They say drunk drivers survive the crash because their bodies are so limp. The people they hit die because they were bracing for the impact they saw coming. Is it better to be drunk and ignorant or aware and dead? Right now I’m bracing for impact. I see death on the horizon, I know what it looks like because it’s followed me around for a decade. I see the fear in everyone’s eyes. I’m bracing for the impact of losing you. Of everyone losing you. Of no one knowing what to say to me when you’re gone. I keep trying to imagine how empty it’s going to be waking up without you. Emptier than the day after the worst break up I could ever imagine. I pet the dog and my mind drifts to ‘this won’t feel the same when she’s gone’ and I watch you sleep and think “she will be okay but I won’t”.