seren
translated to little star
you were given that name for multiple reasons
you are the star i will never hold
you are my guiding star through the night
but you are also forever the brightest star that shines every night.
one year ago, i should have been bringing you home
a room decorated and prepared
a clueless mother, new to the newborn phase
many nights of no sleep, adoring you, watching you breathe
but i never got to that moment with you.
instead, i lay here crying again
never hearing your tiny heartbeat
never seeing any pictures of you
watching as everyone else gets their moments
feeling my heart break again for what feels like the millionth time.
the nights are getting dark again,
i watch the stars come out
and i’m awake long enough to see them disappear.
you never leave my mind,
now i question what your first word would’ve been,
what color eyes you would’ve had,
if you would’ve been a mama’s girl or mama’s boy.
i miss you in the small things,
the cravings,
the weight gain,
the morning sickness that stayed all day,
the smallest bump i started to have.
i miss you more today than i did yesterday and i’ll miss you more tomorrow my little star.
i hope you have the best birthday in the sky, seren lee.
happy first birthday baby, mama loves you.







