june & after

lets be real here.

I’m still here.

And on my bad days, I understand that jealousy. On the days when instability gets tiring, I feel too old to be drinking and traveling and sleeping around and changing my life plan the way other people change shirts. On the days when I’m sick and delirious in a lonely hotel room in Cambodia, I want the traditional ‘adult’ type things that my friends seem to so desperately covet. But those days are also few and far between. The truth is, I hardly ever feel shitty about the fact that I am not ‘adulting’ the way I seemingly ought to be. I love my life. And I’m tired of pretending I don’t.

Because that’s a fact. I’m Hannah forever — no matter what I do, no matter whether I start a new nuclear missile crisis with my emotions or just sit back and chill and give someone a fruit basket. I can only control the mayhem I create around me.