t.r

You inspire me that happy endings were true. That through every little bad things in life there is always a happy ever after through it all. You gave me the feeling of being love and never the threat of abandonment. You give me the feeling of confidence of embracing my insecurities and flaws and shine among the bright stars in the sky. You hold me with this unforgettable feeling of warmth that when everytime I'm with you or talk to you it feels like home. You kiss me with such a passionate sensation with your affectionate plum pink lips. You wrap you body around mines like a pulled string from the universe. You have such chestnut eyes like the middle of harvest season when all orange shades of leaves fall at just the right amount. You have these hands that run with power & strikes me by each trail of fingers you place upon my body. You are like warm coffee in the morning just enough cream & the right amount of sugars. You are the sun that peaks onto the dark white sheets at dawn. You are the meaning of love. You are the meaning of hope. You are my home.

my mind is an endless brick of thought the simplest thought of being alone. the thought on why I'm never good enough. the feeling of being disgusted by others the simplest emotion of depression fleeting through my veins. the emotion washing over me like a crackhead cleansing their body from the detox of their use to be euphoria. I sit alone at this table with a question that starts with: why? why was I born if nobody wanted me? why was I told to give my all if I wasn't gonna get enough back ? why say I love you if people treat you as a game ? why did my dad just give up on me ? why does my mother feel the need to seek love in those who harm her? my answer to all that is: I'm tired... tired of the lies, disappointments the feeling of never being good enough. I lay at night thinking about the day my father left me with no trace leaving his little princess to a mother who seeks home into random men who have issues of themselves. I fake a smile with the world but deep down I'm nothing but lonely I lie to love ones who show support with the famous phase " I'm fine" when deep down all I wanna do is scream I grew up with a curse of sadness trapped in the hurt & despair for eternity. I just wanna feel something ... anything please.