ambivalence

i remember sitting on a hospital bed and waiting for new episode. i needed to distract myself from thinking about illness or "bad" stuff. idk being in a hospital for 2 years with nothing to do isn't something you can endure that long. my best friend couldn't be with me everyday because we were so little back then and he needed to go to school. so, one day my friend showed me bleach. we watched 5-6 episodes with together and he said "i wish that i could be like ichigo so that i can save you" we were little kids and what he said was maybe funny but i still remember how i felt that day. because of this bleach has a special place in my heart. after i started getting better whenever i watched a new episode or read a new chapter i felt some kind of nostalgia which made my heart warm. bleach helps me to remember good times i have spent with my friend at that time and also the bad times i had experienced. it makes me happy even just thinking about it. brings so many memories to me.