Graham Crackersss

@IHateYouAll: #tbt to when @j_grahamusa forced me to play football for him. 

The fact that you think there’s going to be a day when I’m not going to difficult just proves how long you’ve been gone. They suck because they’re alive, and functioning. And you know it’s in mine to always deny complimenting you, or anyone. A lot of people say I compliment a lot now, which…I refuse to see. 

Sssh, don't remind me. I was at least trying to pretend like I wasn't so incredibly out of touch. Wait a second, so I had to work my ass off to even get you to admit you considered me a friend, and now other people are reaping in the benefits of your newfound softer side? I don't approve at all. Totally unfair. 

Because nothing in the world would be right if I gave in that easily. I don’t know…I don’t keep up on anything that doesn’t involve me. I don’t even care how self-centered that sounds. These people suck. I don’t think anyone cares as much as you do. 

Okay, that's true. But one of these days you're not going to be difficult and the entire world is going to be taken by surprise. Then they'll probably comment on it and ruin it, but it'll happen that's the point. Ugh. How am I not surprised by that? Do these people suck because they don't care as much as I do, is that what you're saying? Or do you not pay attention to them because they suck. You know it's in my nature to take things whichever way will end up complimenting me.

I don’t cry. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Ew, did he really? You’re not that cool.

Why do you act like you don't love me when we all know the truth? Alright so come on, catch me up. Have you been holding down the fort here at BN since my departure? Have there been any presidential strides since I've been gone? My guess is NOPE.

Shut up. I missed you too. It’s so weird to actually see you.

You're not going to start crying on me are you? Don't pull an Ian.

Always.

You and your dramatics. I missed you, Mar.

Full-naming yourself is very pretentious of you, Mr. Football Star. Don’t tell me all of that responsibility has given you an even bigger head. You know I don’t like to have to deflate your ego. It’s my job to do the opposite. How did finals go? I expect you to email me a screencap of your grades so that I can hang it up somewhere. Don’t judge me. Oh, and just a warning, Lorraine has bottle rockets hidden in our room in preparation for some impending prank war. I already stole Drew’s chocolates from his pillow in the morning. I think I’ve ignited it without knowing. Gosh, I missed you. Did I say that yet? 

I'm trying to keep up with you, duh. I'm about to start talking James Joyce and silently laughing at those who were forced to attend Princeton. How quaint, right? Everything inflates my ego, you know this, you're not new. Finals went pretty well, I'd say. I was surprisingly super prepared. I've taken your A+ study habits with me, tutor girl. And sure mom, screencaps will be coming your way soon. Ugh, this is why none of you can be trusted to start prank wars without me. We shouldn't be going after each other. We're the visitors, we have to ruin the lives of the ones we're visiting. Carson's been getting off too easy, I just know it. And I bet you anything no ones messed with Mari. And that's unacceptable. No you didn't mention it, but I thought that was a given. I really missed you too, Luciana. School, life, all that jazz. It's not the same without you, you know? It's like, HOW DO I GO ON WITHOUT MY ROCK? But don't worry. I'm surviving. Just barely though. 

Don’t ever try to drive on an hour of sleep again. I’ve been worried sick.

Oh come on, Luce. I'm Joshua Graham, lack of sleep can't stop me. I could've slept and then came, but I couldn't wait knowing you already got here. Ian too. Plus that asshole Drew wouldn't stop blowing up my phone. I had finals, you know. And football stuff. Busy guy over here, too much responsibility I have too much fun with. And I'm talking your ear off because I'm stupid and I don't care how often we speak over the phone and stuff, it's got nothing on seeing you in person. I'm EXCITED. It's almost EMBARRASSING.