Kanako Ketsukane

SILLY LITTLE TAGS FOR MY SILLY LITTLE POSTINGS!!!!! (more tags added soon. too lazy to come up with them right now hehe!)

... i think my #1 wish, over everything... is that one day, ill wake up, and... this all will have been a bad dream. My mom would hear me waking up and check if i was alright, having just woken up from a nightmare... I'd still be at my home underground. No lab, and... certainly not this place. at... home. ... I'd be reassured that it was all just a dream. and that everything was ok. after getting ready for the day... I could go out into Oasis Valley and find the friends ive missed so much. and we could play like its just... any normal day! Like we did before... Maybe after I can stop by Cafe Dune! Get something yummy (if the place isnt still on strike) and play some of the games there! still gotta beat my last mew mew love blaster high score... i was very proud of that one We could take a trip to the wild east and i'd get to have fun with the feisty five! I'd get to wear a cowboy hat and look real dang intimidating, heheheh,, just like Dina says i do! hehehe,, i bet the 5 agree as well. Maybe at home, I can make more drawings! i can draw my family, and my friends... Whatever i draw, im sure im proud of it! I always put as much love as i can into it, after all! I can show it off to my mom once its done and maybe see if i can hang another one of my drawings up on the wall! and by the end of the day, any memory of that nightmare would just... fade like it never even happened... I could lay down and have that little bedtime back and forth with my mom until i grow too tired to keep my eyes open ^^ and probably have the best rest ive ever gotten in my life. My bed is very comfy after all..! and of course, i could do it all again the next day, and the next, and the next... living a happy life where i belong. being able to grow up where i belong... In the underground, surrounded by the monsters i know and love. ... i miss my home. I wish i could be there so, so bad... I want to live that life I lost. As me. Kanako Ketsukane. I... wish one day thatll happen. and i wont stop wishing. Its all been on my mind a lot lately... i want it more than anything. here in this world, i dont have that. none of it... It feels like the life i should be living was taken from me. all i want is to grow up underground where i belong surrounded by the people i love. is that too much to ask..?

I wish it was easier to be acknowledged as my body. I wish it didnt bring such a visceral uncomfort, or disgust... When i hear about traits of my body... i dont recognize them as mine. because they ARENT im not any of those things. THAT isnt me. Not even the slightest bit. i dont wish to be known as my body to ANY degree. and its... getting upsetting. I'm Kanako Ketsukane, not... this. Nothing about "my" body matches with my true self. Its not me. its only the vessel i happen to inhabit. a disgusting one at that... I wish it were easier to explain... It just... hurts. it hurts a lot. I wish this body didnt exist. I dont think i'll be able to feel happy in... any form, other than the one thats ACTUALLY me. Kanako Ketsukane. ... and that scares me. a lot. the idea that i'll never be able to be happy in any body in this world.

... not to mention boring. wheres the variety?????? monsters can be all different so... why cant humans have cool tails or wings or horns or walk on more than two legs or have fur or anything???? i dont get it!!!