Karma

With his dance competitions and your constant strive to keep your scholarship, the both of you were understandably busy. Spotting free time on both of your schedules was rare and you took every chance at spending time together when it happened.

Today was one of those days, and the plan was that you’d go on an ice cream date (just the two of you) before going to one of Jay’s famous parties. It didn’t help that Riki was particularly clingy today after having lost a spot in the Top 3 of his recent competition. He just wanted to be with you, to bask in your comfort, and to hold you in his arms as a reminder that there was always next time.

And you had accidentally robbed him of that. So, Nishimura Riki was upset with you.

“Riki–” You begin.

“Don’t.” He cut you off before you could even continue. “I don’t really want to talk to you right now.”

He surprised himself with how cold he spoke to you, guilt instantly settling in, but it was too late to take back his words. Besides, you knew never to take it to heart when Riki was upset. You’d just have to try again tomorrow, when he’d have enough time to calm himself down. So, you simply grow quiet as he pulls up the driveway of your shared friend’s house.

The night air is cold when you step out of the car, and you visibly shrug at the sudden coolness in contrast to the heat you had felt in the silence between you and your boyfriend. It’s only now that Riki allows himself to look at you. His gaze follows the gentle shaking of your shoulders and the clattering of your teeth as you wrap your arms around yourself in an attempt to warm yourself.

While he was angry, Riki was not a cruel boyfriend. Shrugging his jacket off, he places it on your shoulders gently, helping you adjust your arms in its sleeves to make sure that in the chill of the night and the air-conditioned party, you would not feel cold.

Before you can thank him, he starts walking for the door.

Poor Sunoo is unaware of the fight when you pull both of you in for a hug, bouncing in conversation and being greeted by an awkward string of responses from the both of you. He only understands the situation when you and Riki walk separate ways upon entering the party.

The music is unbearably loud, and Riki is the first one to go meet up with his friends. You walk the opposite direction in hopes of seeing a friend.

Truthfully, you did not want to be in this party right now. It was only ever fun when you were Riki, popping out an ankle biter or two as you’d make fun of the drunk teenagers around you. Time always stretched in meaningful ways when you were with him, blurred by silly dancing and excusing yourselves to pull pranks on your friends.

“(Name)!” You spot Felix, a good friend of Jake, approaching you with a smile on his face. He gives you a side hug, immediately noticing the lack of your boyfriend by your side. “Where’s Riki?” You return the warm smile at the boy, politely acknowledging him. You don’t really want to tell him you weren’t with Riki because you had a fight, so you settle with a little white lie.

“He’s downstairs. I’m looking for a friend.” Felix nods his head, patting your head before he’s called by Hyunjin. “Well, I’ll leave you to it. I’ll see you around!” With one last tap on the shoulder, Felix heads towards the direction of his friend, leaving you to walk around by yourself again.

You grow more anxious upon not spotting a single close friend in the party after roaming around the house for a good fifteen minutes. Then again, Jay’s space was huge and it’d be impossible to look through every space and crevice in search of a friend.

You had hoped maybe Yuna or Yunjin were around so you could pass time through conversation and gossip. However, fate doesn’t hand you luck tonight.

On the other side of the party, Riki is seated with his friends – Sunghoon and Jake joking around with a beer in hand as they chat about their recent flings, Sunoo off to dance with friends, Heeseung and Jay busying themselves to make sure the partygoers were accommodated with enough food and drinks, and Jungwon who is concerned why his friend is awfully quiet tonight with the absence of your usual figure next to him.

“Where’s (name)?” Jungwon starts.

“We had a fight.” Riki’s response is pointed as he glances at Jungwon before going back to people-watching. It’s like he doesn’t want to say it. Riki hates fighting with you – and while it was normal to occasionally fight in healthy relationships, it didn’t mean Riki hated it any less. However, he was stubborn and hardheaded, and that insistent voice has not left his head.

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” Jungwon blinks, unsure of how to respond. He wasn’t sure if Riki wanted him to keep pushing at the topic or not. Going for the safe option, Jungwon keeps his mouth shut as he excuses himself to go help Jay and Heeseung.

While heading for the kitchen, Jungwon spots you seated on another couch in the living room, scrolling through your phone. Next to you is Chaewon who looks like she’s in a peaceful slumber despite the loud music and the crowd of people.

When you catch sight of the boy, he waves at you politely before he disappears into the crowd.

You hum to yourself. You suppose you should just leave in a bit after Chaewon wakes up. Besides, it wasn’t really a bother having her lean her head on your shoulder, and you didn’t really want to wake her to leave the party you had just joined.

You’re less fortunate with the man seated on your left.

He had been trying to talk to you the whole time you were looking for a friend (after Felix had left your side), and he had sat down next to you the moment you grew tired.

When Jungwon disappears, the boy next to you perks up and starts quizzing you on your name, which school you went to, what year you were in. He honestly seemed friendly, noticing your lack of mood for the party and attempting to lighten it up a little. But, you did not feel like answering him.

Perhaps he was trying to make a friend, but you were too preoccupied on how you were going to apologize to Riki tomorrow. And, he was being a little too creepy about not leaving you alone.

He tries asking you open-ended questions, tries to be quirky by asking conversation-inducing questions, but you really had nothing to say that might be of interest to him.

“You look like you aren’t enjoying yourself.” You’re ripped out of your thoughts at his constant efforts at a conversation, and when you start to feel properly awkward, you feel his arm slide behind you, dangling on the couch and inching impossibly closer to you. Maybe he wasn’t trying to make a friend after all.

You silently pray in your head for Chaewon to wake up so you could peel yourself away from the situation.

You stutter over your own words, trying to think of a way to tell him you really weren’t in the mood to have a conversation with a stranger, and you’re sure Riki wasn’t too big of a fan of someone else trying to be touchy with you.

While you appreciated his efforts at trying to make you enjoy yourself, you can’t help but think that he had ulterior motives, and you were sure your boyfriend wouldn’t appreciate that.

Was the oversized jacket you’re wearing not clue enough that you had a boyfriend?

“Yo, who’s that next to (name)?” Riki’s ears perk up at the mention of your name, back straightening as he tries to listen in on Jake and Sunghoon’s conversation.

“Riki, I think someone’s trying to chat your girlfriend up.” Sunghoon looks behind him to look at Riki who has grown intimidatingly silent at his comment. Motioning over to where you’re seated, Riki pushes himself off from the couch, peering over in search of his girlfriend in the crowd.

Jake and Sunghoon were right. In his view, he spots a stupid looking boy trying to impress you – and you were clearly not having it. Riki feels his head start to ache and his fists clench by his side. He grips his phone tighter, knuckles turning white at the sight that greets him.

The icy grip of jealousy that seeps through his veins is overwhelming. You’re smiling politely at the boy, and Riki knows you’re trying to think of a million ways to get away from the situation. He doesn’t understand why he feels jealous. It’s not like you even wanted to talk to that boy.

Then it clicks. Maybe that’s why. Because here you were, seated with some boy who has his hand on your shoulder when it should’ve been him. And all of this is happening just because he was upset at you for your lack of communication from a while ago.

Nishimura Riki couldn’t take it anymore.

Locked and loaded behind gritted teeth and popping veins on his neck, he makes his way through the crowd, stopping right in front of you and the cause of his annoyance. “The fuck do you think you’re doing?” Riki glares down at the boy beside you. “That’s my girlfriend, so get your hands off her.”

The sight of Riki is enough to send bullets of sweat down the boy’s forehead. With a newfound fear, the boy straightens up from his seat, pulling his arm off of you before raising it in defeat. “Dude, my bad. She was here alone, how should I have known she had a boyfriend?”

“Go fuck yourself.” Riki’s face flashes in your direction and his features soften at a ridiculously fast pace. He reaches out to take your hand in his before gently tugging you off of the couch, apologizing to Chaewon in the process while he takes you outside.

Riki pulls you in for a hug. He doesn’t care how upset he was with you, he needed to make sure you were okay. With his hand running through your back and his lips pressed on top of your head, he feels his mood instantly lighten.

He pulls away, brushing your hair off your face before asking quietly, “Are you okay?”

You thought about it for a second before nodding your head, smiling gratefully at him. You know he was upset with you (he might still be), and Riki tended to be stubborn and hardheaded when it came to arguments. It was just nice to know that even then, he always had your back. Even if he was angry or upset or annoyed, you knew you could always count on him to be there for you.

“You wanna go home?”

You nod your head, scooting closer to him. He knows that you just need him so he takes your hand in his, leading you over to where he had parked the car. “Maybe some ice cream to make it up to you?”

“Okay. I’m still upset, by the way.”

“I know. I love you.”

If you were being honest, you’ve only interacted with Niki before at the company studio like... once. A total of five minutes in each other’s presence that consisted of bowing politely and greetings before he was called away by his sister. You forgot but probably said something along the lines of “good morning,” or literally anything else that couldn’t have made it any more awkward than it already was. 

That was your first impression of Niki. Before that, you only heard of his impressive skill when you first joined over ten years ago, especially since he was the studio founder’s son. You heard all about how he started dancing when he was three and had kept going since. 

Besides that, most of your time was spent practicing alone and occasionally with friends or instructors. And when competition season came around, it was even worse. 

That was when more than half your day was spent in one of the practice rooms, going over your multiple routines and rehearsing until you physically couldn’t anymore.

Today was no different. The first competition was in about a week and everyone had been on edge. That meant no time to waste on trivial matters like- in your case- watching others dance. 

Your friends understood how seriously you took dancing, because they were the same. Maybe they didn’t have as much passion as you, meaning they weren’t willing to sacrifice as much of their normal lives, but again that was what separated you from the rest.

There were plenty of events and sections that your studio entered in, and you yourself were no different, having entered in numerous ones already. All trainees were busy preparing for competition day, countless routines performed simultaneously. 

A figure coldly pushes past the small crowd of dancers, knocking only once on the door before entering the room you occupied. They whisper in alarm and shock at how urgently he entered. 

You gulp down water, head turning towards the sound from the entrance. You tilt your head in acknowledgment, “Instructor Woo. What’s up?”

The serious expression on his face sends alarms ringing through your body, but you try to keep calm. Maybe you were reading too much into it. Your teacher was always known as the cold and strict type when you first met, but after years your relationship had melted into a respectable junior-senior one. 

“Follow me.” 

Confused, heart rate beginning to pick up, you grab your stuff and follow him, ignoring the fellow bystanders waiting outside the door. 

Once you’ve reached the safety and privacy of his office, you falter. Mainly because you weren’t alone- it wasn’t just the two of you. 

Niki stands there with unreadable look as he  spots you the same time you spot him. Recognition flickers in his eyes for split second before he glances away. 

You cross your arms, barely addressing him. “What’s going on?” 

You give your instructor a purposeful stare as if to say, why in the world were you alone in a room with him and Nishimura Riki?

He sighs, clasping his hands together. “Two dancers who entered in a couple performance just got into a minor accident. They’re on bed rest for at least a week.” 

It was just like him to go straight to the point. You know exactly what he means, but you don’t understand why he’s letting you know.

You frown. “I’m sorry to hear that… but why are you telling us that?”

Niki side-eyes you, mumbling something along the lines of, “isn’t it obvious?” 

You glance at him for a second before returning your attention to Instructor Woo. 

“I apologize for bringing this upon you so late, but we need you two to sub in.” 

No. No one does that. No one is given an event with less than a week to prepare. Especially not, your eyes slide to the boy next to you again, especially not if you had to work with someone who was essentially a stranger to you. 

It’s like your instructor already knew what you were about to say before you opened your mouth, holding up a hand to stop you in your tracks. 

“I know we’re asking for a lot, but you two are the best dancers at the company. That’s a fact. We decided on you two for a reason- because we all know you can pull it off together.” 

You’re speechless while Niki just stands there. With no reaction, Instructor Woo sighs and pulls out his phone. He taps the screen before turning it to show you and Niki. 

Two people, you’re guessing the two that got in the accident, dancing to… 

Havana? 

Immediately, you shake your head. “No. I’m not doing that.” 

He sits up straighter, “You don’t get to make a decision-“

You turn to Niki, “No offense, but I barely know you, and there’s no way we’re dancing to that song together.”

He shrugs, “None taken.” 

“Y/n y/l/n.” At that, you almost shrink. 

“What happened to your professionalism? You have less than a week to learn a new dance, what other choice do you have?”  

Perhaps you should’ve taken the time before to watch Niki dance- even seeing him perform once would’ve helped and provided some familiarity. 

Regardless, the stubbornness in you just tells you that it doesn’t fit your own style, and you don’t want to- you just can’t do a dance if it won’t be executed up to your standards. You won’t ever be satisfied. 

You clench your hands into fists, “I’m sorry but I know I can’t possibly perform that dance as well as I want to in less than a week. Perhaps if I had more time to work on it, then I would agree but I don’t have the luxury, so I can’t. There’s only one other option we have and I’d rather take that risk for a better performance. I’m fully willing to take responsibility if it doesn’t work out.”

For the first time, Niki agrees with you, nodding along to your words. 

Your dance instructor grumbles and you look at Niki before speaking up again. 

“We’ll choose a song and choreograph it ourselves,” your voice sounded much more confident than how much confidence you actually had in yourself. 

He drops his phone on his desk, eyes widen and mouth set in a firm line. “Do you know what you’re saying? A whole new dance in six- technically, five days?” 

And you nod. 

By the end, Instructor Woo has given up and left it to you two to figure things out. You feel grateful for the immense trust he has in you because honestly, you don’t have even close to enough trust in yourself. 

The walk out of his office is silent. In all the times you’ve seen Niki around the company, this is the first time you’ve been so close to him. It’s strange seeing him up close, he was much more defined (and taller) than you thought. 

“Hey, uh,” you say hesitantly, “I just wanted to apologize for saying all that without discussing with you first.” 

Niki recognizes your words with a tiny nod and you bite your lip, unsure if you’re about to regret your next words. 

“If you really want, we can just do the previous dance.” 

But to your surprise, Niki frowns. “No, I’d rather make a new choreography that fits us better too.”

And he sees you smile for the first time. 

You were grateful for the fact that you spent the previous month practicing and getting the hang of your other routines. Only because originally, your plan was to spend the last week leading up to competition day just finalizing moves and reviewing until after the bombshell that Instructor Woo dropped on you and Niki and your plans were mostly scrapped. 

You supposed Niki’s plan was the same, due to one night that you walked into your planned meetings and caught the end of one of his performances. Judging by the slight shine off his skin and heavy breathing, he must’ve been dancing for a while. 

“Hey,” you reply meekly. He gives a short greeting back before focusing back on a certain part of the choreo. As you get your things settled and start warming up, you realize you can’t stand the silence. 

“Are you, uh, ready for competition? Besides our performance together?”

“Yeah. Maybe not as much as I would like but as Woo said, we don’t have a choice.” 

You nod silently. “Then… should we decide on a song?”

“Okay.” 

So far so great, you think internally with a grimace. You knew close to nothing about Niki and now you have to work with him for almost a week straight. Not to forget the fact that you’re almost always the first to speak to him. The long silence was starting to get to your head. 

“Since this is a couple performance…” you inhale, “what kind of song would you rather do?” 

Obviously his preference wasn’t the sensual and slower type, and if it was, it obviously wasn’t a dance he would want to do with a stranger like you (and neither would you). Even so, you could just tell that wasn’t a song he would pick. 

He drums his fingers on the wooden floor, seemingly in deep thought. You forgot he also knew close to nothing about you as well and was probably taking your impression into account. 

“How about Hip hop? RnB?” He looks at you questioningly, and you’re a bit shocked. Was that a lucky guess or did you just have similar styles? 

Niki must’ve noted the look on your face because he scratches the back of his head sheepishly. “Do you not like that?”

You’re quick to shake your head, “No no, that’s not it at all! Actually, I’d prefer to do those.” 

“Oh. Cool.” He smiles thoughtfully to himself, although you miss it. 

You hum, “I like you?”

Niki suddenly shoots up, mouth gaping as he blinks at you. “E-Excuse me? I’m sorry, but I barely know-”

You roll your eyes, becoming a little flustered as you realize the double meaning behind your words. “I-I meant the song, you idiot. Who would suddenly confess like that..” your voice ends in a grumble. 

“It’s i like you by post malone,” your words come out unintentionally louder to get your point across. 

“Ah.” He pauses for a moment before agreeing, ears reddening. “Sure. I like his music.”

Then came the real challenge. Creating a whole new dance from scratch.  

Actually, you wanted to use that song for your own dance but seeing a bit of Niki’s dancing, you realized it would be a good fit for him too. You even brainstormed some moves but thinking about Niki’s reaction made you unsure. 

It’s fine, you reassure yourself. You’ll come up with something,  no matter what. The instructors chose you two for a reason. You needed to trust yourself and your partner. 

You suddenly clap your hands. “Let’s get to it.” 

You prided yourself on making others, especially strangers, comfortable with you. Even if it didn’t seem like it with your usual blank expression and valued independence. Yes you prioritized dance, but time with others was something you enjoyed. Niki wasn’t an exception, except that he was pretty shy by himself. 

It surprised you a little, as from what you’ve heard from others he wasn’t like that at all. Then again, people said he was scary and like an annoying little kid at the same time so you couldn’t form an opinion right off the bat. 

As you mapped out ideas, pieces began to fall into place. That was one of the things you enjoyed most about choreographing your own performance. The satisfaction as parts began to connect and your hard work began to show its efforts, it was the best feeling for you. 

It helped that you two had a lot of experience under your belt- but that didn’t mean it was easy. 

You both fall to the floor, drained. After more than 12 hours spent on experimenting new moves, you check the time. 4am. 

You were used to it but adding on the burden of knowing you had about four and a half days left, your body felt heavier. 

“How far did we get?” You breathe out, eyes closing. 

“Almost one minute.” The sound of his husky voice makes you shiver and your eyes open. He must be tired. 

You sit up, trying to lighten the mood. “Hey, that’s more progress than I thought. We’re almost a third done,” you remind. 

“You’re right.” He groans while sitting up and your forehead creases in concern. 

“Niki, here.” 

You toss him water and he thanks you with surprise evident on his face. “Thanks.” 

“How much sleep did you get?” Although your actions seemed like they were out of concern, you simply didn’t want your partner passing out on the dance floor. Not when you had several more runs to get through.

Niki runs a hand through his hair, “Three hours, maybe? I was practicing and didn’t realize the time…”

His words strike you in gut. Real hard, because you were the exact same. You don’t know the amount of times you had answered in almost the exact same way when others asked you. 

You huff, “Go home and get some sleep, Niki. I want us both to be in our best condition since we have such limited time.”

He lets out a half scoff and half laugh. “You sound just like Instructor Woo. Why should I listen to you?”

“Okay,” you hold out your hand, “I want the water back. I bought it with my own money since the water here tastes like the sewers.”  

He pauses mid gulp and you can’t hold back your laugh. Swallowing, he stares at you indignantly.

“Hey, take that back. Our company water is perfectly fine.” 

You forgot he was the son of the CEO, but that still didn’t change your opinion. You make a sound of disapproval, “I don’t ever see you drinking it.”

Okay, so you got him there. He makes an expression like he’s been caught before breaking out in laughter and you can’t help but join in. 

The song you chose, you think it really united your styles together. That could’ve played a factor in why you and Niki got along quickly. Or the shared pressure that you both felt in order to get this dance executed as close as you could to perfect.

It had only been a few days spent with Niki and yet you could (and would) already consider yourself friends. After 10 years of passing each other in the halls silently, it was suddenly like you knew him all that time.  

Practicing was fun with Niki. He got you. Your humor matched, and the fact that you both learned the choreo quickly lightened a bit of the heavy load off your shoulders and made you less pressured. Countless hours of working hard paid off, making your miniature breaks with him even more worth it. 

To the point you would go out for a treat to reward yourself for the hard work. 

When he suggested ice cream, you gladly agreed. You paid for the both of you as Niki protested, leading to hours of bickering that didn’t stop during your practices. It only ended with a promise of next time, he would get it. 

“I said it was fine, Niki.” 

Your hands are on your hips, lips blowing out exasperated air as you shake your head again. 

You knew he was stubborn but not this stubborn. He rolls over to lay on his stomach, eyes peeking up you. Even when half of his face was covered by his arms, you could see the displeasure written all over his face. 

“You didn’t even let me pay you back!” He childishly objects, kicking his feet off the ground. You bite back a smile, fingers hovering over the play button. 

“Are you done? So we can continue practicing?”

You hear a muffled no as he gets up, warming up his body. 

“I’m not gonna give up,” he reminds as you approach him, getting into position. “Sure,” you agree with a grin, waiting for the countdown. 

“Next time. I’m getting it.” 

Next time? Taken by surprise, you start a second too late, glaring as Niki watches you with an amused yet fond look. You didn’t mean to get flustered but the longer Niki gives you that sly smirk, the harder it is for you to continue going on. When the section ends, you shove him and he snickers. You’re both breathing heavily but with matching smiles on your faces.

“Why were you looking at me like that?”  You try your best to seem annoyed. 

“What do you mean?” The fake clueless shrug makes you narrow your eyes at him. 

“Oh, so now you’re playing innocent?”

“Who was the one that couldn’t focus again?”

It’s because of you, you think silently. 

You weren’t sure if you were the only one that looked forward to working with Niki all day, seeing his face light up and laughing for hours on end until your stomach hurt. 

You really enjoyed seeing the side of him that many others couldn’t see, because it meant you had reached a deeper level. 

It meant Niki trusted you- he trusted you to be a little more vulnerable and show more of himself to you. 

You weren’t sure if you were the only one that felt it. 

With about two days left, you two had been over the routine countless times. As much as you enjoyed the song, you were starting to get sick of hearing it again and again. 

Everyone else at the studio recognized it too. They saw your dedication and time spent together, the younger trainees whispering a lot in awe. 

Even at home in your bed quite late at night, while you were up texting your friends, they noticed it all too. 

Don’t you think you’re spending a lot of time with Niki?

I’ve never seen you around hang someone so much.. 

him neither-

You frown while reading the messages, fingers already flying across the screen to type out a response. Your reasoning? 

You both had an insane drive to win, and if that meant practicing 15 hours a day together, so be it. 

Your friends didn’t believe it. 

hmmmm nah 

We keep hearing that niki never spends this much time with someone else

like, not even with his friends 

You frown. You don’t even know what they’re getting at. With that, you leave their questions on read. 

But those messages stay in the back of your head leading up to the performance. You don’t think it’s a good idea to dwell, all your time and energy needed to be on this final performance and your other ones, and you didn’t want to break the groove. So you hold back. At least, you try to the night before competition day. 

The song ends and you don’t realize how much you’re ready to never listen to this song again. As much as you liked i like you (ironic, you know), the stress and trauma of the whole situation kinda ruined it. 

At least you had Niki to share it with. 

Satisfied with your performance, you look over at him and laugh, holding out a hand for a high five. He easily high-fives you back, grinning in content. 

“Good luck, partner.” 

Your smile unconsciously grows. “Good luck to you tomorrow, too.”

“Don’t sleep too late and stress about it, okay? We got this.” He must see through you and into the anxiety settled in your system since he was the one reassuring you, not the other way around. 

“Yes sir,” you joke. “You too, though,” you add warmly and he nods, almost shy? to the point where you can notice the sudden shift in the air. You cock your head-

“I just wanted to say thank you… and I’m glad that you’re my partner.” 

Your eyes widen at his confession, wandering around before deciding to settle on his shoes. You felt your heart pounding as the texts your friends sent echo in your head. 

“Me too,” you reply softly. 

The day of competition, you feel the familiar jitters in the pit of your stomach. Your duo with Niki came at the end after your solo performances, so you had some time to prepare yourself. 

With all the chaos of calling performers and getting hair and makeup done, you hadn’t seen him at all. But you knew he was going to ace it. You only hoped you would too. 

Your name is called and you exhale. It’s time. 

By the end of your solo performances, you’re exhausted. But you can’t stop now. Ten minutes until you’re supposed to be called for your duo performance and you don’t know where Niki is. You were already dressed and waiting for your partner. 

You asked several people if they saw him but to no avail. Just for a second, you decide to sit down somewhere with free space to rest your tired legs. Competition day was high energy and constantly draining, but that’s what you loved about it. 

“Y/n!” 

Your head whips up, glancing around to find the owner of the voice. Niki pushes past a few people, getting over to you while panting. 

“Niki!” You call out, surprised. 

He stops in his tracks. You say his name again, slightly concerned this time. 

“You look really good.” 

You cough, trying to hide your embarrassment at his sudden compliment. 

“You do too.” 

He fiddles with his hands, biting back a smile. “Thanks. Sorry I was late, my event ended 15 minutes later because of someone who didn’t show.”

You roll your eyes, “That’s sucks- I get it, don’t worry.” Eyes shining, Niki takes a step closer and your mouth falls shut. 

It felt like he was about to say something, probably something important, but you hear your names getting called. You give him a look as if to say, go ahead and say it quickly, but he shakes his head. 

Instead of words, Niki offers a hand and you gladly squeeze it, heart feeling like it was going to burst as you made your way to the stage. 

Showtime.

Needless to say, you aced it. The cheering crowd and endless compliments from your fellow friends and dancers made it even more obvious. You didn’t get much alone time with Niki after the performance, but it was okay because you knew you would see him at the award ceremony.

Even Instructor Woo approached you both, clapping with an impressed look. “No wonder you two are the best, you did not disappoint me. I’m proud of you guys, keep it up.”

You share amused looks with Niki, having already joked and laughed to the point of tears from Woo’s cold persona.  

The hardest part was the time for awards.

As they called out different categories and sections, you zoned out in your seat. How could you not? After a long week of practice, practice, and more practice, your mind flew through the past couple of days. 

Meeting Niki again, getting to know him, adjusting your dancing together, having fun together, stressing together- all in the span of a week. Yet as he sat a few chairs from from you, you realized you didn’t want it to end. 

You wanted to keep doing all those things with him. It felt like you had known each other for years, and besides the fact that most of those years were spent as strangers, you realize your time together was precious- it had just started. Regardless of if you won or not, you didn’t want Niki and you to be strangers again. 

You didn’t want to lose him.

Just as that realization hits you, you hear the announcer call out your and Niki’s section. Your breath hitches as your hands grow clammy. Unbeknownst to you, Niki’s eyes flick over to you. 

“And the first place is…” 

You can hear your heart pounding, blood rushing. In that second, your eyes meet his. Everything without any words, you understand with that single glance. 

You don’t, or do, expect your name to be called, followed by Niki’s. 

Without even thinking about it, you rise up from your seat, fellow trainees and dancers cheering so loud the sound echoed in your head for days after, and even through all of that you can only focus on Niki. 

People get out of the way as your body moves on its own, directing you towards him as he gets closer. Suddenly, you’re engulfed by Niki, his scent filling your nose as he picks you up and spins you around. That’s when you break out of it. 

He’s laughing, you’re smiling. 

“Congrats, partner.”

You laugh brightly, reaching to tussle his hair. “Congrats too. I’m proud of you.” 

His gaze sucks you in- it’s like you can’t even force yourself to look away. You could care less about the surrounding people. 

“Maybe after,” he starts carefully, and you swallow, “after the competition is over- do you wanna like, get out of here?”

A huge wave of relief washes over you. Maybe it’s the relieved pressure of finishing this performance or the way that Niki’s staring at you while biting his lips in what you think is nervousness. 

“I would very much like that,” you pause and Niki looks visibly happier at that compared to just seconds earlier when you two were just announced as the winners. You shyly cough, 

“-and I very much like you.” 

Niki freezes at you abrupt confession. You avoid his stare, swiftly regretting your heat of the moment decision.

Without realizing it in your embarrassment, Niki swoops down to give you a quick peck. Very much in front of your whole company. Gasps and squeals fill the air, unless you just imagined it. 

Now you’re the one taken aback. 

“Me too,” he smirks while murmuring, 

“I like you.” 

Those three words you thought you were sick of didn’t sound too bad coming out of Niki’s mouth.  

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@kflixnet

Despite the common perception of you, you were not a complete and total monster.

Sure, the rumors were true in some aspects but in most cases things were warped and twisted as they danced from mouth to mouth and you were left with a bit of a startling reputation.

You leave too many freshman boys crying and suddenly you are the devil disguised in a perfectly polished and manicured body, girlish scents and cheeky smiles being used to lure your victims in to their death.

Frankly you thought this was all way too dramatized. You liked to play around, who didn’t, and it wasn’t your fault you had a very particular taste when it came to your boys. Death was dramatic, if anything their social meters skyrocketed after being seen with you.

“It’s immoral.” Your best friend was currently giving you his opposing opinion. Sunoo was laid across your bed and watching you carefully reapply your lipgloss in the large mirror on your desk. “Maybe even a little bit sick.”

You laughed at him, turning to face him fully and strike a pose. He gave a thumbs up at your outfit and smiled at you despite his scoldings.

Sunoo had been your friend for as long as you’d known what the word meant. He was a year younger than you but decades more mature and when you both started to change drastically, you still remained friends.

Most of the version of yourself you showed outside of this room was a carefully poised character, a show of beauty and confidence to ensure you weren’t belittled and were taken seriously in all aspects of life. Yet here, alone with Sunoo as you got ready for another Saturday night party, you were your rawest self.

“I can’t help what I like.” You continued on your conversation now that he’s approved your attire.

And you meant this from the bottom of your soul. You’ve tried to fall for other guys, tried to stare length at the football players and hope it stirred something awake in you and you could fulfill another cliche when it came to high school norms.

Yet it was earlier on in your years of puberty when you discovered your type, and oh god was it a discovery.

Park Sunghoon had stumbled off the summer camp bus behind a few girls you’d recognized from previous years. He was clutching his backpack strap with one hand and pushing his glasses up his nose with the other. To make matters worse (or better, depending on who you’re asking) he had tripped coming down the steps and nearly face planted in the dirt below him.

For the first time in your life, you were completely and utterly inlove. Or at least as inlove a sniffly 14 year old can be.

You’d had your first kiss that summer, hidden behind a bush on the final nights huge campfire and you blushed thinking about how Sunghoon’s hands were shaking and his eyes were wide when you pulled away.

That was the exact thing you’d gotten obsessed with. You never saw Sunghoon again, not at summer camp or anywhere around the city, but you constantly searched for him in other boys. You liked the awkwardness and shy glances and you liked the way you could almost see the corrupted thoughts in their mind after a few weeks with you.

Other people your age gushed over the charmers, the boys at parties who leaned against the wall and asked you to slip away into an uncleaned room. Sunoo sharing the same ideology considering the way he constantly fawned over somebody on the soccer team.

Which is why you didn’t get angry at him for his scolding, for his lack of understanding. It was an art form and not everybody could appreciate it.

“Y/N, kid. I told you I’m not waiting all night for you.” Deafening pounds on your door strictly reminded you of that fact.

You swung open your door with a scowl, ignoring the way Sunoo mumbled about his hatred for the nickname kid, and came face to face with your brother.

Jake was exactly two minutes older than you and spent your entire lives magnifying this fact at any given moment. His eyes scanned your outfits before looking behind you to Sunoo’s and he sighed softly.

“So we are going complete ‘embarrass my big brother’ tonight I guess.” His words caused you to roll your eyes and push on his shoulder so you could move past him out into the hallway.

Jake and you got along great despite your differences, something about the twin connection helping you be a lot closer than you might have been else wise considering everything else about you was completely flipped.

He was the star of your family in all things that truly seemed to matter to your parents, handsome and sociable and not to mention the captain of the football team.

“You’re not my big brother.” You mumbled as you passed him and he smiled at you and messed up your hair. You paused and waited for Sunoo at the top of the stairs, raising an eyebrow at the fact Jake was watching you with a strange expression.

“My friends are downstairs.” He started to explain and you furrowed your brows in confusion. When you’d first become cool enough to hang out with Jake’s friends, he had warned them and you about the consequences of dating each other, but he gradually realized they were absolutely not your type.

You imagined he still had to deal with comments, you were well known at school and undeniably conventionally attractive, plus Park Jay had definitely made numerous passes at you throughout the years.

“I’d rather jump down these stairs than fuck one of your friends Jake.” His mouth curled in disgust at your blunt words and you saw Sunoo laugh as he approached the two of you, closing your bedroom door.

“There’s a new kid on the team and I know how you are.” He was whispering but his tone was stern and you shook your head at him in annoyance.

“I’m not interested in jocks brother, I feel like we’ve been over this. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“The Sim’s! Looking fantastic as usual.” Jay’s voice floating up the stairs caused the three of you to turn in it’s direction and you immediately froze as you took in the other boys standing in your living room. You heard Jake sigh at your reaction and start to make his way down the stairs.

Standing amidst the usual crowd, Jay (your brothers absolute bestfriend of all time), Jungwon and Riki (two younger boys on the football team), was a boy you’d never seen before.

“Oh wow. This isn’t good.” Sunoo was whispering over your shoulder with a half smile as he followed your line of vision, patting you on the back and starting his way down the stairs after your brother.

The boy was a complete stand out amidst the others and their casual stances. They were dressed dark and sleek, eyes lazy and relaxed like there was nothing that could surprise them about how tonight would play out and by experience, you knew this to be true.

He was standing stiff as a board and ringing his hands uncomfortably, looking around your living room anxiously as he tried to take in the unfamiliar setting. You briefly mentally scolded the boys for letting him wear a sweater to a highschool party and then immediately thanked them for the same fact.

You were down the stairs and stood infront of him before he even processed you approaching and his eyes widened with surprise as he took a startled step back. Your hand was dangling in the middle of the both of you and he awkwardly took it in his.

“I’m Y/N Sim.” You practically purred at him and you vaguely heard Jay bark a laugh from a few feet behind you. The boys eyes darted over to your brother and his friends and then back at you with a curious expression.

“Heeseung.” His voice was quiet and unsure and you raised an eyebrow, keeping his hand in yours for longer than necessary. “Lee Heeseung.”

You repeated his name back to him with a smile, letting it roll off your tongue as you pushed some of your hair behind your ear. Normally by now you’d start to see the signs of infatuation, eyes darting down to your chest and breath catching when you leaned into their personal space.

Heeseung wasn’t doing either, in fact he just seemed more and more awkward and impatient as the seconds droned on. Your mouth twitched down in a shocked frown and you released your grip on his hand, watching as Jake wrapped an arm around his shoulder and ushered him away from you.

Your brother shot you a teasing smile over his shoulder, like he was mocking you for failing to catch his friends attention.

“Don’t look so gloomy sweetheart.” Jay’s voice was in your ear as you started walking to the car. “You’re going to eat him alive.”

——

You couldn’t take your eyes off of the boy.

He definitely had noticed your staring, awkwardly hovering in the corner of the party holding a completely full cup he’d been taking fake sips out of. Your brother had stuck with him for most of it before being dragged away by some other boys on the team for a game of cup pong.

You remembered the fact that Heeseung was supposedly on the football team too and you were suddenly curious what exactly he did. Maybe your brother had only mentioned it in an attempt to deter your advances.

He’d be disappointed to know it didn’t work, considering you were pushing off your seat at the kitchen counter and making your way to his side of the room.

When you were a few feet infront of him he seemed to realize you weren’t changing your course of movement and were in fact coming straight for him. He stiffened up against the wall and avoided looking at you.

“Hi Hee.” You ignored his behavior, leaning against the wall on your side so you could still look at him. You liked the slope of his nose and the way he nervously glanced at you from the corner of his eye.

“Hey Y/N.” He tried to sound casual but his voice cracked halfway through saying your name and your smile brightened, leaning forward slightly so your mouth was hovering closer to his ear.

“Not having fun?” You leaned back after you spoke, noting the way he held his breath when you got closer and shifted in his stance once you leaned back against the wall.

He shrugged softly and you watched the way his thin shoulders fell back down. He definitely wasn’t small, towering over you and about double your width but he was lean and pretty, not to mention the way he curled in on himself made him seem tiny.

“I know something fun we can do.” You were leaning back towards him, this time letting your hand fall forward to hold his arm. The innuendo didn’t miss him and his wide eyes shot down to where you were touching him and then back to look at you.

“Jake said to not talk to you.” He was suddenly stuttering out but he didn’t make any move to leave or remove your hand from him. “He said if you said you liked me it wasn’t true.”

Your jaw ticked in anger as he spoke, wanting to go find Jake and teach him a lesson about interfering. But Heeseung was peering down at you with those big glossy eyes and he didn’t seem upset, just curious.

“That’s not very nice of him to say, is it?” You were practically cooing at the boy, lips forming a pout like it was the most hurtful thing you’d ever heard.

It worked considering the fact Heeseung immediately shook his head, eyes even more wide like he was worried he had somehow offended you.

Your hand that wasn’t on his arm slowly slid up to his neck, stopping to hold his face and turn him more so he was facing you and you weren’t staring at the side of him. He really was handsome, strong manly features sat nicely below his large eyes.

“Do you think I’m mean Hee?” You decided to use Jake’s words against him, batting your eyelashes with a pout and leaning against him. You felt a flash of satisfaction at the way his eyes went down to your jutted out lip and back up.

He didn’t reply after you said that and you briefly wondered if you pushed him too far for one night. You didn’t mind stretching it out, one time spending weeks with a boring tutor before he even seemed to realize you had boobs, but something about the way he peered down at you made you impatient.

He didn’t respond but he also, once again, made no move to push you off of him. If anything he seemed short of breath the longer you stood there pressed against him with your thumb on his chin.

You let out a small hum of satisfaction and pressed your thumb upwards against his bottom lip, holding it there for a second to see if he would object. He didn’t despite the way his eyes seemed to grow wider and wider every passing second.

His mouth parted and at first you thought he was going to speak, pausing and raising an eyebrow to make sure he wasn’t about to tell you to stop touching him. He looked suddenly mortified and closed his mouth with a snap, causing you to realize he was referring to your thumb pressing against his lip.

“Oh.” He genuinely shocked you, your confidence faltering for a second at the fact he was basically inviting your thumb into his mouth a second ago when you’d barely spoken to each other.

He was bright red and you had a feeling that if your grip on his chin wasn’t so tight, he would’ve disappeared into the crowd to avoid you.

“Sorry.” He was mumbling, voice so quiet you almost missed it beneath the loud music and stacked piles of random conversations.

“Do you want to go somewhere we can hear each other better?” You tried to keep the implication out of your words but you had a feeling you were oozing with sin and intent as you leaned up to speak against his ear.

Still, he was nodding almost like he was on autopilot and seemingly ready to go with you regardless of where you would take him. And that was music to your ears, excitement and tension causing you to smile before tugging him and turning around to leave the party.

You were immediately stopped in your path, your smile dropping into a scowl as you looked at your brother. He was stood infront of you with his arms crossed, Jay and Sunoo’s amused faces peeking over his shoulder at the thought of conflict.

“Excuse us.” You spat at him, tugging Heeseung again. He’d complete froze at the sight of your brother and only seemed to snap out of it at your pull, yanking his hand from yours as he collided with your back.

You stumbled forward and glared behind you at him, confused why he had let go of your hand. He was bright red again and avoiding looking at you, taking a step to the side so he was more on your brothers half of the stand off.

Jake had a satisfied smirk on his face at his obedience and you scoffed at them both, disgusted and angry eyes directed towards Heeseung who was cowering away from your glare.

“Alright.” Sunoo was dragging the word out, pushing past your brothers rigid frame and wrapping his arms around you. “Think it’s time we go.”

You let him steer you away from the boys, sending one last glare at your brothers victorious face. You felt a little fire light up in your stomach with the knowledge he was going to regret it.

——

“What about that junior in your art class. He’s easy on the eyes.” Sunoo was trying to keep your attention while in the lunch room, despite the knowledge most of his words were falling on deaf ears. “And not your brothers friend.”

That caught your attention slightly and you stopped your staring for a second, glancing at your friend before looking back across the hall where Heeseung was sat with the rest of the football idiots.

“If you’re going to tell me it’s immoral again, save your breath.” You half muttered and you heard him sigh softly from beside you.

He started to talk again but this time you truly didn’t hear him because Heeseung was looking around the room for a second before locking eyes with you. You sat up in your seat as you watched him freeze and look around to see if there was anyone else you could possibly be staring at.

When he seemed to determine he was the source of your attention, he awkwardly looked back at you and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. You cocked your head but didn’t do anything else, still slightly hurt from the night before.

“Earth to my supposed best friend.” Sunoo’s annoyed voice and shove against your shoulder caused you to break the staring contest with the boy, looking at him apologetically. “It’s fine, we can talk later. But your boy toys leaving.”

His eyes were falling over your shoulder with a quirked eyebrow, following Heeseung’s frame as he quickly shuffled out of the cafeteria and through the hallway doors. You looked frantically at Sunoo for permission and he waved you off with a dismissive hand.

You were on your feet and rushing towards the direction Heeseung had went before you could thank him, causing a few heads to turn towards you as you whipped past them.

Once you pushed through the large doors, you slowed your pace and flattened your skirt, attempting to look casual. You pulled your hair prettily in-front of your shoulders and peered around the hallway corners, trying to catch sight of which way Heeseung had gone.

It didn’t take very long before you were faltering in your tracks, seeing him standing against a closed locker and seemingly catching his breath.

“Hee?” You were standing a few feet away from him, leaning forward and cocking your head in a fake display of coincidence. “What are you doing out here?”

He glanced up at you with an unreadable expression. At first you thought he looked annoyed to see you but you realized quickly he was more so embarrassed at you catching him in a state of panic.

He raised his shoulders in a shrug again and you took a step closer, taking in his outfit now that he wasn’t hidden behind a lunch table. He was wearing another sweater, this one had a large V neck that he covered up with a plaid button up underneath it. You wondered briefly if he was hot at all underneath the layers.

“You shrug a lot don’t you.” As you spoke you casually approached him, leaning on the wall next the locker he was stood against.

He looked like he wanted to laugh at your words, mouth quirking for a bit before looking at you in a similar position to the previous night and frowning, eyes flashing with guilt and embarrassment again.

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head as he whispered and you quirked an eyebrow at his sudden mood change.

“For what part?” Beneath the urge to tease him and make him say it directly, you were genuinely curious what about last night he was apologizing for. For leaving you when your brother arrived or was he sorry for your little interaction a few seconds before that.

He looked at you with a sigh and an awkward shuffle in place, giving you your answer. He was too shy to voice it out loud and that led you to believe it was the latter he was attempting to apologize for.

“You’re sorry for that?” You frowned at him as you leaned closer again. He was watching you intensely, still standing awkwardly but seemingly expecting your actions more this time. “For wanting my fingers in your mouth?”

He was sucking in a breath at your blunt words, eyes going wide as he pressed himself against the locker like he wanted it to swallow him whole. You didn’t say anything else, you’d tipped far more than a toe in the waters and you may be a man eater but the last thing you wanted to do was make him uncomfortable.

“Don’t say that.” He was rushing out in a hissed whisper and looking around the empty hallway like somebody could be listening.

“Is that not what you wanted?” Your voice was dropping to a purr again and you could see him swallow the lump in his throat as your hand came to rest against his chest.

You wanted to touch him, desperately strangely enough, but more importantly you wanted to feel how fast his heart was racing and it didn’t disappoint. It was beating so fast you almost found it in yourself to be concerned.

A large part of you wanted to push him further, to make him tell you what he wanted so you could get to the fun part already, but a new part of you was liking toying around with him.

You found yourself curious what he was thinking as he blinked down at you, if he was thinking dirty things about you or if he wasn’t quite sure what that even consisted of. Was he just sweet and awkward or was he truly inexperienced.

Even weirder, you were wondering what you looked like to him. Both in the bodily sense, if he found you pretty or alluring, and in the sense in which he considered you to be a flirt or a whore.

You didn’t mind being a whore, you thought it was a beautiful powerful thing for a woman to be, but for some strange reason you didn’t want Heeseung to think that’s what this was.

Jay was right, you absolutely wanted to eat him alive but maybe you didn’t have to spit this one out after.

“I don’t know why I did that.” His whisper almost passed by you while you were stuck in your thoughts. You could feel his chest rise as he spoke and you liked the feeling, pressing your front against his similarly to how you did at the party.

“I didn’t say it was a bad thing.” You assured him, studying his features as he looked down at you. Your hand was leaving his chest to cup his cheek then and he took in a deep stuttering breath.

You let your thumb caress the skin on his cheek and he kept his eyes locked on yours despite the way they nervously twitched and sometimes shot over your shoulder like he was expecting an interruption.

“It’s weird.” He whispered and his breath fanned your face due to your proximity.

You frowned slightly at his words, although you had a feeling he didn’t truly mean them and he was just doing damage control incase you’d make fun of him. Still, you thought for a second before blindly reaching down between your bodies and gripping his wrist.

He made a strange startled noise at the direction of your hand, flushing when he realized you were only searching for his hand and not anything else. He didn’t object as you brought his limp hand up, only tensing slightly as you placed it on your cheek.

You didn’t say anything, waiting for a few seconds to see if he would take the hint on his own before sighing and moving his thumb with your hand that was covering his and placing it against your bottom lip.

He looked almost entranced at the movement, mouth parting in surprise as he felt your lip against his thumb. Then it was your turn to be surprised when he mirrored your movement from the other night and pressed down on it, almost instinctively.

Having startled himself, he started to pull his hand away but luckily you were still holding it in place against your cheek. Before he could make another move to remove it, you were parting your lips and pulling his thumb into your mouth.

He made another loud noise, a half shout nearly at the wet sensation on his digit and you would have laughed if you weren’t certain it would embarrass him to a point of no return.

You watched his reactions through your eyelashes as your hand moved to his wrist, feeling the bone and muscle twitch as you kept his hand in place. He didn’t say anything, watching you as you closed your lips around his thumb and held it there.

He met your eyes for just a second, immediately shooting back down to look where his thumb disappeared when he felt your tongue wrap around it in slow soothing circles.

The hall was silent outside of his heavy breaths and a low sucking sound as you pulled his wrist back and forth slowly so his thumb continued its movements in and out of your mouth. He was standing so stiff that you considered, for a moment, pulling back and asking him if this was okay.

Then he took a deep inhale and pressed his thumb flat against your tongue, causing your breath to catch in your throat with a slight choke. You faintly thought you heard him groan at the noise and you squeezed your hand that was around his wrist.

This seemed to snap him back to reality, eyes bulging as his movements froze completely. You kept your eyes on him even after he pulled his thumb from your mouth, avoiding eye contact with you as soft pants slipped from your lips.

“Do you still think it’s weird?”

——

A day or two passed without you seeing Heeseung, or more accurately without any firm interaction considering he darted away every time you rounded a corner.

This time you weren’t hurt by his avoidance, the hard part was finished and the seed of sin was blossoming in his pretty head. Now all you needed to do was wait for him to come crawling to your door, asking for more, and you’d finally have him.

You didn’t expect it so literally however. The soft knocks on your door after you’d just gotten home from school made you groan, expecting some form of real life spam mail or an annoyed neighbor, all the usuals. Instead your angry expression dropped off your face when you realized it was Heeseung behind the door.

He faltered at the sight of you, almost like he’d forgotten you lived here too. His expression was pained and you almost laughed at the way his eyes instinctively dropped to your mouth.

“Well hi.” You smiled at him and pushed your hip out to lean in the doorway, suddenly aware of the fact you were wearing little duck shorts from middle school. You don’t think he noticed, avoiding looking at your bare legs with all his might.

“Is Jake here?” He was mumbling, looking over your shoulder like he was hoping your brother would come and save him.

“I’m beginning to think I should be offended.” You were only half joking, a genuine disappointment building in your stomach. You’d never had a boy care so little about you, especially after you’d already made a move on him. “He’s at practice still, shouldn’t you know that?”

He didn’t say anything, staring at you for a while before blinking away and shuffling in place. You sighed and took a step to the side, signaling for him to come inside so he didn’t leave a dent in your porch.

He slowly and awkwardly came inside, pressing against the door to avoid touching any part of your body considering you were still perched against the doorway.

“It’s nice to see you.” You found yourself actually meaning this as you said it and nearly laughed at the way he whipped around to look at you in surprise. You’re not sure if he wasn’t expecting you to talk to him in general or just not expecting you to be in a good mood.

“What?” He spoke before he even realized he was and looked down at his shoes.

“I don’t know.” You shrugged and walked closer to him, noting the way he tensed and followed your frame. You moved past him to sit on the couch, patting the spot next to you and smiling. “I missed you.”

He slowly sat next to you, hesitating at the close proximity. Once he was sat, stiff and nervous, you scooted closer so your thighs were pressed together. If he didn’t notice your shorts before, he definitely did now judging by the way his eyes bulged and his hands twitched.

“You don’t know me.” He was shaking his head and you smiled slightly at the fact he was atleast comfortable enough to argue something you’d said.

“I think you’re cute.” You shrugged like it was obvious, watching the side of his face as he avoided looking in your direction. You were sat so close that if he looked at you, you’d probably be touching noses. “And I like your eyes.”

He glanced at you for a second, slight amusement on his face at your surface level answer. If he hadn’t figured out what you wanted by now, he slowly was. You watched as his hand twitched again.

“You want to touch me.” It was more of a statement than a question, shifting in your spot slightly. He didn’t say anything for a while eyes on your leg and you waited patiently, holding your breath so you didn’t scare him off.

“I don’t know.” His voice was breathy and pained like he was dealing with an inner dilemma. For a second he looked so guilty that you wondered if he was possibly religious, lips quirking up at the thought.

“You can.” He made no move despite your urging, glancing at you from the corner of his eye before shaking his head. “Do you want me to help you?”

He didn’t respond again but the sharp breath he took helped you understand his answer, his mannerisms becoming easier and easier for you to read. He didn’t flinch when you grabbed his wrist again, letting you carry his hand over to your leg and encage it with your own once it was touching your warm skin.

“Okay?” You were whispering, leaning your top half against him so you could rest your head on his shoulder. You liked to feel the sharp inhales he was taking as his body rose and fell.

He nodded swiftly and you decided now that he was definitely a virgin, the way his hand flexed and shuddered at the feeling of just your skin, being the most obvious sign. Excitement was bubbling under your skin again and you could hear Sunoo’s voice calling you immoral.

“Do you think I’m pretty?” You were turning your head on his shoulder to whisper against his neck and he made a startled noise at the feeling, hand tightening on your leg. You weren’t quite sure what prompted you to ask him that but you were suddenly desperate to hear his response.

He was nodding quickly for a second before actually responding, almost like he knew you wanted to hear him say it. “Yes. So pretty.”

You smiled and kissed the base of his neck in thanks, drinking in the small whimper like noise he made in response.

A minute or two passed in silence, you tightly pressed against him and listening to his sharp nervous breathing while he slowly relaxed his hand on your thigh, at some points being brave enough to gently caress your smooth skin with his thumb. You liked letting him explore, seeing how long it took for him to do the smallest things, but you were growing slightly impatient.

His hands were big, almost encasing the surface area of your leg and your hand looked extra small on top of his, slowly directing it upwards closer to the hem of your shorts. He met your gaze with a panicked look and you stopped in place for a few seconds, waiting for any sign of permission.

“Why are you doing this?” He was whispering as he turned to look you in your eyes, forehead nearly touching yours. He looked confused and pained and you almost felt a strange guilt as you looked at him.

“If you don’t want me to, I’ll stop.” You’d lost the purr in your voice, deadly serious as you spoke the most important words you could say to him. You were pushy and had a certain set of interests others might find disturbed, but you were absolutely not somebody who made others uncomfortable in a negative way.

“Are you just screwing with me?” He didn’t sound upset, just genuinely insecure and curious like he couldn’t understand why you would want him to be touching you.

You were pleased that despite being shy and not talking a lot, he wasn’t afraid to ask you things he found important. It reassured you that he would alert you if you pushed him too far, but you also were thrown off by his lack of self credit. Heeseung was definitely a dork and not the best in social situations, but he was stunning and sweet, not to mention large in size.

That small reminder caused you to glance down at his hand that was still on your leg, thumb just on the edge of hooking underneath your shorts. You pressed your legs together and looked back at him, noting the dark flash that passed in his eyes at the movement.

“I want you.” You spoke bluntly, not sure how else to reassure him the way he was searching for. You weren’t going to lie to him, you couldn’t sit here and tell this boy you wanted to date him and treat him good but you could definitely be honest with him and tell him why he was sat on your couch right now.

He looked at you in silence for a second like he was waiting for you to laugh or say something else, prove him right about his suspicions. When you kept your face firm and serious he sucked in a breath and nodded slowly, accepting that this was just something that was happening to him now.

You wondered for a second what type of place he’d lived before where girls didn’t find him attractive, suddenly very glad he was your brothers friend and you saw him before anybody else had the chance to corrupt his mind.

His hand was moving on it’s own now, a small burst of confidence at your blatant desire for him. He seemed unsure of his movements as his hand pushed up under the entrance to your small shorts, stopping and resting against your underwear clad hip, trapped between the two fabrics.

“Has anyone ever kissed you?” You were asking and he seemed confused that you chose to ask that instead of acknowledging him for touching you on his own. You smiled at that and noted for later use that he was searching for approval and praise.

He thought for a second and you wondered if he was considering whether or not to lie. Maybe he hadn’t caught on to your strict type yet and just figured you liked nerdy guys.

“Don’t lie to me. I don’t mind either way.” Your voice was suddenly firm at the command and then immediately softening in reassurance. It was truthfully too despite the fact you were most hopeful to him saying no.

He was shaking his head and you didn’t miss the way his eyes were stuck on your lips, hand flexing with impatience under your shorts.

“If I kiss you, you can’t ignore me anymore.” You whispered and he was nodding as you spoke. You were worried he was so eager for you to do something he wasn’t quite thinking before agreeing to things. And you meant what you said, if you kissed him it would be important to you.

“You can’t tell Jake.” He was suddenly saying and you almost laughed at the irony of him warning you not to tell your own brother, if anything it should be the other way around. You thought the fact he was seeking approval from the other boys was cute, despite it causing problems in your own desires.

He didn’t seem to appreciate the fact that you chuckled at him, frowning softly and trying to make his expression more serious. You liked the dazed out look on his face, almost like he was too drunk on touching you to think clearly. You couldn’t help yourself from surging forward and pressing your lips tightly against his.

He froze up, hand squeezing your leg now so tight it was almost painful. You didn’t expect him to know how to kiss you back but he still tried after he regained his composure, pushing his face forward into yours.

You pulled back quickly, pecking his lips three more times in small kisses in the process. Not wanting to overwhelm him, you leaned back slightly to study his expression. When his eyes fluttered back open he was looking at you with shock and excitement, not even noticing the way his hand was kneading your hip inside of your shorts.

You took a breath to prepare to ask him if that was okay when you were cut off by him leaning back into you and kissing you again.

Smiling against his lips, you brought your hands up to cup his face and try to guide him a little bit more so he wasn’t just pressing his lips against yours in a haste. Still you let him explore on his own for a bit, tilting your head back so he could push into you.

After 30 seconds of letting him get used to the feeling, you started to move your mouth against his in a smooth rhythm. He hummed, low and guttural, at the sensation of actually kissing you and in his eagerness to move forward and lean into you, his hand slipped and pressed itself directly over your core.

You both gasped into the kiss, for different reasons considering the fact he immediately lept away from you onto the other side of the couch and covered his mouth in panic and apology.

You were just opening your mouth to tell him it was alright, more than okay in your opinion, when the front door was swinging open. You immediately closed your lips in anger and frustration at the sight of your brother who was observing the situation with squinted eyes.

It definitely looked damning, your shorts were ridden up on your thigh and Heeseung was sat a few feet away panting and running a hand through his hair to try to flatten it down.

Jake gave you a knowing look, a sharp glare and your lips curled into a smirk as you shrugged at him.

——

It was a day or two later and you were stood in the center of your room, staring at yourself in the mirror and trying to decide which color bathing suit you wanted to wear.

The boys all planned to go to the beach today, one last warm weekend before the fall season started and they were jammed packed with peak football busyness. Luckily for you, despite your current silent war you were having, Jake had extended the invitation to you and Sunoo too.

“The pinks way better.” Speaking of Sunoo, he was in his usual position that he adorned anytime you were getting dressed before heading out. Laying on his stomach with his feet in the air on your bed, watching you with a keen eye and sharp opinions.

You frowned at his comment, unsure and feeling slightly insecure. Trying not to think about how strange that was for you, you nodded in confirmation and pulled shorts and a hoodie over your suit for the ride there.

By the time you got to the car you were feeling pretty awful about the days direction, knowing yourself well enough to know something as small as not feeling pretty could ruin your mood completely. You tried to keep your energy light, planning to relax once you got there and not risk ruining anybody’s else day in collateral damage.

When the van door slid open, your eyes widened upon seeing Heeseung sat in your usual seat, his expression mirroring your own.

“Hope you don’t mind Y/N.” Riki was leaning forward from the backseat and smiling brightly at you. “Thought it would be cool to kidnap the new kid.”

You didn’t say anything, eyes sliding back over to Heeseung who was looking at you with heavy awkwardness but not avoiding your eye contact. You felt lighter at the knowledge he wasn’t taking what you had said about ignoring you lightly.

Climbing into the van and towards the back seat, you and Sunoo sat beside Riki and relaxed for the rest of the ride.

You liked being in the back like this, your position giving you the perfect view of Heeseung’s side profile. He kept glancing back at you throughout the drive, looking more and more surprised that your gaze never drifted from him.

You hadn’t spoken to him since kissing him, he had immediately stood from the couch with awkward posture and shuffled off in the direction Jake was leading him, not sparing you a glance.

You’d spent that night scrolling through his socials, atleast the ones that weren’t private, and wondering if you should message him or not. That thought didn’t last long, far too out of character for you and you’d already been accidentally doing that.

Heeseung didn’t need to know you were thinking about him before you went to sleep that night and he definitely didn’t need to know that you didn’t normally kiss the boys you played with.

After you’d gotten to the beach and all the boys had dog piled their way out of the van, you tugged your shorts down uncomfortably and followed behind them at a much slower pace. You liked observing them despite your bad mood, especially the playful laughs Sunoo let out as he joked around with them.

You were so caught up in your people watching that you didn’t notice Heeseung also lagging behind until he was walking side by side with you, keeping his distance but sparing you quick glances as you walked.

It surprised you that he both wasn’t ignoring you and that he was willingly being alone with you while your brother was only a few yards in front.

A strange satisfaction ran through you and you smiled in Heeseung’s direction, brightly when his ears and cheeks flushed bright red.

After the boys had set up the blankets and chairs, they ran off towards the water and you settled into one of the plastic seats. Jay was still stood near you, applying sunscreen diligently and squinting against the bright sun.

“You should let me put some on you.” He was saying once you took off your hoodie and you scoffed without looking at him. You didn’t mind Jay despite his flirting but you had no doubt his eyes were glued to your chest as he proposed applying the sunscreen to your bare skin.

“I’m serious.” He laughed at your reaction, knowing what you were thinking. “In a friendly way, I promise.”

You looked at him now from over your sunglasses, analyzing his expression as you felt the sun heat up your exposed skin.

“Fine.” You sighed and rolled over onto your stomach so he could have easier access to your back. “But you touch me inappropriately with your grubby hands and I’ll cut them off.”

“I bet your brother would first anyways.” You could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke, kneeling down on the sand next to you. You heard the cap of the bottle open as he squeezed a good amount into his hands and pressed them onto your skin. “Besides, I know you have your sights set on another suitor.”

You didn’t have to ask him what he was referring to, seeing no point in playing dumb. Both Jay and you knew a very large reason you’d never responded to his advances was because your specific type, and you also both knew who happened to fit that type perfectly.

“He’s cute.” You shrugged the best you could in your position and Jay pressed his thumb into your back, a light massage now as you talked.

“Sure, if you’re into that.” He chuckled softly and you smiled even though he couldn’t see it. “Not so cute with the way he’s glaring at me right now though.”

You sat up upon hearing that, resting on your elbows and looking over your shoulder towards the water where the rest of the boys had disappeared. At first you thought Jay was just teasing until you caught sight of Heeseung and confirmed the icy stare he was directing towards the two of you.

It was so out of his usual character that you felt genuine shock wrack through you, rolling over and sitting up properly.

After a few seconds of holding eye contact with each other he was wading out of the water and heading in your direction, Jay laughed and stood up swiftly with a mumble about ‘knowing when to leave’. He passed Heeseung on his way to the water and gave him a pat on the chest that you didn’t quite understand.

When he reached where you were sitting, you felt slightly hypnotized by the way he looked. He was standing over you and blocking out the sun, hair wet and dripping onto his tight swim shirt. He almost looked angry and your eyes dropped down to his extended hand that was pointing in your direction.

“Do you want to get ice cream with me?” Despite his tense exterior, his voice still sounded the exact same, a nervous quiver making his words quiet and stuttered.

He looked relieved when you nodded and took his hand, letting him pull you up onto your feet and help steady you.

The ice cream shop was connected to the beach but a bit away in the distance, leaving you out of view from the rest of your group and a bit more private. He hadn’t spoken the entire walk there and you were beginning to worry with how tense his shoulders were, stopping him before he turned the corner and softly guiding him so his back hit the side of the building.

He looked down at you as you crowded his space, pushing against him despite how cold the wetness of his shirt felt against your bare chest.

“What’s wrong?” You looked up at him through your eyelashes and he blinked down at you, jaw twitching with how tense it was

“Why didn’t you ask me?” He responded and you felt confused for a second before understanding he was referring to Jay applying your sunscreen.

The realization that he was jealous caused a surge of excitement to pass through you and you rocked forward on your toes, pressing against him harder if that was even possible.

“You walked away and he offered.” Your lips formed a pout despite your giddiness and his eyes went from your lips down to your chest that was smushed against his front.

You felt the sudden desperation to touch him or to have him touch you, maybe even to kiss him again. You just wanted to be as close to him as humanly possible, you wanted him to call you pretty again and you weren’t quite sure what to feel about this overwhelming urge.

“Don’t be mad at me Hee.” You continued after he didn’t say anything, his eyebrows pulled forward in a confused and jealous expression. You didn’t think he was actually mad at you but you didn’t like how his face didn’t have its usual softness.

“I’m not mad, I don’t know.” He confirmed your thoughts and shook his head, eyes softening just a little when he looked down at you again.

“Are you jealous?” You pressed on the subject, having a feeling he wouldn’t admit it on his own.

“I didn’t mind it I guess… seeing him touch you.” He admitted softly and you suddenly were plagued with the thought that he might be a lot less innocent than you thought. If anything he seemed a bit curious at the thought of somebody else touching you. “I just…”

“Wanted it to be you?” You filled in the blank for him as he trailed off and he nodded after a second.

You wanted to laugh at this but you didn’t, not wanting him to get embarrassed. Yet it was almost comical that he had absolutely no idea how much more of a chance he had with you than Jay, than any of the other boys who were constantly competing for your attention.

Instead of explaining this to him, you stood up on your toes again and pulled him down for a kiss.

Your hands were in his wet hair and a sudden shudder ran through you at the way he had to bend down to reach your mouth.

He was taken off guard for a second before kissing you back, this time immediately moving his mouth against yours in a nice slow rhythm like you had shown him next time. He was a fast learner and you felt giddy at that fact.

The kiss was sweet and slow, giving him the silent reassurance he seemed to be asking for but you felt growing impatience at the pace when you realized you were completely pressed against his lean body in a state of undress, tugging on his wet hair slightly in an attempt to catch his attention.

It seemed to work because you felt his shaky hands come up and rest on your lower back, pulling you tighter against him as he breathed an unsteady gasp against your lips. You liked the way he continuously tugged you forward despite there being no way you could get any closer to him.

His hands were fast and desperate as your mouths moved with eachother, the addicting feeling of kissing you clouding his mind and helping him forget all the anxiety and uneasiness he was originally feeling in your presence.

His knees were weakening and he slid down the wall slightly, legs jutting out at the weird angle so his leg was pressed slightly between your own, he immediately stopped pulling on your figure and kissing you, glancing down at what he’d just done.

He seemed unsure about the fact his knee was now practically hovering between your legs as you kept him trapped against the brick wall.

“Heeseung.” Your breathy use of his full name caught his attention and he snapped his head up to look at you. You didn’t say anything else, just nodding your head and kissing him again.

He accepted this as a form of permission, another surge of excitement and confidence pushing him to pull you closer again. This time, because of the new position, you were practically rocking against his bent leg as you breathed into his mouth.

You tried not to think about the fact you were practically dry humping him out in public, licking into his mouth to test his reaction to you pushing the kissing even further.

He half groaned, half whimpered at the feeling and squeezed his hands that were around your waist causing you to laugh at the ticklish sensation. Your laugh was interrupted by him pushing his tongue into your mouth suddenly, trying and failing to mirror what you had just done to him. You tugged on his hair again as a sign to take it slower, giving him a soft peck before demonstrating again.

You did that a few times, licking into his mouth and kissing him open mouthed and sloppy before pulling away to catch your breath and observe his reaction.

His normally wide eyes were downturned and hazy, dark with want and excitement as he experienced this emotion he’d never felt before. He felt addicted to you and the way you were melting against him, perched on his bent knee and taking pretty little gasps for air as you tried to calm yourself down.

“Fuck.” You were breathing out in a sigh and he couldn’t help but smile slightly at your state, feeling proud he had been the one to cause it. His cheeks were still bright red and you felt the urge to kiss him again. “You sure you haven’t done that before?”

This seemed to embarrass him further and he shifted against the wall, his shirt sticking to the rough material of the brick. He was practically dry by now and your hand left his hair to drag it’s way down his chest and stomach.

You could feel the muscle tensing and flexing under your touch despite the shirt creating a barrier between your skin to his and you felt mesmerized by the smooth slope of his stomach. He seemed to be taking in your outfit now too, possibly for the first time realizing how little clothes you were wearing.

“I didn’t know what to wear.” You were breathing out, overly aware of how self conscious you’d been earlier in the day regarding your bikini. It was pink and frilly, the bottoms fabric poking out from the top of your jean shorts.

“It’s perfect.” He was whispering, eyes locked on your chest and stomach. Then he was flushing again and looking back at you, embarrassment furthering at the way you quirked your eyebrow at him. “It’s pretty I mean.”

You didn’t respond, an unfamiliar blush on your cheeks at the sincerity in his compliment. You felt slightly angry at yourself for the way his validation changed your mood in seconds.

“Are you still upset.” You eventually asked and he shifted against the wall again, hands on your back pulling you tight like he didn’t even realize he was doing it.

“Wasn’t upset.” He mumbled and shrugged, holding your eye contact for once. “He just talks about you sometimes.

This peaked your interest slightly and you cocked your head at him. You knew Jay thought you were hot and liked to mess with you to piss your brother off but you hadn’t considered the fact he might actually be voicing desires for you when you weren’t around to hear.

“What’s he say?” You questioned and Heeseung suddenly looked like he did when you first met, awkward and squeamish.

“Just..” He was mumbling and squirming against you with a frown. “Stuff he wants to do to you I guess.”

You didn’t say anything, just humming in understanding and studying his features and expression. He looked slightly pale and like he was rethinking the things his friend had said in private, jaw tensing again like it had by the water.

“Stuff like.. kissing me?” You flattened your hand on his chest as your voice turned into a low drawl. “Sticking his tongue in my mouth and letting me feel good on his thigh?”

His mouth was parting in a small breath as you kept talking, slowly understanding you were describing things you’d done with him to make a strong point.

“Let him talk.” You shrugged and kissed his jaw, taking a small step away from him afterwards. “I’ve made my choice.”

——

After ushering a flustered Heeseung back to the water, ignoring the glare from Jake at your lack of ice cream, you found yourself actually managing to have fun.

You joined in on playing with them in the water, playing chicken against Sunoo, him on Riki’s shoulders and you ontop of Heeseung’s.

His strength surprised you, winning all three rounds before you were tapping out and practically coughing out water with messy hair and a bright smile. The sun was setting by the time you all left and you liked the way he looked on the drive home far more than the trip there, eyes tired and skin tanned.

The night you were rolling around in bed again, trying not to disturb a sleeping Sunoo next to you while you locked and unlocked your phone in frustrated contemplation.

Eventually you gave in to your desire, pressing follow on Heeseung’s private instagram and immediately shutting your phone off and pressing it tight to your chest when it alerted you a request had been sent to him.

You felt incredibly stupid for acting like this and like you weren’t in control of your emotions for the first time in a very long time. You think part of you liked that factor about the types of people you normally were with, the control was completely and utterly up to you and they’d pretty much follow you into battle if you batted your eyelashes the right way.

Heeseung had a weird way of making you feel helpless, despite making no move himself to control you or the things you did, he still had an upsetting power over you that you don’t even think he realized.

Proven correct again by the way your heart surged as your phone vibrated against your chest, lifting it up and squinting at the bright screen to see he had accepted your request and followed you back.

You wondered what he was doing up this late, nearing 3am now and opened up his profile to see if he had any post. There was only a handful and you scrolled to the bottom first, studying a pretty photo of a dog in a window without a caption.

The next three post were also pretty simple, photos of sunsets and a guitar leaning against a wall that you assumed was in his room. The four most recent were what caught you attention, actually featuring him and other people unlike the other ones which seemed more atmosphere focused.

You smiled softly at the photo of him and your brother, Jake in his football uniform with black paint smeared across his face as he appeared mid yell with an arm around Heeseung’s shoulder. You noted the camera around Heeseung’s neck and realized you had been right about Jake lying and he wasn’t actually on the football team, just working with them.

The fondness you felt looking at the photo was followed by a pang of guilt as you looked at the next one, another photo with Jake but this time with the rest of the boys as well.

Heeseung was in the middle of the mirror selfie with a bright smile on his face, one you hadn’t seen and the other boys were crowding around him in different poses. You opened the comments to see them having various discussions, but all for the most part, praising Heeseung for taking a photo of his face and posting it.

The final two made your breath catch in your throat, considering the fact you were in both of them.

You weren’t sure when he had taken the first one, a photo of you lazily strewn in the plastic chair at the beach. You were adjusting your sunglasses and mid laugh at something that, you assume Sunoo, was saying off in the distance.

It must’ve been some time after your water fights considering your hair was wet across your shoulders and you weren’t wearing the shorts you had been before. The sun was cascading prettily and you don’t remember if it was actually that beautiful out or if he had edited the photo expertly.

You’d always been aware of the fact that people found you pretty, having heard it pretty much your entire life even when you didn’t quite believe it or know how to respond. You’re sure nowadays people found it as a negative thing, thinking you were too full of yourself when you fluffed your perfectly crafted hair or conceited in the way you constantly reapplied mascara and lipgloss. But for the first time in your entire life, staring at this photo he’d taken of you, you thought you looked beautiful.

You liked it hesitantly, scrolling up to see the second and final one of you.

You’d seen him take this one, it was right after he’d taken a few of Jake and Jay as they dried off and joked around with each other and then he was turning the camera towards you.

A smile spread across your face making your cheeks hurt as you looked at it. You were staring at the camera with a shocked look on your cheery face, a peace sign held up in a blur of movement from your fast attempt at a pose before he clicked the button.

These ones didn’t have any captions either but something about him picking two photos of you from all the ones you’d seen him taking today made your heart race in a way that made you slightly queasy. He was continuing to surprise you and more noticeably, making you surprise yourself.

“Can you shut that shit off?” Sunoo’s groggy voice was immediately snapping you out of your little dream like thought process, the brightness of your screen waking him up.

“I think I like him.” You let your words hang in the darkness, not liking the way he fell completely silent at your whispered statement.

“That’s new.” He eventually breathed out and you heard him turn onto his side, trying to look at you in the darkness. You were laying flat on your back and staring up at the ceiling in contemplation. There was some left over glow in the dark stars from a middle school sleepover the two of you had.

“Yeah.” You breathed out in response. “Well.. goodnight.”

——

By the time you had finally woken up, eyes peeling open with a groan, Sunoo was already up and out of bed. You could hear him off somewhere in your house, laughing loudly at something.

You frowned and checked the time, noting the two notifications underneath the numbers alerting you it was already past noon.

Jake was one of the notification banners, sending you a message to announce the fact he was having a party tonight. Your frown deepened as you read that. Your weekends were usually filled with bouncing from different houses with each other but it was rare you held one at home.

The other notification changed your mood, seeing that Heeseung had seemingly liked every single one of your instagram post while you had been sleeping.

You smiled to yourself giddily at the thought of him scrolling through your page, without thinking you were pressing the ‘message’ tab on his page and typing.

y/n : hi

heeseung : Hey

y/n : woah that was fast

heeseung : Sorry

heeseung : Should I wait a bit

You laughed out loud at the fact he was somehow able to be more awkward over text than he already was in person, a fondness settling in your tired head.

y/n : will i see u tonight?

A few seconds passed without a response despite the little words under your message letting you know he had read it immediately, most likely sitting with your chat open similarly to how you were with his.

heeseung : I’m actually already here… downstairs to be specific

y/n : will u come up here?

You sent the message before you thought about it and you watched his activity status turn off after he read your message.

You immediately panicked and sat up swiftly, you hadn’t even considered the fact you were freshly woken up and he had never seen you in any state of slightly natural, suddenly overwhelming insecure of how you looked.

Before you had a chance to get out from under the covers or look in the mirror, soft knocks on your door were making you freeze and hold your breath.

You felt ridiculous once Heeseung poked his head inside your door, his big round eyes brightening when he saw you sat up with your blankets covering your lap. He looked excited to see you and you quickly forgot about your appearance or what he might’ve been thinking at the sight of you. He clearly was happy to see you.

“Hey.” He breathed out, sliding through a small gap in your door and softly closing it behind him. You wondered if he gave Jake an excuse for leaving or just hoped he wouldn’t notice his absence.

“Hi.” You smiled warmly at him and patted the side of your bed that was empty, where Sunoo had been sleeping a few hours before. He glanced at you in confusion for a second before hesitantly walking closer to your bed and slowly lowering himself onto it.

It creaked underneath his weight and you laughed softly at his slow movements, lifting the blankets once he was sat down and tossing them over his lap so you were both halfway underneath the covers.

“Are we taking a nap?” He was whispering in a joking tone and you briefly acknowledged the fact he was a lot more casual around you in terms of saying things on his mind.

You were a bit nervous about this change in pacing between the two of you. Maybe he had come up to your room expecting something similar to your past interactions, maybe he was even disappointed as he laid next to you in your warm bed with no sign of your usual devil horns peeking through.

“Is that okay?” Even when unsure of yourself, you liked to remain blunt and honest.

He looked at you for a few beats, eyes warm and knowing like he had somehow figured out your insecurity. Then he was nodding and laying back against the pillow, outstretching an arm onto yours so when you laid down, it’d be against him and not your fabric.

You curled against his side and silently appreciated him for not saying anything, drinking in his silence and resting your head on his chest so you could listen to his heartbeat.

Surprisingly, it was still racing just as fast as it normally was despite only laying in bed with you. He was showing no signs of nervousness or anxiety, or maybe you were still half asleep and were just failing to pick up on his usual signs.

“Are you nervous?” You whispered for some reason and he tightened his arm around you, rubbing your back slowly and uncertainly.

“I’m always nervous I think.” He was whispering back and you almost laughed at the drama of it all. “Especially around you.”

You hummed softly, your hand coming up to rest against his stomach so you could feel his inhales better. He was wearing a white tshirt and you could feel his muscles tensing at your touch.

“Because I’m pretty?” You tried not to sound desperate when you asked, not wanting him to think you were fishing for compliments. You just wanted to hear him say it for some reason.

“Yeah, you’re pretty.” He seemed to always know what you were thinking, immediately fulfilling your request despite the blush it brought to his cheeks. “And you’re nice to me.”

This caught your attention more than the first part, although that also undeniably made your face flush. You weren’t quite sure you’d be at all nice to him, sure you hadn’t made a fool out of him or completely ignored him but you were genuinely taken back by the fact he thought you were nice.

You’d heard charming, alluring and even, at times, manipulatively sweet but it was rare somebody told you they thought you were kind.

“Why wouldn’t I be nice to you?” You pushed forward in your low spoken questioning, liking the vulnerability this position gave you. You were the closest you’ve ever been but you couldn’t see each others faces, making it easier to speak freely.

You felt his body move in what, you could only assume, was a small shrug. His hand stopped moving on your back and you shifted closer to him, frowning slightly at his sudden silence.

“You’re nice too.” You decided to say eventually, feeling embarrassed at the openness.

“I’m sure everybody’s nice to you.” He was slowly sounding more tired and you wanted to sit up and shake him awake so you could keep talking. “It must be hard not to be.”

You didn’t like the way he said that, like you were somebody deserving of good treatment all the time. You suddenly felt a pang of guilt at the reminder of who you were, why he was even in your bed in the first place.

“It’s different.” You said instead, not wanting to give those nasty thoughts too much attention. “You’re actually nice. Not because you want to sleep with me or get close to my brother.”

“I think sleeping with you would solidify me never being close to your brother again.” You could hear the smile in his voice and you laughed against his chest. He seemed looser when he was tired and you wanted to ask him all the things he’d normally be too shy to say out loud.

A minute passed in the silence and you realized through the soft rise and fall of his stomach that he had fallen asleep, arm limp in it’s place on your side.

You tried not to think about any of the things bothering you despite Sunoo’s voice in your head reminding you that your normal habits were immoral. Focusing in instead on the soft beat of Heeseung’s heart, you let yourself fall back asleep against him.

——

By the time you woke up again, even more groggy and out of it than you had been the first time, you could tell it was later in the day.

The soft blue haze of the sun setting was filling up your room and you almost started to stretch like normal before remembering you hadn’t fallen asleep alone, sitting up slightly in confusion at the lack of company in your bed.

Heeseung wasn’t there anymore and the blankets were messy like he had left in a hurry. You waited for a few seconds to listen in for him, maybe in your connected bathroom a few feet away but after not hearing anything and feeling the fact the bed was cold on his side you figured he had left some time ago.

You weren’t mad at him considering the fact the party had probably begun to start by now, you sleeping most the day away after having such a long night, but you couldn’t help but feel disappointed that he hadn’t left a note or sent a text.

You immediately felt stupid for thinking like this considering he was most likely just downstairs with the other boys and it wasn’t like he went home in the middle of the night, he knew he’d see you even if he left. It wasn’t like you to act like this over a boy and it would’ve been more frustrating and worrisome if he wasn’t so kind and gentle with you.

Finally climbing out of bed, you dressed yourself in a skirt and a hoodie before fixing your hair and applying some mascara. They were most likely pregaming by now, maybe a few early stragglers stopping by to get ahold of the best drinks before they were gone. But you didn’t really feel the need to overdo your appearance like you typically did, feeling more comfortable since it was held at your house and you could always come and change if the situation called for it.

You were leaving your room and making your way to the stairs when you heard unfamiliar laughs and voices coming from the living room.

Pausing against the railing, you froze and listened in to what they were saying once you heard your name from one of their mouths.

“I mean you have to tell us dude, she has to be good considering how much she’s ran through.” One of the boys from the football team was talking and you could practically hear the smile in his voice.

You weren’t sure who he was talking to but it didn’t bother you much considering you’d heard it before, rumors from classmates and name calling from boys who were mad you had turned them down.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” This definitely bothered you. Heeseung’s sweet nervous voice was floating up the stairs and you heard the other boys started laughing again at the way his voice shook.

“C‘mon man, I totally saw you leaving her room earlier when Sim called.” Another boy was speaking now and you wondered how many were down there and why your brother wasn’t with Heeseung.

You considered marching down there and dragging Heeseung away from the teasing, but you figured that would only put him in a worse spot. You didn’t mind anybody knowing you were doing things with him but you knew he was serious about Jake not finding out.

“Why would I fuck her?” Heeseung was talking again and your heart dropped at his tone of voice, almost sounding disgusted by the idea. “Like you said, she’s ran through.”

You didn’t hear anything else after that, ears deafening once the boys started to laugh and seemingly smack his back in approval for his harsh words against you. Your throat felt hot with embarrassment and panic was filling up your chest and head.

“Y/N? What are you doing up there?” Jake’s concerned voice filtered through and you looked down through the gaps in the banister, seeing him having just walked through the door with groceries bags dangling from his arm.

Your teary eyes shuffled over towards Heeseung and the football players to see him standing completely rigid as he looked up at you, Jake calling attention to you and your hiding place.

There was no use in pretending you hadn’t heard what he said, your expression betraying you and making it extremely obvious.

You were turning around and darting back into your room, slamming the door and throwing yourself onto your bed in a sob. Burying your face into the pillow, you groaned in frustration at the fact it smelled like Heeseung and you threw it onto the floor.

You’ve heard these things before, even worse at times but for some reason hearing him say it felt like the worst thing possible.

It was the scariest thing in the world, the way you felt about him so soon, but for once you were finding yourself liking the loss of control. It felt safe and comfortable, completely opposing how it normally felt.

You weren’t sure if he actually thought those things about you or if he was just trying to douchebag his way out of an awkward conversation but it didn’t matter to you regardless, his voice looping in your head with that unfamiliar tone.

A vibration under your stomach was causing you to pick up your sniffly face, eyes squinted with tears as you shuffled around to try to find your abandoned phone you were apparently smothering.

When you finally managed to feel it against your wandering hand you saw a few different text chain alerts.

One from Sunoo, asking if you were okay and if he could come up or if you wanted some space. Another was from Jake again, double texting to ask a similar thing followed by telling you he’d cancel the party if you wanted him to.

You responded to them both quickly, telling Sunoo you were okay and you’d talk to him later and letting Jake know you didn’t care about the party you’d just stay in your room.

The third message was from Heeseung’s instagram account but you didn’t look at it, shutting off your screen and yelling into your blanket.

You thought for just a second about getting up out of your bed and putting on your best outfit, going down to join the party and acting like Heeseung hadn’t affected you as much as he did.

But that was the thing you liked most about him. You didn’t feel the need to play this character or hide behind an emotionless mask.

Instead you spent the rest of the night in that same position, listening to the music gradually get louder as more and more people filled into your house. You almost wanted to laugh at the irony of you, a complete party goer with a carefree lifestyle, hiding from an exciting night just a few feet away.

Hours were passing like that, your mind racing with thoughts of what they could be doing down there. You wondered if Heeseung wanted to follow you up here but was too shy or if he had no plans of coming at all. You curled into a ball on your side.

Eventually you let yourself fall asleep again, body feeling heavy and exhausted from crying and overthinking. You couldn’t have been asleep long before you were waking up again to soft knocks against your door, you frowned deeply and ignored them.

You figured it was some drunken idiot, maybe a couple looking for a room to hook up in and you didn’t have the energy to tell them to go away so you just laid there in silence and hope they didn’t try to turn your unlocked doorknob. That hope didn’t last long before you heard the soft rattle of the metal, the knob squeaking as it twisted and your door was pushed open just a sliver.

Nobody came through it at first, like they were waiting for a reaction from you, and then Heeseung’s head was poking through it just how it did this morning.

The scene was a direct replay but the mood was completely flipped now, his face lacking any sign of a warm smile and instead looking startled at the fact you were awake and looking at him coming into your room.

“Were you hoping I was asleep so you could just leave?” You looked away from him as you spoke, rolling back onto your stomach to try to look less pathetic and more casual.

He didn’t say anything, coming into your room considering the fact you hadn’t screamed at him to get out, and closing the door behind him.

“I wanted to talk to you.” He was stuttering and you had a feeling he was wringing his hands together but he sounded sure of himself.

You sighed and turned your head to look at him from your spot on the bed. He was awkwardly hovering next to the bed and looking at you, face crumpling with guilt when he saw your puffy eyes and red cheeks.

“Or I can just suck your dick and you can go and rate it on a scale of 1-10 for the entire school body.”

His eyebrows furrowed at your sarcasm and he slowly sat on your bed, keeping his distance and barely resting against the edge of it.

“That’s not funny.” He shook his head as he spoke, his back was towards you but he was looking over his shoulder at you.

“It seemed to be earlier.” That was slightly unfair of you considering he hadn’t been laughing with them earlier from what you could tell but his harsh words had been replaying in your mind for hours and you weren’t feeling the most gentle towards him.

“They just got in my head I don’t know.” He was still shaking his head and pressing his hands tightly against his knees. “They kept talking about what you do and I just wanted it to be different.”

“It is different.” You were cutting him off and his jaw twitched slightly. He didn’t seem to know how to explain himself properly and he was digging himself a bigger hole. “I thought what we were doing was different.”

“How?” He was turning more so he could look at you more directly, eyebrows furrowed in an angry expression you hadn’t seen before. “What’s different about this? Jake told me the same thing when I first got here, I know you’re just going to drop this once it’s over.”

“Everything is different about this.” You sat up now, perched on your knees and leaning forward on your hands for emphasis. “I’m not going to sit here and feel bad about my sex life because of your ego Heeseung.”

His face dropped and he shook his head. You knew he wasn’t like that and he wasn’t directly shaming you for being experienced, he was just insecure and didn’t know how to express it. But that wasn’t an excuse for the things he had said about you.

“If you want to hide… whatever this is than fine that’s your choice.” Your voice wavered as you said it, the thought stinging slightly of him being ashamed to be with you. “You could have lied or brushed them off but you chose to insult me and say horrible things.”

His face was softening again in guilt and you were slightly confused before you realized you were crying again. He seemed to lean forward without realizing it and you sat back up on your knees to keep distance between you.

“I’m sorry.” He looked and sounded genuine and you wanted to believe he was but you had also never thought he’d be capable of something like that, so maybe you were trusting him too blindly.

“You made it sound disgusting.” You spat the final word out, face curling in a hurt sob and then he was pulling you into a tight hug, falling forward on your knees and crashing into his chest.

You wanted to be able to push him off of you and tell him to leave your room, leave your house better yet, but you couldn’t help wrapping your arms around his neck and crying into the same soft shirt you’d been sleeping peacefully on a few hours ago.

“It’s not disgusting.” His voice was causing his chest to vibrate and you could feel his heartbeat against your cheek. “I’m such an idiot and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being with you.”

He sounded the most confident you’d heard him, voice lacking its usual quiver and stutter other than the heavy weight of emotion behind his statement.

“You’re right, it was a total ego thing. I didn’t understand why somebody as confident and pretty as you would be interested in me.” He continued on and you wanted to interrupt and dispute his negative claims against himself but you decided to let him finish since he, for once, seemed sure in his words.

“I like spending time with you even if it hasn’t been that long.” You sniffled as he spoke and burrowed into his chest so he knew you were still listening. “Even if Jake tackles me next time he sees me.”

You laughed at that and you felt him rest his chin on top of your head. You were still upset but his words were helping and you wanted to believe him, you were just contemplating if it was worth abandoning the techniques you’d been using to avoid getting hurt like this.

“Maybe I should have asked you on a date before trying to put my fingers in your mouth.” You were whispering against his chest and he barked a laugh at your sudden blunt joke.

Neither of you said anything after that, letting each other think over the situation and sit in a tight hug, you practically in his lap now. You felt a strange tug at your heart regarding the fact there was complete innocence between you despite the compromising position.

In the background, the pastor continues to lecture the both of you about the principles of a wedding, how God should be the center of your everything. Yet your world has been taken away from you, and therefore, your center is filled with void.

"Mr. Jaeyun Jake Sim," You hear the man cloaked in white call for the boy who stood in front of you, Jake, pulling you out of your plotting thoughts. 

"Do you take Miss YN to be your lawfully wedded wife in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, 'til death do you part?"

Not even a second passes, he says, "I do, father."

He wants this, wants to marry you, however, you don't. You may not be able to avoid this marriage, but you will try in every way you can to avoid him.

Jake is handsome and every bit of his physique makes him seem like the sweetest angel. Today, his hair is nicely parted and styled to perfection. He's clad in a typical yet dashing suit, the dress shirt underneath hugging his frame to the point where you can see the outline of his pecks whenever he breathes. You caught the stylists gossiping with each other a while ago, the contents being your grooms natural beauty. They were going on and on about how naturally his face glowed, and how adorable his smile is when he curled his lips upwards. Not to mention, how nice and accommodating he is. If the two of you met under different circumstances, you have no doubt that you'll be the one making the first move.

"And do you, Miss YN, take Mr. Jaeyun Jake Sim to be your lawfully wedded husband in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, til death do you part?"

I don't.

But you have no choice and so, you gulp, letting empty words fall out of your mouth. "I do."

"Now, with the power vested in me, I pronounce the both of you, husband and wife." The pastor in charge announces, and right then, cheers erupt inside the small cathedral as echoes of their claps resound all throughout. You wince when you look at your parents' smile, clapping in an excited manner as they gush to those beside them about how happy they are. Your mother even shedding a tear. However, this is all fluke, something that they had forced onto you regardless of the fact that you despised it.

You didn't think arranged marriages were still a thing in the 20th century, but your parents have proved you wrong. There's not an ounce of them that felt guilty, even when you lashed out, and told them how you don't want to be wed with a stranger just for the company's benefit. But they said it was good for you.

"Don't you see?" Your mom asks as if it's the most obvious thing, grabbing both your arms to make you face her. "Finally, your image of being a whore—"

"Yuri!" Your dad lashes out in anger as he never calls your mother anything but their pet names for each other. This case is different as she's not only making you do something that you don't want, but is calling his own daughter a slut.

You and your mother had never seen each other eye to eye when it came to your nightly agendas. Well, neither did your father, but he loved you too much to tie you down.

"Fine." She breathes out, composing herself. "A playgirl. Your image of being a playgirl can all be erased. Jake is a sweet boy. I have no doubt that you'll fall in love with him eventually."

Oh, the misogyny.

First of all, you're not a playgirl nor are you a whore. You'd prefer the term "An Anti-Romantic that Sleeps Around a lot." Yeah, that's way better.

But all your efforts to sway your parents' minds were in vain— though your dad agreed, your mother didn't, and if there was something more powerful than your father, that was his wife— as by early November, they already had the whole wedding and reception planned, and here you are now, being announced as Sim Jake's beloved wife, his last name now being attached to yours.

Fuck your mother. Fuck your dad for not stopping her. Fuck Jake for agreeing.

If he truly has a heart as pure as milk, he wouldn't have agreed, but milk goes rotten eventually, and you assume the same case has happened to Jake. Yet, the fucker still acts like he's an angel.

"You may now kiss the bride." He says, gesturing to your now husband. 

Just when you thought Jake would happily lean in and kiss you, he doesn't. He shakes in his spot and bites his lip, a nervous habit you've concluded after meeting him just a few times before. He'd done the same when the two of you were introduced for the first time, when the two of you met for dinner with each other's parents, and many other occasions.

You're not going to lie, but you found this habit cute. So, you tell yourself that you're the one leaning in because you want this to be over with, not because you want to get a taste of the strawberry chapstick on his red lips.

At first, Jake's whole body becomes rigid, and you're about to pull away when he loops his arms around your waist and deepens the kiss. Now, it's your body's turn to become rigid. Nevertheless, you keep kissing him because he just tastes so good, completely disregarding the supposed fact that you hate his entire being, reasoning to yourself that you're just acting.

When the time comes to pull away, Jake watches your reaction with nervous eyes, afraid that he's overstepped his already small boundary with you. He knows you don't want this, knows that you don't have any sort of romantic feelings with him, but he can't help it.

The first time he saw you was at a club his friends dragged him to. Jake can't hold his alcohol well, and always proclaimed himself as the driver, meaning that he wasn't going to have a drink at all.

From where Jake sat, talking to a drunk Heeseung, he caught sight of you on the dance floor. He was so in awe of the charisma you showed. He knew the alcohol must've had a part in it, but that didn't matter because to Jake, you were a goddess partying within a sea of mere mortals. You were one of a kind and the spotlight was on you. At that time, Jake was having doubts if he was sane or not for how can someone be this attracted to a stranger they've never even talked to beforehand? He has no idea if it was because of the way your body moved or if it was the way your hands clumsily wrapped around his neck after he had made the daring move to approach you.

Without the alcohol, Jake had the time of his life listening to your drunken rants beside the sidewalk, and his heart started beating laps when you leaned in to rest your head against his shoulder.

"You're such a sweet guy." You slurred out, hand absentmindedly fidgeting with the loose threads of his woolen sweater. "Can I kiss you?"

Taken aback, the boy stutters on his breath, and he looks at you for confirmation. He knows you're drunk, but the determination between your eyes is so adorable, how can he possibly say no? He knows you're drunk, but giving his first kiss to you shouldn't be that bad of a crime, right?

When he timidly nods, you take the initiative, and lean in. When you do, it's like a billion butterflies suddenly fluttered their wings inside his stomach, and he coils into your touch, melting into your body.

Your lips lay against each other for a while before Jake instinctively opens his lips, not wanting to part but needing to breathe, and you take that as your queue to put your warm tongue inside his mouth. That's when Jake feels the small metal bead pierced onto your wet muscle, the piercing on your tongue rubbing against the roof of his mouth and tongue, and Jake can't help but release a small whimper into your kiss.

Jake never wanted something so bad in his life before. He was always willing to give, and put others first. Maybe, just for this time, he can be selfish, and have you.

You probably had no recollection of him, but he had every bit of you reserved in his mind. Your meeting has become a core memory, and Jake will cherish it forever. With that, he'll show you he's worth putting yourself down, and make up for what he's done. Forgive him, but he just can't continue to bear watching you sleep with random men anymore when it should be him that you come home to. You'll be safe with him and he'll treat you right. He just hopes you give him a chance despite your resentment.

Jake watches with sadness as you pull away from each other, and acts nonchalant about the whole kiss as for a moment, he thought that you enjoyed it. The priest then catches his eye and the boy thanks him for leading the ceremony of your wedding while you completely ignore everyone's existence.

It's been about a week into your marriage. Currently, the two of you are still at your honeymoon, your parents deciding to give the whole month to the two, hoping for a baby by the end of it. It's definitely not going to happen, Jake knows that much as with the way you still act cold and dismissive towards him, even Jake doubts if he can hold a civil conversation with you soon.

Though he's been trying to get close to you, it seems as if Jake still hasn't made any sort of progress. He's made sure to be extra nice and charming, accommodating to your every need, being there for you whenever you need a helping hand, but nothing is working. He doesn't want a baby with you. Well, he wants one but he's willing to wait, and if you don't want one then he'll personally make up a lie saying that he's infertile to your parents. He's never lied before, but he'll do it for you.

All Jake wants is for you to acknowledge his presence, to at least spare him a glance. He's been craving to hear your voice and he's willing to beg.

"Good morning." He greets when he sees you coming out of the room, hair tangled in a sleepy manner as you grumble out a response.

The both of you had agreed that you would have the bed all to yourself— well, you claimed it and he complied— seeing as there was no way in hell that you would sleep beside him. Jake gladly accepted the couch, not a single peep of complaint was thrown your way which saves you more time if you were to argue.

Jakes is sitting on the couch, watching a cartoon. You would've thought it was cute for a grown married man to watch children's shows if it weren't for the earful of complaints and lectures your mom threw at you in the early morning. 

She knew fully that you hadn't been treating Jake like a human being. The other day, she found out through the guards that you left him to go party at the hotel's club, and when you were on the phone talking to your mother and Jake just so happened to trudge in and ask you a question, you've always coldly brushed him off. It was safe to say that your mother is the least bit pleased with your behavior, and rang your phone to death while you were happily fast asleep in dreamland. When you picked up, she continued on with her rant, effectively ruining your day as soon as it began, burning your eardrums off in the process

Being the bright guy that Jake is, his cheerful mood picks up upon seeing his wife, talking to you excitedly about his plans for today as if you hadn't been the shittiest person to him for the past week. "Do you want to go out today? I was thinking we could go to the beach—"

"Sure, Jake." You answer dismissively as you pull open the fridges door. "Whatever you want."

Later on, you and Jake venture out to the beach, and you watch him by the shores as you sit on a blanket, a shade put prior up by Jake to block off the sunlight from hitting your skin as he knew full well from experience that you hated the heat. Now, after setting up your rest area, he goes towards a man, later on noticing that he's actually going to be learning how to surf.

Ohh this is going to be so amusing to watch.

Carefully, he listens to the surfing instructor about the do's and dont's when it comes to surfing, nodding along here and there. The board he chose was a sea blue with two bold yellow stripes along the middle. Wet, his hair clings to his forehead, him having to sweep it back from time to time whenever it comes in the way of his vision.

It seemed as if their little pep talk had already come to an end as Jake readjusts his grasp onto the board before looking at you with elated eyes, a huge grin forming across his face. Right then, you notice the way the ends of his mouth curl up into adorable hooks, and you suddenly feel the random urge to trace it. 

Dazed, you wave at Jake and give him a small smile. That seemed to be enough to boost his morale as he unconsciously rewards you with the most adorable look you've ever seen. It was unbelievably charming. A smile so sweet that it puts you under a trance. One where he didn't show his teeth, his mouth forming into a straight line while his cheeks bunch up, his eyebrows raising themselves up. A type of smile that made his cheeks look like soft bread, and he nudged his thumb towards the sea as if to tell you that he's heading into the water.

When Jake turns his back, you snap out, scolding yourself as you ignore the way your heart's beating.

At first, you had planned to leave while Jake is preoccupied, but now, you find yourself stuck to the same spot, looking at your husband as he loses balance on the surfboard and dives headfirst into the way for the sixth time since he went in. You tell yourself that you've stayed because his clumsiness amuses you, not because of the proud smile he throws your way at each progress he makes. He's looking at you as if he's searching for your validation each time he manages to prolong his balance on the surfboard, the eratic oceans doing nothing to help. But regardless, you reward him with a cheer and a thumbs up, him breaking into a boyish grin soon after seeing your gesture.

He looks overwhelmingly charming like this, and each time he falls, he makes sure to go down in a variety of poses. At his antics, you can't help but laugh at the boy and shake your head, unbelieving at the fact that you're laughing at your husband whom you supposedly hate.

Lying chest down on the surfboard, his hands paddle at his sides to gain momentum when he notices a wave soon to crash, clearly looking excited. However, you aren't. 

You can't help but let the panic in you grow as this isn't just a normal sized wave. It's huge, and comparing it to his body, he looks like he's going to get devoured into the water, especially since he's still a beginner.

You stand up from the beach towel you've been laying on, a hand to your chest as you hold your breath. When Jake manages to get on top of the wave, he looks at you in victory, but before you can return the gesture, Jake loses his footing and disappears into the water.

"No…" You inch closer to the sea, feet getting soaked into the water as you wait for Jake to come up. From the corner of your eye, you watch as Jake's instructor begins to grow worried, and you watch him paddle his surfboard close to the area where Jake had disappeared.

"Jake!?" You call out his name yet you don't get a reply. Jake always replies to you. Even when you scream or scoff his name out, he still answers. So, why isn't he now?!

Wanting nothing more than to dive into the water and find him yourself, you chuck your dress off, and swim towards where his instructor is heading, following his lead so the both of you can search for your husband. 

With the wire on the surfboard strapped onto Jake's ankle, you can only hope that his board soon floats up, and after a few long seconds, it does. Finally, you release a loud sigh, quickly paddling your hands to its location, finding your husband passed out. Your heart only sinks deeper at the thought of something terrible happening to him.

Without wasting any more time, both you and the instructor drag Jake's body up to the shore, carefully placing him down. With fear stricken eyes, you cup Jake's cheek in the palm of your hand, shaking it gently in a desperate attempt to wake him up. 

"Jake? Wake up, please." You beg as your hands shake when you grab a hold of his own, clutching them in yours and kissing the back of it as you watch the instructor perform CPR on your husband.

The man presses down on his chest a couple of times before putting his ear next to Jake's mouth, searching for signs of breathing. When nothing happens, the instructor tells you that he's going to have to give Jake mouth to mouth precipitation, and you quickly agree. As the man's lips inch closer to Jakes', your husband suddenly bolt's up, stunning both you and the instructor as you realize that your husband was faking everything all along. 

"I'm awake! I'm awake!" He says, frantically pushing the instructor off, and your jaw hangs in disbelief.

"You asshole!" You scream out, slapping his chest as you feel stray tears trickle down your face at having been worried that he had been gone forever. "Why would you do that, huh? W-Why the fuck are you laughing?! Jake, stop!"

Ugh, how dare he laugh?! You feel so frustrated right now that you just want to punch that sick grin off his face. 

Once Jake notices that you aren't taking his joke the same way he is, he immediately gets serious. He pulls you in for an embrace, and you gladly take it without much resistance, tears stopping soon after as you're just happy that he's alive.

Soon, annoyance comes rushing back into your senses and you dig your palms to his chest, pulling away from him. "Fuck you! I can't believe I bothered to give a shit about you! You pull that type of stunt again Jake Sim, you're not only going to lose a wife, but your kids too!"

And it's safe to say that mixed with the fear of losing his dear wife, Jake felt awfully guilty for trying to sneakily steal a kiss from you. Now that he thinks about it, he couldn't be anymore stupid to do such a horrid prank on you. His intentions might have been for his own selfish desire, but he didn't think you'd shed tears. 

You're a fucking asshole, Jake. You just made your wife cry.

It's safe to say that due to his theatrics, your day of wild surfing and sitting by the beach has been canceled. Not only that but it's as if the heavens sympathize with your mood, the sky turning gray and dark, a foreboding sign that a storm is about dawn.

It's currently night time and you still feel as sour as a sweaty armpit. You've been mercilessly ignoring Jake since the events earlier this morning, wanting him to learn a lesson or two in comedy because none of that shit was even close to funny! It was scary; the thought of him leaving.

Everytime he tries to strike up a conversation with you, you shut him down with short answers and snide remarks. The same topic of "Oh, why don't you just pretend to drown yada yada." recurring on and on and Jake is forced to retreat, though, the idea of trying again never leaving his mind once. 

Even Though he's back in phase one— the phase where you hate his guts— he knows he can get past this. He can do it. He just needs to take his time and give you yours. All he wants right now is to beg down on his knees, and tell you how much he regretted doing it. If only you'd let him, he would lick your feet if you asked.

The two of you were supposed to have dinner outside when the rain started pouring, barring the two of you inside your hotel room as for some reason, the hotel made the bright idea to build the restaurant without a roof. Even though you detested having to be in the same room as Jake, you wouldn't dare getting wet. Luckily for the both of you, room service was a thing.

A part of you feels like you should act nicer towards the boy, besides, he is your husband. During your stay here, he's been nothing but a sweetheart; paying for everything, guiding you, and entertaining every childish plan you have to spite him— well, save for the stupid shit he pulled  this morning— obviously, nothing worked. He just took every dumb thing you did as adorable, even when you ignored him.

"Room service!" A man announces from the other side of the door. Being the gentleman that he is, Jake gets up before you do, telling you that he'll get it.

When the door cracks open, pops of confetti and a series of cheers erupt inside your suite. The whole group of staff shows up, and they all start singing him a happy birthday. One of the staff drags in a cart full of intricate looking dishes placed gently on top, a large bottle of champagne sat nicely on inside a bucket of ice, and a lighted cake with the writings "Happy 20th Birthday!" written on it.

Of course today just had to be his birthday! Now, how are you supposed to maintain your cold exterior once finding out that you've not only forgotten your husband's birthday, but also ignored him the whole day while he was just trying to get a kiss from you. It sounds so dumb yet you assume that it's an idea Jake is willing to entertain.

The poor boy gets taken aback, speechless as they surprise him on his birthday, but nonetheless, he starts clapping smally and humming with them. When he sees that they're putting the dishes down, he goes in to help them, however they shoo the boy away.

"Happy birthday Mr. Jake!" They all cheered in unison, and as their song came to an end, a staff lifted up the cake, and gestured for him to blow the candles off.

Before he does, he closes his eyes, a boyish grin on his face and you almost blurt out the word "Cute" in front of everyone. It certainly won't be out of the ordinary for them, but you can only guess the inner turmoil it's going to give you.

When he's done with his wish, he blows out his candles, and once again, cheers and claps erupt, you joining in and smiling at him, realizing that you can stop being an asshoke just for today since it's his birthday.

"Mrs. Sim," A staff member calls out and asks excitedly, "Aren't you going to give the birthday boy a kiss?"

Both freezing on the spot, you and Jake lock eyes with each other, but no one notices as everyone shoots up in hoots, telling you enthusiastically to give your husband a kiss. 

You take Jake by surprise when you suddenly stride towards him, pressing your lipstick coated lips on his in front of everybody. Like the first time you've kissed him, his cheeks burn, and his heart beats faster. It's like he's reliving his first kiss all over again. This version is just being done in front of a crowd.

His eyes are wide and unbelieving, and upon seeing his adorable reaction, you laugh, dragging your finger across the cake's icing and smearing it on his cheek before walking back with a shake of your head and he doesn't miss the giggle that escapes your lips.

Once he regains his composure and the rave eventually dies down, he thanks the staff, and bids them all a nice farewell, escorting them outside. Jake, being the kind and respectful boy that he is, doesn't forget to bow, showing his gratitude, and you're once again reminded that you're married to a literal angel, and not a devil reincarnate like how you make him out to be. 

Maybe being married to Jake Sim isn't so bad. You're still angry at your parents for approving this, and you still haven't proved the hunch you had that Jake is an accomplice. However, if you find out that he is, would it change your perspective of him. knowing that this kind and angel like persona is his natural self? Is it so bad to be stuck with this man for the rest of your life?

Gosh, it sounds like you're developing a case of Stockholm Syndrome, or are you just plainly bat shit crazy because are you really coming to terms with your situation this early on?

Regardless, you don't know why you've been fussing so much. You're not obligated to fall in love with the man. You just have to treat him how he deserves, like a normal human being. Sure, your endless nights reigned with sex might come to a holt for a few— you'll surely have to if you don't want to be perceived as a cheater by the media. God knows what your mother would do if she finds out you've broken poor little Jakey Wakey's fragile heart and I think it's safe to say that you don't want to hear any of that bullshit soon.

"Uhm…" Is the first thing he says to you after the kiss. Poor Jake is unsure of where the two of you stand. Maybe you were just pressured and kissed him so as to not raise the suspicion that you have absolutely no feelings for him. If that were the case, then he feels like it's his fault. "You hungry?" 

Of Course he asks you. Jake always puts you first regardless of the situation.

"A bit." You reply to him with a soft sigh, feeling unsure yourself after the act you impulsively did.

Jake looks a bit disappointed for a moment as he genuinely thought that you might want to spend some time with him. It's his birthday after all, but he guessed that he had to try even harder for you to accept him if he truly wanted you.

You can see the heartbreak inside his puppy-like eyes, and you bet that if he had a tail, it would've stopped wagging right then. Now, you immediately regret what you said. You could've just lied and said you were hungry for his sake. Read the room you dumb bitch!

"Oh, then we can eat later when you're hungry. I'll heat it up later so it's still hot. For now, I guess—"

"Are you hungry?" You cut him off, placing your book down, sitting up and leaning forward so you can admire the food, and act as if your question didn't just send him into overdrive, this being the first time you've asked a question that showed even a sliver of interest in regards to him.

"Y-Yeah." He says, stuttering out his answer.

You sit up, feeling determined to make up for your bad behavior. "Then we eat." Gesturing for him to sit beside you on the rug right in front of the coffee table, you serve him a plate. 

You feel Jake's stare at the side of your head as he watches you put noodles on his plate so, you look up with questioning eyes, knitting your eyebrows as if to ask if there was a problem. "What?"

"N-Nothing." He says quickly before seating beside you, making sure to put an appropriate amount of space between the two of you so as to not overstep the boundaries that he's already thankful to have with you.

"Eat up. I wouldn't want your mom scolding me for not taking care of her baby boy."

It was as if something in Jake had been ignited when the pet name came out of your mouth. It wasn't in the terms that he wanted it to be in, but just hearing your voice along with those words sends his body on fire, and Jake can only wish you would call him that.

The night goes on with the two of you talking over dinner, Jake being giddy and jumpy the whole time. Despite the grim night, Jake lights up the room with his golden aura, and it's as if there weren't thunder clapping outside. 

Surprisingly, the boy is fairly clumsy. He knocked his glass of water, your glass of water, smeared pasta juice all over his face in a delirious attempt to make you smile— which he succeeded as he even made you laugh— and lastly, spilled wine all over your white shirt.

"I still don't understand how you managed to knock the wine onto my shirt." You scoff out an unbelieving laugh, not at all angry with your shirt being ruined as you make your way to the small of your suite's closet.

"I'm really sorry." He apologizes cutely, following behind you like a puppy, and you can't help but want to pinch his cheeks. "I'll get you a new shirt tomorrow if you want?"

"You're so sweet Jake." You comment, pulling your stained shirt off your body, exposing your bra cladded chest to your husband as if it wouldn't drive him nuts. 

It's the wine working its way into your system that's making you act so shamelessly as you and Jake had a few glasses prior whilst eating. The both of you are a bit tipsy, but there's no decision you can't make in this state of mind.

Taking the chance, your husband rakes over your body, but not before catching himself slipping. He slaps himself for being so perverted, but does it again either way, and to Jake's embarrassment, you catch him.

He's about to blurt out another apology again, but you stop him by tangling your arms around his neck, pulling his body flushed against yours in the heat of the moment. "If you're going to be a pervert Jake, might as well own up to it, right?"

Jake can only stare at you with desperate and shaken eyes at having been caught all the while having your naked skin pressed against his. Jake's body is burning in want and need, and his lack of judgment overtakes his stature as he grasps onto your hips in a fit of desperation, hopelessly clutching them ground himself and have you closer.

"I asked you a question, Jake." You draw out, fingers digging themselves into his cheeks to catch his focus.

"I… I…" He's at a loss, finding it embarrassing having to confess his desires for you.

"Come on, puppy. You can do it." You urge on, and Jake releases a pitiful whine at the pet name, one he could only dream of you giving him. "I'm not going to fuck you otherwise."

At that, Jake's ears perk up, eyes wide and unbelieving at your claim. His black boba eyes are addicting to look at. The hand that was pressing on both of his cheeks went to trace the curve of his lips, biting your lip in the process as if to contain yourself from smiling too wide. "Yes, I'm a— fuck — I'm a pervert."

"There he is," You cheer, smirking at how compliant your husband is already. "And what else?"

What else is there? Do you really want him to confess how much he's been dying for you to fuck him? Is that it? 

Jake's mind is jumbled, now tipsy from both the wine and your touches. 

"You're a whore. That's what you are. " You say, answering for him as you release the grip you had on his cheeks. "Do you think I never noticed the way you'd peep into my room in the middle of the night, hm? Or, the time where you were humping the pillow you took from my room? You thought I didn't know what you were doing, didn't you?"

From the millionth time, Jake becomes speechless, and he's unsure if you're angry at him or not, though it seems to be as if you're just trying to make him own up. However, one things for sure, his dick is getting hard.

"At the end of the day, our little goody two shoes Jake is just a whore." You spit out with venom. 

"Why don't you show me how good whores act?"

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