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Motivation is one of the biggest issues for students and it is always great to find a few things that can keep you feeling inspired. Here are my top ten ideas:

start small - set yourself a challenge to work for five to ten minutes. Yes, just five minutes can be enough to get started! If you can get through that five minutes, you will start breaking down that feeling of disinterest and begin to get more into working. A fantastic application that will keep you from using your phone and on a time limit of between 10 minutes and two hours is Forest! However, here are some free alternatives.

plan tomorrow today - I find planning my day - or at least writing down a couple of tasks - before bed is extremely beneficial. In the morning I wake up with intent and get see my main priorities. They don’t have to full-fledged plans or written nicely in my planner but even just small reminders on a post-it note are enough for me to feel more organised.

give yourself a bit of structure - as mentioned, having a plan is a great way to start the day. You might use a planner, a bullet journal or a free printable from me to organise! Set yourself up with 3 key things to finish or do during the day. Give yourself a goal and a reward upon completion. Put time limits on tasks and use a schedule to stay on track.

utilise a studygram/studyblr - basically, the communities on Tumblr and Instagram act as amazing accountability partners! I am constantly motivated by my blog and being able to share my day to day life on Instagram or Snapchat. I definitely have become incredibly motivated and disciplined because of these two communities. If you’re thinking about starting a studyblr, read this. If you’re thinking about starting a studygram, read this. If you already have either, here is how you can use it to further motivate yourself!

set up an inspiring workplace - dedicating a space to work, and only work, is a great way to build a mindset of motivation which kicks in when you sit down. This Pinterest board has loads of inspiration for setups and organisation! You can also add a cute plant, a bright study lamp and some motivational printables for added encouragement!

externalise your short and long-term goals - by making a verbal or written commitment to your goals, you are much more likely to take steps to follow them through. You might want to have a really productive week catching up on all your work, improve your GPA or pass your semester with flying colours. At the start of each week think of the ways you can put your goals into actions. Then at the end of the week reflect on how you did. Track your progress and keep up your motivation by seeing things get a step closer each time!

listen to some music - putting on my favourite songs always put me in a better mindset and feeling more positive. Before a study session or during a break, I will sometimes put on a few songs I’m loving and take a moment to refocus.

don’t force it - if you’re feeling unmotivated to study, try doing something else for a short amount of time. Avoid things that could distract you like browsing Facebook or Instagram. Instead, try tidying your bedroom, organising your upcoming week, read a chapter of a book, or get a drink of water. Alternatively, make an action plan for what you need to do with your next few tasks. That way you’re still making progress with your work but aren’t sitting feeling too unmotivated to actually study.

find some inspiration - there is no shortage of amazing people with incredible stories of success! Podcasts such as The Daily Boost, The Tony Robbins Podcast and The School of Greatness are great examples. Ted Talks are often incredibly insightful and motivating! Search for quotes or stories from your favourite people!

change your mindset - one of the biggest challenges in motivation is adjusting your own perspective. For instance, instead of thinking “I am terrible at this” think “How can I learn this differently to really understand?”. “I made a mistake” think “What can I take away from making this mistake?”. “It isn’t perfect” think “These perfectionist tendencies are only making this more difficult, I can be content with my work”. Having a more positive outcome to each situation should help boost your confidence and motivation!

I hope these few tips are useful and help improve your motivation! If it helps, I would love to hear about it :-)

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BEFORE YOU READ THIS POST, JUST KNOW THAT IT IS VERY TRIGGERING AND MAYBE GRAPHIC AND IT CONTAINS PARTS OF MY LIFE STORY LIKE I SAID LOTS OF TRIGGERING THINGS INCLUDES R@PE, PREGNANCY, CHILD LOSE, ABUSE AND MORE.

I'm sorry.... I'm so very sorry.

I feel fucking pathetic, like a burden, like a "waste", an empty vessel at times and I feel so very lost not just in my mind but in the world I live in. I really am selfish always thinking about myself and what I want and need...it just took me a few years ago to realize people have fucking issues just like I do...pain, struggles,  trauma and so much more...but it never actually clicked in my head until now...and I'm sorry. With all my soul I am. All my life I've felt like no one was there for me. Like no one ever heard me when I spoke, no one ever truly understood me or what I was ACTUALLY trying to say, not just because the words that were coming out didn't exactly match what I was feeling inside but also just because I truly felt like no one ever understood me no matter how much I talked, no matter how much I told my story. My family is nice but extremely judgmental and I'm mainly talking about my immediate family because I don't talk to anybody else but anyway there is just, so much drama, trauma and pain... so much pain.

I've told some people things, mainly just venting about my present life but not about my childhood and growing up and a lot of you don't know and I talk about how much pain I'm in in all the bad thoughts but nobody knows what's going on and I would like to explain that a little bit I really don't even know where to start.. I guess I'm just going to start off with I truly feel like my childhood sucks, when I think about it there's so much I can write but at the same time I'm sitting here like do I really want to put that in this post, and the answer is no so I won't but I will say that in my teens my middle to late teens I found out, well we found out that my mom has bipolar disorder, with manic depression and let's just say growing up with that was like hell if I'm being honest. And living with Nana when I was younger and a little bit in my teens it was nice and I love her so much but her way of thinking and just the things she says she didn't realize that she was truly hurting me, she used to tell me not to eat so much because I was getting chubby or she would always mention when I had gained or lost any weight, I developed and eating disorder and I thought it was in the past but I guess not. I remember when I was in my late teens I was getting dressed in front of Nana and she told me that I should wear a bra because my boobs were too saggy for my age and that my boob should be perkier and that's been in my head ever since she said it and I have been so so self-conscious about my weight and my body. Back to my mom, well there was lots of yelling, lots of hitting, lots of accusations of things that a parent shouldn't accuse their offspring of, like when I first got my period on 5th grade I was 11/12 and I hid it cause I was scared and when she found out (saw my underwear) she accused me of losing my virginity and completely went off, whipped me with a studded belt (the cute 2000s emo ones, it was MY belt) and ruined a very personal binder I had full of all my favorite things or like having sex at a concert when I was 15 because the fishnet she let me borrow wear ripped, I was fucking crowd surfing and in mosh-pits and when I tried to tell her I had got hurt (elbowed in the face by some grown man and had my chest stepped on cause that same guy made me fall in the mosh-pit,) she thought I was lying to cover up that I had sex!!! She pawned my stuff with the promise of me getting it back and that usually never happened, there were lots of false promises and lots of broken hope. Let's not forget the manipulation in the fact that she was a narcissist, I truly hate it because it feels like the only way I know how to communicate is through yelling or arguing and I can never stay calm, it's like I'm my mom and I truly do hate it I really fucking hate it. I do not want to be her, I do not want to be like her at ALL. Unfortunately I have picked up a lot of things from her during my childhood and her being really my main guardian besides Nana but I was usually with my mom and we moved around a lot and there was lots of yelling and I've seen her get beat by men, we've been evicted so many times, having lights and other things get cut off, having the car break down side of the road multiple times throughout my life, being evicted, living in cars and hotels, her being a "functional coke head" she doesn't do much but she does it and I know about it and she still does, her always yelling at me for something literally anything the smallest thing and I see myself doing the things that she did to me in relationships or with friendships or really anybody who gets close to me and I guess that's why I subconsciously I push so many people away and I'm sorry because I guess maybe somewhere deep down I feel like I'm truly not good enough, not good enough for anybody not even myself because I don't know if you know what the fucking crazy part is it's that I don't know why I feel this way but I know that I do and it hurts so much.

I had a best friend when I was 10 and he was 13 we met at the pool, some people may see an issue with that already (our ages) and whenever I start to tell this story a lot of people seem to I never understood why until multiple people explained it to me(sorry, tons of people have told me I'm slow, ditzy, and very naive and or gullible), and I guess my family was happy because I didn't have any friends and he was really nice and his family was nice they were great actually, well this kid with my best fucking friend, everyday we would hang out outside together and he would sometimes wait for me to get off the bus and we hang out we'd hanging out the parking lot lots of stuff you know kids stuff, but there was a lot of none kids stuff as well, he did a lot of things to me and I never told anyone. When we were older, when I was 18/19 he r@ped me, in my Nana's house on the couch.. And you want to know the fucked up part about that, a few years later I still wanted to be his friend because even after everything he put me through he was the only person I really knew like that the only person who had did my life consistently for years and I didn't want to lose that, I really hate myself because who wants to be friends with somebody after something like that like what the fuck is wrong with me and why do I ruin every single relationship and friendship I have or have ever had?

When I was 19 I got into a relationship with a guy by him blackmailing me, it was a really horrible situation but we started dating and I met his family they were really nice and stuff, off that I'm going to tell you my first red flag was when they told me that they were shocked that was there because they never thought he did a black girl, anyway I'll continue with the story, so it was a very very toxic relationship, one of my most toxic relationships I've ever been in also one of my first more serious relationships as well. I'm going to just skip a lot of it and get to the main part I want to talk about we broke up around Mardi gras time back in 2017, like a little bit before that and he asked me to come over for Valentine's Day and my dumbass said yes and they got all dressed up and pretty and shit happened and two weeks later while I was visiting my family in New Orleans my period didn't show up and so I just didn't think anything of it because I have PCOS that's not the first time I period's been late, but it was still late by the time I got back home and I had started throwing up so his sister got me a test and it was positive, I'm going to fast forward a lot of toxic crap and say that I had a miscarriage and and I remember everything so vividly and I remember everything that happened that day, it was April 17th 2017 and that day will forever be in my heart. I was around 11½ weeks going on 12 and I remember being excited because I was hitting that 12 week mark‼️ well anyway ❤️‍🩹 during the hospital visit I had to get a D&c, and while I was in the room after everything that happened, he, my ex was complaining that he wanted to go home, because he was bored and he wanted to play his PlayStation now let me remind you that I had just suffered a miscarriage from my very first pregnancy after years of me thinking that I could not get pregnant, I just had a D&c and everything from my waist down was completely numb because of the procedure, so obviously that really fucking hurt my feelings and I also remember him telling me that I probably wanted this to happen and that I didn't want my baby and that I lost them on purpose and for years he was trying to find me on social media different platforms trying to add me and telling me that he wanted us to at least be friends if we couldn't work anything out but he always protested that I never wanted my baby and that I lost them on purpose. This was before the miscarriage and even me finding out I was pregnant this was actually one of the reasons we broke up before but I remember him telling me " okay yeah just go back over there so you can get r@ped again" after I told him I was going to go visit my Nana's house for about a few days to a week And that's in my head as well.

I filled with so much pain and so much heartache for years I've had people who I saw were friends that tell me that I complain a lot and that I'm always thinking about the negative and that I can never see the happy things in life. Well I'm sorry I really care my head and heart is always so much pain before so much sadness and anger, I get angry so fast birthday heating because I've NEVER mean ANYTHING. It's truly just anger and venom just spewing out of my mouth coming out faster than I can think and arrange words and sentences in my mind. When I think about it when I truly stop and I'm calm and I think about everything it's exactly what my mom used to do, it's how she used to yell at me why was younger and it makes me feel like shit because I don't want to be that person I don't want to be like that.... I don't I really don't..I don't want to.

The problem is, I have such crippling anxiety, and social anxiety that being on the internet, my phone, makes me feel so safe and it's like I can talk better sometimes anyway, but it's definitely easier expressing myself there's a lot I left out but I wrote down the things that I thought were truly truly important.

And now I'm wrapping up and going towards the end and I would like to talk about my mental health. I know I need therapy but in order to get therapy I need money. In order to make money I need to work. In order for me to work that means I have to be social which is something I've never ever really been good at and if anybody who has made it this far can help me I'll find a way to make it up to you somehow, even if it's just talking to me everyday and getting me used to talking to somebody I'm not sure I don't know. I don't really have friends and I don't want to offend anybody who may consider me a friend by saying I don't have any friends at all. I'm not sure if I do but if you consider me your friend then thank you so much. Working is difficult for me, just like being in school was extremely difficult for me. These things bring me the greatest amount of anxiety in my current adult life and I'm not sure how to fix for work around it, I'm 25 years old and I've had approximately three to four professional jobs you know the ones that pay you direct deposit. I'm not really sure how to manage like life I guess I know how to do some stuff but I'm lost on pretty much a lot of things. A lot of things seem really difficult and challenging and extremely overwhelming for me I feel like I'm this child trapped in an adult's body sometimes like I don't know what's going on and I'm trapped in the sense of my emotions and vulnerability I guess for lack of a better words. The last job I had I kept having anxiety attacks and everything was so overwhelming for me and everybody was so rude and I really couldn't take it I truly want to work on my art for a living if I could do that it would be amazing I would love to work on my art, making stickers out of my own art and prints and canvases with my paintings and different things I also want to continue my bath bombs and bookmarks and digital art! The only issue is I'm not sure where to start.

I also do enjoy sex work and having an only fans but the problem is that no one will subscribes or it's hard to control my temper especially on days when I don't feel like talking to anybody I guess you could call them manic days I'm not really sure to be honest like their chooses days when I just don't feel like doing anything at all not talking to anyone or I'll wake up with just an attitude for absolutely no reason like I don't know why I'm just upset/ mean that day, and there are days when I'm great I'm happy and I'm cheerful. I'm not sure what to do with my life, and the fact that my body is in pain and I have sight restrictions with what I physically can do sometimes on and off doesn't really help especially if I am trying to find actual work if SW doesn't work like I need it to because just because I enjoy it doesn't mean that it will help me with anything that I need financially...

Physically speaking my back is easy with causing me a lot of pain, I also have a reoccurring cyst it's called a pilonidal cyst and I've had it since the end of 2017/start of 2018, and I actually have one coming back now, which sucks because I'm currently on my period for the second time this month and I am also sick.

If anyone has any tips or anything I can do please let me know what it is. Whether it's emotional help, financial help, physical help. I do not mind drawing something for you, like a commission just let me know!!