Pissless

me if i was lobsta 🦞 monday

au where shane has a burner twitter account that he uses to keep up with hockey stuff, not just players and stats but what the commentary is from fans and talking heads, and one day he sees a take from a podcast bro that pisses him off so bad he HAS to tweet about it. so he replies to the podcast with the most devastating one liner you've ever heard and suddenly thousands of people are following him and asking for more takes etc and he becomes a pretty popular account in the hockey world (and beyond bc the tweets are just too good) and crucially!!! he is always hyping up ilya. like if a ref makes a shitty call he's coming to ilya's defense immediately. and of course at some point ilya follows him too. and the whole time he's becoming more popular on twitter nobody knows it's him, his mom brings up 'that rozanov superfan on twitter' at dinner, hayden brings it up in the locker room, etc, and shane is just like. laughing nervously. yeah i've heard of them i guess. meanwhile he didn't even realize he was hyping ilya up so much he was just giving good hockey commentary. and then ilya brings up his superfan while they're at the cottage. i'm on the cover of the fucking game. i have important hockey superfan on twitter, you are jealous. and shane would have to decide whether he's going keep lying or face the humiliation of telling ilya the truth

People love natives in such a superficial way. People wanna stand with natives when we’re talking about the trees, and the land. People wanna stand with natives when we talk about philosophies of love and togetherness. But as soon as it’s time to talk about political side of being native. About dismantling a system built on the genocide of our people. About how we need a new system that isn’t built upon capital gain and benefitting white bodies. About putting up a fight. About how the colonial state we reside in is a disgusting imperial plague on this land. Suddenly y’all don’t wanna talk native.