Sideblog to Ali2ter

He braced himself, rather casually, for her question and when it came he pressed his lips together tightly and could feel the tiniest pop of heat rush to his face. Meis wouldn’t consider it embarrassment but the way she asked brought a bit of subdued giddiness to the surface. “You can’t tell?” he asked, raising a brow as if he thought Aina was joking. “I guess we don’t make it too obvious, then. But you have a good eye.”

“Look! Short of witnessing you two making out, I try not to assume...” Anymore. Although her usual past assumptions were something of a slightly different category--orientation over relationship status--Aina thought she’d embarrassed herself enough for one lousy decade, thanks. Her pride couldn’t bear any more funny little mishaps. So, shrugging away her bashfulness, Aina tried not to dwell on it.

Target sighted. Whether or not Lio wanted to be was another matter altogether, but she couldn’t not include him. Even if they weren’t super close or knew each other all that well... well. It was her birthday, so she made the rules this time. Sauntering over with paper plate, plastic fork, and piece of cake balanced in hand, Aina approached the lone acquaintance, offering the confection gently in his direction. Marble, white icing. Nothing particularly fancy, but it was good! As if she would serve anything less.

“Okay, I know you didn’t forget..” Aina accused, glancing over her shoulder. It wouldn’t be like him. It wasn’t like him. Her birthday had been marked on the calendar since the beginning of the year; there was absolutely no way this big, blue goof could have missed it. Yet, the firehouse was oddly normal today. This morning. Too normal. Too quiet. Frankly, Aina didn’t trust any of them for a second, especially Galo. He, mm... no, she didn’t suppose he was much of a plotting sort of person, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t try.

Birthday Stuff @genesisoul

“Oh, sorry.. It’s really not a big deal.” Aina shakes her head. Birthdays happen every year, and this year... Aina didn’t plan anything for it. Too busy. She hasn’t really in a super celebratory mood, either, but she appreciates the thought, looking to Ani with an apologetic smile. It’s not Ani’s fault for that, though, so there’s no sense worrying her about it. “I’m just getting ooold.”

Birthday Stuff @thymost

“Wh--hey!” Galo, this is nearly as big as she is--maybe wider, definitely wider. Careful! She staggers, clutching the bear as if it’d offer her any support whatsoever if she fell backwards. Luckily for Aina, though, she just manages to right herself against a wall before that could happen. She balances there, peeking around the bear’s massive head in her teammates general direction. She loves it, though. It will get placed lovingly on her couch as soon as she gets home.

Aina hadn’t gone home in a while. Days. Too many. It wasn’t that she didn’t go out on her days off--frankly, she had to sometimes--but she liked the noise. Her apartment was too quiet. Too empty. Music only helped so much to ease the void, so Aina stayed. She wasn’t working, technically, now or the day after. Yet, who there would question her? They had a room with beds, and they were there for a reason. Shifts were long and humans need rest.

She remembered when they used to pull twenty-four hour shifts. Why they changed it was a little beyond her, but--it wasn’t important. Idle thoughts. Aina sighed, rolling to one side and then slowly upright on the bunk. Well, as long as she was here, and the team was out..? There was a messy ready room downstairs with her name on it. No matter how many signs Aina put up, it was rarely neat or tidy. Clean, but only sometimes. It was the price she paid for working with so many boys, she mused, shuffling into her sneakers and out the door, down the hallway, stairs...

“Oh.” Aina blinked. She wasn’t as alone as she’d thought, mental arithmetic failing her. Galo was out working, right? Maybe? Leaning against the door-frame, Aina surveyed the scattered chairs, the couch, Lucia’s work station--peering further into the garage as if it’d answer her any better than Lio could. Huh.

melancholy

In longing, you are melancholy. You feel deeply and quietly, the feeling of yearning constant, like your own personal raincloud over your head that rains cold and collects in your heart, sometimes filling to overflow. The feeling follows you around and you push it away, but its always just a step behind; when it catches up to you, it turns your expression from a bright smile to a brief look down and your lips pulled into a kind of grimace. You bite your lip to break the look and hope no one notices. But secretly you hope someone did.

You know this feeling is a creation of your own mind but you just can't shake it, and in some ways, you don't even want to. You know in your head what you desire is doubtful, but in your heart you don't want to give it up. The feeling is close to sadness but it's deeper, more meaningful than that. It pulls at your gut in a way that could bring you close to tears with a mere thought of that which you seek. Be strong my love, your time will come.

Tagged by; @burnishking kind of

--even if, I think, she’d kind of like to say more. Even if she’s very sympathetic & a lot of things clearly upset her, it takes someone like Galo--for example, getting up in Vulcan’s face--for her to take a stand, herself. It’s not that she’s incapable, but she’s been so beholden to Being Good and Not Causing Problems--whether for her sister’s sake or whatever have you. Gotta follow the rules and respect those with more authority, whether she likes it or not.

(Which, when I think about all this, makes me think of some Japanese mentalities regarding politeness & consideration. Conformity. Meeting expectations. Needs of the many vs the needs of the few, n all that stuff. In media, it’s often portrayed as at the expense of the Individual’s well-being / self-expression. I could really get into it, but I think I’m getting slightly off-topic)

Anyway, TL;DR Aina has a lot of emotional baggage that she’s never properly learned how to cope with. Galo is a good influence on her, intentionally or not. Galo comes from a similar situation, and while he may be an “idiot” -- well? Sometimes that’s not a bad thing. Which is to say, with Aina struggling to express herself, I also think folks like Gueira or Meis could be a genuinely positive influence on her, too. Sure, they’re rowdy, but that’s... good.

“You’re fine,” Gueira assured her with a dismissive wave. “I ain’t about holding grudges.” Only partially true, but at least not over something so petty.

He continued with their banter, not really expecting a response until she informed him that she did, in fact, think he was, as she so eloquently put it, ‘pretty cute’.

Did that stroke his ego a bit? Perhaps. Perhaps more than a bit. Whether in jest or as a sworn oath, a compliment was a compliment, and he was proud to take it.

“You’re quite the looker yourself. From someone like you I’ll take that in high regard, Ms. Ardebit~” Still smirking, he quirked an eyebrow. “Though I gotta say, I’m curious about these ‘biases’ of yours.”

“Aina. Just... just Aina,” she corrected, as if that was the most important part of what he said. Still, it was the little things sometimes. Things she had to say, even if it didn’t really matter... that much. Aheh. Yet, far from dwelling on it, her voice was hushed and light, shrugging into a much wider gesture. Oh boy, story time. Sort of. A very concise story, but perhaps telling? Mm...

“--and it’s nothing, really. Just some of my friends--not naming names. They know who they are--won’t let me live down a crush I had when I was fourteen.” As if somehow she hadn’t changed at all since then! Aina had a few ideas why they were like this. So stupidly insistent about this one little thing. Well, for one... Aina kept reacting to it. That was probably a big one, huh? It didn’t help that Aina had no such luck falling for anyone since then.

“You share an aesthetic. It’s really stupid.” She shook her head, not to be defeated just yet. “Honestly, I think they just like antagonizing me. So, if I make fun of me... I’m hoping it’ll ruin their fun.”