I play dead. I stay dead.

Wow I am still alive lol

I still want to write. My only life goal is to publish something. Just 1 thing and I'll be okay.

That's not the update lol

So after a year of completely leaving the ff world because I got a job...

No I am not quitting nor being fired.

Well, I am leaving my post. My account. Basically being redeployed. I had a redeployment scare last May. Lmfao yes, on my birth month. Well I found out the last week of April and then they kept postponing it saying the papers I need to sign aren't ready yet, until I was officially RETAINED. And now it's finally happening.

I just found out last night from my supervisor. I've been skipping work a lot recently because I have been sick. This past week I had a minor upper respiratory infection. 3 weeks prior my vertigo was giving me a shitty time, my tinnitus causing it so the doctor advised me to stop using my headset at work. Good thing our team has a speaker and my supervisor is letting me play DJ while we work lol. (Btw I work for, outsourced, but work for SiriusXM. DM me if you have questions hahahaha I'm kidding, please don't. I don't want to get sued.)

Speaking of being sick lately, I've been diagnosed this year for a lot of illnesses lmfao. You can say I'm the illest, huh. Lol. Anyway to make it short, I have Hypertension, Type 2 diabetes (not yet officially diagnosed but you know, let's just assume cuz all the lab tests dont fecking lie), I have Myoma in my womb and have minor kidney stones. I was rushed to the ER in July. That's on top of all the ailments I already have, physically and mentally.

So yeah, after a year of slaving away in my current account, I will be leaving soon. I'll be in the same BPO company, but I'll be placed elsewhere.

New account, new people to meet.

This time I am not worried or scared just like before when I was first redeployed. Because first of all, the guy that I liked no longer works with me. The first time I kinda fell in love with a real breathing, non celebrity guy and nothing happens lol. 2nd is, I am ready to let go of this account, of SXM. The people are awesome, but working for that account is like your left foot is already buried on your grave. Everyday is your last day lmfao. No one lasts there anymore.

I had this plan last year to become a Trainer, or at least become a Subject Matter Expert, I had big hopes that I will last here. I was surprised I lasted a year, but now I realized, it's not for me yet.

It's not my time yet.

So to make a long story short, we might get evicted soon.

No, it's not because we did a bad thing. We've been renting here since 2007, I think? Or maybe even before that, I honestly forgot.

And my Godmother is our land lord. She doesn't own the land and the houses, she's just a manager/trustee of the multiple houses. So the owner died and they couldn't find papers and the land title. So my Godmother lost the court battle vs. our local government. So probably, any time now, we might get evicted.

The eviction part was not our problem. My dad bought 2 lands in a city 2 hours away from where we live. And he was also looking at properties 1 hr away. And my cousin's next door neighbor is selling their house fully furnished because they are moving away abroad and can't take everything, obviously.

MY problem is, idk if I should movie in with my friends (they are a couple with 1 baby who is my Goddaughter) or I should rent near my job and live alone.

Pros:

My cat and 2 dogs won't be lonely when I leave for work, my friends are working from home and have lots of animals in the house too. 2 dogs and 3 cats!

I wont worry at all leaving a whole house unattended with just 2 dogs and a cat.

I wont get lonely, I've never lived alone in my life and I'm in my 30's now lol.

My rent with them is super cheap and I can have their 2nd room for myself.

Cons:

Their rented house is 1 hour away from my job.

I have a limited budget for rent, plus electric and water bill. My current city (and this is where I was born too) is safe, no fault lines. And that makes it EXPENSIVE to live in.

There are cheap places but I don't like the neighborhood and are fire prone (it's a know factrumor that the mayor of our city hire people to cause fire in the slum areas to redevelope them)

I have irritational fears of fire, robbery and all that shit. Maybe I didn't leave enough ventilation when I go to work and go home to 3 dead pets!!!!!!

I am super mentally ill, my babies keep me sane. I might go crazy if I leave them to my dad's care.