justauthoring

You've just walked in to the house behind Hyunjin, the two of you having returned from grocery shopping, when you hear it.

"I don't even know why you're making such a big deal out of this!"

"He was alone!"

"For five minutes!"

The conversation you and Hyunjin had been sharing amongst each other seconds ago halts as the two of you glance at each other in confused concern. Truthfully, you'd felt something off with your mark and you know Hyunjin had as well, but it hadn't been anything pressing, so you and Hyunjin had silently agreed to shop a little quicker and that was it.

If the distressed and sour scents permeating the air and the yelling was anything to go by, you figure it was more serious than you'd thought.

Hyunjin doesn't hesitate to rush ahead, one last glance back at you to make sure you're okay before trailing towards the kitchen. You, on the other hand, hesitate just a moment before following, feeling your heart rate pick up in a way that's all too familiar.

When you finally gain the courage to head to the kitchen, the entire pack is there, all with a mix of different expressions. Hyunjin, who was standing just slightly in front of you, bags of groceries still in hand, has his face twisted up in confusion and brows furrowed in concern.

Seungmin and Jeongin are standing further back, across from you, huddled close. Seungmin's face is schooled, but his eyes are watching the interaction in front of him carefully. Jeongin looks like he's about to cry, lips twisted into a deep frown. Felix is stood a little behind them, hands on his mouth, looking unsure whether he should say something or remain silent.

Your eyes drift to Changbin then. Changbin and Han. Changbin whose holding a trembling and crying Han who's got his head tucked into the alphas neck, pressed against Changbin’s scent gland, obviously trying to calm himself down.

Then, finally, you turn to Minho and Chan—the two who are currently in a yelling match with one another.

You've never seen either so angry. At least, not at one another. Minho's eyes are flashing a dangerous red and Chan's entire body has tensed, knuckles white, as the two glare at one another.

Swallowing thickly, you hug yourself.

"I thought we never left our omegas alone!" Minho yells, striking his hand out in front of him and gesturing towards Han, who in response whines and curls tighter against Changbin. "We agreed those were the rules!"

"I had no choice!" Chan says in return, face pinched in frustration as he presses his hand to his forehead. "The client was demanding I grab a different track! We can't afford to lose this client, and Han reassured me he'd be okay."

Minho scoffs at that, and it's so cold it pierces you right in the heart.

"Well, your precious client used that as a chance to try and force himself on Jisung!"

Gasping softly, you press your hand to your mouth, eyes flying to Han.

"Okay, that's enough, both of you," Hyunjin cuts in, sharp and heavy as he steps forward. You want to reach for him, enjoying the comfort he provides by staying close, but you ignore the urge, hugging yourself tighter. "What the hell is going on?"

Minho doesn't waste a second; "Chris left Jisung alone with their client and the asshole touched Jisung!"

Inhaling shakily, you feel your body tense.

Hyunjin's shoulders tense, and you can smell his scent sour as his eyes slowly flicker over to Han. The omega has finally pulled his face away from the crook of Changbin's neck, but the alpha is still holding him close.

"M-Minho-hyung," Han cries, voice small, shaky. "Please."

"No," Minho argues, surprising you. He's never one to deny Han, especially when he's so clearly distressed. "No, Jisung-ah. I'm sorry. But this is serious."

"You think I don't know that?" Chan cuts in, shaking his head. "You think I don't feel like shit? Like I don't hate myself for it?"

"I don't care," Minho hisses. "It doesn't erase the fact that it's your fault it even happened in the first place."

"What?" Han cries, attempting to pull away from Changbin. He doesn't let him. "Minho-hyung, no. It isn't Channie-hyung's fault!"

"Yes, it is!"

"Minho," Changbin says then, face pinched. "Don't you think you're taking this too far?"

"Y-Yeah," Jeongin says then, taking a small step forward. "It's not like hyung meant for that to happen."

Hesitating, Minho is dead silent. No one speaks. No one moves. Then, finally, Minho speaks; "he's the pack leader. He should know better."

The words themselves are harsh, cruel, but it's clear by the way that Chan reacts, it's more than that. Means more.

Lips parting, Chan stares at Minho, hurt in his eyes that slowly fades to rage. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know," Minho says, voice a low hiss.

"You guys," Hyunjin cuts in, "come on—"

"Say it," Chan growls and the intensity of it makes you jump. You're starting to tremble, you realize then, body shaking and heart pounding so heavily against your chest it feels like you can't breathe.

This is too much.

You can't... You can't.

Minho stares back at Chan at his words, face twisting.

"Say it," Chan repeats, lower, demanding. "Don't back out now. Say what you really mean, Minho."

Seungmin shakes his head; "enough, the both—"

"No," Chan says, using his alpha voice to shut Seungmin up. It clearly surprises the beta, his eyes widening as everyone in the room flinches in response. A small whimper leaves your lips before you can stop yourself. "No, let him say it."

Minho just rolls his eyes; "take it however you want. My point stands. You're the pack alpha, and you let one of your omegas get hurt. You've let two of your omega's get hurt."

There it is.

Chan lets out a laugh. Cold, dry and hurt.

"So, that's what this is about?" He asks, shaking his head. "It's not just about Han. It's about Y/N too."

You freeze at the mention of your name.

"Seriously, you two," Jeongin tries again, this time his voice stronger. "This is getting out of hand. You're both being ridiculous."

"No, clearly we need to talk about this," Chan argues. "If Minho has issues with me being the pack alpha, then he should lay it out all on the table now."

"Hyungs," Felix cries, "please."

"You're upsetting the omegas," Changbin huffs, holding Han closer.

Chan ignores him, keeping his eyes on Minho who hasn't moved or said a word since.

"You think what happened to Y/N is my fault?"

You can't breathe. You really, really can't breathe.

Hands trembling, eyes welling with tears, you barely notice Seungmin's gaze who falls on you, having clear sight of you curling in on yourself. Clear sight of the panic attack currently taking over your body.

"You think it's all my fault?"

You can't let Minho say anything more. The thought comes quick, desperate. You don't know what he'll say, but you can't chance letting him finish. You can't let him say something he'll regret, Chan too.

You can't be the reason why the pack falls apart.

You're moving before you can even think, barely hearing Seungmin who calls out for you, trying to reach you. Instead, you make your way to Minho, sobbing and desperate, reaching for him blindly. You try to grab his shoulder, pull him away, lips parting to cry out for him.

And then Minho, too blind in his frustration and anger, pushes your hand away, voice a low growl as he hisses; "stay out of this."

You can't explain it. Not completely. Although logically you know it's Minho who says the words—Minho who has never hurt you and never would—all logical thought leaves your brain. You see his hand move to push you out of the way, and are reminded of all the times Seojun's hand had swung towards you.

Of the pain that followed.

And his voice, terrifying, makes you remember all the times Seojun had used that voice with you when he wanted you to behave.

So, your response, its instinct. Self-defence.

You drop to your knees, ignoring the way your knees smack against the tile floor and the pain that travels up your legs in response. Through blurred vision and panicked gasping, you drop your head to the floor, pressing your forehead to the tile. You head twists, baring your neck, a sign of submission.

"I'm sorry!" You cry, voice trembling and squeaking in desperation. "I'm so sorry, alpha. Please. Please don't. It's my fault. It's my fault!"

For a moment, everyone stares in stunned silence. No one moves, no one says anything, all eyes on you, curling and bowing on the ground in a submissive position, trembling in fear.

Han is the first to move.

Pulling himself out of Changbin's grasp, he cries out; "I told you both to let it go! Look what you've done!"

He crouches next to you, hands falling to your back slowly and carefully as you flinch in response, continuing to cry out in panic.

"Y/N," Han calls, "Y/N, please. It's okay. It's okay!"

"No, no!" You scream, eyes shut and head not moving from the ground. "No, alpha's mad! Alpha will punish me! It's my fault!"

Han tries to send out soothing pheromones, but his scent, already soured and upset from everything, does little to comfort you.

"Sunny," Felix calls, blinking himself out of his stupor as he falls to your other side. "Sunny, I promise you. No one's going to hurt you."

Letting out a whimper, you curl tighter into yourself.

"I've never seen her this bad," Jeongin whispers, stepping forward slowly. "Not since..."

He lets his words trail, their meaning obvious.

"What do we do?" Felix sobs, looking up at everyone. "She won't listen to reason!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you continue to sob, body violently trembling. "I'm sorry!"

"Chan has to do it," Seungmin says, frowning. "He'll have to use his alpha voice on her."

"What?" Hyunjin calls, eyes wide. "Won't that make it worse?"

"It's the only thing that'll get her to listen."

All eyes fall on Chan.

"I-I can't," he breathes, shaking his head. "I can't do that to her."

"Chan," Changbin sighs. "Please."

"I can't."

"You have to," Minho says, stunning everyone.

Chan's wide eyes fall on the alpha, lips parted in disbelief.

"I... I'm sorry," Minho sighs, shoulders falling as he shakes his head. "I was out of line. I was... Just, ever since all of this happened, it's like my alpha can't calm down at the thought of one of my packmates hurt. And it's worse with the omegas. So, when I heard about Jisung-ah, I lost control of myself..."

Han, still crouched next to you, shakes his head up at Minho. "I told you it wasn't hyung's fault."

"I know," Minho nods, staring at his feet in guilt. "I just... couldn't listen to reason. But I was wrong." Turning back to Chan, he meets his gaze head on. "It wasn't your fault. Neither was Y/N your fault. That was wrong of me. I'm sorry."

Letting out a shaky sigh, Chan nods; "I'm sorry too. I was trying to egg you on, let my pride get in the way."

Shaking his head, Seungmin steps forward; "now that the two of you are done being idiots, can you please help Y/N?"

Chan's worried eyes fall to you.

"It'll be okay," Minho says, setting his hand on Chan's shoulder and squeezing. "It'll help. Besides, it's my fault she's like this."

Chan only hesitates a moment longer. With a shaky exhale, he steps towards you, crouching down in front of you. You barely notice him, still curled into a fetile position.

Then, Chan says, low and demanding; "Y/N. Look at me."

Your reaction is instant. You snap up, back straight, blood-shot and teary eyes falling on Chan's gaze as you continue to sit there, trembling and sniffling in panic.

"It's okay," Chan continues, never looking away from your eyes. "No one will hurt you. It's not your fault, okay?"

Slowly, you nod. Your eyes clear and you seem to take your surroundings in, sniffling. It takes you a moment before you can speak, inhaling deep, trembling breaths before your eyes seem to clear, nails digging into your thighs.

"I'm... I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for, Y/N," Chan reassures softly. "It's us who should apologize to you."

Han's hand remains on your back, rubbing soft circles as Felix brushes the hair from your face. The rest of the pack crowds around, careful and slow.

"I thought..." And you hesitate, words getting choked up at the back of your throat. "It felt like I was back there."

"Y/N..." Hyunjin mumbles.

Minho steps closer, lowering himself to meet your gaze. You turn to him, swallowing thickly, and Minho frowns. "It's me who owes you an apology, Y/N," he says, making sure his voice is gentle. "I never meant to scare you like that. You... You know I would never actually hurt you, right?"

You nod. "I do. I just... All the yelling and heightened scents... I couldn't think straight."

"We should've been more sensitive to you, Y/N," Chan says then, cupping your cheek. "We're so very sorry."

You just lean into his touch, before meeting Minho's eyes, sending him a soft smile.

"Was... Was that something Seojun made you do, Y/N?" Jeongin asks after a moment.

You turn to the youngest alpha, frowning. "Yes... To beg for forgiveness and so he wouldn't hurt me. It... It never really worked."

Everyone in the room shifts.

"You never have to do that here," Hyunjin says, running his hands through your hair. "Okay? No matter what."

"Okay," you whisper. Then, slowly, you turn to Chan and Minho. "Are you...—"

"We're okay," Chan assures gently.

"We clearly need to talk," Minho nods, reaching for Chan. "But yes, we're okay. We're sorry for scaring you, kitten."

You shake your head, assuring them it's okay before turning to Han.

"Hannie," you call, "are you okay?"

"I'm okay, baby," Han smiles gently, tears still in his eyes as he pulls you into his chest. "I just had a scare today."

"I'm sorry."

Han just coos at you, pulling you closer.

"I vote cuddle time," Felix calls then, reaching for you and Han. "In the pack room. Hannie and Y/Nnie need it and deserve it. Except for Minho and Chan. They're not allowed."

"Lixie—"

"No, Yongbok is right," Minho cuts Changbin off gently, turning to the pack alpha. "We should probably talk."

Chan sighs but nods.

You turn to them, worried.

"We won't yell, baby," Chan says, pressing a kiss to your cheek. "We promise. Right, Minho?"

"Of course," Minho smiles gently at you, leaning forward to press a kiss against your forehead. "We won't."

"When you two have made up and are done being stupid alphas, then you can join us," Han says, moving to stand with you in his arms. "But not a second before that."

"Yes, jagi," Minho sighs but the smile on his face is fond.

"You're lucky you're both cute," Felix hums, "or else you'd be in more trouble."

"We're sorry, Lixie," Chan sighs.

Han and Felix just 'hmph', taking you with them as they both head towards the pack room. Felix hesitates, calling back;

"If the four of you don't follow us now, you're not allowed in either!"

Hyunjin, Seungmin, Jeongin and Changbin turn to each other, panicked.

Chan and Minho watch the four of them race after the omegas with a fond smile, before the former turns to Minho.

"I may be the pack alpha, but it's really them who's in charge, huh?"

Minho's response is said with a bright smile;

You'd been at the party for approximately an hour, maybe less, when you feel his hands slide around your waist.

You startle at the touch at first, before the familiar warmth of Hongjoong sinks in. Your lips part from the words you'd been saying, brow raising as you take notice of the possessive edge to his touch—his fingers dig in, not painful but firm, and he splays his palm across your waist in a full, noticeable grasp.

Seconds later, you feel his chest press into your back.

"Hi pretty girl," he whispers, low and heavy, as if there's not another person standing in front of the two of you. The tone of his voice has a shiver crawling down the back of your spine, skin lighting up with goosebumps as he sets his chin on your shoulder.

"Hi Joong," you greet back, turning your head over your shoulder as you meet his waiting gaze. "I was just talking to—"

"Sangwoo," Hongjoong cuts in, sharp but not cruel. There's a note to his voice that you catch, something heavy as his eyes leave yours, darkening as he meets Sangwoo's waiting gaze. "I noticed."

That's all he says. No greeting, no real recognition of Sangwoo's precense at all.

You let out an awkward chuckle, feeling the awkward tension of Hongjoong's slight and his hands that continue to press against you. He plays with the lace of your dress, presses kisses along the length of your neck, touches every part of you he can get his hands on, unabashed of the one man audience in front of him.

"Joong," you call, voice a low whisper as you offer a small, polite smile Sangwoo's way before turning towards Hongjoong. "You're being rude."

And really, you don't mind. Not really. It's the principle of it, you figure. You feel like you should say something more than you care about actually doing it.

It seems Hongjoong doesn't care either. Even with your whispered plea, he's sending a rather nonplussed glance Sangwoo's way before slipping his hand into yours and pulling you along with him. His grip is gentle and firm, and you nearly lose your footing, not expecting the pull, until Hongjoong's steadying you with a hand against your hip.

"Oh, Y/N, we weren't done talking—"

"She'll find you later," Hongjoong cuts in, not even bothering to glance back at Sangwoo, before adding under his breath; "not likely."

You watch, stunned. It's not often Hongjoong's so blatantly... dismissive of someone.

He doesn't stop until he's found an empty spot, a little corner tucked away from everyone else. He takes a seat on the couch, his lips curling into a soft smile as he meets your gaze and pulls you directly onto his lap. You let him, straddling his waist as your hands fall on his shoulders, playing with the edge of his hair.

He just continues to smile up at you, bright-eyed and grinning as if he hadn't all but dragged you away from a conversation to pull you into his lap.

"There," he says, satisfied. "Just us."

You snort; "was someone jealous?"

"Yes," he says, completely and wholeheartedly honest. It makes you blink, but then you remember, Hongjoong's never been particularly fussed about hiding his jealousy. He knew when it was appropriate and when it wasn't, and if you had truly thrown a fuss, he wouldn't have bothered you. "He was making eyes at you."

"He was dreadfully boring," you laugh, biting your lip. "You seemed to know him though."

"Some staff member," Hongjoong shrugs. "I've seen him once or twice. He tried to make a pass at one of our makeup artists a few weeks ago, must've gotten moved to some other group."

You supress a shiver. "Gross," you frown. "Now I know why he was going on and on about all of his 'important work'," you snort, adding in the air quotes. "Clearly wanted to impress."

Hongjoong scoffs; "remind me to get him fired."

"Baby," you mumble.

"He deserves it," Hongjoong shrugs.

You sigh, not having really put up much of a fight anyway. "I guess."

Hongjoong shifts, pulling you closer as he leans forward, pressing a kiss to your chin. "You didn't really mind me being rude, yeah?" He asks, voice soft and pliant. "Didn't like you being near him. Didn't like you being away from me in general."

"Of course I didn't mind," you grin down at him, kissing his nose. "You saved me an awkward conversation. And I'd rather be with you too."

Hongjoong's eyes sparkle. "Yeah?"

"Definitely," you confirm, nodding. "You were rather possessive, though, baby."

"You liked it?"

"Loved it," you smirk, licking your lips. "Love your hands on me."

"Ah," Hongjoong breathes. "That's good. Because I vote we leave this party early and I'll touch you all you'd like, wherever you'd like."

"Oh?" You quirk a brow, teasing and mischevious. "Is that so? Won't the boys be upset if you leave early?"

Hongjoong snorts; "truthfully I don't really care."

It's reaching midnight when you wake up, breathless from a nightmare.

There's a light shine of sweat across your forehead, your chest is rising and falling with the race of your heart, as you stare up at Changbin's ceiling, trying to calm your rapidly racing nerves.

A glance to your right reassures you you hadn't woken the alpha up, something you're silently thankful for. You always feel awful when you wake one of the others up because of your nightmares and you know that Changbin has an early morning.

Inhaling sharply, you send one last look Changbin's way before slipping out from beneath his arms. He's a relatively heavy sleeper so it's easy to get out without waking him up. You were still tired, but you knew it was going to take you a while to fall back asleep, and you didn't want to risk disturbing him.

Grabbing a hoodie off the ground, you slip it on, pleasantly surprised when Chan's familiar scent surrounds you. Changbin must've stolen it at some point, and although you'd be happy with any of your packs scents, there was something reassuring about your pack leaders scent surrounding you in that moment.

You're quiet as you slip out of the room, shutting the door behind you with a soft click before turning to make your way to the kitchen.

You rub at your eyes, stifling a yawn as you think about grabbing a glass of water and maybe sitting on the couch with a book for a bit to try and quiet your mind. Maybe you'd even have a small snack. You could slip into Felix's room after that since you know he didn't have class the next day and wouldn't mind being woken up.

Just as you turn to make your way into the kitchen though, you're surprised to see the light already on and it occupied.

"Innie?"

Said alpha jumps softly at the sound of your voice, spinning around from where he stands at the stove, ingredients scattered around him. His wide eyes settle when he finds you, and a soft but concerned smile curls on his lips. "Y/N," he calls gently, "what're you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep," you explain, stepping into the kitchen as you hug Chan's hoodie tighter around you. "What about you?"

"I was up late gaming," he explains sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck. "I got hungry and decided to make a midnight snack."

Raising a brow, you step close enough to stare past his shoulder. "Kimchi grilled cheese?"

"I was hungrier than I thought," he laughs lightly. "Did you want me to make you some?"

Meeting Jeongin's eyes, you smile gently, nodding. "Sure," you say, moving towards the island to sit while he turns to make you some. "I was gonna drink some water and read, but I'll keep you company instead."

"You sure?" Jeongin asks, frowning over at you. "I don't mind."

You nod, letting your head fall into your hands. "I'd rather be with you."

His cheeks flush lightly at the admission and you can't help the soft smile that curls on your lips in response. Jeongin always blushed so easily, and you loved it when he flushed at your words.

"Here," he says a moment later, having grabbed a glass for you. "Water."

You smile at him brightly, humming out a thanks as you take a sip. The cold feels nice against your scratchy throat, raw from the panic from your nightmare.

"Everything alright?" Jeongin asks, turning back to the food. "Why couldn't you sleep? Didn't you go to bed with Binnie-hyung last night?"

At that, you hesitate a moment, debating whether you should tell him or not. It's not that you didn't trust him; at this point there wasn't a single member of this pack you didn't trust. But part of you still felt guilty burdening them with your issues; it's why you'd been so persistent on not waking up Changbin.

You're sure it's a mixture of reasons why and it's something you're actively trying to work against. Since Jeongin's already awake, you convince yourself you should feel less guilty.

"I did," you hum lightly. "Woke up because of a nightmare. It usually takes me a bit to fall back asleep and I didn't want to risk waking Bin up, so I got up instead."

Jeongin glances back at you; "you know he wouldn't have minded."

"I know," you frown. "I just... he has a early morning."

"And if I hadn't been in the kitchen?"

"I probably would've just dealt with it on my own."

Jeongin sighs; "well, I'm glad I was then." And at his tone, you know it's something you'll be discussing later. "Was it about...?"

"Yeah," you say, swallowing the lump in your throat. It had only been about two months since Seojun had been put away, and though you were going to therapy now to work through your trauma, it was still hard to talk about it. "Just an... old memory."

The pan sizzles as Jeongin turns on the heat and starts cooking. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really," you admit softly. "Maybe later. Right now, I just want to be with you."

Jeongin nods, sending a smile your way. "Works for me, baby."

The two of you fall into an eased soft chatter amongst one another, takling about anything and everything. You find your shoulders easing and your chest loosening as you continue to chat with Jeongin, reassured by his warmth and care.

Then, about ten minutes later, as the smell of grilled cheese wafts through the kitchen, you hear Jeongin softly curse to himself.

"Medium heat," he mutters. "Hyunjin-hyung said medium heat. What does that even mean?"

Biting your lip, you lean forward; "is everything okay?"

"Of course," Jeongin answers, a little too quick but you let him have it. Instead, you fall silent, watching him as he takes the pan off the heat and grabs some plates.

Then, when he turns to you, there's a bright, tired grin on his face as he sets a place in front of you.

"There," he grins. "Made with love."

You stare at the food with a blink.

"...It's a little burnt."

"That's extra flavour."

A laugh bubbles out of you at that, rolling your eyes fondly. Truthfully, even though it is burnt, it smells good and although the idea of kimchi grilled cheese had seemed like an odd midnight snack at first, it sounds delicious now.

Taking a small bite, you hum softly.

Honestly, it's not that bad. Burnt, but warm. Comforting in an odd way.

"See?" Jeongin laughs, "exactly as intended."

"It's a little... crispy," you laugh, swallowing the bite as you turn to him. "But still delicious. Thank you, Innie."

"Of course, baby." He says, then shifts in front of you. "And here."

Your eyes widen when he slides a mug in front of you, soft steam coming from the top of it as the warm smell of some kind of herbal tea catches your attention.

"You made me tea?" You ask, turning to look at the alpha.

That familiar flush crawls across Jeongin's cheeks, pink with adoration and love. "Well… yeah. Minho-hyung said warm drinks can help after nightmares."

His words make you pause, surprised. The fact that he'd remembered that, an off-handed comment Minho had said one morning to you when you'd had another bad night. You hadn't even known Jeongin had been listening...

Jeongin notices the shift instantly. Stepping closer, his hand falls on your shoulder. "Hey," he calls, gently and concerned. "You okay?"

"Yeah," you whisper, too quickly.

He hesitates, just a moment, before crouching so he's at eye level with you. "I know you said you didn't want to talk about it, and you don't have to," he says. "But you don't have to pretend around me, or any of us, okay? I'm here for you."

And it’s the sincerity in his voice that does it.

Not pity.

Not obligation.

Just genuine care.

There's an emotion that suddenly overwhelms you, something you haven't felt in so long. It makes your throat tighten, chest flooding with something overwhelming and warming and comforting and terrifying all at the same time.

The purr slips from your lips before you can stop it.

Jeongin stills in front of you, your eyes widen in mortification.

"Oh my god," you breathe, pressing your hand to your mouth. "I'm so... I'm so sorry. I don't... I don't know why I-"

"Why are you apologizing?" Jeongin cuts in, eyes wide. He looks distraught that you seem so panicked.

"You probably think it's weird," you explain, voice rushed and desperate, moving to cover your face with the sleeves of Chan's hoodie. "It is weird. Seojun always hated-"

"Hey," Jeongin says, firm but gentle. His hand tightens on your shoulder and he's leaning towards you once again, meeting your gaze. "It's not weird. It could never be weird. Are you kidding me? That was the cutest thing I've ever heard."

You peek at him through the sleeves of your hoodie.

Sure enough, Jeongin looks enchanted.

"You're sure?"

"Of course," he nods, quick and without hesitation. "I love when Lixie and Jisung purr. And I now love it just as much when you do as well."

Slowly, you let your hands fall, heart racing. His words are so sincere, but a part of you, that small voice your therapist says you shouldn't ignore, wants reassurance. "You do?"

"I do," he says, firm. Sincere. "It means... It means you feel safe?"

Meeting his eyes, you nod. "I do. I really do."

Jeongin's lips curl into a bright grin, wide and warm and full of love and the sight is just so incredibly beautiful that you find another purr leaving your lips before you can stop yourself.

Jeongin's eyes only seem to brighten further.

"I'm so bragging to the others about this tomorrow," he grins.

Letting out a laugh, you shake your head, letting the purrs come out strong and free.

Jeongin practically melts on the spot.

The drink tastes bitter on your tongue and not just because it's been designed that way.

Even through the haze of your buzz, your heart continues to ache with the realization that you're so called 'friends' had up and abandoned you the second they'd gotten the chance to do so. It hurts even more when you remember they'd been the one adamant you'd even go out with them that night, with the claim that you "never did anymore".

You never did because they always did this.

The night always started off fine. You'd all get dressed up, do your makeup and hair and head out to whatever club fit your fancy that night. You'd all start with drinks and then move to dancing, just losing yourselves in the thrill of it all. But while you went out with the intention of hanging and spending time with your friends, they seemed to go out with the intention fo getting laid.

It wasn't that you necessarily minded them getting their rocks off. You were all for one night stands and whatever else fun they could find, but just once you'd like the night to be about friendship and not getting laid. Or with you ending up at the bar alone.

You also had a sneaking suspicion that the only reason why they even wanted you to come with them in the first place was because you made them look better. Being the only one of your group not the conventional attractive that most men typically went after, you were used as a means of making them look prettier and more enticing.

Taking the last sip of your drink, you set the empty glass down on the bar table, catching the eye of the bartender. It was nearing the end of the night and the craziness had setlted down, meaning that you were one of the only few customers left for him to attend to.

"Another one?" The bartender asks with a gentle voice, meeting your eyes with a quirked brow. There's a certain element of pity in his gaze as he stares down at you, and it makes your stomach burn with humiliation.

"Yeah," you nod, voice somewhat slurred. "And make it stronger."

The bartender looks like he wants to argue, his lips parting but before he can say anything, another voice cuts in;

"Maybe just make it a water and grab me her tab."

You startle faintly at the new voice, jumping as your eyes flicker to your right. You're surprised by the sight of a man, dark black hair sleeked back and a sharp jaw smiling at the bartender from next to you.

The bartender nods, clearly bewildered, but doesn't say anything as he steps off to make your drink.

Then, the newcomer turns to you, and your brows furrow. You momentarily insulted that this man thinks he can just come in and stop you from having another drink, but just as your lips part to say so, you find yourself pausing.

There's something familiar about him. You can't place it, not at first, staring in what a sober you would surely think is far too long, your inebriated mind trying to place it.

And then it clicks.

"San?"

San's smile brightens, obviously happy you'd recognized him. "Hi Y/N," he greets softly, slipping into the seat next to you.

Your lips part at the sight of him, not having expected to see him here. You only knew him through a friend of friend sort of thing, one of the girls you'd come with tonight had dated one of his friends and you'd met San a few times through association. He'd always been nice and friendly whenever you'd spoken with him, but a club didn't seem like his scene.

"What're you doing here?" You ask, shaking your head.

"Wooyoung and Mingi insisted we went out tonight and ended up here," San shrugs. "I was just leaving when I noticed you sat here by yourself."

"Oh," you blink, frowning. "Are Wooyoung and Mingi still here?"

San shakes his head; "I told them to go on without me."

You suddenly feel guilty, your chest tightening a little at words. How miserable must you have looked to make a man you barely knew think he had to check up on you?

"You didn't have to go through all that trouble," you say, biting your lip.

San shakes his head; "it's no worries, Y/N."

For a moment, silence follows. You're not sure what to say, but it seems San doesn't share the same awkwardness because just as the bartender hands you the glass of water and San the tab, the latter is turning to you with a warm smile.

"What about you?"

You blink at his question, fully blaming your slow response of the alcohol you've consumed and not because his smile is so beautifully warm it takes your breath away.

"What about me?" You ask, brows furrowed.

"What are you doing here alone?" He asks gently, finishing paying your tab and sending a nod at the bartender who only stares on for a moment longer before moving on.

"Oh," you breathe, frowning. The reminder of your friends leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. You take a big gulp of your water as a result, not realizing how much you needed it. "My friends... left me for some guys," you explain, ignoring the burn of embarrassment running down your back.

San's smile falls, frowning. "That's not very nice."

You shrug; "I'm used to it."

"Still," he presses, gentle but firm. "That was cruel of them."

It feels nice to hear someone else say it. With the amount of times it's happened, let alone the way your friends respond when you bring it up, you were starting to think you were the one in the wrong. But as you look back at San, he seems genuinely hurt for your sake.

"It is what it is," you say, despite the way your body flushes with a heat from his look. Turning back to your water, you take another sip before deciding you were done wallowing in your own pity for the night.

"Well," you start, moving to stand. "It was lovely to see you again, San but-"

Only, you don't finish what you're about to say when your foot touches the floor beneath you, or at least, you think it did. With the way the world tilts and you find yourself falling towards the ground, you'd say you didn't catch your footing as well as you thought you did.

A small yelp leaves your lips in response, not having realized just how inebriated you were, and mentally brace yourself for hitting the ground.

It never happens.

Instead, you fall into a pair of warm but steady arms and blink open your eyes only to find San staring down at you in concern.

"Are you okay?" San asks, brows furrowed and lips parted in worry.

The heat returns, this time bright on your cheeks.

San helps you to your feet as you smooth out your dress, trying to ignore the race of your heart as you stare back at him. "Y-Yeah," you breath, inhaling shakily. "Yeah, sorry. Guess I drank more than I thought."

San shakes his head; "it's all good. I'm just glad I caught you before you fell."

You bite your lip; "thank you."

San only smiles, sending you a nod as he shifts on his feet in front of you. "Will you be okay heading home on your own?"

You nod; "I think."

"I could... walk you, if you'd like? How far are you?"

His offer catches your attention. Turning to him with wide eyes, you blink; "you don't have to."

"I don't mind," he assures. "It'd make me feel better knowing you got home safe."

"Oh," you breathe, startled by the offer. Had San always been this nice? You remember him always being kind when you saw him, but this seems beyond. "I feel bad... I already ruined your night by making you check in on me and-oh my god, I just realized you paid for my tab! Here, let me pay you-"

San's hand falls over your own as you reach for your purse, halting your movements.

"There's no need," he gently assures.

"Let me pay you back," you shake your head. "You really didn't have to pay my tab-"

"Y/N," he says. "It's okay."

And something about the way he says it makes your heart race.

"Now," he continues, swift and without missing a beat. "Let me walk you home?"

You want to argue, already feeling bad enough for all this man has done for you tonight. But, when your lips part to insist you're okay, you find yourself agreeing instead.

"Okay..."

It isn't until the next morning, waking up with the sun bleeding in through your blinds and making your head ache, that you properly assess just what had happened the night before.

San had walked you, as promised, all the way to your apartment, catching you every time you nearly stumbled over your own two feet and not complaining once about the long walk.

And then, when you'd stopped at your front door, San had only smiled at you warmly and wished you a goodnight.

You'd passed out seconds after, barely getting your own shoes off before stumbling onto your bed. You were too drunk and tired to process anything that had happened.

Now, though? You definitely were sober enough to process.

"I'm such an idiot," you mumble to yourself, pushing yourself up and pressing a hand to your head as it pangs painfully. Now, stuck with the consequences of your own actions, you thoroughly remember just how deeply you'd embarrassed yourself. "He's such a nice guy too..."

Inhaling sharply, you reach for your phone, wanting to check the time and see if any of your friends had bothered to check if you'd made it home safely.

There's not a single text from any of them, but there is a text from an unknown number.

Hey. It's San :) You let me put my number in your phone last night, hope that's alright

Just checking to see how you're feeling this morning?

If you're up to it, I was thinking I could treat you to some coffee? Maybe you can finish telling me about the time your date stood you up and I can prove to you how much better a date I'd be.

You're both mortified and giddy at San's texts.

Two things were clear. First, drunk you needed a filter. Second, somehow you'd scored yourself a date with an incredibly kind and attractive man.

"Bambi?"

Looking up from the book you'd been reading, you meet Hyunjin's gaze curiously. He's stopped at the frame of your door, one hand in the pocket of his jeans and the other leaning against the door as he stares at you almost... nervously?

Something in his expressions reads wrong to you, and you sit up, book falling to your side without a single thought as you ask; "is everything okay?"

Hyunjin blinks, eyes widening, seeming to catch on that he'd made you nervous. Quickly calming his expression, he steps into your room, softly shutting the door behind him. "Everything's alright, I promise. Sorry, I just... I just wanted to ask you something."

"Oh," you mumble, shoulders easing at his reassurance. You shift further back on your bed, pressing yourself against the headboard as you silently invite Hyunjin into your makeshift nest.

You were currently in the process of remaking your nest, hence it's somewhat dishevelled appearance.

Sitting at the edge of your bed, Hyunjin turns to face you, a soft smile on his lips. "Am I bothering you?"

"No," you hum lightly, shaking your head. "I was just reading." You gesture loosely to the book now resting by your side, Hyunjin's smile widens at the sight of it.

"That's one of my favourites," he comments.

"Really?" You ask, eyes lighting up with excitement. "Minho recommended it to me."

"Well, hyung has good taste," Hyunjin laughs lightly.

You nod in agreement, before pulling your knees up to your chest and letting your head rest on the top of your knees. "So," you start, "what did you have to ask me?"

Hyunjin pauses at that, inhaling deeply. "Before I ask... I just want to make sure you know that you can say no, okay? There's no obligation or expectation you say yes."

His words make your brows furrow, that same worry returning at his vagueness. You believed him that nothing was wrong, but he was making it hard not to think otherwise.

"Of course, Jinnie," you smile, if anything to help assure him. "I know that."

"Okay," he exhales then, body moving with the breath. "You know how I teach art classes, right?"

"Of course."

"Well, my senior class, they're about your age, maybe a bit younger... they've been working on this big project for the past few months. All in time for the gala we'll be hosting this Friday to showcase their artwork. It's a chance for the students to show off their hardwork and there'll be important buyers, collectors and other artists there for the students to network with."

Nodding, you hum; "it sounds important."

"It is," Hyunjin agrees, smiling softly at your words. "As my students teacher, it's a very important event for me too. Sometimes there's potential students prospects there and it's a chance to prove myself as a teacher."

"Are you nervous?" You ask, thinking that must be what's got him acting a little off.

"Not really," Hyunjin shrugs, surprising you. "This'll be my fourth one and I sort of know what to expect. It's just... normally, I bring a date."

That catches your attention. "Oh?"

"Yeah," Hyunjin hums, reaching forward to take your hand in his own. You let him, watching the action with a slight furrow of your brow, before turning back to meet his gaze. "Last year, I brought Lixie. The year before, Changbin. The year before that, I brought both Chan and Innie. My first one, the whole pack came to support me."

Your lips form an 'o'. "Who will you be taking this year?"

And Hyunjin laughs, light, airy, fond. "Bambi, I'm trying to ask you."

"What?" You blink, stunned.

"I'd love to take you." Hyunjin repeats, squeezing your hands.

Somehow, the thought hadn't even crossed your mind. Hyunjin wanting to bring you? Wouldn't you be... an embarrassment for him? You still weren't used to being in public spaces, at least not ones with lots of other people. You usually clammed up in the odd chance you found yourself in that situation.

But... But Hyunjin wanted to take you.

"Really?" You ask, voice small.

"Yeah," Hyunjin nods, his thumb grazing over the back of your hand. "If you'd like to?"

You were nervous. Of course you were. The thought of being in a room of so many people, especially when it was such an important event for Hyunjin, scared the hell out of you. But it meant the absolute world to you that despite this, despite knowing that, Hyunjin wanted you to come with him.

"I'd love to," you whisper, meaning the words as you meet Hyunjin's gaze with a warm, but nervous smile. "Are you sure you're okay with it being me?"

"Of course, Y/N," Hyunjin grins. "I think we'd have a fun night."

"Even if I embarrass you?"

"You could never," he reassures. "And the second you want to go, we go."

That makes you laugh lightly; "it's an event for your students, Jinnie."

"Doesn't matter," he dismisses without another thought. "You come first. Always."

"You alright in there, bambi?"

Staring at yourself in the mirror, you huff, hands falling by your side as you blow your hair out of your face.

It was two days after Hyunjin had asked you to come with him to his gala, the one happening tomorrow night. After Felix and Han had found out Hyunjin had asked you, they'd all but demanded that Hyunjin take you shopping for the right outfit.

When you'd tried to assure them that it wasn't necessary, Chan had chipped in from where he'd been sitting on the couch with Jeongin; "you're off Thursday, right Jinnie?"

Pausing in thought, Hyunjin nods; "hmm, you're right, hyung!" Then, with bright eyes and a beaming smile, Hyunjin turns back to you. "Perfect! We'll go shopping then!"

You hesitate; "you don't have to... maybe I have a dress that I can wear?"

"Do you not want to go shopping, Y/Nnie?" Jeongin asks, pulling away from Chan to glance at you. You turn to him in response, knowing that all the boys are looking at you, and you bite your lip.

"I do," you admit quietly, liking the thought of shopping with Hyunjin. Of getting a new pretty dress. "I just feel bad."

"Don't," Han says, pressing a kiss against your cheek. "You deserve to be treated."

You glance at your feet.

"Y/N," Hyunjin calls softly, stepping towards you. His hand grabs your chin, gently pulling your gaze up and back on him. "If you don't want to, we don't have to. But if it's only because you feel bad, then don't worry. I'd love to treat you to a beautiful new dress."

And that had been that. You hadn't been able to deny otherwise after Hyunjin's sweet words, and now, the two of you had been to a few different shops, having tried on a handful of dresses. None of them really felt like the right one.

Until you'd laid eyes on the one you were trying on now.

You'd gasped at the sight of it, and even if you'd tried to reel back your reaction, Hyunjin had caught the way your eyes practically sparkled at the dress. He'd grabbed it off of the hook without another second of hesitation and lead you towards the fitting rooms.

It was perfect. Everything you've ever wanted.

If only you could get the damn zipper.

"Y/N?" Hyunjin calls again, his voice closer, "what's going on?"

Sighing, you finally turn away from the mirror, moving towards the curtain. Your one hand helps hold up the dress against yourself as you slowly peel the curtain back. Hyunjin is right outside of the fitting room, and he leans back with a blink of his eyes when he meets your gaze.

"Bambi?"

Pouting, you sigh; "I can't get the zipper up."

A series of expressions cross Hyunjin's face. First, confusion, then suprise, before finally, his lips curl into amusement as he glances down at you.

Holding yourself tighter, you sigh; "don't laugh."

"I won't, I won't," Hyunjin says, though a small giggle leaves his lips all the same. "I'm sorry, bambi. You just look so cute."

You just huff.

Then, after a moment, Hyunjin asks, somewhat tentatively; "did... did you want help?"

You turn back to him, nodding. "Please."

He swallows thickly, nodding, stepping into the fitting room as you step back, making room for him. He tucks the curtain back into place behind him as you slowly turn so your back is to him.

At the sight of your bare back, Hyunjin lets out a soft gasp.

"Jinnie?"

"Sorry," he breathes, voice low and heavy. "Here."

You feel him shift behind you, careful and slow, his chest close to you as his hands reach for the zipper of your dress. You feel your body tense as his hand braces on your shoulder, holding you in place as his other drags your zipper up.

You watch him in the mirror, chest tight, breath heavy. You're not quite sure what it is that you're feeling, but you know it's heavy in your chest as you watch Hyunjin's refelction in the mirror.

It's something you've been feeling with the pack more as of recently. Small moments like this, where your heart starts to race and your chest feels tight and all you can focus on is the feeling of their hands on you, on how close they are...

On how you want them closer.

"There," Hyunjin whispers, breathless. He presses his palm flat against your back, through the material of the dress now and raises his head to glance at you through the mirror. "You look beautiful."

You inhale sharply, heart fluttering. "You think?" You ask, letting your eyes drag across your figure in the mirror.

"I know," Hyunjin smiles, sincere. "That dress was made for you."

"You think it'll work for the gala?"

Hyunjin hums; "definitely. You'll be the most beautiful one there."

Cheeks warming, you turn, Hyunjin's hands moving to fall on your waist as you stare up at him. "You're being silly," you admonish, shaking your head at him.

"I'm not," Hyunjin grins. "You will be."

You roll your eyes, but the smile on your face is clear as day. "The dress is not too expensive?"

"Y/N, you do know Chan is rich, right?" Hyunjin snorts.

You huff lightly; "yes, but...—"

"But nothing," Hyunjin gently cuts in, squeezing your waist as he leans closer, lips hovering over your own. "He'd want you to have the dress you like. Besides, I'm thinking I might treat you to this dress myself."

Biting your lip, your lips part; "Hyunjin..."

"Yes?"

"You..." But your words trail, not really sure what you even want to say.

Luckily, Hyunjin seems to know what he wants to say.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yes," you breathe, leaning into him.

His lips press against your own without hesitation, hands warm and secure on your hips as you lean into his embrace. Hyunjin's kiss is soft and gentle, tentative of you so as not to push you too far, but still flooded with every ounce of his love.

You pull away a moment later, slightly breathless, cheeks still warm, and meet his gaze.

"Let's get you this pretty dress, bambi."

Hyunjin's hands haven't left you all night.

Always a hand on your back, in your own, on your hips. Anywhere he could. You didn't mind. It meant having him close and it made you feel safe, despite all the people surrounding the both of you.

You'd been at the gala for few hours and it had gone more smoothly than you'd expected. Of course, you'd been a nervous wreck, but Felix, Han and Minho had helped you get ready (though, the alpha more just stayed nearby, demanding kisses every so often). Felix had done your makeup, something you hadn't done in a long time, while Han helped you with your hair.

And then Hyunjin, dolled up in a fancy suit that took your breath, lead you to the car with your arm in his.

You'd spent the first thirty minutes meeting all his students, who'd gushed and raved over you the entire time. Apparently, Hyunjin constantly talked about his pack members and you were surprised when they told you that you were a main topic of interest over the past few months.

And how excited they were to finally meet you.

It was sweet, endearing and the most normal you'd felt in a long time. Your pack always made you feel at home, at ease and safe, but it had been a long time since you'd just... chatted with people your age about anything and everything without a care in the world.

Then, Hyunjin had given you a tour, showing off every one of his students art pieces. Occasionally, the two of you would be stopped by one of the guests and Hyunjin would chat with them for a bit, before the two of you would move on.

Hyunjin never left your side once. You loved it.

Taking a sip out of the water Hyunjin had grabbed you, you try to stifle the yawn that threatens to come out. Hyunjin was talking to one of his students and you were humming ocassionally, but your social battery was quickly running out.

You just didn't want Hyunjin to know.

"Okay, Sae, I'll see you Monday, yeah?"

"Sounds good, ssaem," Sae smiles brightly at Hyunjin, before her eyes fall on you. "It was lovely to meet you, Y/N-unni."

"You as well, Sae-ah," you smile, nodding at the beta.

She leaves with a wave and a light giggle, moving to meet up with a few other students. You watch her go with a faint smile, before you feel Hyunjin's grip on your hip shift, pulling you so you're stood in front of him.

"You look sleepy, Y/Nnie."

Meeting his eyes, you shake your head; "I'm okay, Jinnie."

"Uh-huh," Hyunjin smiles, "then why do you look like you could fall asleep standing up?"

"I do not," you pout, shaking your head at him.

"Bambi, if you want to go home, it's okay."

You hesitate; "the event is not over yet, Jinnie."

"Msot of the guests have left, it's okay," he assures, rubbing his nose against your own gently. "Besides, I told you, remember? You come first.”

Setting your hands on his chest, you sigh. "Okay, maybe I am a little sleepy."

Hyunjin lets out a light laugh. "Let me say my goodbyes, baby and we can go."

It's no more than ten minutes later and you're in the car, watching as Hyunjin makes his way into the drivers seat after making sure you were safely secured inside the passengers seat. He'd shedded his suit jacket after the two of you left the venue, having handed it to you when he noticed there was a light chill in the air.

Only, that left his arms bare from where he'd rolled up the sleeves of his blouse.

You bite your lip.

"Thank you again for coming tonight, bambi," Hyunjin says, turning to you with a smile before starting the car. "I hope you had fun and it wasn't too much."

"I did have fun," you assure, nodding at him as you pull his coat tighter around yourself. "And no, it wasn't too much. I'm sorry we left early though."

Hyunjin shakes his head; "don't be, Y/Nnie. I know tonight was a lot of socializing for you."

"It felt good though," you say, smiling to yourself. "I haven't felt that... normal in a long time."

"Yeah?" Hyunjin hums, resting his hand on your thigh. "It was that good?"

"Definitely," you nod. "Makes me feel like one day I could... I don't know, go back to it all."

Hyunjin's brows furrow; "it all?"

"The world, I guess," you shrug, feeling your cheeks warm a bit in embarrassment. "Seojun took all of that away. He made it hard for me to be around others; alphas, betas, even omegas. Their scents, even just the mere presence of them... It terrified me. But tonight, with you, with all your students and even those stuck-up artists."

Hyunjin huffs a light laugh at that.

"I was able to do it," you say, beaming with pride. "That feels good."

Hyunjin squeezes your thigh, soft and warm. "I'm proud of you, bambi. I know the others will be too."

"You think?"

"I know."

Feeling your stomach flutter with excitement, you glance at your entwined hands.

"Jinnie," you whisper then, suddenly unable to think about anything but that. "Can I ask you something?"

Hyunjin's answer is immediate; "anything."

"If I said I was ready to be with you guys, intimately, would that be okay?"

You feel the air in the car shift, Hyunjin's scent spiking. Your own does too, chest tightening with worry. The thought had been on your mind for a while, but tonight, with Hyunjin, in this dress, with his hands on you, it made you realize you couldn't be silent about it anymore.

It had been months since your heat. Weeks since Felix's. You knew that some of the alpha's ruts were approaching, but it wasn't just that.

Seojun was gone. Locked away. And though you were still healing from all he'd done, tonight had proved to you just how much progress you really had made. You don't know if you were quite ready, but you know you were close.

Hyunjin tonight, Hyunjin in that fitting room... Chan when he came into the kitchen for breakfast without his shirt on, bare-faced and beautiful. Minho when he cooked dinner, hands working fast, face serious but his voice always, always kind. Changbin when he came home from working out, skin sweaty and hair tossled on his head. Han when he was writing lyrics, so entirely focused on his notebook, but would look up, meet your eyes and smile at you like you were the world. Felix when he was cuddling you, hands pressed into your sides, nosing your scent gland. Seungmin when he'd tuck your hair behind your ear every morning and press a kiss to your forehead before leaving. Jeongin when he'd get flustered cuddling you, cheeks a pretty red.

So many moments when you'd be caught up in just how beautiful they were, in how beautiful they made you feel. And you'd want more.

"You... You'd want that?" Hyunjin asks, voice careful.

"Yeah," you nod, finally turning to look at him. "N-Not yet, but soon. I... I want you. All of you."

Hyunjin inhales then, his hand falling to his hair as he brushes it back and out of his face. "Would that be okay?" He mumbles, echoing your words. "Y/N, as long as you want it, really want it, it'd be more than okay."

Biting your lip, you turn to him; "it would?"

"Of course," he says and he truly means the words. "We should talk to Channie-hyung. Everyone, really. But you just let us know, okay? You let us know when and with who and we'll go at your pace, always."

Smiling softly, you nod; "okay, Jinnie."

"Okay," he nods, almost to himself. "I love you, Y/N."

Leaning forward, you let your eyes flutter shut as he presses a kiss to your forehead.

HAN:

Felix:

Seungmin:

I.N:

Bang Chan:

Lee Know:

Changbin:

Hyunjin:

Bang Chan (wrong person -> I.N):

Lee Know (wrong person -> HAN):

Changbin (wrong person -> Hyunjin):

Hyunjin (wrong person -> Changbin):

HAN (wrong person -> Lee Know):

Felix (wrong person -> Seungmin):

Seungmin (wrong person -> Felix):

I.N (wrong person -> Bang Chan):