dodger

“hey, babe.”

you barely have time to look up before ningning body-checks you into the bushes like a damn football player.

“NING YIZHUO!” you shriek from the dirt. “WE ARE DATING. WHY ARE YOU STILL DOING THIS?!”

she peeks over the bush, grinning like she just pulled off the greatest prank in human history. “babe, it’s how i show my love.”

“SHOW IT SOME OTHER WAY,” you wheeze, still lying there like a crime scene victim. “LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE.”

she gasps, clutching her chest. “you think i’m normal? wow. you don’t even know me.”

“OH MY GOD—”

“hey,” she says, reaching out a hand. “sorry, sorry. let me help you up, yeah?”

you stare at her, fully expecting bullshit.

but eventually, you sigh and grab her hand—

—only for her to yank you up and shove you back down.

“NING YIZHUO.”

she wipes a fake tear. “you’re so easy to fool, love.”

-

you stomp into the cafeteria, leaves still sticking to your clothes. ningning is already at your usual table, kicking her feet and eating your favorite snack like she didn’t just assault you.

“hi, baby,” she coos, looking at you with those annoyingly pretty eyes.

you slam your tray down. “i hate you.”

she gasps, offended. “no, you don’t.”

“YES. I DO.”

“no, you don’t,” she repeats, yanking your sleeve so you reluctantly sit beside her.

“why do you insist on bullying me every day?” you grumble, stealing a fry off her tray.

she smiles, resting her chin on her hand as she studies you. “because i love you.”

you pause.

then you narrow your eyes. “so you’re admitting you’re a bully?”

“i’m your bully,” she says proudly.

“that’s not a flex, ningning.”

“it is when you’re my victim for life.”

-

after lunch, you’re walking to class when you feel it—

the ningning presence.

you glance over your shoulder. yup. she’s following you, looking suspiciously smug.

“why are you following me.”

“i’m not following you,” she says innocently.

“you’re literally walking in my exact direction."

“so? it’s a free country.”

“you don’t even have class in this building.”

she shrugs. “got bored. decided to spend time with my beloved gf.”

you squint at her. “you’re gonna do something stupid, aren’t you?”

“wow, baby, where’s the trust?”

“gone. DEAD. like my peace of mind since we started dating.”

she gasps. “rude. i’m literally the best thing that ever happened to you.”

“you shoved me into a fountain last week.”

“accidents happen.”

“you yelled ‘SPLASH DAMAGE’ before you did it.”

“okay but it was funny.”

you stop walking and stare at her. “do you even like me?”

she grins and leans in. “do YOU even like ME?”

you stare. she stares.

then she suddenly boops your nose.

“gotcha,” she whispers.

u got a crush. a massive crush. hallway crush type shit.

every day, same routine. giselle walks past, and suddenly, ur phone becomes the most interesting thing on earth. or the poster abt “choosing kindness” that looks like it survived a war. or the floor. wow. look at that tile.

u think u smooth.

karina thinks u r delusional.

“bro,” karina deadpans, catching u mid-phone-stare, “u are so embarrassing.”

u scoff. “idk what ur talking abt."

“u have been in this hallway at this exact time every day for three months.”

“…coincidence.”

karina stares. “coincidence my ass.”

then she pulls out her phone.

u get a bad feeling.

“what r u doing.”

“getting u a girlfriend.”

“WHAT—”

before u can tackle her, she yells out—

“YO, GISELLE! COME HERE!”

ur soul leaves ur body.

giselle, oblivious and gorgeous, walks over. “what’s up?”

karina grins. “y/n has something to say.”

she dips. leaves u to DIE.

giselle tilts her head, smiling. “yeah?”

u forget every language known to man.

“uhh… hi.”

she laughs. “hi.”

karina is behind her, aggressively motioning at u.

SPIT GAME, BRO.

ur brain malfunctions.

“i like ur—” u panic, “—shoes.”

…she is wearing crocs.

u r GOING TO JAIL.

but giselle?? giggling??? “thanks, i like urs too.”

karina facepalms. u can hear it.

“so,” giselle leans in slightly, “u gonna keep staring at me in the hallway, or are u finally gonna ask me out?”

u r fighting for ur LIFE right NOW.

“uhhhhhh,”

“yes,” karina answers for u.

giselle laughs, pulling out her phone. “here. gimme ur number.”

u r about to drop ur phone out of sheer shock. somehow, miraculously, u manage.

giselle winks. “see u tmrw, hallway weirdo.”

she walks off, leaving u in ruins.

karina pats ur back. “ur welcome.”

u glare. “op behavior.”

she shrugs. “and yet, i got u a date.”

…okay. fair.

so boom. u got giselle’s number.

U HAVE GISELLE’S NUMBER.

but now u have a problem.

what the fuck do u text her.

karina watches u stare at ur phone like it personally owes u money. “bitch.”

“shut up, i’m thinking.”

“thinking about what?? ‘hi’ is free.”

“NO IT’S NOT, SHE’LL KNOW I’M OBSESSED.”

karina stares. “GIRL u been standing in a hallway for three months waiting to see her. she knows.”

u r betrayed in 4k.

“this is why ur the ops.”

“and yet,” she smirks, “ur still asking me for help.”

u have never known suffering like this.

karina snatches ur phone and types something. before u can tackle her, she sends it.

“U PSYCHO WHAT DID U DO—”

u look.

she texted

-

y/n

you like jazz?

-

…fucking kill me now.

“R U INSANE.” u r about to FIGHT.

karina cackles. “trust. if she likes u, she’ll think it’s funny.”

u sit there. waiting.

-

aeri

LMAO what 💀

r u abt to drop a bee movie monologue rn

-

OH.

OH WE MIGHT BE COOKING.

karina grins. “SEE??”

u r in disbelief.

“…so what do i say next.”

karina rolls her eyes. “bitch. ask her out.”

u freeze.

“right now?? isn’t there, like, a talking stage or something??”

karina grabs ur shoulders. “DO U WANNA DATE HER OR DO U WANNA ROT.”

…damn.

so u text.

-

y/n

maybe… but actually, u wanna grab coffee sometime??

aeri

ooo finally making ur move hallway weirdo??

i’m down <3

-

U WIN. U FUCKING WIN.

u stare at ur phone. then at karina.

“…did i just rizz.”

y/n should’ve known bringing karina to family dinner was a mistake.

the moment they walked in, their six-year-old cousin, minho, sprinted across the room, skidded to a stop in front of karina, and gasped so loud it echoed.

“OH MY GOD,” he whispered, clutching his chest like he was overcome with emotion. “YOU’RE… YOU’RE SO PRETTY.”

karina, ever the menace, crouched down to his level and smiled sweetly. “hi, minho. it’s nice to meet you.”

minho’s entire soul left his body.

his face turned tomato red, his knees buckled, and he let out the softest, most lovesick sigh y/n had ever heard.

then, he turned to them, scowling so hard it aged him fifty years. “you don’t deserve her.”

y/n blinked. “HUH???”

before they could process that insult, minho grabbed karina’s hand and held on for dear life. then, with all the confidence in the world, he said,

“you can go home now.”

karina bit her lip to keep from laughing, but y/n was outraged. they turned to their family, expecting SOMEONE to defend them, but everyone just looked like they were watching a drama unfold.

y/n’s own blood had betrayed them.

-

minho sat right between y/n and karina like a tiny, angry guard dog. every time y/n even tried to touch karina, minho blocked it like a security system.

at one point, y/n stretched their arm over karina’s chair, only for minho to physically remove it.

"personal space, bozo," he snapped.

y/n turned to their aunt. "can we return him? i feel like we can still get store credit."

"unfortunately, no," she sighed. "we lost the receipt."

minho smirked in victory.

karina? she was having the time of her life.

"minho, do you want more rice?" she asked sweetly, patting his head.

"only if you feed me," he replied, dead serious.

y/n nearly choked on air. "BRO, USE A SPOON—"

minho ignored them as karina, grinning, picked up a spoonful of rice and held it out for him. minho took the bite like he was a prince being doted on, then turned to y/n with the SMUGGEST EXPRESSION ON EARTH.

"yeah, that's right," he mumbled through his food. "cry about it."

y/n was about to throw hands with a LITERAL CHILD.

after dinner, y/n FINALLY managed to steal karina away to the living room. they had her all to themselves. peace. tranquility. romance.

…or at least, they thought so.

because the SECOND they leaned in to rest their head on karina’s shoulder, MINHO APPEARED FROM THE SHADOWS.

like ACTUALLY. like HE CAME OUT OF NOWHERE.

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT."

he wedged himself between them like a tiny, aggressive chaperone, then crossed his arms like he was about to kick y/n out of their OWN HOUSE.

“bro,” y/n hissed. “do you even know what personal space is?”

“do you know what boundaries are?” minho shot back.

y/n was about to LOSE IT. but before they could, karina turned to them, grinning like the little shit she was.

"are you jealous?" she teased.

y/n scoffed, arms crossed. “of a six-year-old? no way.”

karina’s smirk widened. she leaned in real close, her lips right by y/n’s ear.

"then you won’t mind if i give minho a kiss on the cheek, right?" she whispered.

y/n’s soul EXITED their body. minho overheard this and IMMEDIATELY sat up so straight his back CRACKED.

"PLEASE," minho begged.

y/n, panicking, GRABBED KARINA'S HAND AND STOOD UP IMMEDIATELY.

"ACTUALLY IT'S GETTING LATE. WE REALLY SHOULD BE GOING. BYE MINHO."

they YANKED karina out the door, SLAMMING IT behind them.

from inside, minho’s BLOODCURDLING SCREAM echoed through the entire house.

as soon as they were outside, karina burst into laughter. "oh my god, i can't believe you got jealous of a six-year-old."

y/n groaned, burying their face in their hands. "YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. that little menace is gonna make my life a LIVING HELL for this."

karina giggled, lacing her fingers with y/n’s. “don’t worry,” she whispered. “i only have eyes for you.”

y/n sighed in relief, but then their phone buzzed.

enemy #1 “sleep with one eye open, bozo.”

y/n stared at the message, fear settling in. they could already hear minho’s evil little giggles in their head.

…yeah.

y/n had exactly three minutes of peace every morning before the student council president descended from the heavens (or, more accurately, the third-floor council room) to ruin their day.

three minutes. that’s all they got before—

“your tie is crooked.”

y/n closed their locker door to see none other than kim minjeong, aka winter, aka the demon personally assigned to make their life hell. she was standing there with her arms crossed, radiating authority and judgment, like a CEO about to fire an employee for breathing wrong.

before y/n could even protest, a neatly folded detention slip was slammed into their chest.

“bro.” y/n blinked. “are you serious right now?”

winter gave them a once-over, eyes filled with the usual disgust she reserved just for them. “rules are rules.”

y/n glanced down. their tie was, at most, 0.0000001 centimeters off-center.

“you’re joking.”

“i don’t joke.” winter clicked her pen, which was basically the school equivalent of cocking a gun.

y/n groaned, snatched the slip, and dramatically shoved it into their pocket. “you just like giving me detentions, don’t you?”

winter tilted her head like a malicious Victorian cat. “if you followed the rules, you wouldn’t be my problem.”

“oh yeah? what about last time? when you wrote me up because my shoelace was untied?”

“someone could have tripped over it.”

“and the time you gave me a warning for having my hands in my pockets?”

“poor posture. reflects badly on the school.”

“AND WHEN YOU THREATENED TO SUSPEND ME FOR BREATHING TOO LOUDLY!?”

winter blinked. “i don’t recall that one.”

y/n narrowed their eyes. “because i made it up.”

winter’s lips twitched.

SHE ALMOST SMILED.

ALMOST.

y/n’s brain short-circuited. had they just… witnessed a human emotion from the student council terminator??? no. impossible. she was built in a lab to maintain order and hand out unnecessary punishments.

winter smoothed out her blazer. “fix your tie before the next time i see you,” she said before disappearing like a well-dressed cryptid.

-

naturally, y/n did not fix their tie.

so when lunch rolled around, winter materialized at their table before they could even take a bite of their food.

she didn’t even say anything. just placed another detention slip in front of them like she was serving them divorce papers.

y/n slammed their hands on the table. “YOU’RE OBSESSED WITH ME.”

winter crossed her arms. “don’t flatter yourself.”

“then why am i the only one you terrorize? huh? why not mark or jeno? they break rules all the time!”

winter shrugged. “they’re not my problem.”

“but i am?”

winter smirked. “unfortunately.”

y/n blacked out for a second.

did minjeong just smirk at them?

no. no, no, no. that was illegal.

they squinted at her. “are you enjoying this?”

winter raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow. “you’ll never know.”

then she turned and walked away, hair bouncing with every step like she was in a shampoo commercial.

y/n stared after her.

there was no way.

no way in hell.

…but did minjeong like them???

-

detention.

y/n sat at the back of the empty classroom, arms crossed, waiting for their punishment.

the door creaked open, and in walked winter—alone.

y/n’s jaw dropped. “YOU’RE MY DETENTION SUPERVISOR!?”

winter set her clipboard down. “no. i’m here because i also have detention.”

y/n blinked. “for what? excessive micromanaging? tax fraud?”

winter gave them a look. “the teacher said i was ‘abusing my power.’”

y/n grinned. evil. “so even they think you have a personal vendetta against me.”

winter sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “just shut up and start cleaning.”

y/n smirked, picking up a broom. “yes, ma’am.”

for the next twenty minutes, they swept the classroom in silence—well, almost silence, if you ignored y/n humming the mario kart theme every time winter walked past them.

finally, as y/n wiped down the whiteboard, they caught winter staring at them.

like actually staring.

“what,” y/n said, raising an eyebrow.

winter looked away, suddenly interested in the floor. “nothing.”

y/n leaned against the desk. “you think i’m hot, don’t you?”

winter scoffed. “absolutely not.”

“you totally do.”

“shut up.”

“just admit it.”

“i’m giving you another detention.”

y/n laughed. “you literally can’t, you just got stripped of your power.”

winter gritted her teeth.

y/n took a step closer. “sooo,” they dragged out. “if you don’t actually hate me, then why do you keep picking on me?”

winter didn’t say anything. just glared at the floor.

y/n’s smugness disappeared.

“…wait.” they blinked. “do you actually like me?”

silence.

more silence.

and then—

”…shut up.”

y/n almost dropped dead.

THERE WAS NO WAY.

“OH MY GOD.” they gasped. “YOU DO.”

“no, i don’t.”

“YOU TOTALLY DO.”

“i literally don’t.”

y/n took another step forward, eyes gleaming. “so if i asked you out right now, you’d say no?”

winter looked like she was going through all seven stages of grief.

“…hypothetically,” she muttered. “i would say yes.”

y/n exploded internally.

but on the outside, they just grinned.

“cool,” they said, picking up their bag. “then i’ll pick you up after school.”

winter’s face was so red she looked like a walking fire hazard.

“SHUT UP.”

y/n just laughed.

as y/n walked toward the door, they couldn’t resist.

right next to the light switch, glowing in all its forbidden glory, was the big red emergency button.

the one that, when pressed, would blare an ungodly alarm across the entire school.

y/n stared at it.

it stared back.

and in that moment, their intrusive thoughts won.

click.

the room was immediately filled with the most ear-splitting, soul-crushing, brain-cell-destroying siren known to mankind.

winter whipped around so fast she could’ve gotten whiplash.

“ARE YOU INSANE?!” she shouted over the blaring noise.

y/n, tears in their eyes from laughter, bolted out the door. “SEE YOU AT OUR DATE, BABE!!!”

they made it five steps before—

“Y/N.”

y/n froze.

slowly, they turned around.

winter stood in the doorway, a fresh detention slip in hand, looking like she was about to end their bloodline.

“another. fucking. detention.”

y/n just grinned.