Gonna Chase You Up

My favorite trope is “janitor in headphones continues cleaning through extreme action”

I’ve been the janitor in headphones and trust me it’s an act we just don’t wanna be involved in the nonsense

i dont know what love island is but from what ive heard its like danganronpa for people that use snapchat

damn they ain't lying, it is like talking to a fucking genie with you people.

Americans love to act like seeing a naked body is rhe worst thing that can ever happen to anyone ever

We all have that one guy we hate doing night watch with on our ship

"I swear to god i just saw something" Ohhh my goddd

“I would die for my kids” your children want an apology

your made up scenario isn’t real (shocker) and makes no difference when your kids are starving for your acknowledgment of the pain you caused them. you’re only performing the role of a good parent, without having to actually do any heavy lifting

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

when i was born they rushed all the nurses into the room. called the whole hospital. Here’s the baby that doesn’t cry they said

we love to applaud performative masculinity

I was a stoic