Forever and always

Honestly speaking, I’m one of those people who can’t handle rejection. Who wants that? No one. But I guess rejection loves me. It happens to me a lot. Like always.

But thank God that those things happened. Last Monday (December 14), I went to apply for a job. I had a feeling that it was a job wherein you will go to houses and sell products yet I still went there. I don’t know why but I just tried. And guess what? It really is that kind of job. But the things here is I learned something.

I went to houses with the dealer and showed me what they’re doing. Some people wouldn’t let you in. Rejection is always there. Then the dealer said, “It’s okay. There are still a lot of houses.” And we continued as if nothing happened. I had fun. Then we went back to their office. His husband asked me “What do you feel when someone rejected you?” And right there I answered “It’s okay. Not everybody will like it” without hesitations. I was shocked with my answer.

A lot of people asked me why I always sleep late. Ofcourse my answers would always be “I don’t know. i just can’t sleep. That’s all.” But the truth is, I always sleep late because I’m watching a serie or movie, playing games, reading or anything until I fell asleep. Everyday I do that because I wanted to distruct myself just so I don’t have to cry myself to sleep and think about all those things that I failed to do. And yes, it’s effective. It became my escape.

Little did I know that it’s killing me. Oh wait, no. I’m killing myself little by little. I suddenly saw my reflections in the mirror. Pimples started to invade my face and dark circles formed around my eyes. I was shocked. I made all these things. I made myself suffer even more.