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@jokefont

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‘ here's the thing, kid: ’ a slow, steady breath slides between his teeth,‘ as much as i'd LOVE to drop everything i'm doing and follow you on some wild goose chase, i can't. i've been planning this nap for HOURS. unless you're dying, come back in a month. ’
HIATUS NOTICE: DEC. 20-27.
ALRIGHT, so: i’ll be driving from texas to tennessee for christmas. (family road trip, yeehaw.) i leave super early in the morning tomorrow, cst. i’ll be camping, hiking, and touring with my family throughout the week, and i’ll be coming back on the 27th. i’m not sure if i’m gonna have time to write, but if i do, i’ll definitely try. anyway, i wish everyone happy holidays! stay safe & have fun! (mutuals can IM me for contact handles!)
`💀. — WATCH OUT, METTATON.
❛ - GYAAAAAAAH !!!! ❜ just don’t question his ‘girly’ scream. don’t.
‘ geez, kid. you've got some pipes. ’ he didn't question; he observed.
`💀. — HIT OR MISS.
little appreciation is discerned for the lack of aid, for it meant that the period the batter had spent standing here was now time which had been spent in vain. however – the purifier did take note of the last bit which the ( skeleton ? ) spoke of. tunnels and rivers – in the underground ?
❛ which direction are the spectres in ? ❜
‘ specters? ’ it seemed someone had made an enemy. ( naturally, mettaton comes to mind. ) ‘ heh. the only ghost i've seen is your sense of humor. ’ he could easily give this stranger directions. what this guy wanted was none of his business. ( but, judging by the bat on his shoulder and the scowl on that bland mug of his, it may as well be. )
‘ seriously, your attitude needs some polish. one could, uh, call you a diamond in the rough. ’

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`💀. — STILL THE COOLEST.
“ BROTHER, IF YOU DO NOT REMOVE THAT SOCK FROM THE FLOOR & TAKE IT TO YOUR ROOM WHERE IT BELONGS … I’M AFRAID I’LL HAVE TO RESORT TO —-DRASTIC MEASURES !! “
‘ ——drastic measures? ’ in a tired attempt to hide that ( shit-eating ) grin, he buries his mouth in his sleeve. ‘ on your own brother? ’
`💀. — CHESHIRE.
WELL, I’LL BE - the Judge’s grin seemed to widen just a tad bit more, an audible purr rumbling in his chest. A noise akin to a chuckle slips past pointed teeth, tail coming to shift back and forth methodically against the ground, eyes almost shining.
Ah, it is so good to know that at least someone has some sense of humor - people these days can be rather dull, if I’m to be honest.
a laugh, ( if you could call it that, ) slips from between his teeth in a singular, stale breath. just how many times had he told that joke? his arsenal was BEATEN and tired, but he'd yet to leave it be. even if those jokes had lost their luster to him, so long as someone smiled, he'd continue spinning them. ( in times like these, laughter was something of a PAEAN. )
‘ heh. it, uh, ain't often i get such a great paw-dience. but jokes aside, i'm glad to meet someone with a, uh, similar cat-tittude. ’
he rocks on his heels, shaking his head. ‘ ——sorry, i, uh, couldn't resist. the name's sans. 's a real pleasure. ’
`💀. — …
❛ . . oh, you.
Eona mumbles in a near-silent tone, crouching down in the snow to face the monster. Her sands tilt with the new angle, but do not stop flowing.
❛ the years have not treated you well . timeline after timeline , reset after reset . what a pitiful existence . but it stings more when you’ re well aware of your predicament , does it not ?
if he'd skin on those TIRED bones, oh, how it would have crawled. he turns on his heel ( with a sharp crunch of the snow, ) in time to watch her knees so elegantly give. in truth, it takes him a painstaking moment to process what he's hearing —— much less what he's seeing. ( a horrifying beauty & a petrifying truth. )
he remains stone-faced, tone empty. he's always playing
‘ lady, i haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about. ’
LIAR.
`💀. — HAVEN'T REALLY HIT IT OFF.
a shift in his stance. patience isn’t something the batter is endowed enough with. his focus is singular, and he’s starting to view this encounter as pointless towards the advancement of his mission. but – the individual was also the only one the batter had found in his current quest to gain directions to the nearest monorail station.
❛ i don’t understand how that was supposed to help me. ❜
‘ couldn't help you if i tried, bucko. ’ in all verity, he was ENJOYING himself. to him, fresh faces were something of a collector's item: fresh and ripe for the picking. ( or rather, PRANKING. ) ‘ really, i can't. if you wanna get somewhere, YOU’VE got two feet and WE’VE got tunnels an' rivers. heh. welcome to the underground. ’
“ BROTHER, YOU REALLY SHOULD FIND A WAY TO FIX THIS SLEEP WALKING PROBLEM. YOU CAN’T ALWAYS SLEEP IN MY BED !! WHAT IF I … DATE ?? YOU CAN’T BE IN HERE WITH MY ESTEEMED PARTNER !! “
“ *eh. i know, i know. not all of us can be as great as you. i’ll get on it soon. i have to. i dunno if i have much time. after all —- who wouldn’t wanna date the coolest guy in all of the underground ? “ ©

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Your brother's lame.
and for a single, horrible moment, there's silence. it almost seems like time has ground to a halt. no one is moving, no one is talking.
and all at once, ( like UNPAUSING a movie, ) everything resumes. people continue laughing, the music continues playing, and sans continues beaming.
‘ heh. sarcasm ain't all that funny, kid. ’
‘ if it weren't for him, i really don't know where i'd be. i owe 'im a lot. ’ he rests his chin on his fist. ‘ and, as such, if anyone were to ever hurt him... well. let's just say they're fixin' for a real bad time. ’
do you have any other family sans
&. for a moment, ( SCARCELY a second, ) that trademark smile falters. suddenly, his hands feel a bit heavier in his pockets. ( if he'd a heart, he's sure it would be POUNDING on his tired bones. ) but WHY? there was nothing to fear — no skeletons in his closet. *heh. so, why does he feel like there's something MISSING?
‘ nah. it's always been me an' pap. ’
“ NOW YOU’RE BLUE !! “
SANS, as written by stasi. please don't reblog this if you're a personal blog.
`💀. — SAW RIGHT THROUGH ME.
A FROWN purses the young child’s lips; his gaze takes a moment to take one more quick glance at the sign.
❛ Well, first, I have a question for you. Isn’t STEAMED SNOW just WATER? ❜
‘ if you wanna see it that way, sure. but, uh, let me ask you somethin', kid. ——where's the fun in that? ’ he shrugs, rocking back and forth on his heels. ‘ y'ever see someone get excited over plain ol' water? heh. unless you're stranded in the desert, i doubt it'd, uh, do anythin' spectacular for you. now, 'steamed snow'? it just sounds interestin'. it leaves somethin' to the imagination. ’

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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‘ heh. i don't really have a boombox with me, but, uh, people 've played some pretty sick tunes on my ribcage. ’
‘ whatever it is, i'm sure it's great. you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. ’ and with that, he leans back in his chair. an idle breath whistles between his teeth. ‘ but then again, what do i know? ’