elie

tags: college au, repressed emotions (reader is emotionally constipated), gojo is a bit oblivious, the pining is not mutual...

this was supposed to be longer oneshot but i wanted to post what i have!! sorry if the ending is a bit abrupt

wc: 1.7k

-

some naive part of you thought satoru gojo would always be yours in some way. even though you were just friends, you had always assumed that nothing would get in the way of that.

you met during your first year of college. you remember how stressed you were on your first day. the building was huge. there were about four different elevators you could take, the hallways seemed like they'd never end, and you were familiar with nobody. all you could do was wander around aimlessly as the distant sound of chattering surrounded you.

he had approached you then with that same easy smile he always wore. "we're in the same class. let's go together," he had said simply, leading the way. that easy confidence he carried himself with always left you with a mix of envy and admiration.

from the moment he first sat with you, it became routine for satoru to be part of your day in some way or another. sitting together in class turned into sitting together in the cafeteria, library and coffee shop. satoru filled a void you didn't even know existed.

"you wanna hang out with me and the others this friday?" satoru lingered by your dorm door, leaning against the wall next to it.

"with who?" you stood in front of him, looking at the way his white eyelashes came more clearly into view when he looked down.

"y'know... suguru, shoko, and some other friends. we're gonna have a game night." he says quieter than usual, absently playing with the strings of your hoodie.

"i'll pass. you know i don't like that sort of thing," you said plainly, as if stating a known fact. satoru gave you a knowing grin.

"you don't like that sort of thing, or you don't like socializing?" he twirls your hoodie string around his finger and finally meets your gaze again.

"uh... both, maybe? i'm kinda tired of trying to fit in with people, satoru."

"who cares about fitting in? you can just hang out with me like usual. i'll protect you from all the awkward small talk in the world, m'lady." he makes the dramatic gesture of bowing at you. something warm blooms in your chest.

"you have, such a way with words. i appreciate it, but it's not like i'd attend a social gathering just for you." you shrug, knowing you'd feel like an alien around satoru and his friends. satoru gasps in mock betrayal.

"pardon?! i'd totally attend one just for you! that is, if you ever decided to show up to one..." he squinted at you like he was physically trying to remember if you ever did show up.

"you literally attend all of them anyway." he shrugged with a nod, agreeing with you. "point is, i can think of plenty other ways for me to wind down after a long week. ways that don't include playing monopoly, okay?"

satoru sighs, grin softening into something like a resigned smile.

"okay, okay." he finally relents, holding his hands up in mock surrender. "i get it, ice queen. our friday afternoon study session is still on though." he starts walking backwards, like he was trying to prolong the conversation before leaving. "don't you forget it!"

"it's not a study session if you just show up to the library to steal my pens and scribble in my notebook!" you yelled back, and satoru grinned again. he waved you goodbye before he turned away, disappearing into the hall.

you never questioned why his presence mattered this much. why you noticed whenever he entered a room, or how relieved you felt whenever he showed up when you were alone.

you should've questioned it. you should've questioned why you wanted him to look for you first when entering a room the way you did with him.

"you're planning to become a surgeon, right?" he asked offhandedly one study session, doodling on the corners of your notebook.

"yup. gotta study like crazy to reach that point, though."

"wow, can't believe the queen of ice would go through such lengths to help people. good on you, champ." he patted your shoulder with his free hand.

"okay, ew. but is that so hard to believe? besides, it pays well." you stopped taking notes to look at him, and he let out a dramatic scoff.

"so it's all about the money now? your greed sickens me, y/n." he shook his head in mock disapproval. you just rolled your eyes at his melodramatics.

"no, it's a balance of things. helping people, feeling good about myself for it, and getting paid for it. i know they're not exactly the purest reasons."

satoru looked like he was about to come up with another teasing remark, but he seemed to consider your words for a second.

"i personally wouldn't say it like that but i support it, queen," he mused, doodling a sad little stickman on the side of your notes. "can't really talk since i'm lacking that balance."

"lacking how?" you kept your gaze fixed on him, notes momentarily forgotten.

"cause i'm inheriting my dad's company after college. there's no benefit in it for anyone but myself," he whined, leaning forward to rest his forehead against the table, pen still in hand. "easy money though."

"uhm? would you say it benefits you if it isn't actually something you want to do?"

he looked up at you, propping his head up on his fist.

"wow, okay, socrates." he finally leaned back in his chair. "there's really no time to think about what i want when the easiest option is right there."

"i guess... so your mind's made up then? taking the easy option instead of finding out what you actually want?" you cringed at the question, knowing the easy option was the most appealing one. "if i put it like that the answer seems pretty obvious..."

"yup. going straight for the money." he sighed morosely. there were unusual moments like this where he went uncharacteristically quiet. "y'know, sometimes it feels like you're the only person i can talk to about this kinda stuff."

"...why?" you tilted your head in genuine confusion. it's not like you had any good advice to give.

"you don't try to make my problems your responsibility or something," he said with a halfhearted smile, fidgeting with your pen. "it's kinda nice to be listened to without getting nagged about things i already know."

"oh..." you just stared at him, not knowing what to say. you didn't know what surprised you more. the fact he had problems, or that he trusted you enough to discuss them.

before you could even think of a response, he spoke again.

"anyway!" his tone brightened, usual carefree demeanor coming back. "i'm willing to fund your hermit lifestyle when it gets to it. i can already picture it, a little house in a secluded forest, living with the birds and bees-"

"hermit?!" you said incredulously, deciding to just let the prior conversation go. "i'll be living on ordinary life, with an ordinary house and job, thank you very much. i'll have my own money to spend too."

"y/n!" he shrieked in genuine offense at your future plans. "does this ordinary house happen to be devoid of life?" you rolled your eyes again, and he was grinning now. "don't even worry, i'll visit your pitiful self on weekends since i'm such a good friend."

"yikes. you don't have to come up with excuses to see me in the future, it's okay." you mockingly patted him on the back. he was genuinely smiling at your unserious reassurance though.

"if you say so."

you didn't consider that satoru could be anything more than a friend. besides, why ruin a good friendship? you didn't need to be anything but friends.

you never really realized how wrong you were about that, or rather, how wrong it felt when you were proven wrong. satoru made you realize though. just not in the way you wanted him to.

"and then she held my hand! okay not really, it was more like a long high five but still!" satoru rambled on as he walked you to your dorm.

"a long high five? what the hell does that mean?" you played it cool, even though there was this weird, aching feeling in your chest that wouldn't go away ever since he started talking.

"like, after pocketing a ball she would high five me." he clapped his hands together to demonstrate. "but she would hold on a little longer." he let his hands linger before letting them fall to his sides again. "y'know what i mean??"

"okay, i get it. sounds very romantic. is that all?" you immediately regretted asking, but at the same time you were curious.

his grin widened. "i walked her home and guess what happened?" that didn't sound good. your heart started beating faster.

"what? did she finally realize she's going out with an asshole??"

"wh- excuse me! not even close." he didn't say anything for a moment, just smiled. the kind of smile that said more than enough about what happened. "we kissed."

you could feel your heart drop to your stomach. you stared at him a second too long, before realizing that normal friends would be excited about this kind of stuff.

"...really? congrats," you said with fake casualty, gripping onto the strap of your bag like it was a lifeline.

"right?? i can't believe she likes me. i'm in love, y/n!" he declared dramatically, slumping against the wall next to your door.

"i'm really happy for you." the words themselves felt wrong. you decided not to prolong the conversation any longer. "uh, i'll see you tomorrow?"

"yup, tomorrow it is! bye," he singsonged, waving at you as he turned away.

you slam your door with more force than necessary. you weren't supposed to feel like this. you were supposed to be happy that your best friend got a girlfriend, yet you felt like the little life you had left got sucked straight out of you. you dropped onto your bed.

you didn't know why you felt like you just lost something. all this time you didn't think anything of your feelings for him, feelings someone definitely wouldn't have for someone they saw as just a friend. you didn't even begin to consider it, not until now.

wc: 0,6k

-

the air inside of the bookstore was cool and refreshing, a sharp contrast to the sweltering heat outside. you've been standing in the english literature section with your boyfriend for god knows how long.

nanami was wonderful. you never felt like you had to work your brain overtime by socializing when it came to him. you could sit in silence without needing to fill every second, read separately while being in the same room, and you knew when to give each other space when needed.

going out together, where other people existed, was a different story though.

"do you want me to buy it for you?" nanami suggests, glancing at the book you're holding in your hand.

"nope, not needed. i'm still... looking around." you vaguely gesture at the same shelves you've been browsing ever since you got here.

"sweetheart, we have been standing here for 10 minutes," he deadpans, looking at you through his sunglasses.

"okay, yes, i know. i'm just mentally preparing myself, okay?" you sigh, already thinking about whether there's a proper way to say 'hello' to a cashier.

"i see." your boyfriend simply nods, like waiting 10 minutes for your partner to buy a book they've already picked out is a common occurrence.

"...do you think the cashier will know if i wanna pay by card if i take my card out? or should i announce it? like, 'hello, i shall pay with my card now.'"

"i'd advise against announcing it. honey, you do know millions of people pay by card every day?"

"yeah yeah, i know, but what if i do it wrong or embarrass myself or something??" you cringe at how stupid that sounds. nanami just exhales softly, his usual composed expression never faltering.

"i don't think there's a wrong way to pay, nor do i think any sane person would make fun of you if there was. you don't have to worry about that." you nod at the ever so logical response from your boyfriend. he didn't seem to mind that you were using him as human google.

"that's true... okay, i'll go in a bit," you mutter, still feeling anxious despite logically knowing nothing bad could happen.

"are you waiting for something?" he gently takes your free hand in his, sliding his fingers through yours.

"yeah, waiting until i feel like a normal person..." you take a deep breath and finally decide to get it over with. "alright, i'm going," you mutter, leading you and your boyfriend to the checkout counter.

your nerves finally seem to calm down after you manage to check out without incident. you're leaving the store with him, fingers still intertwined, as the outside heat hits you straight in the face.

"i made a big deal over nothing... sorry." you sigh, embarrassed you made your boyfriend bear through your analysis of hypothetical embarrassing situations.

"you say that, but you still did it, didn't you? for what it's worth, i think you did well today." you can't help but smile a little at that.

"thank you, kento." you look at him, and you could see the tiniest smile forming on his face.

"you still want to get coffee?" right, you almost forgot about that. you squeeze his hand tighter, having had enough social interaction for the day.

"uh, we have coffee at home, though," you say lamely, looking away.

"...you don't need to order if you don't want to." nanami offers you a reassuring look, understanding you might be tired.

"alright... let's go then." he nods and you start walking towards the café.

you can't be thankful enough your boyfriend has the patience and understanding of a saint.

first time writing nanami i hope i did him justice...

tags: high school au, childhood friends, reader has an inferiority complex, reader is avoidant, reader lowk needs therapy, gojo is trying his best, an attempt at angst, happy ending

wc: 2,9k

-

you hate satoru gojo.

you always have, from the moment he first approached you. it was long before middle school, before you understood how complicated people would be. you remember it with irritating clarity. you sat on the grass, staring at your sneakers. somehow, leisure time was the worst part of the day.

you didn't understand why he had gone up to you back then.

"what's your favorite color?" he asked. you didn't answer, but he sat with you anyway. "mine is light blue. like the ocean. and the sky on a sunny day. just like right now!" he pointed at the sky, like he wanted you to see.

you thought he was too talkative and annoying. that he was ruining your solitude by clinging to you. how you wanted him to just leave you to your own devices, even though he filled every gap where loneliness should've been.

"everyone! pair up in groups of two for this project!" you remember the teacher's shrill voice as clear as day. how you stared down at your hands in your lap, like ignoring your environment would somehow make it disappear.

a pair of hands slammed onto your desk. "y/n! what are you sulking about? let's pair up!" you looked up to see satoru looking at you with those striking blue eyes, and that carefree and confident smile you had always secretly envied.

you remember the first time he waited for you after class in middle school. he had followed you to lunch that day. you remember thinking, this idiot would follow me to the ends of the world if he could.

"hey, y/n! i saved you a spot, c'mon." satoru pats the spot next to him when he sees you walk into class. the homeroom teacher hadn't arrived yet. as soon as you sit down, he's already talking your ear off.

"you know that our graduation is coming up soon, right? have you thought about colleges yet?" he leans onto your side of the desk, playing with the edge of your sleeve absently.

"not really? i'll probably just go to one near my house." you sit still as you stare down at his hand fidgeting with your sleeve.

"cool. we'll just go to the same one then," he says casually, like it wasn't a big deal at all. his hand moves to the tie of your uniform, catching it between his fingers. they brush over the fabric once, smoothing it over, before letting it fall back into place. you could feel your heart pulse in your throat.

"move," you say flatly.

"huh?! what did i do?!" satoru pouts, looking at you like you just kicked his puppy.

"you're being annoying, leaning all over my desk like that. sit properly." he huffs in annoyance, but complies anyway. you sigh in relief.

his friends walk into class and take the seats in front of you. they're already laughing and chatting, and you wonder why he doesn't laugh like that when it's just the two of you.

at lunch, it's the same story. you're sitting with satoru at a table, and when his friends arrive, you suddenly feel like an outsider in a space that used to belong to the two of you. you're glued to your phone, not even doing anything productive, but you feel like you have no other option to act distracted.

"satoru, there's this new arcade near the mall. wanna check it out after school with shoko and i?" suguru addresses satoru, but satoru looks at you. great, here comes the pity invite you always decline.

"y/n, you could come if you want?" he pokes your cheek once, and you just shake your head no, not looking up from your screen. satoru just looks at you for a moment before turning back to his friends.

"actually, i have plans after school. gotta babysit my nephew and shit. he loves me." satoru sighs, placing a hand on his chest dramatically. suguru and shoko give each other a look.

after school, satoru catches up with you as you're exiting the gate.

"hey! it's no fair you're always leaving without me. i always wait for you!" satoru huffs, falling into step beside you. right, he waits for you when he's not hanging out with his other friends.

"didn't you say you have plans?" you look up at him, and he shoots you a grin.

"yup. i'm attending to them right now."

"...uh, your nephew?" you ask, confused on what he's getting at.

"no, you. i don't even have a nephew, you know this??" he scoffs and shakes his head disappointedly.

"...then why did you lie?" for some reason, his grin fades a bit when you ask.

"because i wanted to hang out with you, duh. you know, suguru and the others aren't so bad. it wouldn't hurt to say yes to their invite once in a while?" he suggests offhandedly, but you can feel the irritation bubbling up inside of you.

"their invite? you mean your invite."

he shrugs. "same difference."

"no, it's not. why do you keep inviting me? you don't have to pretend to care or whatever."

"wh- pretend? excuse me? y/n, i'm always inviting you because i want to hang out with you! because we're friends!" he lightly shoves your shoulder, as if you just said something ridiculous.

"yeah, alright..." you mumble in resignation.

you walk in silence for a moment. it was a beautiful spring day, not that you cared. whenever you walked into a shadow, you felt a rush of cool air, only for the radiating heat to hit you again once you stepped out. it felt like the sun was mocking you with its brightness.

"did i do something wrong?" satoru asks all of a sudden, catching you off guard.

"what? no. what makes you think that?"

"i don't know? you're just so distant now. you don't even talk to me when i'm with my other friends." he says it casually, but he's fidgeting with the edge of his sleeve. your heart skips a beat at the question.

"what's the problem with that?" you mumble, avoiding his eyes as you keep walking.

"y/n, the problem is that we barely hang out anymore. i miss talking with you, y'know?" he's looking at you now, you can tell, but you refuse to look at his face.

"well... okay? maybe we're just too different now." you grip the straps of your backpack tightly, like it's the only anchor you can hold onto in this conversation.

"different how? we've been friends since we were six! c'mon, there's something you're not telling me." he steps in front of you, making you stop walking. you finally look at him and see that weirdly serious look in his eyes.

"no? some people just grow apart..."

"but that isn't the case for us! we're still close, right? when it's just the two of us?" there's this pleading look in his blue eyes now, like he needs to know you're on the same page, but it only annoys you further.

"yeah, just when it's the two of us. not around others, don't you get that?" you snap, and satoru falters at that.

"huh? so you're upset because i'm hanging out with other people?"

"what...? no... i don't care who you hang out with..." you mumble, denying it immediately.

"then what is it? don't you see i hate seeing you like this?"

"like what?"

"like you're trying to disappear in the background. there's something you're not telling me."

"there isn't. i don't know what you're talking about, i've always been like this, haven't i?"

"no, no you have not. you know damn well this isn't about your personality." he places his hands on your shoulders, looking at you so intensely it hurts. "we're best friends. you know you can tell me anything, right?"

"we're not best friends." you say it slowly, with a resigned tone. like this was some unspoken truth you decided to say for the first time. satoru's entire expression falls.

"what?" he looked more hurt than confused. his hands drop to his sides.

"we're not close at all. you said it yourself. just because we were close in elementary school doesn't mean we're close now." you try to keep your voice stable, but a lump is already forming in your throat.

"what are you saying?" he frowns at you, looking at you with this mix of disbelief and hurt that makes your chest tighten with guilt.

"i'm saying that maybe we're better off without each other."

"okay, slow way the fuck down. no way you're saying that out of nowhere. do you think i'm replacing you or something?"

"what? no, i don't. we're just different people now, aren't we? is it that hard to believe i don't want to be around you?"

"yes! yes, it is hard to believe! it's always been us, and now you're saying you want to throw that away?"

"yeah, it was always us, until it wasn't!"

"so that's it? you're upset i have friends that aren't you?

"that's not what this is about-"

"then what is it about?!" he sounds so desperate to know, and you hate how concerned he sounds.

"you wouldn't understand..." your voice cracks when you say it, and you turn your head away. there were millions of things you wish you could say. like how you miss feeling important. how you wish it was just the two of you again. that maybe you were a bit jealous.

"then help me understand!" he holds your gaze, lips pressed together. "please..."

"forget it..." your voice cracks, and before you can stop them, the tears roll down your face. you turn away, bolting into a hurried jog, gaze locked onto the pavement.

satoru feels like someone just punched him in the gut. you're crying, and it's his fault. he reaches out, but doesn't stop you.

-

you avoid satoru for about a week. you pack up your stuff before class even ends. you escape into the library before satoru even gets the chance to catch up with you. you're moving in between classes like you're in a hurry.

it's not that you were mad at him. he didn't actually do anything wrong, right? it was just embarrassing to show your face in front of him after that whole ordeal with the crying.

satoru notices what you're doing. of course he does. at some point, he's fed up. you see him waiting at the gate as you're exiting the building. maybe you can walk past him without noticing? before you can think of another solution, he approaches you.

"hey! i know you're not about to run away from me," he says in his usual cheerful tone, slinging an arm around your shoulders. you don't know why you feel so relieved he's acting normal after everything that happened.

"get your arm off of me." you sigh, and his grin falters. he drops his arm.

"right..." he falls into step beside you, before speaking again. "so... how are you?" he asks, like he wants to postpone addressing the obvious elephant in the room.

"satoru. what do you want?" you mutter, kicking a pebble on the sidewalk.

"okay, look. i just want to talk, okay?" his usual carefree smile is entirely gone now, replaced by a serious, almost nervous look.

"about what? what happened last week?"

"yeah but... not just that, but about us, y'know? i'm sorry."

"for what?" you ask, staring ahead of you. you're about to reach the park you always pass on the way home.

"for upsetting you. fuck, i made you cry... and i hate that. i should've noticed sooner that something was wrong."

"i mean, it's fine. i didn't say anything. it's not like you could've known."

"yeah but, god... i know. truth is, i still don't understand. i still don't fully know what's going on inside your head, but i want to so badly, y/n."

"...no, but, it's stupid. it's just my own issues. i don't want to project that onto you. i'm not mad or anything, so it's fine now."

"don't do that. you keep saying 'it's fine' when you know it's not. and it's clearly not stupid if it's bothering you this much. i know there's something going on, but you need to tell me what."

"no, i swear, it's not a big deal. you're probably gonna judge me and think it's stupid anyway."

"no!" he stops in front of you. "no, i won't! i've been going insane this past week, okay? seriously, i wouldn't even care if you murdered a family!"

"wha- calm down! i'll tell you, okay?" you sit down at a nearby bench, and he follows suit. his gaze is solely focused on you. "it's just... do you remember when it was just us?" you stare down at your hands in your lap, fidgeting with the strap of your backpack.

"yeah, of course i do." he nods, as if recalling all of those past moments.

"yeah... and then you got all these other friends, and, i don't know... i just felt like i didn't have a place in your life anymore." you look up at him, and he's looking at you with these wide eyes, like he can't believe what you just said.

"...what?"

"you have all these great friends, they're social and fun and, it's not like you need me anymore, right? i'm just... kinda that friend you keep around because you feel like you have to."

"y/n, no. it's not like that at all. you really think i was keeping you around because i feel bad?" he's leaning forward now, like he needs you to look at his face to tell how sincere he is.

"but satoru, come on. we never hang out anymore. it's always just you and the others, but it's okay, i know i'm not exactly the 'fun' type of person."

"no! don't just jump to conclusions like that, jesus... i've been choosing to walk you home since we were six! you think i'd do that out of pity?"

"yeah, but that was in the past... you don't have to say things to make me feel better," you mutter, staring at the way the petals of a cherry blossom tree flutter to the ground.

"make you- what?" he recoils, like he was just accused of a crime. "y/n, do you know how many times you've told me to leave you alone? and i never listened once, you know why?"

"why?" you look at him, and you're just staring into each other's eyes for a moment.

"because i like you!" satoru exclaims, and his eyes widen after, like he can't believe he just said that. you're also staring at him in disbelief. this stupid guy, the one you had convinced yourself doesn't need you, likes you.

"...you like me?"

"yeah... i do. you don't have to say it back, i just needed you to know, alright?" he's looking at you with this relieved smile, like he's glad he told you after all.

"okay, well, even after all that shit i did? y'know... being difficult and stuff." satoru shakes his head at that, his tone brightens, as if to lighten the mood.

"that doesn't matter. besides, i'd be upset too if i was you. hell, i'd probably hit myself-"

"i like you too," you blurt out, and satoru's eyes pop out of his head. his entire body freezes, and he looks at you like he can't believe you're real.

"you... you do? actually?" you nod, and the surprise only lasts a few seconds before his usual confidence takes over. a self-satisfied grin forms on his face. "i mean, obviously you would like me. just look at my beautiful-" you hit his arm. "ow- hey!"

"you're so stupid," you say with that familiar feigned annoyance, and satoru gasps in mock offense, but he's grinning at you.

"wow, i profess my undying love for you and this is the response i get? you make me sick." he crosses his arms grumpily, before suddenly opening them wide, like a peacock showing off his feathers. "come here."

you reluctantly lean into his embrace, and his arms wrap around you like a cocoon. he's holding onto you like he never wants to let go, his chin resting on your shoulder. he faintly smells of vanilla and clean laundry.

after a moment, you're about to pull away, but he just tightens his grip on you.

"hello? are you not done?" you ask, starting to get annoyed. you've been publicly hugging in a park for over a minute.

"no. i'm having a healing moment." he stays like that a bit longer, and then finally pulls away from a hug.

the walk home is quieter than usual. you walk that familiar path to your house, and your fingers occasionally graze his. at some point, he takes your hand in his. you look at him and of course he's grinning.

you thought you hated satoru gojo.

you could think of a bunch of reasons not to like him. how loud and persistent he was, how he never left you alone, how easily he belonged everywhere you didn't.

but he never stopped waiting. he never stopped saving you a seat. he never stopped showing up. you were scared that he had changed, that he'd move on from you just like the rest of the world seemed to do, and that he'd stop being a constant in your life.

but he didn't.

tags: high school au, childhood 'friends' (acquaintances), gojo is lonely, reader is lowkey a tsundere, flufff...

wc: 1,4k

-

you're not particularly close with satoru gojo, you're more acquaintances than anything. even though you attend the same school and the same classes, befriending someone as loud and confident as him seemed beyond the realm of possibility.

since you literally lived next to him, of course your teacher would ask you to deliver the homework assignments to satoru while he's stricken by a fever.

you ring the doorbell when you get to his place, holding the sheets of paper in your hand. the porch faintly smelled of wood and cut grass. you stare at the peeled paint on the doorframe, briefly considering to just drop the homework on the doormat before he finally opened the door.

yikes. his face was flushed, his eyes glassy, and some sweaty strands of hair stuck to his forehead. his disheveled appearance made him look more like a victorian child with scarlet fever rather than the popular jock you saw at school.

"oh, it's you... what's up?" he spoke in a tired, nasal voice. he looked at you through half-lidded eyes.

"uh, i came to bring the homework. the homeroom teacher told me to bring it to you," you respond plainly, and you hold the homework towards him. he takes the papers with a frown.

"wow... seriously? i'm literally dying and now i have to do homework?" he sniffs dramatically and presses the back of his hand against his forehead like a damsel in distress, eyes squeezed shut in exaggerated misery. "i can feel it, y/n. the cruelness of the homework, the drudgery, seeping into my veins-"

"you can just do it after you're better?" you awkwardly interrupt him, not exactly sure if you should keep watching his theatrical performance. "uhm, i'll go now. get well soon," you say with one last glance, and for a split second, satoru looks disappointed.

"right... thanks!" he weakly called out, closing the door.

you get home with a sigh, taking your shoes off at the door. your mom stood in the kitchen, making food.

"welcome back, sweetie. how was your day?" she asked warmly, stirring the pot.

"good, i guess," you respond simply, sitting down at the kitchen table.

"you paid a visit to the gojo's? saw you through the window."

"creepy? but yeah... uhm, satoru is sick so i had to deliver the homework to him."

"he's sick? the poor boy. his parents are barely around to take care of him."

"...should you be saying that? and it's fine, he's old enough to take care of himself," you say while absently playing with the sleeve of your shirt. your mom gives you a look behind her shoulder.

"oh, don't be so heartless to your classmate, sweetheart. good thing i'm making soup, i'll put some in a container so you can bring it to him!"

"wh- no, wait, why me?? just bring it yourself!" you sputter, like socializing against your will was a crime.

"because it's good for you to talk with a classmate every now and then!"

and that's how you end up on satoru's front porch once again, thermal container in hand. you hope to just drop it off and get back home immediately. he opens the door, and his face lights up when he sees you holding the container.

"is that for me? you made me food? i knew you'd come back for me! i was so hopeless-" he immediately starts with the theatrics, and you have to awkwardly interrupt him yet again.

"uh, well, my mom made soup and she wanted to give you some. since you're sick..." you notice his expression softening at that. you hand him the container and you're about to turn away.

"wait! wanna come in? i just... don't like eating alone. cause y'know. i get lonely and stuff," he says with a playful smile, though there was a hint of seriousness beneath it. for some reason, maybe because your mom was scolding you about it earlier, or because of that weird pleading look in his eyes, you agree.

the place was tidy, but almost empty aside from the furniture. there wasn't a single decoration up, not even a family photo or something.

you take a seat at the kitchen table. after grabbing a spoon, satoru sits down across from you and opens the container.

"careful, it's still hot," you warn, and he just grins at you.

"aw, so you care about me? i knew you had a heart beneath that icy exterior," he teases, and proceeds to burn his tongue on the soup anyway. "oww! why didn't you tell me it was hot?!" he shrieks. all you can do in response is just stare blankly at him. you start to wonder if a fever can eat away at someone's braincells.

once the pain of burning his tongue subsides, he speaks again. "anyway, thanks for being so gracious to stop by. i've honestly been so bored these past few days..."

"really? well, it's no big deal. and besides, my mom made me do it." you sigh, and he just shakes his head.

"still, you decided to come in anyway. i know i'm irresistible, but get in line, sweetheart," he teases, running a hand through his hair. you're starting to think he's delusional.

"that's not even- never mind. just eat your soup, please." he complies, and silence takes over the room. for a moment you just observe him. it's stupid, but you can't help but think how ordinary he looks while eating soup.

"uh, so no one's taking care of you?" you ask offhandedly, just to fill the silence. you're caught between glancing at his face and staring at the way the soup moves with every scoop. he pauses, the spoon halfway to his mouth.

"...nah. why, are you worried?" now you regret asking. you sound way too concerned about someone you barely know.

"i guess? wouldn't it be nice to have company or whatever?" satoru raises an eyebrow at that. he leans back in his chair to take a proper look at your face, soup momentarily forgotten.

"that's what i have you for right now, no?" he tilts his head like a confused puppy.

"yeah but, not just right now. i was thinking that maybe you'd also like company... when you're not sick? you know..." you trail off, not wanting to say it outright. a faint smirk forms on his face.

"nope, i actually don't know. enlighten me."

you click your tongue. "i mean... for example, when you'd come over for dinner when we were little. you could still do that... now?" you cringe at the way you just said that without thinking, but satoru's eyes widen just slightly. "never mind, that's so stupid..."

"wait, you can't just take that back now! in fact, i'd love to grace you with my presence more often!"

"grace me with- what? don't say it like that, it's the opposite way."

"okay, but really? you'd really do that for me?" he's looking at you with these wide eyes, like you just offered to give him the world. your chest tightens.

"yeah... it's fine. since we're neighbors and all." you say it like it's no big deal, like being this kind to someone was normal for you.

"...just neighbors?"

"huh?"

"anyway! i really appreciate the offer." his tone brightens, like he just realized how serious the conversation got. "and i will make good use of it. a lot. every day?"

"i-"

"and i could come for breakfast and lunch on weekends too. y'know, just so you and your mom don't get lonely." he says it like you're the lonely one here.

"yeah... sure, you're free to do that..." you utter in absolute resignation and disbelief.

-

later that night, you're in your bed, staring at the ceiling. it's quiet now, the gentle hum of the fan enveloping your ears. you recall your visit to satoru earlier that day.

the way his face lit up when you showed up at his door. the way his eyes widened when you offered to let him come over for dinner.

wc: 656. a very awkward one-shot. sorry if this is weird i was inspired by a reddit comment 😭😭

-

you arrive at the cinema earlier than expected. the summer heat was suffocating, and once you enter the cinema, you immediately regret it. when was the last time you even went to a place like this?

the air feels weirdly moist and you don't even know where to buy the tickets. you decide to awkwardly stand behind a random line of people. you're sweating now, and scrolling on the weather app just to do something with your hands.

after unnecessarily checking your calendar app for the 5th time, you opt to ask the white-haired male in front of you what movie this line is for instead of just standing around anxiously.

"excuse me, i'm sorry but what movie-" before you can even finish your sentence, he turns around with a swoosh. the sound of heavy pattering came. probably an entire kilogram of lentils fall out of the paper bag he's holding. you're utterly puzzled at the sight. lentils??

"o-oh god, i'm so sorry. please wait a sec..." the poor guy mumbles an apology and crouches down to pick up the lentils he just dropped with shaky hands, shoving them back into the bag bit by bit.

you don't even know why, but you also crouch down and help this hot nerd pick up the lentils from the crusty carpeted floor. at this point, his friends have also noticed and just abandon him to buy popcorn.

"you, uh... you don't have to help, i got it," he mutters, looking at you through his glasses. you feel bad. he seems like he's on the verge of tears just from publicly dropping his lentils.

"oh no, it's really okay. technically it's my fault since i caught you off guard," you say simply, continuing to pick up the lentils. your hand accidentally brushes his, and he turns bright red. he mumbles something that sounds like 'sorry.' the ticket agent is just watching the absurd sight from a distance.

"but uhm, why are you bringing lentils to a cinema? is it like a snack, or?" you break the silence with the question that's been plaguing your mind ever since he dropped them.

"no, no, i just... i had some extra time and i decided to run some errands before seeing the movie," he responds, and the last lentil finally disappears into the bag. "you were asking something, right? sorry for dropping my lentils..." he says with a defeated sigh. you both stand up.

"right... yeah, no, it's okay. i was just wondering what movie you're seeing? cause i didn't know... and yeah..." you trail off awkwardly. he's looking at you, listening so attentively that you forget how to use words. he perks up a little at the question.

"oh! i'm seeing toy story 5. i'm about to buy the tickets with my friends-" he turns around just to realize that they're gone. "i mean i- was going to? but... if you're seeing the same movie, would you wanna see it together...? no pressure though! it's fine if not..." he finally mutters, and you're pretty sure you saw his face go through the five stages of grief from those few sentences alone.

you can't help but laugh a little. he's asking you out like an awkward middle schooler. his face drops when he notices you're laughing. "i'm so sorry! forget i asked, i'll just..." he's about to turn away, probably in tears you laughed at his request.

"no, wait! sure, i'd love to see toy story 5 with you!" you yell it like it's some forbidden confession, and his face lights back up again. "just... don't drop your lentils again? hahaha...?" you make an awful excuse for a joke to lighten the mood, but for some reason this guy actually laughs with you.

"ahaha, ha... funny joke! so... wanna get some popcorn?" he asks shyly, and you just nod and fall into step beside him.

wc: 519.

-

you were never really the outgoing type. you're the kind of person who leaves the house with the same dread as a prisoner who just got sentenced to death. you'd rather chew on broken glass than tell a barista she messed up your order.

...which is why you have no clue how you ended up with your boyfriend. satoru is always the most confident person in every room he walks into. sometimes you envy his lack of self-awareness, because only someone like him could be this unapologetically obnoxious.

despite all this, he actually makes for an incredibly supportive boyfriend. a little too supportive.

you just ordered coffee, and as you two sit down near the windows, satoru shakes his head proudly and looks at you from across the table like you just solved world hunger.

"baby. baby. that wasn't so bad, was it? i am so proud of you. let me get my star stickers." he reaches into his bag and grabs this pink and glittery notebook titled 'y/n's personal growth journal.' he flips through the pages like a man on a mission.

"satoru, oh my god... didn't i tell you to stop with the stickers? all i did was order coffee..." you mumble, embarrassed but secretly grateful.

"yes, but you learned from it," he responds, and you can't help but smile a little. he puts a star sticker under being brave during everyday moments. "look at that. you almost have ten stickers. ten. baby, this calls for a celebration."

you sigh. "i'm not an elementary schooler. you can put that away now," you say flatly, and satoru gasps.

"excuse me? it's for your progress. i'll give you a big fat smooch for every ten stickers if that helps," he suggests cheekily, running his fingers through his snow-white hair. the barista places your drinks on the table with a side-eye.

"thank you..." you mumble nervously to the barista, and satoru is already placing the 10th sticker in the notebook. "yes! c'mere and gimme a kiss, sweets."

"okay, no. you already do that enough anyway. you don't have to do anything special, okay? it's just a fun little notebook. it's cute, but y'know. whatever." you shrug with feigned nonchalance, taking a sip of coffee.

satoru pouts. like, actually pouts. he crosses his arms and turns his head away like some grown-ass tsundere. the sight is weirdly endearing. "hmph. i'm rewarding you anyway. deal with it, sweet cheeks."

"...what the hell?"

he keeps his word, though. every time you step out of your comfort zone, every time you do something you'd been too afraid to do a year ago, satoru celebrates it with you like some proud mother hen.

he gets you little gifts and buys you your favorite snacks to reward you. he leaves little love notes around, like on your laptop, tucked between your books, and even inside your shoe (?? why). they're cute little messages like 'every moment matters :)' and 'i love your bravery <3.'

this is mostly a crack fic. reader is a self-insert. also first time writing!!

wc: 1,2k

-

if arrogance had a name, it would be called satoru gojo. frat president satoru gojo, too good for anyone, the kind of guy that was chronically unbothered. the kind of guy that can't even remember the name of a girl he just hooked up with, let alone a girl as 'plain' as you.

"yo, four-eyes," satoru greets, sliding into the seat next to you. the library is quiet, the soft hum of the airco settling into the room.

unfortunately there are things this idiot can't flirt his way out of, such as calculus. it wouldn't even be that bad if you were tutoring someone who didn't act like a hyperactive toddler who needed constant stimulation. satoru can't focus to save his life.

"actually, what was your name again? no, no, wait, don't say it - let me guess. maeko? hina? airi? nah, you don't look like an airi-"

"can we just focus on the work?" you sharply interrupt him, and this guy has the gall to roll his eyes like you were the crazy one here.

"what's up your ass today?" he mutters stubbornly, but opens his textbook anyway. "god, this is hurting my eyes. why is there so many y-primes? what even is this for?"

"the y-prime denotes the derivative of a function. it represents the rate of change of y with respect to x. you don't even know that?" you sigh, patience running thin.

"heh. you don't even know that?" he mocks you with a high-pitched voice, sticking his tongue out.

oh my god. just ignore it, you tell yourself. don't try to argue with it, just carry on with the tutoring like usual.

not even 10 minutes into studying, his chair screeches back and he abruptly stands up. "i can't do this anymore! this is inhumane. it's torture. it's cruel and unusual punishment," he says loudly, making the librarian glare at him. you actually wanted to curl up and die at this point.

"satoru, i have my own things to study for, i want to get this over with too-" before you can finish your sentence, he grabs your wrist and drags you out of your seat. you have to hurriedly snatch your bag in order not to leave your stuff behind.

"where are you taking me?!" you ask, trying to shake out of his grasp.

"a place where you can loosen up and get that stick out of your ass!" he yells in response, not letting go.

what stick.

he's just dragging you along, and you're trying not to trip over your feet while keeping up with him. you don't know why, but you kinda just let him take you away. and he doesn't let go, not even when you reach the frat row near campus. you hear the faint sound of music and people talking.

a frat party. fuck. you actually feel your heart drop to your ass. you don't go to social outings. you order coffee with the nervous system of someone going to war. but he doesn't stop, no, this demon drags you with him to the pits of frat hell.

"wait, satoru-" you protest, but he quickly interrupts.

"nuh uh uh, you clearly need a hobby that isn't solving for x. you'll be alright, my sugary princess," he says almost mockingly, already looking for some frat bros to dap up.

it doesn't take that long for him to abandon you. it feels wrong to just leave now that you're already here. you're holding a red solo cup filled with some mysterious concoction in your hand as you're just standing there in the kitchen.

it's crowded. it's loud. the music is so loud you can feel the bass in your chest. you feel like your heart could burst from how hard it's beating. and you also feel like you're one second away from being harassed by a frat boy...

"yikes, i didn't know this was an open house!" some beefy tall guy approaches you, wearing a backward cap like he was stuck in middle school.

"what?" you respond, honestly too stunned to say anything else.

"are you deaf? guess your sense of style isn't the only thing you're lacking!" the guy retorts. rude, it's not your fault the music is so damn loud!

"i can't hear you!" you yell back, even though you heard his petty insult clear as day. it was easier to pretend you didn't. you try to escape just to bump into another guy. he's wearing a crusty red hoodie that looks like it holds secrets, and he looks at you with red-rimmed eyes.

"yo, girl, chill! the fuck you in a hurry for? though i might have something to calm you down..." the guy smirks, making you grimace.

"i'm good! really!" you say unenthusiastically, never having even touched a joint in your life.

"no way, you look like you need it. i have good shit. c'mon, just try this." he shoves a pill towards your mouth, and before you can even think you punch him square in the face.

holy shit! you've never punched a guy before. you run out of the frat and you're smiling. maybe because you successfully defended yourself. or maybe because you punched a guy? either way, you're ecstatic when you reach your dorm.

-

the next time you see satoru, he's sliding into that familiar seat next to you.

"sup airi. no wait, that's not right... well, anyway, my bad for leaving you at that party last week. got kinda carried away," he says nonchalantly, expecting his uptight tutor to bite back somehow.

"satoru... yeah, whatever. you know what? i think i actually learned something about myself there," you say while biting back a smile, happy you punched some guy.

"...really?" satoru pauses at that smile of yours, and that smug jerk comes to some revelation that he did you a favor. she's smiling because of me. "well, you're welcome. told ya i'd get you to loosen up. you were just too stubborn to listen." satoru nudges your side with his elbow, grinning proudly.

"uhm? let's just get to studying," you state, and for once, satoru actually complies. he wouldn't want to accidentally ruin your good mood by not being able to find a slope or whatever.

you're explaining an equation to him, and you look up from your notes just to see him gazing at you lovingly, resting his cheek on his fist and everything. what the fuck?

"...what?" you ask, creeped out by his gaze.

"finally making eye contact with me. i knew you had it in you," gojo says with a grin, and you hate how that smile made your heart skip a beat.

"knew i had what in me? what the fuck are you talking about?" you say with even more confusion, genuinely appalled now.

"i knew you had it in you to let loose for once. to be free. and it's all because of me, sweetheart. don't worry, you don't have to thank me. i'm such a magnanimous, kindhearted-"

"do you even know my name?" you ask flatly. that catches him off-guard. his eyes widen, just slightly. for a moment, satoru gojo genuinely looks flustered.