S’upp

Most Days I am afraid to wake up. When the weight of the world is on your chest. It’s usually easier to stay in bed. People that know me just assume I am sleepy. But that’s the tip of the iceberg. My Depression is my bed, it's my writing, it's when I change the colort of my hair and when I pierce my body. It's in my smile, in my companionship and in in my love. It's not separate from me, it is me. The Thing that frustrates me most is that I cant control how I feel even if everything is perfect I still find a way to feel like shit. I’ll lack the emotional energy even whilst talking to friends. Forcing laughs and smiles. Thats how I feel 80% of the time. Just empty. Between working and School, my head is always Spinning. I haven’t had time to sit down and do something that I love in months. Last night I did something that I love, that was music, singing, composing. There I realized why I do that...