I'm an ISTP, yet I'm still questioning if that's truly me.
The zodiac sign is Libra.
More about me
I love writing; what I write here expresses what's inside me. Every story I post contains a part of me.
I hate change, while my soul is always changing. You will find me in love with old and historic things, while you will find me immersed in loud Japanese songs.
I'll tell you that I love Lana Del Rey, and then I'll tell you that I love Hatsune Miku. Something is fishy, right?
I like most of the vibes; my soul is unstable, but it doesn't hate what it used to love because it still does.
Yet somehow, I'm still that girl you see as introverted, the one who loves peace and quiet places and has her own small social circle.
What I write
For now! I have written the following:
One pull, one soul
Elsewhere
I'm still working on several stories, so stay tuned!
Other
I love retro and old things, so I tried Spacehey (still working on it), Don't hesitate to use it and express yourself!
My Spacehey: https://spacehey.com/juv4llee
My Spotify: Sayu
Feel free to ask whatever you wish, my asks are always open!
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At an old building, a girl was climbing its rickety steps, which looked as weak they might collapse at any moment.
As usual, she paid no attention to the building or the people watching her from the apartment blocks.
One of them said, "She's definitely headed there." Another said: "To the drunken fool?" He replied: "Shhh! Or he'll hear us."
She was heading towards the apartment of her dearest friend, Sera, the one she had met three years ago.
She knew more about Sera than anyone else, about her mother who had recently passed away, and about her father who felt he had lost life after his wife's death and began trying to forget everything through drinking and drugs.
She stood in front of the apartment door for a moment longer than usual, like her body needed time to accept something her mind hadnβt yet understood.
She knocked.
A few seconds passed before the door opened halfway.
Her father stood there, looking exactly the same as alwaysβtired, careless, a bottle hanging loosely from his hand.
"Haha look who's here! Emily again"
Emily said: "good afternoon sir-"
βI told you she died.β
The sentence slipped out of him too quickly, like it wasnβt meant to be said out loud.
She froze. ββ¦What?β
He frowned, clearly irritated by her reaction. βWhatβs wrong with you? Why are you looking at me like that?β he muttered, raising the bottle slightly. βYou think Iβm crazy? Hah? Because of this? Iβm not.β
Then he let out a dry laugh, then his expression hardened.
βActually, I donβt care anymore. Just get out of my face.β
"but sir what if she's not!-"
He stepped back, pointing lazily toward the stairs: βOr Iβll throw you off this building.β
The door shut before she could say anything else.
"UGHH F*CK YOU YOU MORRON!"
...
She didnβt remember how she got to the stairs. Only that her vision blurred, and at some point, her foot slipped. She fell, catching herself too late, She began to cry, without making a sound.
But the pain didnβt matter. She stayed there for a while, sitting on the steps, her shoulders shaking.
βWhat made her dieβ¦?β The question didnβt sound real, even to her own ears.
The next morning came too soon.
She hadnβt slept. Not really, Her eyes were swollen, her thoughts scattered, everything around her feeling distant, like she was moving through something that wasnβt quite real.
On the bus, students laughed, complained, lived and shared things that suddenly felt meaningless.
She sat by the window, earphones in, playing the same song over and over.
Sera's favorite song.
And then, without warning, Something unexpected came to her mind:
Sera's diary.
The moment the bus stopped, she got off quickly, ignoring the noise around her. She walked faster than usual, then faster, until it turned into something closer to running.
She stopped in front of the locker, her hands already reaching for it.
"..."
While she was checking her pockets. "WHERE'S THE KEY?"
Nothing. βOh, come onβ¦β
Then she turned, heading straight toward the classroom. Upon examining the place, she found it as it was, stuck in there with old, dried gum, exactly where it had always been. She pulled it off and went back.
The locker opened with a small, dull sound. Inside, nothing has changed at all, and neither have the diaries.
She took the diary and opened it immediately.
The first page:
If you're not mom, then don't open it.
Then, scribbled underneath in a different tone:
God⦠why did I even write that? Go to hell, whoever you are.
She flipped through the pages quickly, not really reading, just searching. Until she reached the end.
The last page was different. Sera's handwriting was completely messy. Like it had been written in a hurry... or with too many thoughts at once.
This is your chance, Sera. Either today or there'll be no way.
Her eyes moved faster.
I just need that idiot to go back to his bar againβ¦ then Iβll steal it to meet my mommm!
A strange line of laughter followed.
HAHAAHAHAAHAHAA-
Then it stopped.
Haaaaah.. I wonder⦠will Emy find out about me? Or will she even care if I disappeared from life?
Doesn't matter.
Final.
She stared at the page for a long time. For too long.
Then the notebook slipped from her hands, falling to the floor with a soft sound that felt louder than it should.
"The hell do you mean, Sera?..."
Her voice barely came out.
The rest of the day passed, but she wasnβt really there for any of it. Her body moved from class to class, responding when needed, nodding when spoken to. But her mind stayed somewhere else. With those words. With that unclear sentence.
With the feeling that something had already started⦠and she was just late to it.
By the time school ended, she didnβt hesitate. She headed straight for the exit.
And then she saw him. Leaning against his car like he had been waiting for a while.
Her brother. The therapist that Sera had started seeing months ago following Emily's advice.
βFinally,β he said, pushing himself up slightly. βI had to come get you myself.β
She didnβt slow down. βNot now. Just leave.β
He shrugged, already turning away. βFine. Your loss.β
He opened the car door to go home alone.
Then paused.
Because she was heading toward him, without any emotion. He closed it again, raising an eyebrow: ββ¦Huh?β
She stopped in front of him, catching her breath:
βComing with you makes things quicker, but-β
A brief pause: βI want to talk to you about Sera.β
"Then may I open the door for you, ma'am?" He said.
In the car, he said: "You know everything I know."
"Then where is she?!" Emily said, banging her head against the car. "What did you talk about the last time she came to see you?"
"I can't divulge patients' secrets, Emily," he said with a sigh. Emily kept staring at him in a terrifying way.
"Whaaat? I'm telling you the truth."
"Did she said anything about stealing something?"
Silence filled the car, a deathly stillness. Her brother was in shock, trembling as he stammered, "D-Did she steal it?"
"What is it!?"
"...no it's nothing"
"I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T TELL-"
"A BOOK."
...
"what?" Emily said.
He started driving slower so he could talk more comfortably. "There was a book, she said she's trying to get, but it's in her father's room."
Then he said: "She used to say that this book belonged to her father, and that it was rather... a book of magic.
I asked her many times if she was sure of what she was saying, and she said that she was absolutely sure."
He continued: "Miss Jenner, she died near the river, you know. They found a mutilated body there, so badly mutilated you couldn't make out her features. Heh, that's what her father said."
"Sera told me that after his wife died, her father started every day at 2:00 a.m., calling his missing wife's number and talking to her, saying, 'You stole one of the books, you whore, you wanted to left me. Why did you do this? Why? Why!!?' "
"Oh man..." Emily said. Then: "why don't he throw all these books?"
"It keeps him alive."
"...?"
"Look, I don't believe in all these nonsense, but.. "They are books for summoning demons,Sera said, Without these books, neither her father nor she would be alive."
Then he continued: "The last time Sera tried to take it, her father had forgotten his phone and returned from the bar, and he saw her"
"then..?"
"Nothing, she just came to me with a head injury that caused bleeding."
"Why didn't you tell me!?"
"She told me not to tell you."
...
"Take me to Sera's house."
The car stopped in front of the building, the same one Emily used to look at with such lively eyes whenever she came for Sera.
"Don't try anything reckless," her brother said.
"F*ck you," she said as she closed the car door. "Both."
After three hours:
Emily was sitting at the far end of the floor so Sera's father wouldn't see her. She was thinking, "Damn it, just get out, get out, get out!"
Then, she heard that man's voice shouting from inside the apartment: "I don't care about anything anymore, you b!tches !!" Then he left the apartment while calling someone: "Hey man! Anything stronger than last time?? Everything's on me today, HAHAHA!"
When he left the building, Emily was like: "YESS finally" Then she sneaked into the apartment. Yes, it didn't have a key because he had nothing to steal from.
"What the hell is that smell.." then she opened the father's room, she found women's dresses on the ground with underwear.
"OH MY GOD YOU PERVERT." After that, She kept searching for any book But she found nothing. The wardrobe, the bed, underneath it, among the clothes, the bathroom.
"Where is it?? I literally searched everywhere." Then she kept thinking to herself until she heard the sound of that crow, strangely clear: "Is it possible that this madman is raising a crow?" Then she began to follow its sound until she reached it.
She was surprised.
"He was not, but HERE IS THE DAMN BOOK!" She found it outside the apartment on a tree branch. That man had thrown him there from the window; he had truly given up.
She definitely took the book, then quickly opened it, but it was empty. It literally contained nothing.
"Ha! The devil's trick, huh?" Then she uttered Sera's father's name.
The letters reappeared automatically, then the pages of the book began to turn, until a page was written on it with a very strange voice: What is the matter that you wanted me for, you slave?
Emily was like: OH LORD, AHEM- My glorious master, I was wondering where my daughter is now.
The unknown voice: Name.
"What-"
"I WANT NAMES!"
"OH yes of course of course, her name is Sera"
Silence filled the room, until the devil broke it: βHmm, slave, didnβt you give her to me?β
"Wait WHA-"
The devil interrupted her, saying: Or perhaps you're drunk again?
Emily saw an unmissable opportunity so she can know more about anything that could help, so: "AHEM, what do you mean I'm drunk?! Just a few bottles~"
"... You're not my obedient servant."
"I AM-"
"SILENCE!"
...
"What's your name?"
"... it's Emily."
Silence filled the apartment, broken only by the devil's laughter: "Hahaha, girl, you came to me by yourself!"
"What the hell do you mean?"
"Listen, that man gave me his daughter as a victim to bring his whore back, he didn't know that I was having fun eating her, and then I threw her away, but that maroon believed the devil's promise, so here's the result!"
Then he said: "He let his little girl, Sera, have a chance to get one of my books, and now she's with me and I'm preparing very well to eat her tonight, now there's only one meal to unlock my f*cking curse so I can be free again.
But, Sera wanted to live, so she told me your name, Emily, to have you instead of her, she wanted to live. And I ONLY need names so I can summon them to my place and then, eat them."
"she would not..."
"Oh Sera, poor thing, she also believed in the devil's promise."
Emily laughed, at what she heard, at what was happening, at herself.
"I can't hide, you'll find me wherever I am, yeah?"
"That's a sure thing, darling."
Emily took her last breath,
before the demon emerged and dragged her back into the book.
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itβs a shattered mirror reflecting lost souls. The deep blue hides behind it the screams of stars that died centuries ago, and the clouds drift by like soft ghosts searching for shelter.
Beneath it, the sea doesnβt sleep, it dreamsβ¦ dreams of the collapse of light, of the return of shadows, of a voice rising from the depths that cannot be understood.
yet can never be forgotten. Everything is blue⦠but not every blue is peace.
"Do you think something can love you back if it was never meant to exist?"
The lighter clicked twice before the flame held. He lit the cigarette, then passed it to her.
"That's a weird question," she said, taking a slow drag. "Like... a ghost?"
He shook his head. "No, not dead. Just..never alive."
She looked at him sideways. "You're talking about her again, aren't you?"
He smiled, tired. "I guess I am."
"Alright," she said, blowing smoke into the dark. "Tell me the story again. I like the way you tell it."
He leaned back on the hood of his car. "Okay. I was thirteen. Lonely, you know how that goes. I didn't have anyone, so I made someone up. Not just in my headβI wrote her. Pages and pages. Who she was. What she liked. How she laughed. Every day, Iβd add something new. And the weird part? She felt real. Not pretend-real. Real real."
"That's kind of sweet."
"Yeah. Until she started writing back."
There was a pause. Even the crickets felt quieter for a moment.
"What do you mean?" she asked slowly.
"Iβd leave the notebook closed. I'd come back and find new pages. Words I didn't write. Different handwriting. Little notes in the margins, like she was talking to me. Joking with me. Sometimes arguing."
She stared. "So... like possession?"
"No. She wasnβt evil. She was... strange. Smarter than me. Knew things I didnβt. I asked her once how she knew, and she wrote: βYou made me whole enough to wander.β"
Silence again.
"What happened to her?"
He flicked ash into the gravel. "I stopped writing. I got scared. What if I didnβt make her? What if she just... found a way in through me? I burned the notebook."
"And?"
"I still get messages sometimes. Not on paper. Just... in my head. Like she's waiting."
Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Do you think sheβs real?"
He looked up at the sky. "I think some things become real if you believe in them hard enough."
She didnβt speak after that.
A train passed in the distance, and neither of them looked up. Somewhere in the trees, an owl called twice and went silent.
Two months later,
the smell of cigarettes filled the apartment.
The creaking of the worn wooden floor echoed.
She sat on an old couch.
Her friend walked in.
"So... do you believe what's happening?" her friend asked.
"I do. Why wouldn't I?" she replied.
"That was the last thing he said to me," she continued, "then he went to the lake... and never came back."
"Why do you think he went there?" her friend asked.
"He burned that fuckin notebook there. He wanted to see if anything was left..." she paused.
"The next day, I found him... floating in the lake."
Her friend laughed.
"Do you seriously believe in that nonsense?!"
"That damned owl was watching me," she said. "I swear it wasnβt a normal owl..."
"That man was amazing. You were lucky to be with him," her friend said.
"Iβll follow him. Believe me."
"And how exactly will you do that, you crazy woman?"
"I did exactly what he did..."
Her friend coughed from her cigarette.
"Youβre losing your mind, lady."
Silence.
"Letβs see where your Crazy leads," her friend muttered.
"She was made of midnight and sorrow, with a heartbeat stitched from stardust. The moon adored her loneliness, and the stars envied the way she danced in the dark."
