back yet. And when he does to a traumatised, exhausted and freezing Merlin, what is he just gonna leave? In what universe- I think the fuck not aaaaan idk where I’m going with this I got sidetracked but but I guess I’m saying he’s very comfortable in Merlin’s home idk man i never promised coherency

And then, 4x02.

HE JUST ROLLS STRAIGHT OVER there is no way his brain has had time to remember the current situation he's just that used to sleeping next to Merlin and that unused to not waking up to him beside him.

You literally watch him go from asleep to morning Merlin :) to FUCK FUCK MERLIN WHERE’S MY MERLIN GONE in about 0.2 seconds. Plus he gave him his cloak which ofc he did but 🥺🥺🥺🥺

And then we have the piece de resistance - S04E09 Lancelot Du Lac. That's right people that stupid shitty episode does have a purpose 

✨'You can have my bed'✨

There is no way on this planet that Arthur would not give his favourite knight who's just returned from sacrificing his life for Camelot the best damn guest chambers in Camelot, hell they probably haven't yet occupied his old chambers.... if he had them.

And Mr Sexy Shade wouldn't know shit about that bc Morgana didn't so Merlin must've gone ‘don't be ridiculous Lance you're coming home with me Gaius is making your favourite’ and Shade must've thought ‘I had no idea I was so... settled is there a kid I need to know about?’

'You can have my bed' was a test. Merls already suspected something was up read my fic and as soon as Lancelot politely declined he really knew something was up and started mentioning his magic and being generally colder towards him cos that ain’t Lancelot

Tldr: Lancelot stayed in Merlin’s room every other time he was in Camelot and was very comfortable in Merlin’s home and also there was only one bed

So in conclusion