im sorry in advance

i haaate when ppl are talking abt mammal colouration and they bring up mandrills but not vervet monkeys.... fake fans

Mike’s flaccid lemonade

Mike’s soft and floppy lemonade

smirks darkly is a beautiful name for a baby girl

The euros fail to consider the form: it’s not Johnny’s hubris that is the subject of the song. It’s the devil’s, who thinks his power is worth more than simple love for a craft

neither americans nor the modern era have any sort of monopoly on one-upping the devil. one of the oldest european folk tales is The Smith and the Devil, in which a smith makes a deal with the devil for his soul and when the devil comes to collect, the smith tricks him into leaving him alone forever. tricking that bastard is an old and storied tradition.

"average person who makes a deal with the devil is dragged to hell after 10 years" factoid actually just statistical error. average person who makes a deal with the devil uses their new hellish gifts to outwit the old bastard so they can keep both gifts and soul for the rest of their long and prosperous lives. faust, who bargained for knowledge of all things and then wasted his 10 years chasing a girl who wasn't all that into him, is an idiot and should not have become the cornerstone of modern understanding of the trope.

one of my girlfriends only tells the truth. my other girlfriend only tells lies.

and yes, they both smoke weed

and which one told you that?