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Remember back in the 80s where any trip to Panama City Beach meant seeing the Miami Vice colored pink and teal Lifeguard tank tops? Man how I miss those days. And if you were serious about your bf or gf, you made it official with matching airbrushed t-shirts?

How does that even happen? What kind of troubleshooting steps does one have to perform before being able to say with all certainty that, yes, that fitting room is most definitely out of order?

Is there a door? Yep, there's a door.

Does it close? Yep. Dadgum it.

I've had several ideas for videos that wanted to record and post online. Several of these were conceived and fleshed out with my friend and partner-in-crime, Derrick (the Monk) Ward.

Derrick has the gift of being a tall, thin young man who, when he allows the hair on both his face and top of his head to grow out, bears an uncanny resemblance to J.H. Christ or, should he don a robe with accompanying head cover, a fellow of Middle Eastern descent.

The best thing about him, though, is his irreverent and rather askew sense of humor. In that, we are two peas in a pod. As such, many of our skits tended toward dark humor. Some were darkly humorous in the setting they were generated.

One such idea was having Monk dress up in the aforementioned ethnic clothing and visit one of the few remaining video arcades open in a nearby mall. One of the games they had at this arcade was a jumbo jet simulator. I had the idea of him walking in, looking around nervously, and sitting down at the game. Shortly after lift off, he was to crash the plane into a virtual building and then jump up flailing his arms over his head yelling the "ALALALALA!" chant. The plan was to have 4 or 5 cameras positioned around to get reaction shots of the crowd and then edit the whole thing together and post it online. Needless to say, he was a bit concerned for his safety, so we never did this. Dammit.

But he doesn't. So I sit there and wonder if there is anything I can do to help.