Wavy 🌊

1. Balancing my friend/relationships - the same amount of care i’m shown will be the same amount of care folks receive. can’t keep “caring so much” when others “just care”. i'ma just care now too. balance.

2. No more broadcasting my life - via social media, but mainly i mean through sharing with family, friends, and such about what i’m doing. knowing i have emotional support has always meant a great deal to me, so i am a sharer. before and while i’m doing or thinking of doing a thing, i share. and am often met with an “oh ok..” nonchalant deal rather than interest. so why share with folks who don’t really care? nah, that’s done.

3. Walk alone and be cool with doing so - reference number two. camaraderie, having a support system has become sort of an achilles tendon for me. it isn’t supposed to be a negative thing, but has become one for me personally because i’ve learned to lean on having one too much. so much so that, without it, or when what i thought i had proves to be me “loving hard”-er than i should, i’m in a dark place emotionally. this shouldn’t be. i should be good in all facets with or without people. so, learning to be my own cheerleader, my own support system is what i’m going to do. and trust that God and the universe will someday bless me with a real circle of friends who value me and want to spend time with me just as i will them.

4. Say what I mean - being direct has always been hard for me. mainly because i know i can be received as crass or insensitive if i am. but it dawned on me that i’m the only one out here caring about other people’s feelings. so why not just be direct. not just in areas of confrontation or negativity, but in trivial and positive areas too. i’m taking off the skates, i’m done skating around my words.

5. Know who’s who and maneuver accordingly - see numbers one through four. one in particular. for me adjusting my expectations and operating according to those adjustments that others have taught me to expect of them is critical. know what i know about a family member, a friend, a coworker, hell an enemy, and expect them to be just who they’ve shown me they are. there’s no right or wrong about it. people are who they are. we all come from different experiences. we all operate out of varying frames of mind. i’m going to expect people to be them, and stop expecting them to be me. because that’s what we tend to forget. not everybody is gonna value as you value, perceive as you perceive, maneuver as you maneuver. period. and it’s ok.

B L O O M