Bust-A-Move All Night.

2018 brought me travel, laughter, love, and fun.

In the places that we met

I told myself that I would record my feelings for 7 days so when I look back on this, I’ll remember. I’ll remeber how I felt. How lonely I was. And I am now.

Day 7, I look at this painting he made for me on our 3rd date.

A picnic.

Outside in a park. We sat there and talked and painted.

I wear the bracelet he slipped off his wrist onto mine because I wasn’t feeling well.

Im ok.

I realized I’ll probably never stop wondering if he’s wondering about me. Does he miss me?

For anyone reading these posts, don’t feel bad for me. But know that everyone goes through heartbreak. Everyone has something they are dealing with.

Day 6 had me acting like a fool. I am a fool. I had a moment where I texted him.

Asking him questions I shouldn’t be asking.

I’m still hurt. But I’m better.

So many people have been texting and calling me giving me affirmations of love. Making me feel loved. Boosting my low self esteem.

I’ve been skipping a lot of meals because I’ve been so sad. I didn’t even realize. Today I did a solo date by myself. Spent 100 dollars on sushi and Don Julio shots.

TREAT YOURSELF.

I’ve received so many positive affirmations this week. People saying I’m kind, handsome, & worth it.

Everyday I wake up and look at this little mirror in my room and tell myself “you’re cute & you’re gonna be alright.”

I have gotten almost all the validations I needed from him. Almost all.

Day 5 is when I begin to thrive.

Every Wednesday I would update this Korean pop playlist for him. And myself. I found myself doing it today. Will he listen?

Day 4 is easier. The loneliness still lingers. He called me last night but my phone didn’t work at that moment to show who was calling. I texted to see what he wanted. He read it but ignored me.

I sent a longer text saying how it’s crazy for people to talk everyday all day to one day not talking at all.

I’m not as tired today. I should try to smile.