花天狂骨

HE WOULD WATCH HIS KINGDOM FALL.  it felt like time and again, and many more.  walls crumbled. towers felled. the storm rolled in and wind filled up his mantle.  there was something jarringly beautiful about things being decimated —— something familiar.     the dimming of the halo, a fallen crown, swallowed by darkness.  like a kiss that went too deep and came to pronounce itself a DEVOURING.

as shunsui turned,  the floor collapsed under his feet.  he stood tall and unfazed.  did the shinigami see the ground sink in? the world receding when he was not looking? as if it existed only, only in his eyes?   while the other man, or mannish figure —— he the shadow, the spirit,  the haunting. following behind shunsui’s footstep and colorful coattail; the one smear of color that brought forth shape and form and light in the endless abyss.    he did not  f a l l .  not quite. there was no end and no bottom to this darkness.  in this darkness he was forever standing, forever falling … forever here on the cusp of existence and nought.

so he watched his kingdom fall.  all around him and behind shunsui, out of the peripheral of his sight in that one split second,  the portrait greyed and dissolved to ashes, walls collapsed to dust. all returned to the togetherness of the dark.  even while shunsui’s warmth still lingered on the tip of his fingers. still colored the sensation when he rubbed them together against his thumb … after the grand hall would’ve returned to pitch black nothingness behind him, and all before shunsui would turn to him in the new glowing light.

he raised a brow as if he hadn’t anticipated shunsui’s turn, that they would be face to face again so soon not even after a millennia.

‘SOMETHING TROUBLES YOU.’   he took the hand on his cheek, against the thickness of his beard, as an invitation to PROBE. or maybe he would’ve done it anyway. a very docile and tame dream he was not always.   ‘YET YOU WOULD NOT SHARE IT WITH ME.  I SHALL FIND THAT TROUBLING.’  he watched as the light crawled up and haloed around shunsui’s person. his shape. and raised a hand to lay atop of shunsui’s hand on his face.  ‘YOU ASK OF ME EXPLORATION. BUT WHAT EXPLORATION IS THIS,  IF NOT THE DEPTH OF YOUR SOUL, THE CONSTITUTION OF YOUR HEART,  —— AND THE RELATION OF US?’

“ ...what troubles me? the future, everything is fast to come and pass by. i can’t control it, and it frightens me. ”  

the shift is unending. ignorant as he is, skewed by his own insatiable curiosity, he doesn't even perceive how the environment adjusts against him. rejecting him. or perhaps he simply chooses to pay it little to no heed; to ignore the probability that his owninner world is in fact repudiating him. blissfully ignorant, he would deem himself. for he does not acquiesce the dangers of this unknown.

and this unknown, it feels familiar. warm. candid. it feels light. engulfing. grim. looming. voracious.

the contact tears him from this wide-eyed slumber. he peers into the gloom, and without remorse, it examines him with mirrored fervor. it consumes him akin to a beast lapping at the remains of its feed. it turns him into a hollow cur and brings him back to life. brand new and pristine. a speculum of his their very souls. and once his lungs recharge on breath, he's awake again. the darkness surges and dies when streaks of light engulf them. the bristles of his beard feel like limbs. creeping, inciting, searching. his body becomes a tree out of which hearts grow. he eventually smiles; and when he does the earth laughs flowers and the debris of a castle formerly unknown vanish like rain does during springtime. warmth floods him and doubt soon leaves his mind.

“ it's nothing. ”

nothing. the foreground flashes, and suddenly, there's nothing.

          Starrk can feel the atmosphere shift between the two.  Despite the bright sun overhead,  the blue sky,  the soft breeze   -   it seems as if it might begin to rain at any moment.  No,  not just rain but pour.  The former Primera knows Shunsui must feel it too,  the heaviness of it.  Or perhaps it wasn’t the atmosphere at all.  Perhaps it was the weight in his soul that radiated out and all around him.  He was aware that it had always been rather gloomy,  that loneliness to him was far more than an  ‘ aspect of death ’  but rather a thing he encompassed while living…  If what he was doing could be considered living at all.

          He cannot help the slight press of his lips,  the furrow of his brows,  the soft glare given to the man at his side when he makes such a promise without saying the word itself.  It wasn’t that Starrk didn’t believe that he would try but rather…  he was aware of the impossibility of it.  There were those above him who would not hear the matter further than whatever strings he had already pulled to keep him alive.  Unohana-san had been kind enough to him as she claimed it was her responsibility as a healer but…  he was sure the kindness did not extend much further beyond the two of them other than the Captain who had refused to fight Lilynette.

Speaking of which   -

          “…  I’m afraid it’s not much consolation.”  He ought be earnest even if it comes across as pessimism…  and who could blame him truly?  Hadn’t Starrk earned the right to feel in such a manner?  Everyone had been taken from him or at least he had been taken from everyone who might have survived…  All because of the number he had been designated.  The Primera had been a collar then as it was a collar now,  only the one who held the leash was different.  “And don’t say things that sound like promises so frivolously…  I’ve resigned to my fate here so I’ll give you no trouble about it.”

          “For both of our sakes it would be best if we come to that understanding now.  I  ‘ behave ’  and you don’t lie to me.”

               many would consider him a deceit weaver. a man of charades. a misleading individual who only enjoys seeing the way others attempt make something of the clues he arbitrarily tosses about. this time, no game of mischief is in order. he deems it futile and perhaps even more unnerving. the least thing he wishes to do in that moment is laugh in the face of a man who’s lost his motives to live. he’s been in that position many a times, and perhaps someday, he’ll be in starrk’s shoes again. 

                ‘ i know just as much as you do, i’m not playing tricks on you. ’ 

                for now, all he can do is try to assist the former espada in his fight meant to renew his outlook on the future that’s to come. starrk’s words echo throughout his head countless times. it’s as if he’s launching taunts, and whather that is his or isn’t his intention, shunsui is unsure of. the conversation treads into deeper and deeper waters, and he’s uncertain whether he should leave it as is or delve deeper. shunsui tries to sort his thoughts in order of pertinence. in order to ground himself, he lets a palm thread thorugh the chaos of raven strands at the back of his head. ‘ it’s a deal, then. ’

                  there’s a rumble in the sky that prohibits him from verbalizing his train of thought. a storm brews amid the laden chunks adorning the night’s sky. the streaks of moonlight that’d only just arrived are soon abolished by a blanket of rain. akin to a chime, the sound of droplets crashing against the still environment mesmerize him. perhaps their discussion prompted it. for a sign to come forth and beckon a clean slate for them both. kyoraku’s head faces skyward, his eyes resting if only for a moment while he’s taking in the rejuvenating spell of rain. after he manages to collect himself, he plants the most feeble touch upon starrk’s shoulder as if to reassure himself that he bears no ill intent. afraid of invading boundaries, the contact doesn’t last. he then gets up and looks himself over before turning to his new comrade with precise haste. 

          More like a babe than ever he seems displeased by what she’s said,  moving within her arms as though he might pull himself free and throw a tantrum over it.  BUT SHE WAS NOT WRONG.  A truth that the both of them knew better than anything.  Katen spoke to him all of the things that he did not want to hear,  from all of the deepest and most shadowed places of his heart and mind.  The hand once at his face yet released in his turn to his side now settles for combing into his hair.  She listens,  she watches,  she does not look away from him even as he reaches out into the abyss.

          “Sakuranosuke.”  Fingers like spiders legs entangle and twine as she listens to him spill the things she already knows.  He blames himself but when did he not?  It was the same tale told over and over and over and over   -   perhaps the both of them were going mad because of it.  That was the understanding of insanity,  wasn’t it?  To be stuck on a spinsters wheel repeating the same patterns of a never ending quilt.  Hmph.  How frustrating that the freedom she desired for him from such a fate felt nigh impossible.

          “Yes,  perhaps they would be…  but perhaps they would still be dead as well.”  Katen muses,  her fingers still caught in his hair.  She gives a light tug with the purpose of getting him to look at her again.  “Who’s to say?  …  Do you wish to carry the weight of every death around you on your shoulders for all of eternity?  You’ll drown yourself in such a foolish attempt to do so.  You must learn to let these things go.  I know,  it’s a concept that has always been difficult for you to grasp.”

               it puzzles him, how calmly she speaks of death. of pain. like a deer in the headlights, he’s caught off guard by the unprompted lecture. although he wishes to swerve away and disprove of her cruel antics, he can’t seem to find the power to do so. to some extent, she’s right. silently does he lean further into her embrace. the fingers that spider about his hair soothe the shame he’s laboring under more than her words do. 

                disallowed from speaking by the abrupt swerve of her grip, his eye bulks open and his brows furrow in dissatisfaction. when she so nonchalantly exclaims his middle name, it almost feels like a wake up call. it’s then that the epiphany dawns upon him like the rainfall does during summer. guilt. for too long he’s been experiencing it. and were it not for her, by now he would have left himself be ground by its unforgiving maw. ‘ i don’t. nor do i want them to be forgotten. they’ll be with me for as long as i live. ’

            to say he's been caught on unprepared heels would be a certain understatement. he'd been lying idly onto the ground, resting underneath the freshly blossomed wisteria and reviewing the protocol nanao had provided for their new comrade. his arms are crossed underneath his head and his kasa is sheltering his eyes from the ever-scorching summer sunlight. for a while, he’d been humming a tune that’d stuck with him ever since the former espada had joined them. unbothered, if only for a moment, he dares close his eyes. whatever figment of serenity he’d gathered during his break will soon come to shatter.

              the hems of his haori barely shield his bosom. and perhaps the inviting sight prompted the contact that’s to follow. a foreign touch weighs down his chest. it’s abrupt and cold, but it lacks the ever present hostility he’s grown accustomed to. at first, he’s unconcerned, thinking it’s hirako playing some type of practical joke. the thought is soon to be dismissed. the contact lasts perhaps a tad too long, and he grows increasingly wary of its source. kyoraku unfolds his arms and from his sprawled position sways the tip of his kasa upward. when he opens his eyes his irises blow open. the sight of his newly acquainted comrade garners an almost instantaneous reaction. a startled inhale precludes any reply he seeks to give.

              he ties to fight through a wet swallow to keep himself from shaking. some kind of befuddling arousal prickles hot underneath his skin. there’s a trickle of sweat beading near his temples. as much as he wishes to wrap his mind about the situation, he’s seems to be stuck in a stasis. it’s perhaps a bit too difficult to fathom the mere idea of this particular event taking place. he refuses to meet starrk’s eyes, so he instead dauntlessly dares to let his free palm slowly journey all the way from the sole pressing against his chest to the ankle it’s attached to. they curl around it and his nails dig against the exposed skin. shunsui’s eyes alight with amusement and he bares his impish grin like nightfall does the moon. 

            ‘ that’s rather brutish of you, starrk-san... ’

shunsui kyoraku + coyote starrk, on new beginnings & distance. 

@kageoni​​

𝐔𝐏 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍, her eyes traced a skyline brought low by war, the skeletal remains of their once proud horizon only now beginning to reach for the heavens once more. How the mighty do fall. Still, she supposed progress was progress. From the Soutaichou’s office the entirety of the Seireitei sprawled out beneath her, souls busy at work; though as fascinating as the view was, it did not concern her quite so much as the Soutaichou himself.

“Things are coming along nicely,” she began, turning with a soft clink of metal from her kanzashi. Shutara eyed him where he sat, his desk against the far wall, and wondered if it was the trappings of this new office that bowed his shoulders so. “Though there are a few loose threads." 

"Do you intend to allow the arrancar to rule themselves?” She counted three, at least, in between the battles, flashes of bone white masks. 

“…Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed how 𝙵𝙾𝙽𝙳 Vi has become of one of them.”

            she carries herself with unprecedented poise. her unprompted presence leaves him somewhat daunted, agitated amid the sea of formal documents scattered all across desk. despite the ever so enthralling allure and impeccable grace, the headcaptain never does forget who he stands before. a fiction weaver, a deceit breeder: senjumaru shutara could only ordain more trouble.

            from his spot where he sits almost motionless, he lifts a tentative hand in order to greet her. the problem with which she presents herself is amiable, manageable even. or so he thinks at first. it allows his chest to subside with a muted exhale. ‘ for now, i would pay them no heed. they’re in a position just as defenseless as we previously were, ’ he explains, angling the brim of his kasa with nervous fingers.  ‘ some of them even decided to help. ’

          Starrk turns his eyes away from the Captain as they walk,  instead taking in the scenery before him.  Of course it’s vastly different from Las Noches and even more so from Hueco Mundo.  Everywhere he looks there is some buzz of life between flora,  fauna and humanity alike.  Even Las Noches on it’s most lively days still held an air of sterility,  as if it wasn’t truly lived in…  perhaps because it hadn’t been.  His kin had been taken in and placed into a world that was entirely foreign to them.  Perhaps that was why he’d never truly settled in.  Lilynette  -  he stops that train of thought,  instead purposefully focusing on what the man at his side was saying.  He didn’t want to deal with that either.

          He had suspected that perhaps the other man had done something,  pulled some sort of string in his favor but the  ‘ why ’  eluded him when hearing it confirmed.  Their fight had been nothing but formality,  two men on opposite sides of a war…  but that didn’t mean they owed one another anything.  At least it hadn’t until he’d gone and saved his life,  now it was Starrk who was indebted.  He feels a little annoyed,  not because he thinks Shunsui will take advantage of that fact but because he’d not been given a choice.  He would have much rather died along with…  his jaw tightens a little bit as they come to stand before the bench.  In colorful display the Captain drops down to sit,  Starrk follows a few moments later with much more purposeful movements.

          “…  It may have been the first war I participated in but I know cruelty.”  He was Hollow,  he was Arrancar.  He had lived his life in the midst of brutality.  Of course it could never quite reach him but that in and of itself was cruel.  Hell for him had been the isolation,  until…  “I was told they couldn’t find her body.”

          Not that Starrk had expected them to but it’s that knowledge that bothers him most of all.  Everyone else…  well,  she had always been the one to try and bring them together.  He had often only vicariously participated in things because of her desire to bond outside of themselves.  The former Espada meets his gaze.  “I’m not unfamiliar with what it’s like to have no one to return to.  Even here,  surrounded by others,  it doesn’t change the fact that I still am alone.”

                  ‘ regardless of which side you’re on during war...  ’ he’d only just began speaking when starrk interrupts him, the gumption resounding in his tone foreign to the captain’s ears. it’s not gall that’s causing the former espada to be so caustic, but the resentment of being unable to protect and fight for the only affiliation he’s ever had. that much he knows. shunsui’s eyes remain fixed on starrk as he words his anguish. and despite being there with him, in that very moment, they’ve never felt more apart. the manner in which he speaks is cold and detached, but not in the ever so characteristic calculated way in which starrk normally addresses such concerns. 

               the suspicion amassing within starrk’s is hardly unnoticeable. his words alone are enough to bring a tinge of misery into shunsui’s heart. to an extent, he can feel his resolve shattering. and despite wanting to say something in order to assure the other that the future isn’t always as cruel and unforgiving as it may now appear, he can’t quite conceive a motive worthy enough to be spoken. after a short while, shunsui’s hands come to fall upon his knees where they rest for some time. he blinks and turns his head away, giving him a wandering side-eye as they carry on sitting in silence.  ‘ for now, i’ll do whatever is in my powers to let you go back unscathed.  ’

                 his brows remain knitted with quiet fury, his jaw a rigid line. with each deep breath his chest rises, subsides and then rises again. when he finally decides that enough time has passed, kyoraku tries to address his concern.  ‘ we’re nothing but wayward leaves scattered by an indifferent wind, ’ he muses, expecting his barrage to yield no reaction. ‘ the only thing you can do now is fight until all the remaining jagged edges of yourself knit themselves back together. ’ he, however, offers no suggestion on how to attain such result.

          Her hand is held fast beneath his much larger one,  to his cheek,  despite her attempt to remove it.  Of course he would not be so easy about things.  Katen relents for the moment,  allowing him to have his way as she turns back to look at him.  It’s not deserved,  she thinks,  but she’ll oblige him upon the dramatic verge of death that he clings.  More tendrils made fingers,  her free hand lifts to caress her own chin thoughtfully.

          “You  wound  yourself.”  Katen tuts.  There was no need to mince her words with him.  He ought to hear them clearly and precisely or else he may not receive them at all.  Her hand still caught beneath his curls,  nails lightly raking where she can to make further point.  “You stay near the end of  that  rope purposefully,”   (  with melancholic sigh she goes on  ),   “you cannot fool or lie to me,  you know.”

          “Don’t be so frivolous.  There is much still to be done.”  She hovers,  she looms.  “Fret not.  One day I will join you where you want to be but now is not the time for it.”

            ‘ mmm? ’ the correction has him perplexed. distraught, even. her words ring true to his ears. there’s no point in prevaricating. akin to an open book, she skims through the pages of his mind, uncovering each enigma with projected ease. one dilemma at a time. she is but a reflection of himself. soon enough, he reaches a fair conclusion. or at least that’s what he considers fair in that moment. 

            his spine straightens some, and he tries to get up, but it doesn’t take him long to realize that no place in the world is safer than the clutch of her embrace. shunsui’s grip loosens, and he turns on his side, averting his eyes while his throat lets out a defeated rumble. he stifles a befuddled laughter and then outstretches one of his arms, fingers spread, as if he attempted to grasp something that was too far out of reach. ‘ you have a way with words, my flower. ’

          “What’re you talking about?”  She was not about to deal with this  -  actually she was but certainly not in a way he was going to enjoy it.  “Your break has been over for fifteen minutes.  I was nice enough to give you that extra time so now you need to  get to it.  No complaining about it either.”

          Starrk remains passive,  observant of the smile upon the Shinigami’s mouth but for some reason it doesn’t seem to reach his eyes.  Unease works in.  Though he had been treated…  well thus far in his time in the Seireitei it didn’t mean he was entirely comfortable.  He had grown used to one building and the inhabitants within the Fourth,  they were easy enough people to be surrounded by.  They left him alone most of the time.  To see a familiar face,  one from the war he certainly tried  not  to think about…  well,  it wasn’t entirely unpleasant but it brought up a lot of things he’d been attempting to shove down.

          Perhaps the other man could sense it,  hence why he’s requesting him walk with him.  The word  ‘ requesting ’  used lightly.  It felt more like a subtle command.  Starrk could unpack that thought later.  He joins the Captain at his side,  pausing so that he might direct them where he wants them to go.  There’s a level of tension building up but it’s muted enough that the former Primera decides to ignore that too.  The question he’s given is unsurprising and he’s clever enough to read between the words and see the meaning.  Well,  he’d known it all along anyhow.  He’d had plenty of time to think while healing.

          “Starrk is fine.”  He remarks,  removing the cover settled over them.  There was no need for games and minced words.  Starrk gives him a long side glance.  “Well…  I think we both know there are only two options and only one of them is in my favor at all.  So let’s not pretend we both don’t know what one I’m going to take.”

              in spite of easily he notices the growing apprehension, kyoraku does nothing to dilute it. at least not at first. while his eyes are glued onto the paved pathway, he makes little effort to acknowledge the other with a sideward glance.  after hearing the former espada’s correction, he regards starrk with unserious curiosity.  ‘ starrk, yes, ’ blithely, he decides to adjust his address, although only momentarily. instead of calling him a previous title, one that bears a burden perhaps too heavy to carry, he’ll think of something else.

              ‘ mm, you catch on pretty quickly, no surprise there, ’ spoken more as a fact than an observation. his tone might seem pointed, but the playful lilt of his voice and the smile that’s ever present seem to contradict it. similarly to their previous battle, he carries no ill intent. he’s but a messenger wanting to deliver greater orders. ‘ there wasn’t much of a choice. the old man wasn’t sure what to do with you, ’ he explains, and so the admittance is rather plain, but no less true. ‘ i suggested you stay with us. at least for a while. ’