you know, the hot fire lego dude?

me = kai

also me is lifestyle jirai

Where is Cole,,,

1. If you weigh 99 pounds and eat a pound of nachos, are you 1% nacho?

If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean, or is the soap dirty?

Which orange came first—the color, or the fruit?

If two vegans are arguing, is it still considered beef?

When you’re born deaf, what language do you think in?

If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?

If Apple made a car, would it still have windows?

When we yawn, do deaf people think we’re screaming?

If you’re waiting for the waiter, aren’t you the waiter?

How do you throw away a garbage can?

If you buy a bigger bed, you’re left with more bed room but less bedroom.

Why aren’t iPhone chargers just called “Apple Juice”?

If you work as security at a Samsung store, does that make you a Guardian of the Galaxy?

When you feel bugs on you even though there are no bugs on you, are they just the ghosts of the bugs you’ve killed?

When you clean a vacuum cleaner, aren’t you the vacuum cleaner?

Nothing is ever really on fire, but rather fire is on things.

If life is unfair to everyone, does that mean life is actually fair?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Why is it called taking a dump when you’re leaving it?

Being down for something and being up for something mean the same thing.

If you’re in the living room, and you pass away, did you die, or are you just knocked out?

Why is the pizza box a square if the pizza is a circle and the slice is a triangle?

Why is it called a building when it’s already built?

How does a sponge hold water when it’s full of holes?

The blinks of your eyes get removed from your memory.

What would happen if Pinocchio said, “My nose will grow now?”

Actors pretend to work.

People who need glasses just got bad graphics.

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies, when you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Do clothes in China just say, “Made down the road?”

If your shirt isn’t tucked into your pants, are your pants tucked into your shirt?

If you’re invisible, and you close your eyes, can you see through your eyelids? nik.art 2/4

A fire truck is actually a water truck.

Why are deliveries on a ship called cargo, but in a car, it’s called a shipment?

If one teacher can’t teach all subjects, why is one child expected to study all subjects?

Are oranges named oranges because oranges are orange, or is orange named orange because oranges are orange?

What happens to the car if you press the brake and the accelerator at the same time? Does it take a screenshot?

The youngest picture of you is also the oldest picture of you.

If we have watermelon, shouldn’t we also have firemelon, earthmelon, and airmelon? The elemelons!

Why do we drive in parkways but park in driveways?

Your burps are just your puke’s farts.

If it rains on a Sunday, does that mean it’s now Rainday?

Clapping is just hitting yourself repeatedly because you like something.

Your alarm sound is technically your theme song, since it plays at the start of every episode.

The more you light your lighter, the lighter your lighter gets—until it’s too light to light.

History classes are only going to get longer and more difficult as time goes on.

What if every country in the world has ninjas, but we only know about Japan’s ninjas because they’re so bad at being ninjas?

Why is there a “d” in “fridge” but not in “refrigerator?”

Every book you’ve ever read is just a remix of the dictionary.

If you stab a cereal box, are you a cereal killer?

When you’re talking, you can’t breathe out through your nose.

Neil A. Armstrong was the first person to step on the moon. “Neil A” spelled backwards is “alien.”

You don’t need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Mirrors don’t break. They only multiply.

Humans cut down birdhouses to make more birdhouses.

If two mind readers are reading each other’s minds, whose mind are they reading?

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet you can tiptoe, but not tipfinger.

If “tomb” is pronounced “toom,” and “womb” is pronounced “woom”, why isn’t “bomb” pronounced “boom?”

How can you replicate the feeling of falling from high altitudes in a nightmare if you’ve never fallen like that before?

Ice cubes float in a pool of their own blood.

If you try to fail but end up succeeding, which did you actually do?

Why does food get cold but drinks get hot?

Why are they called “apartments” if they’re all stuck together?

Are robots that fix other robots engineers or doctors?

Are leaves called “leaves” because they leave the tree?

If you pour ice water on a hot dog, does it become a “chilly dog?” 3/4

You technically have two minutes to live, but every time you breathe, it restarts the timer.

The word “nun” is just the letter “n” doing a cartwheel.

Taxes are just a yearly subscription to the country that you live in. Childhood is the free trial.

If your parents always told you not to take candy from strangers, then what is Halloween?

Your eraser slowly dies because of your mistakes.

The number of people older than you will never increase.

If a fly loses its wings, is it now called “a walk?”

Would Lightning McQueen get car insurance or life insurance?

If you sweat in a sweater, does that make you the sweater?

How come your lips don’t touch when you say “touch,” but they do when you say “separate?”

If Earth is the third planet from the sun, doesn’t that mean that every country is a Third World country?

Light bulbs were such a good idea, they became the symbol for a good idea.

Lawyers hope you get sued. Doctors hope you get sick. Cops hope you’re a criminal. Mechanics hope you have car trouble. But only a thief wishes you prosperity.

They say the asteroid killed all the dinosaurs. You could also say it killed many birds with one stone.

Reading a book is looking at a dead tree and hallucinating.

When you say “forwards” or “back,” your lips move in that direction.

Popcorn is explosions, frozen in time, that you can eat.

Cold toilet seats are physically uncomfortable. Warm toilet seats are mentally uncomfortable.

Water is simply a drink where the temperature determines the taste.

“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” have the exact same meaning—except when you’re at a funeral.

Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do.

When you ask for someone’s name, you’re just asking what kind of noise you should make to get their attention.

Why does natural spring water that has been flowing for hundreds of years have an expiration date?

If you took care of chickens, wouldn’t that make you “a chicken tender?”

Why does your nose run but your feet smell?

If you take the value of pie (3.14) and hold it up to a mirror, it actually spells “pie.”

Water is just a portal to a universe where we can fly but can’t breathe.

If snails are so slow, why do we never see them coming?

Mosquitoes use blood to make their eggs. That means you’re one third their father.

When a pregnant woman goes swimming, she becomes a human submarine.

Are bugs born knowing they can walk up walls? Or do they just accidentally do it one day and go, “Check me out, dude!”?

National anthems can be considered country music. 4/4

Your head slowly 3D-prints your hair.

Bullets only do their job after they’re fired.

Babysitters are teenagers who act like grown-ups so that grown-ups can go out and act like teenagers.

Humans are the only species who pay to live on the planet.

What if they aren’t stars? Just holes poked in the container so that we can breathe?

There was a time before glasses. So that would explain many myths and legends.

When a student fails a test, is it the student that did bad or the teacher?

They say that chewing gum is 10 calories per piece. Do you have to swallow the gum to get the calories, or is that just from chewing it?

Spiders are the only web developers in the world that enjoy finding bugs.

We think people with eyeglasses look smart when, in reality, they failed the test to get them.

Claustrophobic people are perfectly fine with their brains being trapped inside their skull.

Two pregnant women boxing is like two babies having a mech fight.

Humans are afraid of being bitten by spiders even though we have more teeth, and spiders are afraid of being stepped on by humans even though they have more legs.

The movie Cars has sidewalks in it. Why?

Platypuses produce both eggs and milk. That makes them a portable source of omelettes.

Cowboys go “yee-haw,” and ninjas go “hee-yaw.”

The letter “W” starts with a “D.”

ATM fees is when you’re just buying your own money.

Water can boil you to death, freeze you to death, and drown you—yet you still needed to survive.

The opposite of “Microsoft Office” is “Macrohard Onfire.”

If the No. 2 pencil is the most popular pencil, why is it still number two?

Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?

Why are there no B batteries?

Why do British people never sound British when they sing?