Over the years, holidays and special occasions have shifted a great deal from being about family, love and quality time into being more commercialized and competitive. With Valentine’s Day coming right around the corner, I’ve begun to explore how this holiday is not different and might actually be one of the worst. Let’s just start by saying, Valentine’s Day is probably one of my favorite holidays because you are able to show that special someone how much you love and appreciate. But for me a cis gender woman, this is easy to say. For others who are not cis gender, this holiday might cause fear because they may be afraid to go out in public with their significant other. Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays where you are kind of forced to express your gender, sex and ultimately your sexuality. It’s another social construct. As Judith Butler talks about in her article, if you act in the way that society wants you to, then you are fine, but once you step outside societal norms, you could easily be faced with discrimination and/or violence. Butler also talks about how gender is a performative act. I feel that Valentine’s Day is a perfect example of this. For example, men are expected to buy flowers, chocolate and oversized teddy bears for their wives, girlfriends or daughters.  Men are also expected to make the dinner reservations, open the doors, pull out the chairs and pay the bill. Women on the other hand are expected to dress up, fix their hair and makeup (usually some red lipstick is included) and be eye candy for the night. These repetitive acts eventually get old, but I feel that people are too afraid to challenge the status quo, so year after year it continues. The problem arises, when the performative acts differ or when the parties involved differ. For example, if a gay or lesbian couple decides to celebrate Valentines, then they have to figure out which role they want to play. Who wants to pay for dinner? Who wants to dress up? These are dilemmas faced every day for these couples. Also, there is a factor of scrutiny from the public eye. Dean Spade talks about the idea of making non-cis people feel like something is wrong with them. Spade talks about how people change their sex in order to fit into the societal norms and be more accepted. I’ve personally seen this happen first hand during Valentine’s Day. I had a friend who was in a lesbian relationship and her partner would dress more masculine presenting and she would wear a dress and heels, because this was more accepting out in public. And even though, they are expressing their sexuality, they still are performing the way society wants. So overall, I feel that Valentine’s Day in modern times has lost its true purpose which is for people to show their love for their significant other. If that isn’t something that everyone can do comfortably then maybe the holiday shouldn’t be something that is celebrated.