dʒʌstɪs/

Tomorrow, June 20th 2022 will be my official first job (before I had a job as a writer and photo editor but I was just working from home so i don’t really consider it as my first job). While I am waiting for my documents to have a job related to my college degree, I applied for an all around job in an asian market nearby. Tomorrow will be my first day of training. I am kinda excited to meet new people and endless possibilities of new experiences and new learnings. 

the fuck is wrong with people?! 

I don’t know, I’m not sure but it feels like people have the tendency to be turned off if they see the other side of me. Like if they met me somewhere and see my social media or if they met me in social media and see me in person. It feels like people nowadays are inconsistent. 

I kept telling myself that I can’t feel anything but I remember what Jason Gideon said in Criminal Minds -- “Not knowing what you feel, thats not the same as not feeling anything.”. 

One step closer to my dreams. I don’t know if I would call this a dream because I didn’t dreamt of this  moment when I was a little kid. I didn’t know back then that this would be my reality now. I used to think that I would end up in a kitchen cooking food for people or in a court defending my clients. When I was a freshman in high school I pictured myself in a theater doing a play portraying the story that I wrote. My high school experiences are mostly leaning on being a writer and a theater artist, that is why after graduation I applied in bachelor of arts in University of the Philippines Diliman. I also took the examination in Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Maynila but my mom said to take Nursing or Physical Therapy because those are the courses that are in demand in USA. I didn’t know what to do because I don’t have my own money, because they are going to pay for my studies that is why I took the course that they want. First years are the worst years, I wanted to quit for countless times, I wanted to change path but something is pushing me to continue the life path that I chose. I actually had a theme song for my college years LOL! -- You’re still the one by Shania Twain, “looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come my baby, we might a took the long way, i knew we’ll get there someday”. I failed subjects and diagnosed with depression, anxiety and panic attacks. After all the struggle, I graduated (well from a different school but so what right haha), I took the local board exam and passed. Now I am currently staying in Seattle, Washington with my sister and her family. Yesterday, April 8, 2022 I took one of the biggest steps of my career -- TO START. I sent my application for FCCPT and paid using my own card (well I can’t say that it was my own money because those are my savings from my allowances when I was still in college). Anyway, yeah, that’s my life lately. 

Is it normal to think about coffee at this time of the night? Can’t actually sleep because of the milktea I consumed hours earlier. 

So, yeah.. Hi! 

Hardin mong kinasasadlakan muling dadaanan

Bumalik ako sa tagpuang dati’y tayong dalawa ang laman. 

Ang sarap sa pakiramdam ng pag preno. Ang daming bagay ang maaari mong mapagtanto sa sandaling huminto ka. Maaari kang makapagpahinga ng iyong pisikal, mental at emosyonal na katayuan.

Aminin mo man o hindi, aasa at aasa ka ng kahit kaunti kahit isang porsyentong kapalit sa pag-ibig na ibinigay mo sa kanya. Ang daming tanong ang sasagi sa isipan mo, “Lalayuan niya ba ako?”, “Best friends pa din kaya kami?” at ang pinakamatinding tanong ay “Mahal niya rin kaya ako?” pero dadating sa puntong wala ng sasagot sa mga katanungan mong yan kung hindi ikaw dahil una pa lamang nasaiyo na ang desisyon kung kakaibiganin mo ba ng lubusan ang taong mahal mo. 

Hi!! Thank you. Kamusta naman na dito ngayon? 😀

May walong taon na din ata noong huling hawak ko ng Tumblr. Medyo tita na tayo ngayon. Hehe

Bakit nga ba ako bumalik? Simple lang. Sa palagay ko, oras na ulit para mag sulat.