And The Smallest One Was Madeline

Straight Person™: No homo, but your haircut looks good on you.

I pass these two guys and they whistle and one made cat noises and one asked “hey missy, where are you going dressed like that?”

and I was trying to walk past but it looked like they were about to follow me so I tried to say “back off” or “go to hell” but I was flustered because I’ve never been catcalled before and I said loudly “BACK TO HELL”

When I first heard about substituting a freaking cauliflower in place of chicken or beef as a roast, I thought okay as a vegan, I can actually say vegans have gone too far…

Until now. Roasting cauliflower is pretty simple really. Stick it in the oven then eat it, but it’s really about getting the right texture and flavour. When done right, cauliflower is tender and meaty, and you can eat the whole head without feeling sick. This is a beginners guide on how to make the perfect Cauliflower roast.

You’re going to start with a head of cauliflower, washed with the leaves removed. I baked mine in a cast iron skillet, but you can use any baking dish. Be sure to cut the leaves carefully and not too much of the stall or else the head will fall apart.

You’re then going to rub the cauliflower with a garlic dressing. To make it, blend or mash with a mortor and pestal:

5 cloves of garlic 2 tblsp olive oil ½ tsp cayenne ½ tsp sage Salt and pepper to taste I used a pastry brush to ensure all the flavour encasef the cauliflower, but you can use your hands too.

Next, cover with foil and bake for 1 hour at 350 C. After then, remove the foil and bake for an additional 20-30 minutes until golden brown and crispy on top. I served mine with sauteed Brussels sprouts, but this would go well with anything you’d serve with a roast, even just on its own.