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@jokseenkin

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steps
The Ikea biphobia couch is the funniest thing that's ever happened. We found it gang. Nothing will ever top it in terms of being funny.
The what???
The Ikea biphobia couch.
???
I don't know what to tell you man.
This is the best rage comic
Brian McFadden: Is Google Cooked? (via Daily Kos)

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in UK this is a Taskmaster challenge, in Finland this would be Fear Factor
peruskoulu ja lukio: tiettyjen oppiaineiden ja kurssien oppitunnit on aina samassa luokassa. luokkien infrastruktuuri ja välineistö on räätälöity spesifin aineen erityistarpeisiin ja vaatimuksiin.
yliopisto: kurssin x luento oli viime viikolla siivouskopissa, tällä viikolla vessassa. kurssilla on 43 osallistujaa? tough shit, saatte salin jossa on 11 istumapaikkaa. samaan tilaan on buukattu ristiin oikeuslääketieteen seminaari ja varhaiskasvatuksen luento. puolet luennosta kuluu siihen että äänentoisto saadaan toimimaan. projektori räjähtää kesken powerpoint-esityksen. homeitiöillä on ikuinen opinto-oikeus.
peruskoulun ja lukion isommat oppiaineet: tiettyjen oppiaineiden ja kurssien oppitunnit on aina samassa luokassa. luokkien infrastruktuuri ja välineistö on räätälöity spesifin aineen erityistarpeisiin ja vaatimuksiin.
peruskoulun islamintunnit: tunti oli viime viikolla siivouskopissa, tällä viikolla vessassa. tunnilla on 43 oppilasta luokka-asteilta 1-9 joista 13 erityisopetuksen pienryhmään oikeutettuja? tough shit, saatte luokan jossa on 11 istumapaikkaa ja rehtori on ehtinyt aina lähteä kotiin siinä vaiheessa kun tunti alkaa eli häneen ei saa yhteyttä. samaan tilaan on buukattu ristiin myös ekaluokan espanjantunti ja ysien terveystarkastukset. äänentoistoa ei ole nähty sen jälkeen kun kaupunki otti digiloikan. asbestilla on ikuinen opinto-oikeus.
t. peruskoulun islam-ope
i’m still not over the linguistic miracle that is the Finnish expression “noni” and its variations
NOni (emphasis on the first syllable): “well now you’ve done it, good job” meaning you’ve majorly fucked up
noNI (emphasis on the last syllable): “I TOLD YOU DIDN’T I” meaning I totally was right and this argument is over
noni (literally no emphasis): “Anyway” or “I need to rearrange my thoughts, give me a sec”
NOniin (emphasis on the first syllable): “i admit my defeat you were right” meaning it definitely answers the noni above
noNIIN (emphasis on the last syllable): “let’s get started” or “okay anyway let’s continue”
NONni (emphasis on the first syllable): “aw, that sucks”
nonNI (emphasis on the last syllable): “without further ado, let’s get started”, usually after a long wait before a lengthy speech/presentation
nonni (again no emphasis): “you’re such a disappointment”
nonnnnnni (the length of the -nn- defines the meaning): “that’s too bad” or “i told you so” or “why would you drop the family heirloom vase it was literally worth 500k euros”
No. Nii. (the pause between no and nii defines the meaning): “yea, just like I was saying” or “and that’s about all I know about this issue” or “okay you’re right” or “hold on i need a moment to figure what to say next”
noniii (the length of the -ii defines the meaning): “ah, it’s finally working” or “I’m not so sure about that one”, or “well I guess you’re right but consider the following:” or “ah, buckle your seat belts, the ride’s about to begin”
no NIIN (sometimes no is almost swallowed and it sounds like “nNNII”): “finally finished”, usually after a lengthy speech/presentation
no nii-IH (if you forget the singsong tone this won’t work): “that’s what i’ve literally been trying to say for the past three hours” or “i know right ugh”
no niiii-i (the last -i is really short and sort of fades into the void of eternity, probably the most passive-aggressive word in the entire Finnish language): “i fucking agree” or “yeah tell me about it” after a very negative discussion, in which you usually complain about someone or something
NONIH (only mothers know how to say this one): “do this or so god help me” or “it’s six am on a Saturday morning and you’re about to clean up the entire house and the neighbour’s house too”
NOHNI (everyone driving a car naturally aces this one): “fucking. drive. you. slow. ass. slug” or “it’s fucking green it’s been green for 84 years” or “please don’t fucking hit me please” or “how the hell did that one even get a licence”
the truly terrifying thing is that this made perfect sense to me.
The purpose of a berry is what it does

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they should invent a high ponytail that doesn’t give me a headache and they should invent a low ponytail that doesn’t make me look like a miller’s apprentice going off to enlist in the continental army
adhd is like I think it’s gonna take me fifteen minutes to fill up my water bottle
Kate Bush having a cigarette on the set of her Experiment IV music video (1986)
today's gregor samsa is: getting misted in the produce aisle
requested by: anonymous

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HUH?
Most cop thing I've ever read. what the fuck are you talking about. The posts you're looking for might be on this website but we won't show them to you???
I'm sure all my settings are set to "yes show me mature content no don't filter anything" what are you TALKING ABOUT
the posts are ON THE WEBSITE. I can't search dirty words?? am I five??? is this club penguin??? when I get you
What the hell
What is going on
what's up gamers. i took a potion from a cackling witch and have become an even-toed ungulate