He also did not want me to visit his glitter factory. The jovial Mr. Shetty told me over the phone that people have no idea of the scientific knowledge required to produce glitter, that Glitterex’s glitter-making technology is some of the most advanced in the world, that people don’t believe how complicated it is, that he would not allow me to see glitter being made, that he would not allow me to hear glitter being made, that I could not even be in the same wing of the building as the room in which glitter was being made under any circumstance, that even Glitterex’s clients are not permitted to see their glitter being made, that he would not reveal the identities of Glitterex’s clients (which include some of the largest multinational corporations in the world; eventually, one did consent to be named: thank you, Revlon, Inc.), and that, fine, I was welcome to come down to Glitterex headquarters to learn more about what I could not learn about in person.

now THIS is journalism

“Most of the glitter that adorns America’s name brand products is made in one of two places: The first is in New Jersey, but the second, however, is also in New Jersey.” that is without a doubt the funniest sentence i have ever read

Truth bomb: glitter is the herpes of the craft world.

Apparently McDonald’s also said they’re getting killed by millenials and one of their CEO’s said it’s because millenials don’t have “brand loyalty” and are instead “promiscuous”

Brand sluts, the new Millennial Threat.

That's cus their brand is shit. Not hard to understand. McDonald's and I got divorced a long long time ago.

i’ve spent a good 1/3rd of my life alone in my bedroom

https://open.spotify.com/track/62fX8EW16l8St2yL8rMer9

Literal mood fuck you Morrissey

oh god I just lost it laughing