jstaysclassy

NEW SCHEDULE ALERT!

I'm throwing in a new game into the mix because I can and feel like something different. That's all I got, see y'all Saturday night!

So about those world dragons…

Time for test number 2 of the week

I’m leaving this here for those that are scared and afraid about their future. Never forget that you are loved. If you want a place to just escape, my Discord server is open to you. Don’t forget to reach out to loved ones too IRL. We can make it through this.

Sky Strikers Defeat

Time for test number 1 of the week

This was originally posted on Threads:

Since Twitter is on fire right now, I’ll also post my stream schedule here as well. It’s essentially last week’s schedule but I canceled last week due to a bad mental and emotional state I was in, so here it is:

Also, if you want to join me on Saturday night for some UNO, just let me know. I’ll DM you the link to my Discord server so you can join in.

With all that said, I’ll see y’all tomorrow night ✌🏾

As for Wednesday, it’s going to be a test stream to see how well it works again. To ensure that nothing goes wrong with the stream, I did implement some rules for it that can be seen below 👇🏾

I hope y’all will be able to stop by and I hope you are having a great weekend. ✌🏾

I just realized that just now while I was working on some stuff…I’m alone. During 2020, I felt like I was on top of the world. A decent group of friends that are always around to chat and whatnot. But as time moves forward, life does too. Life doesn’t wait for anyone, no matter how much it seems unfair. On my quest towards mental and emotional healing, I realized that I was holding back, not just because of my past experiences with bullying, but because I was trying to hold on to something that can’t always be.

My streams had so much life back in the day, but now they are just me talking to the void. Sometimes it’s a good thing, other times I just wish there was that extra voice there with me. But we can’t always get what we want…and I have to accept that. It would be nice to at least have one person reach out and see how I was doing or to just say that I’m doing a great job or something. Again, we can’t always get what we want.

Sometimes the loneliness is just unbearable. It feels like no matter how many people I meet, I’m just going to wind up alone in the end…and that honestly scares me more than anything. I hope that I can find that one person that will never leave one day…but I’m not holding my breath.

As you can see, my mental and emotional state are still a work in progress if I’m feeling like this right now. But I’d much rather have it be a work in progress than what it was last year or even years before. All I can do is keep moving forward and do my best to keep the faith alive within myself.

I rarely post on here as it is since I don’t have much of a following to do so, so it makes sense for me to also say this here. On one of my Twitch streams earlier in the week, I took some time before getting into the games where I talked about some changes that are happening. You can read them here (from left to right):

But that’s not the only thing I brought up. I also brought up the topic of forgiveness, something that I saw myself doing less and less of as the years went on. There's so many people I have yet forgive in my life and I don't even remember their names...but that doesn't matter.

I've held on to so much pain for so long that it was doing me a MAJOR disservice to myself and the people around me. So, in order for me to move forward within my mind and begin to finally heal, it starts here and with more than just forgiveness on my part...

One thing I also realized is that I did hurt a lot of people too. I'm definitely no saint myself, I've made my mistakes too. Some of those mistakes have hurt those around me...and I've never apologized for it...a mistake that I've lived with for far too long.

So, to those that have wronged me and have scared me so greatly...I forgive you. You might not remember me, I surely don't remember you or what you look like...but I remember what you did, the pain you caused me...and I forgive you. This doesn't me I'll forget it, remember that.

To those I've wronged in my life in any way, again, you might not remember me and I don't remember you...but I have a feeling you remember the pain I caused you...and I apologize for all I've done. Wether you accept it or not, it's up to you, I can't force you to do anything.

And to myself, the one that's typing all of this...it's time to forgive yourself for holding on to all this pain, for essentially holding yourself back from moving forward...for letting hatred win...you deserve better, and you will get better...it all starts here.