i'm an anchor. i'm letting you go.

you could have been one already but you chose not to. more than a year later, i still carry it. i'm still feeling guilty for it. and that sucks. i know it wasn't my fault but damn i cant forget that i made you choose that.

my heart still hurts up to now because i know you always wanted to be a dad.

maybe i should stop altogether, so we both get to move on.

i know i keep saying this but maybe it's time to just. stop. on my 50th day. on father's day.

i'm at day forty and so far i am having my 3rd relapse.

i finally learned that i shouldnt be treated this way. i am better off without you if this will be how i'll feel forever.

i love you so much it hindered me to see what is really going on with us.

"I can't" then, don't, love. i don't understand but some day, i know i will.

thank you for the memories you've given. it's what's keeping me sane in this quarantine. that some day, some one will treat me like how you treated me before. and he will treat me better.

i just wish i will never look back again.