💀💀💀

not being able to sleep is actually the worst! i felt so tired and thought that i would just pass out when i went to bed, but unfortunately that didn’t happen. so i scrolled through instagram and watched videos of pandas for way too many hours. they’re just so freakin adorable! the way they interact and just roll around blissfully. i digress though. i think ive messed up my sleeping pattern. any suggestions on how to get a proper nights sleep? 

@hfrpstarters​

blissfully cause they stupid... mad cute tho, i’ll give ‘em that. but boy, you wanna rank dumb animals, pandas gotta be up there. can’t even eat food that’s good for ‘em without bein’ forced! sleep? i don’t know ‘er. well, we got a touchy relationship, anyway... sometimes she’s smotherin’ me, other times i can’t get ‘er to look at me unless i spend all night in the gym till i wanna drop on that nasty floor. figure that’s not the solution you’re lookin for though, sorry love.

i know it’s supposed to be an insult, but i love when brits call me a twat. absolutely hilarious. which part of the uk are you from? only reason i’m asking is because there’s apparently a difference and it apparently matters. dude.. lower your voice. don’t wanna’ put new music on the radar otherwise i won’t hear the end of it. i’ve been in the studio though, so i’m hoping next summer? fingers crossed. which film? is it another action? you should try a comedy next year. make it a goal for 2020. 

don’t worry ‘bout it. just know it was a real solid one. 

HEY THIS GUY OWES US MUSIC, INTERNET. FUCKIN’ YELL AT ‘IM. IT’S BEEN FOREVER.

look, everything i’m in s’got that element of comedy, i’m fuckin’ funny, bro. but a full out one...?? not yet. we got drama, we got thrillers, we got sci-fi, we got a series by steve mcqueen... no laugh tracks yet. maybe some day. think i could hack it? i do, like i said before, i’m a riot, but.. you know, alternative perspectives, n’ all that.

bill: wow, yeah. you'd think someone would take the opportunity to make bank on that. i'd say maybe he didn't want to draw attention with an outrageously priced item but he got caught anyway, so.

bill: i'm imagining a lot of them dress up in costumes at every premiere too! that kind of enthusiasm always adds a fun element.

bill: fair enough.

bill: sure, i'm not saying either of us aren't capable of faking it given what we do, i'm just also of the mind i'd rather not have to, if that makes sense? like we both know we're not going to be best friends and that's fine, i'd just rather not have things be completely awkward if i can help it. and leaving them where they were...probably would have made it awkward.

john: wow, you're really out here tryna take that high road, eh? that's cool, that's cool...

oscar: really? i mean, i didn't think she'd tell you details but like at least

oscar: REALLY?

oscar: oh boy i may be in trouble, then.

oscar: is it that weird??

john: it's weird for ME

john: you're both family to me, and yanno it's generally a curious thing when family starts fuckin'... barring marriage

john: i don't know. it's not... THAT surprising. i guess. s'not about me, neither. sorry.

bill: i thought the whole thing was made up!! it's hard to know what the facts are when the whole thing just sounded so outlandish it was too easy to assume that was a joke or something. but okay, you don't actually take scripts to parties. 😂

bill: oh yeah, i can imagine with it about to come out. that press tour must be insane for a film that size.

bill: [typing...]

bill: yes and no? i feel like things maybe got off on a weird foot with us on set. now that we're a bit removed from it and yeah, likely have to do press for the film at some point, i thought i'd say hi. advantage that press might be less awkward.

john: dumbest part is that the idiot what stole it didn't even charge over a hundred US. like....... come on, dude

john: it's a lot, but it's a good time, for the most part. fans r great

john: weird is a word for it.... bad's another

bill: i thought that story about you leaving a script at a party and it showing up on ebay was some weird rumor, but it actually happened??? that is too hilarious. even more so it's for one of the biggest films out there. is that what you do at parties though, say hi to everyone and then slink off to the corner to read scripts?

bill: anyway, just thought i'd say hello, see how the holiday season's treating you. how's things?

john: ok first of all it wasn't a party, it was an apartment rental & i left it under my bed. i was moving house the next day and forgot it was there... get ur facts straight

john: it's uh.. been fine. busy with star wars press, u kno.

oscar: you walked right into that one!

oscar: yeah, and she needs no mutt.

oscar: boybaega thursdays, we'll call it.

[ typing... ]

oscar: casually

oscar: but........ yes?

oscar: i'm SORRY, i thought you KNEW. i figured dais tells you everything, i've just assumed this entire time. at least since press started. did you think she just kept beating you to my room when we meet up for breakfast?

john: dais and i don't talk about that stuff!! we can't! or.. i can't! she's basically my sister, i can't-- i /don't/--

john: YES?? I DID THINK THAT

oscar: mm, pretty sure i've gotten pedro tell me the same thing. or maybe i said that to him. 🤔

oscar: Cammy does what she WANTS, OKAY. i tell her, 'stop eating grass,' and then she looks at me with those eyes and i'm like '...please stop eating grass?' it's a never ending cycle she'll never listen.

oscar: you can't see it, but i'm gesturing to your texts as if my point's been proven--because it is.

oscar: of /course/ you are, you're my boy, remember?

oscar: fuck

oscar: shit

oscar: it means nothing, nope! nothing to see here. this is not the droid you are looking for!!

john: omg no stop i'm dEAD

john: 🙈🙈 i CANNOT ANYMORE

john: she does what she wants, she's a strong independent dog

john: ok good, well that's settled

[ typing... ]

[ typing... ]

john: im sorry just

john: lemme get this straight

john: u and dais............?????

[ typing... ]

john: gonna lose my mind here mate, was not prepared for this ABSOLUTE MIND FUCK

oscar: aw, don't dash away my dreams like that, baby boy. i'll keep it PG for you.

oscar: i can only hope if it ever comes to it, you'd feel the same about going after me. but i'm not fooling anyone with jedi mind tricks. i can't even get my dog to stop eating grass when we're at the dog park.

oscar: THEN SLOW DOWN

oscar: IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY EASY, JOHN

oscar: don't make me go old school and make a slide presentation about why you guys should live in new york. here's a preview of reason one: it's me. i'm the reason.

oscar: i mean, you're the one who said they didn't wanna get cozy or else you'd be invited.

[ typing... ]

oscar: wait, has daisy told you anything?

john: 😤 i'm a big boy, i can take it

john: holy SHIT 💀💀💀 idk why but that GOT me, i'm dyin

john: NO IT AINT

john: I GOT SHIT TO OD

john: DO

john: it's a compelling reason........... only if i'mgonna get regular date nights, kay?

john: hol up

john: told me anything about WHAT???

i can’t ever let you live this down, dude. every time someone tries to get up my ass about spoilers, i’ll let them know that i, at least, don’t leave scripts and music sheets just lying around for housekeeping to profit off of. and if that did end up happening, hopefully the ones tidying up my house are a bit brighter. if you’re gonna’ break the law, at least do it well. with star wars almost wrapped up, what else are you working on? 

little bit of a twat, ain’t ya? heheh, fiiiiiiiine, suppose i deserve it. press is gonna start up soonish for another film comin’ out next year, then after that, well... my lips are sealed! can’t divulge them secrets, even though i’m sorta... inclined to accidentally do it. when you droppin’ a new album, mate??