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@justanotherlostgal
STORY
Sometimes I ask myself, Am I that difficult to love? I feel like I always try to be the best for someone, for them to love me or accept me and it's exhausting. It's exhausting to always try to prove my worth to everyone, to someone. It's exhausting to ask time, to ask love to ask for attention,
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YOU. JUST YOU
Is it selfish of me to want you? Just you.. Time together just us...
Is it selfish for me to wish you more time for me? Is it?
Me asking time, despite all your busy schedules and responsibilities?
Is it okay? Or is it better for me to just wait and support you throughout these tough times?
2024 will be the end
It's a plan I have in mind
Plan of finally ending my life
If life is not what I assumed it would be
Maybe this world is not for me
suffered from too much darkness
left my heart in a pit of pain
2024 will be the end... if life is pain what is worth living..
HOW DO I FORGET THE PAST?
A few years ago, 4 years to be exact, I was heartbroken. I remember feeling like my heart was slowly tearing, piece by piece and I can hear and feel myself slowly tearing apart. I remember still holding on to the fact that maybe someday he will admit his betrayal and sorry but I was at my breaking point.
Tandang tanda ko pa yung mga panahong asa labas ako ng dorm at pinakikinggan ang bawat paghinga nila, magkatabi, magkayap puno ng pagtawa. Naalala ko pa yung mga panahong ako ang pinili mo pero patuloy mo akong sinasaktan, isang taon, dalawa hanggang sa tuluyan ng tumigil ang kasinungalingan at pagtataksil.
I remember asking myself what went wrong? What's wrong with me? Am I a trash? I remember continously harming myself juts to be numb emotionally and mentally.
How do I forget all the pain in my past? I keep asking myself this question for almost 2 years. He stayed with me, we are together, HE CHOSE ME OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Yet, I still feel the pain when I see triggers. How can I erase all the pain from the past? I have cried a river, I have given my all, I have sacrificed every inch of myself (even my greatest dream) and yet I was betrayed, ganun ba ako kakulang? I want to be able to forget all of the pain. How?
One thing I knew is... I can only help myself..