Joshua Against The Block.

I’ve suddenly realised there are only twenty poems I would want in a book. In total. After 10 years of poetry.

Coke so white you can cut it with a knife

Coke so white you can call it lot’s wife

Coke so white

Coke so white will never. Have to teach its kids their rights

Coke so white is jesus christ:

The second coming is never coming but you still believe the hype

Coke so white

coke so white knows the difference between sexism and bants

Coke so white's an indie band it'll always get a second chance

Coke so white was in the nineties

dueting with Nelly

It’ll show up at the vmas dressed up as a mammy

it’s spirit is ugly

it’s blood type is money

Coke so white is default on telly

Which is why coke so white won best hip hop at the grammy

Coke so white

Coke so white it’s a flaming dragon punch

it will mix your blood sweat and tears in its bowl of Credit Crunch

Where you see a pig sty

Coke so white sees number 10 downing street

Coke so white doesn’t buy a house it buys the whole streets

doesn’t go on holidays it buys the whole beach

if you can own the house of lords why settle for mp's

Come so white

Coke so white is post racial, doesn't even see see black

Used to be in coca cola, coke so white wants to be black

You know they cast a white dude to play Martin Luther king in a play

Mate, nowadays coke so white Dont even need black

Coke so white deeply regret but it’s gestures are dishonest

coke so white in a Bentley, slow-clapping your progress

coke so white is sipping tetleys, sticking profits to your promise

Coke so white is with a newscrew, rummaging through your belongings

there’s coke so white on the telly making a mockery of your prophets

coke so white don’t care if you made it out the shires

With your bare bars and you're jay z of middle earth

As Far as coke so white's concerned

You are still a hobbit

Coke so white

boys will be boys

girl will be toys

No one will ever mistake its pronouns

all other colours are background noise

coke so white’s the only one who emigrates by choice

Coke so white is certain you will never drown ihe voice

Cis middle aged in Jamaica giving away hand jobs

is belly pouched in vietnam with a happy ending after every back rub

Come so white will see you floating face down in the Mediterranean like cockroaches in a bath tub

Coke so white kept its receipts

Coke so white wants mostly peace

Coke so white says you be strong

Coke so white says you move on

Coke so white knows how you feel

Coke so white is telling you to deal

Coke so white is front row

vip

at your funeral screaming

WHAT ABOUT ME HUH?

WHAT ABOUT MY IMPENDING DEATH, MY RIGHTS, MY HIGH, MY FAMILY

MY PORN COLLECTION, MY OFF SHORE BANK ACCOUNTS, MY PRIVILEGES

MY BUSINESS THAT I STARTED WITH GODDAMN SUBSIDIES MY SAFE SPACE

MY GUNS, MY BOMBS, MY CLUBS, MY CAT CALLING,

MY CULTURES, MY JOKES, MY PRISON SYSTEM MY PENIS

YES, MY PENIS, WHAT ABOUT MY COCK

ALL LIVES MATTER, SAY COKE SO WHITE

TERMS AND CONDITIONS APPLY, AH

SPEAK TO YOUR LOCAL REPRESENTATIVE TO FIND OUT WHAT LIVES MATTER IN YOUR AREA

COKE SO WHITE THINK YOU ARE THE REAL RACIST!

Coke so white

Coke so white

Here's to five more years

We may not all be here when the coast is clear

Its not fair how

They won fair and square like a politicians mistress

From here to manchester my side of facebook is in distress

we never saw it coming mate, you could say I’m impressed

But never mind

Heres to five more years

Get on with the boiling of the sea

Begin the gnashing of teeth

Pour forth a hundred hashtagged tweets and

Which apocalypse gonna come first?

Man eating man

Or beds generating taxes?

Somewhere out there is an angry man

Washing three lions right out of his shirt

Cuz he knows those cats are african

How can I be mad mate

One point three million racists

Thats a mandate

And

I cant wait for the next five years mate

I might lay in bed with Netflix and beer, mate

Cuz i know I've got it good, mate

When i go to bank

Im not looking for no free food, mate

bastards telling us tighten our  belts

Thats my idea of true evil

I may be stupid, I may be dumb but

When i see a bad movie

The last thing i ask for is a sequel

So heres to five more years

May your humanity never be humbled

May your compassion never be lost in the woods

May your voices never be dampened

With such breathtaking efficiency

All  the bacon sarnies round the country go sour

May eight am not find you dibbling on the sofa

shock eyed,

slack jawed,

sunken shouldered

holding only

half the story

in your hands

Wondering

how it is

you don't know 

anyone who voted tory

Railing on the net like dolphins in a trap

egg faced profiles spelling out the facts

Allow Your little bubble

 Bruv, out there its fuck you, got mine

Fuck you get by

Fuck u I'm fine

Keep calm step aside

Cant cope? Then die

So heres to five more years

If you weren't already scared then you have nothing to fear

And if you aren't smiling theres absolutely no need to force it

Your paralysed lips like parallel lines

On cameron's forehead

And if you thought politics is boring

Wait till your hear about boris

He's got jokes like...   Poor people

Its only funny when you're rich

The parasite sharpens its proboscis

The nhs starts to itch

They've got us all sewn up so well

We will never know how elaborately we were stitched

So heres to five more years

Cuz I know the demon but not his congregation

The dreams that take them the nightmares they wake from

If i see sunshine do they see a hailstorm

When the Dobermen are done with us who they think they’ll salivate for

What will they do When her majesty finally tucks herself into a dollar

What will they do

And the blond haired jackal stops laughing and undoes his own collar

Oh, well, here's to five more years

we wont all be here when the coast is clear

Day  are bleak but the ads will be sleek

First rain, some snow, and then some sheet

Were all in it together but some are more in it that others

One way or another

We will all get fucked,

Capitalism: your mum washes does the washing. You pay her a dollar. She complains. You call the police and claim she was rioting.

Communism: your mum does the washing. You do the washing. Every night you salute a photo of your dad.

Socialism: your mum does the washing. You do the cooking. Everyone is theoretically happy.

Fascism: your mum does the washing under the threat of violence

Nazism: your mum does the washing. You gas the laundry room

Feudalism: your mum does the washing and pays you tax

Liberalism: you watch your mum do the washing and feel really really bad. "Something must be done" you say. Something may or may not get done

Libertarianism: your mum does the washing. You believe you did it

Religion: your mum does the washing. You thank god

Atheism: your mum does the washing. You make a YouTube video demanding peer reviewed evidence she did, in fact, do the washing

Misogyny: you hate your mum whether or not she does the washing

Patriarchy: your mum doesn't exist. The washing is mysteriously done

Men's Rights Activism: your mum does the washing.You call her a whore.

Matriarchy: your mum does the washing. You do the cooking.  You are really happy pulling your weight in the house

Gamergate-ism: your mum mentioned in her blog she does the washing. You doxed her

Feminism: your mum insists you grow up and do your own washing

White feminism:

your mum hired a woman of color to do the washing

Anti feminism: your mum has left you. A year later, You wrote "fucking whore" with the dirty clothes on the floor

Hollywoodism:

you are Colin Farrell. Your mum is Angelina Jolie. There is sexual tension. An unnamed black maid does the washing

 Islamophobia:

your mum does the washing. She left out a sock. You brand her a hygiene terrorist.

Racism

: your mum does the washing. She blames black people

Cultural appropriation-ism

: While your mum does the washing, You steal her dirty clothes and mimic her in public. Public gives you money.

Colonialism: you barge into mum's room. Claim you "discovered" her room. Dump your dirty clothes on the floor

Geekism: your mum does the washing and dry cleans your cosplay outfit. You build a robot that plays chess and cricket. You sell robot to Google.

Neo capitalism: your mum does the washing. You pay her a dollar. You get her to do your mates washing. Your mate pays you £50

Corporation-ism: your mum considers not doing the washing. u pay your mate £35 to lobby on ur behalf. No dice. You sue your mum for "emotional sabotage"

Americanism: your mum does the washing. It's in the constitution. END OF DISCUSSION

Ableism: your mum forgot to do the washing. You call her a "retard."

Mis-genderism: "cheers dude" you say, as your mum does the washing. She tells you she's not a dude. "Whatever dude", you say

Mansplaining: your mum does the washing. You tell her how best to do the washing. You have never done the washing.

Sexism: of course your mum does the washing. Duh.

Cat-calling:

your mum does the washing. You wolf whistle at your mum. You are oblivious as to how fucking creepy this is.

Rape culture:

it's mum's fault she does the washing/she asked to do the washing/she doesn't do the washing as much as she says she does

Misandry: that one time your mum refused to do the washing is proof she hates you

Egalitarianism:

that one time you did the washing is proof its all equal and no one needs feminism any more

Hip Hop: everyday im hustling/ every day I'm hustling/ when I bring the basket/mama put the washing in.

Callout culture: your mum's washing is problematic so you unfollow/block/subtweet/dose her mentions in acid.

Homophobia:

you think it's unnatural that your mum doesn't do the washing. Against gods will, even

Hotepism:

Black women are queens.  The white man is a devil. The black race must open their eyes. Mum does the washing.